For the Love of an Elf
by slash1
Summary: Haldir and Glorfindel. Slash. Angst. Hot Damn I finally Updated! End. But without epilogue yet.
1. chapter 1

Haldir breathed in deep and exhaled slowly. He hungrily scanned the surroundings. Nothing. 

"They will arrive, brother. Be patient." Orophin said in elvish. It wasn't obvious that his brother was anxious. It was the exact opposite. Haldir didn't show any outward feeling. He wore a cold mask of indifference, schooled by several hundred years of training. It's just that his brother knows Haldir too well, and could see through the mask he wears.

"Yes, Haldir. Besides, it's still early." chimed in Rumil. Both he and Orophin exchanged smiles.

Haldir frowned at them.Was he obvious? No. It's just that he cannot hide anything from his brothers. He knew that. He also knew that whatever response he makes won't save him from their teasing. So he remained silent and pretended not to hear them.

Haldir, March Warden of Lothlorien, is among the best archer and warrior in the land he is protecting. He is well known for his abilities, as well as his cold and calculating manners when dealing with strangers, which many mistake for arrogance. Indeed, he was the epitomy of being a warrior. He seemed fearless. He also projects an aura of leadership, and a quality that says he will never relent to anything, or anyone. He is unyielding, and stood his ground when facing his enemies. He shows no weakness, not even to his brothers, at least, when he was not drunk anyway. There were only three elves who have ever seen him in a weakened state. There was Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn, who raised him and his brothers. They witnessed him transform from a gauch elfling to a proud warrior. They were the only ones who have ever seen the March Warden cry, and that was when orcs killed the boys' parents. It was the last time Haldir ever cried. As a warrioir, he felt that he should be strong. And that he was. The only other elf who has ever seen him weak, or at least weaker than normal, was his lover. Glorfindel. Haldir sighed. Glorfindel made him weak. He made Haldir need him. When they were together, Haldir lets himself be dominated. Why? /Because I love him. And try as I might to deny it, I need him./ Haldir sighed again. He never wanted to need anyone, especially not Glorfindel. But then again, he never wanted to fall in love with the other elf either. But both had happened. And now, as he watched the distant horizon, he felt his heart flutter at the thought of his lover's arrival.

A party of elves from Rivendell were arriving today. They are coming to speak to the Lady of the Woods. There had been rumors about the One Ring being found, so Lord Elrond thought it necessary to arrange this meeting. But it was not that that has the March warden excited. It was Glorfindel.

He and Glorfindel have been lovers for over fifty years, yet Haldir's heart still races whenever the older elf visits him. /It's because I love him still, and more each day/ Haldir thought. Indeed, his love for Glorfindel grew over time, even though he had tried so hard to destroy it. He tried to stop loving the other elf, but his heart never listened. Even his brothers have figured it out. Finally, he gave up fighting and just accepted the fact that the former warrior of Gondolin had his heart. Even though Haldir knows that his love will never be returned. True, they are lovers, but they are not in love. /Well, at least Glorfindel isn't anyway. / Haldir corrected. He sighed and closed his eyes as a stabbing pain ripped through him. /Stop it. You knew about this when you accepted his offer. Stop hoping. He will never love you. Stop hoping./ But his heart was stubborn, and still hoped that one day, Glorfindel will love him back. Memories of that day when Haldir sealed his fate came back to him, and he saw it like it was only yesterday…


	2. chapter 2

DISCLIAMER: I do not own the characters. I just play with them. They are Tolkien's. Each and every one of them.

A/n. I forgot another warning. This is AU, in case you are wondering. I am too lazy to read enough to follow the real plotline. Sorry. I don't really have the resources for pre-fotk. If it's in the internet, I don't know.  And, oh yeah, I have to warn you that when I wrote this story, I wrote it as one long long long chapter, and I couldn't upload it, so I had to cut it. Unfortunately, it kinda ruined some of the flow, so there may be some parts where the story seems to just stop. I am trying to try to fix it. But don't cut me slack. Just…tell me what I do wrong. So I can fix it.

Thank you for reading the story, and for reviewing.

WARNING: In this chapter, sex happens. (Did I spoil anything?) Well, it does. So if you are not comfy with the idea of two males going at it (hmmm…), please do not read. DO NOT READ. If you're okay with it, then by all means read. There is also some dirty or kinky "pillow talk". Oh yeah, I want feedback again, okay?Please? If you know of any way for me to improve my writing, TELL ME. And I'll do my damnedest to follow your advice. I am not good with writing sex scenes and I will keep saying that until you go crazy and so you will leave reviews (right?), but I needed it in my fic, so I gave it my best. And yes, I use swear words, especially dammit, damn, dagnamit….(sometimes in the fic, but also when I'm writing some notes. More in the notes, I think.)

Haldir's memory travelled back to the day when his heart was captured by a certain elf lord. He smiled at the memory. He was young and foolish then. He thought himself mature, but he realized just how little he knew with the time he spent with Glorfindel. Fifty years was a short time for an elf, but he learned more in that time than he did in his entire life.

It will always be a special day in his life. He had gone a little crazy. He lost his mind, as well as his heart…

It was a feast in honor of the Lady Galadriel's conception day. Lothlorien was transformed from its serene nature to a place of festive music. There was a lot of food, and guests from all over came to bid the Lady happiness. Lord Elrond, Arwen and the twins were there, of course. So were Glorfindel and Erestor. All were seated with the Lord and Lady of the Woods. Haldir and the other Galadhrim mingled with the guests. They were there both as guests and guards, for they could not take the chance of enemies attacking in the middle of the feast. 

Haldir, though renowned as a warrior, was also known for his charm and reputation with the maidens, and although a lot of male elves fancied him as well, he was never attracted to those similar in gender as he. He was flirting with an elf maiden when he caught sight of Glorfindel. He had seen the older elf earlier that day, but he was wearing a cloak so Haldir was not able to see him properly. But now, now… Haldir frowned as he found himself admiring the other elf's beauty. Since when did he appreciate his own gender that way? Haldir pried his eyes away and tried to concentrate on what the elf maiden was telling him. Something about his talan being high, and how she'd like to see it. Haldir smiled as he caught the last of her words. No maiden could ever resist his charm. And tonight was no exception. Did I say some mistook him as arrogant?

"Then perhaps I could show you later tonight. For I cannot leave the festival as yet." The maiden blushed and told him she understood. Tonight then, she told him before scurrying off to her friends. Probably to tell them about tonight. Haldir sighed when he heard giggles. It hasn't happened yet and half of Lothlorien will probably know of it even before it happens. He was a rather popular "conquest". He took a drink from his cup. Unconsciously, his eyes strayed back to the blond eldar. As he drank, an image of his hands tangled in the lord's hair while Haldir devoured his mouth flitted through his mind. The Lorien elf nearly choked when he realized what he had been thinking. In his haste to remove the cup, some of the wine spilled onto his robes. He stared at the darkening stain, still trying to behave his reeling thought. /Where had that come from?/

"Brother, I have never known you to be clumsy. Perhaps you should leave the wine for tonight." Orophin said when he saw the stains in Haldir's robe. Haldir looked up and took the cloth Orophin offered him and used it to try to remove the stain.

"It was just an accident. I wasn't paying attention." Haldir said as he continued to wipe at the stains.

"Oh? Where was your attention?" asked Orophin. Haldir paused from what he was doing. How was he going to answer that?

"I, uh, it was elsewhere…" the March Warden said feebly. Orophin laughed when he noticed that Haldir was blushing, for Haldir never blushed. Nor stammer. Perhaps it was the wine.

"Elsewhere, huh? To a certain elf maiden? Of which you are going to spend the night with? Not sleeping?" 

Haldir threw the rag at his brother. "Right." he said, and left to change, leaving a hysterically laughing Orophin.

In his talan, Haldir hastily removed his robe. But his mind was not at the task at hand. He was still wondering what happened. Why had he thought that? True, the eldar was beautiful, but there were far more beautiful maidens, and none has ever made him think like that! No one has ever made him fantasize about devouring anyone, of running his hands through their hair, locking his fingers in them as he tilts their head for a kiss that would end all kisses. At least, not the way THAT fantasy went. Haldir shook himself. What was wrong with him? Maybe his brother was right. Maybe he had too much wine. That's it. Too much wine. The fact that he barely had one cup is irrelevant. He quickly changed into another robe, one of dark color, perhaps to make sure that even if he spills wine on it, it will not matter. He sighed and closed his eyes.

Back at the festivities, Glorfindel noticed when Haldir stood and took leave. /I wonder where he is going?/ he thought as he watched the other elf depart. /He is not with anyone, so it cannot be… Or can it? His reputation with the maidens is well known. But will he abandon his duty for… that?/ Glorfindel's gaze followed Haldir until the other disappeared among a throng of elves. The eldar knew he was attracted to the March Warden. He had noticed it when they had first met. He was awestruck with the Lorien elf's beauty. He has not felt attraction this strong ever since his rebirth, so his thoughts were particularly carnal in those first moments. It was then that he was sure of his desire for the other elf. Glorfindel smiled to himself. /I will have him./ 

Haldir stepped back into the festivities. Several elves, mostly maidens, inquired about his change of clothes, to which Orophin and Rumil, whom Orophin has apparently informed, happily related to them about his attention being "elsewhere" while he was drinking the wine, resulting in his need to change. Haldir felt his cheeks flame, a second time this night which made Orophin reaffirm his belief that Haldir had too much wine, when his brothers ever so "subtly" told all who will listen where they think Haldir's attention was at that moment. He began to think of the best ways to kill his brothers without Lady Galadriel finding out and incarcerating him. He had already constructed his alibi when Lady Galadriel approached him.

"Haldir." she said softly while bidding him to come nearer. He approached her and gave a slight bow.

"Haldir, this is Lord Glorfindel. He wishes to see the woods. Please accompany him" she requested. Haldir looked at the eldar. His heart raced at the thought of being alone with the other elf, especially in his condition. /Condition? Too much wine. Right! Too much wine./ He fought to keep his composure.

"Would it not be better to do so in daylight?" Haldir respectfully suggested. But in his mind laid the real reason why he voiced such. /At least, in daylight, it won't be so…dark. And light is always safer. Safer? I mean, we can see things better. No groping./ He swallowed as that last word made him think of something indecent involving the one he was to escort into the dark woods, alone, where no one can hear you scream. Bad word. Groping. And screaming. He wanted to make the eldar scream. /Oh Gods…/ What was wrong wih him? He has never been this…imaginative, or unsure, or anything close to what he was feeling tonight! That elven wine must be extra potent.

"I wish to see how the woods look in moonlight. Unless, that is, you have other business tonight?" Glorfindel answered. 

Haldir tried to collect his thoughts. Moonlight? /Oh Gods, this cannot be good./  "I have…none, my lord. I will be honored to escort you." he said with a bow. 

"Very well then. I shall meet you here in a few minutes. I wish to change my robes into something less…white." 

Lady Galadriel chuckled. "Thank you, Haldir." she said gently. //I am sorry. I know you have plans tonight. But Lord Glorfindel was insistent. I could not refuse//. Haldir looked at Lady Galadriel and smiled. //I understand, my lady. My…business tonight is not important anyway.// With a nod, Lady Galadriel turned to leave. So did Glorfindel.

"Hmm, too bad, brother. Instead of having a maiden tonight, you are stuck with an eldar." Rumil whispered in his ear. Haldir will never admit that he grew hard at the thought of being "stuck" with the eldar.

Haldir paced as he waited for Glorfindel. He did not know why he was so nervous. But then again, ever since that treacherous thought of kissing the eldar came unbidden in his mind, there were a lot of things he did not know. /It's a simple walk in the woods. Nothing is going to happen. I am not attracted to him. I am not. Not attracted. Not attracted. Not…/

"Haldir?" Glorfindel's voice snapped the younger elf out of his self-imposed mantra. Haldir turned to face the elven lord and all thoughts of not being attracted to him fled his mind. Glorfindel wore a dark blue tunic that was only loosely tied so that a bit of his chest was exposed, and brown leggings that hugged his legs like second skin. His hair was loose, except for the braids above his ears. Haldir swallowed as the pale moonlight made Glorfindel look ethereal. /He is beautiful./

"I'm sorry I was late. I seem to have lost all my robes, so I had to settle for this one. I think they misplaced my luggage somewhere. Shall we go?" Glorfindel said as he walked towards Haldir. The other elf swallowed and tried to temper his voice in a reply.

"It is all right, my lord. This way please." Haldir hoped to the gods that he wasn't blushing again.

Glorfindel hid a smile as he noticed Haldir's evident attraction to him. Whoever lost his luggage he will have to thank in the morning.

They walked deep into the forest, with Haldir occasionally pointing out certain things that Lothlorien was known for. Other times, silence seemed befitting.

"And this, this is lover's cove." Haldir was saying when he stopped abruptly, realizing where they were. /So what? It is a beautiful site. It has nothing to do with anything!/ he berated himself as carnal thoughts began racing in his mind involving him and Glorfindel, in this place, with far less clothes than they had on right now. /Stop it. Stop fantasizing about him. Oh Elbereth, help me!/

Glorfindel raised a brow. "Lover's cove?" he said while looking around. They were on a ledge at the side of the mountain, with a spectacular view of the woods. They had entered a cave and had come out here.

"Well, it's private, for one. No one can see, or hear you from here." /I am not blushing. I am not blushing./ "And, um, there's a beautiful sight, especially during sunrise, when Anor comes from behind those mountains." Haldir said, pointing at the peaks in the horizon.

"I see. Lovers wishing to be…entwined as they watch the sunrise. It is romantic." Glorfindel spoke as he stared at the faraway mountain range. Haldir looked at him. The eldar smiled. "What about you, Haldir? Have you ever brought anyone here? To…watch the sun rise?" he turned to look at the younger elf.

Haldir stood frozen as Glorfindel's eyes seem to bore into his very soul. "I…no." He never brought anyone here because he never found anyone special enough to be brought here. No one worth bothering all that walking, and climbing for. So why had he brought the elven lord here? /To show him the sights. As I was asked to./ He told himself. Right.

Glorfindel's smile widened. He began to advance slowly towards Haldir, never taking his eyes off the archer. "Oh? Why not?" 

"I…" Haldir's heart thundered in his chest. He had realized the eldar coming closer, but he could not move. "I…"/What is wrong with me?/

Then Glorfindel was right in front of him, mere inches away, and Haldir could not think clearly anymore. 

"Yes?" Glorfindel asked. Haldir didn't know if the eldar was encouraging him to go on with what he was saying, or was asking him a question that had nothing to do with what he was saying, which he answered. 

"Yes." he whispered before Glorfindel's mouth closed over his and he was lost. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Haldir knew that he shouldn't be doing this, but that thought disappeared as pleasure clouded his mind. Vaguely, he felt himself being lowered to the ground. He was not sure if he removed his clothes, or if they were removed for him. But soon he was naked, and so was Glorfindel.

No words were said, because it took too much effort to think of any. Moans and incoherent syllables flowed from both elves, the only sound to disturb the otherwise eerily quiet surroundings. 

Everything seemed to happen so fast, yet not. Haldir was not sure. He had lost the ability to think the moment Glorfindel kissed him. All he knows for sure was that he was being kissed all over, and the eldar's hands seem to touch every part of his body. He felt it when Glorfindel parted his thighs. When the other elf stroked him. He was also aware of the eldar probing his opening. And then, Glorfindel was buried deep inside of him, and Haldir thought he'd die of pleasure. He never had male lovers, so the sensations were new to him. When Glorfindel began to move within him, the pleasure intensified and Haldir cried out. Over and over. He was not sure if he was moaning or screaming. He was sure only of the pleasure he felt. For he has never felt this way before. Never. When he thought it could not get any stronger, he felt himself near his climax. The tension began to build and Haldir fought to keep sane. He wrapped his knees around Glorfindel's waist as he grabbed the other elf's hair. 

"Please…please…" Haldir didn't realize he was begging. Glorfindel only smiled and continued to thrust into him. Then the world exploded and Haldir could not stop the scream that tore from his being. 

"GLORFINDEL!" And the eldar followed him into oblivion.

Glorfindel waited for their breathing to become normal again before he lifted his head. He gazed down at the elf beneath him and smiled. Haldir looked flushed and very, very satisfied. /At least I have not forgotten everything from my past life./ the eldar thought. 

Haldir kept his eyes closed. He had no idea what to say. He was still trying to come to terms with what happened. He has never acted like that…like he was an inexperienced little elfling. But then again, in a way, he was inexperienced, for he usually was the one in control. Not like this, where he…

He didn't know how to face Glorfindel, who laid on top of him, and seemed wasn't planning to go anywhere. And who, Haldir was shocked to realize, was still IN him. Haldir's eyes flew open at the realization.

"For a second there, I thought you'd fallen asleep" Glorfindel said, smiling at Haldir's shocked face. "You do know who you had just been with, don't you?"

"Yes." Haldir whispered.

"Good. Then why do you look so shocked?"Glorfindel thumbed a tendril of his new lover's hair.

Haldir blushed. "You…you…" he did not know how to say it. /You are still inside me./ Why was thinking it easier than saying it?

"Yes?" Glorfindel stopped what he was doing. Haldir was shy about something. But what? After what just happened between them, what could he still be shy about? 

/Since when was I ever shy about anything? There is something wrong with me./ Haldir thought before saying…"You are still in me."

Glorfindel smiled. "And? I enjoy being inside you. Do you wish me to…get out?"

Haldir's blush deepened. /Damn. Since when did I blush like a virgin?/ "No. I…it's just that…well…"

"Nobody's ever been inside you before." Glorfindel said it for him.

Haldir frowned. "Yes. How…"

"Well, it was quite obvious you were inexperienced with male lovers."

"Oh." 

Glorfindel leaned forward and kissed Haldir's ear and whispered "You are very tight."

Haldir blushed again, and groaned out loud. He felt himself harden. 

Glorfindel continued to kiss and whisper erotic nothings into his ear. "And very responsive." Kisses. "And very, very sexy when you moan." Haldir moaned as he felt the other elf grow hard inside him. Soon, both were moaning in pleasure. Again, Glorfindel had Haldir writhing in pleasure. And soon, another scream filled the air as the lovers found their climax for the second time.

And a third time. A fourth. A fifth. By the time sunrise came, Haldir and Glorfindel had come eight times. They stayed awake long enough  to watch Anor kiss middle earth, before both succumbed to exhaustion and fell asleep, entwined in each other's arms.

TBC (I keep forgetting to type this.)

A/N: Yup, Haldir is dominated in my stories, but sometimes I go a little crazy and turn the tables. I try to hide Glorfindel's point of view, you know, his feelings, in this story as much as possible. But his part will be revealed soon (or maybe not too soon). Please review again. How'd I do this time? Yeah, I know. My sex scenes need improvement, if not more details. I am not too good at that. So please review. About Haldir, he is definitely unlike all the other characterization I have read of him. I was just curious on how it's like if he was a little less sure of himself. Hehe.

 And I checked to make sure I did not switch from present to past and back again (Ilma-Kalla, thank you for pointing that out, by the way. I know it's not a flame J. Thank you very much.). I hope I was successful. Again, if you have anything more to add to my writing, please please please tell me. 

A/N warning: (just to let you know) This story is actually part of a bigger story. I'll tell you more when I get to post it. I already have an ending for THIS story, where it will be picked up by the next story, where glimpses of Glorfindel will explain what the heck is wrong with him. But I am thinking of changing it since a lot of you seem to want to know more of Glorfindel NOW. Hmmmm. I haven't figured out what to do yet. So we'll see. Chapter three will decide what I do with Glorfindel's point of view (Do I explain why he is like that, and why he doesn't seem to love Haldir the way Haldir loves him?) Do I tell you now or in the next story? That's all.

THANK YOU FOR THOSE WHO REVIEWED. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.


	3. chapter 3

Disclaimer: The characters are not mine. If they were, I would not need the disclaimer.

A/N: Sorry it took so long to update. My break is over and school has caught up and I am in deep …s#@%. But don't worry. I will update fast. I'll try to do it at most every four days.

I have already decided to put Glory's part in this story. It's not yet in this chappie but I'm working on it.

Thank you for your feedback and your suggestions on what to do. I really appreciate the reviewers, especially those who gave me ideas on what to do. Thank you very much. I would also like to thank the reviewer who, although not a slash fan, read my story anyway. I respect the fact that you were very nice about telling me your opinion and I am glad that you liked the story. I think I may write a het story just for you. (If I can). Thank you very much.

To the other reviewers, I am also thankful for your reviews. And to those who are reading, even though they are not leaving reviews. I hope you like the story.

There. On with the story.

"Have you seen Haldir?" Orophin asked a fellow elf. His brother did not come back to the talan last night and he was worried. It was possible that Haldir found a willing elf maiden and decided to stay with her but Orophin could not take the chance. Haldir always informed them of his plans, especially when he was on duty, and he has not yet been officially relieved yet. It was unlike him to just disappear.

"No. Sorry."

Rumil ran towards him. "Nobody has seen him all night, Orophin. I asked all the maidens." His worry increased at Rumil's words. Orophin decided to tell the Lady. As he ran to Lady Galadriel's house, Rumil trailed behind him, equally worried.

Lady Galadriel sighed as she watched the vision in her mirror. It has happened. She did not know what next to do, for her visions had been limited. What now? She had done what she needed to do. She had brought them together. She still did not know if it was a wise decision. But who can stop what was meant to happen?

Her thoughts were disrupted when Rumil and Orophin burst into the room, looking worried.

"My lady, forgive our rude entrance, but Haldir has been missing and no one has seen him all night and we are worried…" Orophin began when Lady Galadriel interrupted him.

"Breathe, son. And slow down."

Orophin and Rumil took a deep breath, and said, in unison. "Haldir, he is missing."

Oh dear. /Should I tell them? How?/ Lady Galadriel smiled. "Haldir is fine. He is safe. He is still with Lord Glorfindel."

"He was with the lord all night?" Rumil asked.

"Er, yes. They explored much of the woods and strayed far. They fell asleep, I believe, in one of the spots they visited. Do not worry, they are unharmed." Lady Galadriel tried to find the best way to tell the truth without actually telling the truth.

"Oh. I see. Thank you, my lady. Sorry to have bothered you." With that, the two left. Lady Galadriel sighed and closed her eyes. Haldir will have to be the one to tell his brothers. If he ever decides to let them know.

Haldir stirred, and groaned as his muscles protested. He was sore all over, for they had done things he never even thought possible.

"Good morning." Glorfindel whispered in his ear as he turned towards him. The eldar's arms were around him and Haldir's head rested on the other's chest. He lifted his head to look at his male lover and smiled.

"I think it's noon." Haldir told him.

"Actually, it's afternoon." Glorfindel corrected, glancing about the area. Haldir groaned.

"How am I going to explain my absence to my brothers and the Galadhrim?" he moaned.

"Well," Glorfindel tightened his arms around the younger elf, pulling him nearer "you can tell them something got into you. And it made you horribly…weak." He laughed when Haldir gave him an indignant look. But the younger elf laughed too.

"We have to get up. Lord Elrond will also wish to know where you have been all night."

"I'll tell him that I got into something." He reached for the archer again. Haldir stopped him.

"Stop it. I have duties, my lord."

"My lord? I think you should call me Glorfindel now."

"I… the others will wonder. My lord will have to do."

"You didn't seem to have any problem screaming my name, March Warden. They could have heard." Glorfindel didn't like what Haldir's words implied.

"That… was different. It will be hard to explain to them about this. I'd rather people do not ask." Haldir kept his head bowed. He was still confused. He did not need anybody asking him questions he could not answer. And he did not know how to take what was happening to him. He was never in a position where others dominated him. He wouldn't let them. But now, he more than begged for Glorfindel to take him. Haldir needed to sort things out.

"Very well. If you wish to keep this secret, then I respect that." Glorfindel sighed.

Both elves dressed in silence. One was confused. The other? Somewhere between perplexed, intrigued, and determined.

"Haldir, I want this again." 

Haldir stopped moving and looked at Glorfindel. 

"If you wish it, I want us to have this again." The eldar continued.

Haldir wanted to say no. He didn't know where this was going. He did not like the feelings the eldar evoked in him. They scare him, and he does not frighten easily. Yet he could not say no.

"Yes, I wish it as well." he all but whispered.

For the next days of the Rivendell elves' stay in Lothlorien, Glorfindel spent every moment he can steal with Haldir. They stayed for over seven weeks, since Elrond decided to spend more time with his daughter, and the twins to spend more time with their grandparents. Every night, Glorfindel and Haldir would meet and make love all night. In the morning, they would slip back into their places and acted like nothing happened. When others were around, they kept their hands off each other. And kept their distance from each other. No one noticed anything. But if any elf were to look closely, they would have seen the heated looks, gazes filled with promises of what was to come that night. But nobody ever looked closely, for they had no reason to. Nobody ever knew of their secret meetings, save for the Lady who never said anything, and her husband who said even less. All that the others knew was that Haldir stopped having midnight trysts with maidens. But they pegged this down to him maturing, of getting over that phase in his life. 

Haldir's confusion grew as his feelings became stronger. Yet he did not realize any of it as love. He never realized, until it was too late. Too late to stop the feelings, because he had already fallen before he even realized he was falling. It was then that his suffering began. For he loved Glorfindel, while the eldar only wanted him. Oh, Glorfindel made sweet, tender love to him, sometimes so tender Haldir almost cried, but it was not love, that he knew. It will never be love. While for the March Warden, it will always be love.

It was that love that made him accept Glorfindel's offer. The eldar was to go back to Rivendell with Lord Elrond, and Haldir feared to lose him. So he agreed to what Glorfindel offered, because at least, he can keep the eldar.

It was their last night together, for the Imladris elves were to leave the next morning. As Haldir and Glorfindel lay entwined, waiting for their heartbeats to return to normal, Glorfindel turned to look at Haldir.

"We are leaving tomorrow." he said.

"I know." Haldir fought to keep his tears from falling. He could not let Glorfindel see him cry. He could not. He does NOT cry. /I do not cry./ He reminded himself. But he felt his eyes sting. /I cannot cry. Not with him. Not when he can see. I cannot./ Because then Glorfindel will know of his love, and Haldir cannot allow that to happen. So he schooled his features into an unemotional mask.

"This does not have to end, Haldir." the eldar told him.

"How? You will leave." he pointed out uselessly.

"I will come back." Glorfindel told him. 

"When?" Haldir felt hope rising within him. Perhaps Glorfindel feels something for him after all.

"When it is needed. Or you may come to Imladris when it is needed. With the rising darkness, there will often be visits between our lands. Then we can…see each other."

Haldir's hope was crushed at Glorfindel's words. Momentary and fleeting affairs. That was what he was referring to. /What did you expect? That he will come back for you and stay forever? He does not love you!!!/

"I see." Haldir was surprised his voice did not break.

"I do not have other lovers, Haldir. You are the only one. And I am in no hurry to get another one. I will wait for the time when we are together again." Glorfindel leaned forward and kissed the younger elf.

"And I will not have any other, Glorfindel. I promise that. I will wait for you as well." Haldir whispered. He didn't know if he had gone crazy. He even wondered where the hell his pride had gone. All he was sure of was that he loved Glorfindel, and will never take another lover again. If this was the only way he can have the eldar, so be it.

Glorfindel smiled. He kissed Haldir, even as his hands began to roam the other's body. Slowly, the kiss deepened. Glorfindel's hands wandered further. He left Haldir's lips as his mouth followed the trail of his hands. Haldir groaned when he felt Glorfindel stroking him. He almost screamed when Glorfindel took him deep inside his mouth. Glorfindel teased, nipped and sucked until Haldir came. After the younger elf was spent, he kissed his way up back to Haldir's lips. Once again, he awakened Haldir's desire. But this time, he joined his body with his lover. One last time that night, they reached oblivion.

They kept true to their word. Over the years, they came together whenever they could. Haldir's brothers were a little slow in figuring out what was happening to their brother, until one night when they had gotten him drunk and he began to pore out his feelings for a certain eldar, among other things. It was an understatement to say Rumil and Orophin were shocked to find out their brother had a male lover, much less be in love with him. Eventually, they got over it and even helped Haldir make arrangements so they can cover for his duty whenever Glorfindel was in Lothlorien. Orophin was worried at first, and a little disapproving of the eldar. But he relented as well because he has never seen Haldir as happy as he was when the march warden was with Glorfindel. Something in Haldir's eyes seemed to shine whenever he was with his lover. And that was enough to convince Orophin.

During the first times they met after their first parting, Haldir and Glorfindel's lovemaking was fierce. Eventually, they mellowed down. Then they began spending nights just talking. That was when they began to truly know each other. And Haldir became more in love with the eldar. And continued to fall, still hoping that one day Glorfindel will feel the same way for him. Will he ever…?

A sad look came over Haldir's eyes as the question came to his mind yet again, reminding him of his place in his relationship with Glorfindel. He sighed. A bitter smile appeared on his lips. Why was it that whenever he took a trip down memory lane, it always came to end with that question left hanging to linger in his mind and torture his already suffering heart?

/I must love making myself suffer./ He thought.

"I think I see someone." said Orophin. Haldir snapped out his thoughts to look out the distant horizon.

"No. Those are men." said Rumil as he also peered at the faraway riders. "False alarm."

Haldir closed his eyes. He was slightly disappointed. 

Though he did not want to, his mind went back to the question. Will Glorfindel ever…? He cannot even finish the question. Deep inside, he already knew the answer. But his heart refused to give up hope. Yet he knew that it was futile. He remembered the night so clearly, when he learned something about his lover that had hurt him more than he cared to admit, and killed his most foolish dreams. Glorfindel was always so secretive when it came to matters of the heart. But that night, that night so long ago, Haldir saw the elven lord in a vulnerable state. He had wanted to wrap his arms around Glorfindel. To give him comfort. To stop the pain. Instead, pain was inflicted upon him, though unwittingly.

Forever.

It was a long time.

And Glorfindel apparently meant every word.

TBC

A/N Pls. Review again. THANK YOU!!!!! PLEASE ANSWER: Did you get confused with the switch from past to present? Because Haldir is doing a little remembering. Can you see which is when? If not, please tell me so I can improve it. (Like put flashback and end flashback. Hehe) There will be more switches and if you don't tell me I won't be able to improve. THANK YOU. I hope I am not being overly demanding.


	4. chapter 4

Disclaimer. Me not own them. They are Tolkien's children. I am only borrowing.

A/N: Sorry I posted later than I had promised. I was not satisfied with this chap and I tried to improve it but I am having a slight writer's block. Hope it's still satisfactory. I hate the beginning though. Sorry about that. Then there's the flashback thingy again. Hope it's better. Or at the very least NOT worse.

How could he hope to compete?

He couldn't. Haldir knew. But still, maybe, just maybe…

But then he was reminded again. Haldir wished he had not gotten out of bed that night when he did. He wished he had not followed Glorfindel. Because then, he would not have known, and he'd still have his dreams.

Ignorance is bliss. The truth hurts. The truth can kill.

How that one night so long ago changed him.

 Even as the March Warden of Lothlorien remembered that time, another was doing the same. As Glorfindel rode closer to Lothlorien, he felt his heart feel a gladness he would not admit. Why would he be glad? He had no reason to. At least, no reason that he was willing to accept.

/There is only one. Forever./

Glorfindel closed his eyes and remembered. It was the last time he had ever cried for him. That night…

Glorfindel rolled off Haldir. He closed his eyes as he waited for their breathing to become normal again. He felt Haldir move closer beside him, the March Warden's hands wrapping themselves around his waist. The elf lord smiled. He had noticed Haldir's habit of cuddling whenever they finished. He did not mind. He enjoyed it, really. He wasn't comfortable at first. The move was one of possession, of binding, of…love. Glorfindel shook himself. No. The gesture had nothing to do with that. Not between him and Haldir anyway.

He sighed and gathered the younger elf closer to him too. Over the years, he had gotten used to it and even returned the embrace. But everytime, he had to remind himself it was not a gesture of love. There was no love between them. There couldn't be. He would not allow it. Love…hurt. 

Glorfindel closed his eyes and went to sleep. Normally, he wouldn't, but he wanted to close out the world. It reminded him too much of things that pained him.

Haldir smiled when he felt his lover gather him close.

He was in Rivendell to bring a message to Lord Elrond from the Lady. He was staying for only a few days. It had been a few months since he and Glorfindel last saw each other. He missed the older elf dearly.

As usual, he spent his nights in Glorfindel's rooms. Elrond stopped raising his brows about it five years ago, while Elladan and Elrohir have yet to stop teasing him.

Haldir smiled again. He fell asleep listening to Glorfindel's heartbeat.

Glorfindel awoke with a start, his breathing hard.

"Ecthelion…" he whispered. But his love was nowhere. Glorfindel looked at the sleeping figure beside him.

Haldir.

Glorfindel closed his eyes. It had been a dream. Just another dream. As always.

He breathed in deeply. Quietly, he disentangled himself from the Lorien elf and rose from the bed. Donning on his breeches, he went outside, into the dead of the night.

Once outside, Glorfindel leaned against a tree. It was only then that he let all his feelings out.

Ecthelion.

In his dreams, they were still together. Happy. In love.

Alive.

"I miss you, my love." he whispered. "I miss you so much." 

Glorfindel sank to his knees as unbearable pain racked his body.

Ecthelion had been his lover in his previous life. Glorfindel loved him with all his heart, more than his life. They were inseparable. And their love for each other was stronger than any evil that threatened Middle Earth during that time. It was a subject of legends, a love so true it was worth singing for. Only death could have separated them. And it did.

Glorfindel closed his eyes in agony as the memory of his lover's death assailed him. He had been there. They were fighting side by side, as they often did. Glorfindel felt himself tiring. He knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he would not win. But he did not expect Ecthelion to lose.

He had seen Ecthelion fall with the Balrog. He remembered screaming his lover's name. It was only a few seconds before his own death, but it was embedded in his mind forever. The grief brought by the memory nearly killed him when it returned to him in his present life. It took the comfort and counseling of Lady Galadriel, Lord Elrond, and other friends to get him through. In the end, he managed to overcome his heartache.

But still…he could not let Ecthelion go.

That was why he didn't have lovers for a long time. He was never fiercely attracted to anyone, and Ecthelion still held his heart. Oh there were a few elves he was slightly interested in. But they were insignificant. Glorfindel had been satisfied with his life.

Until Haldir.

Haldir. Glorfindel sighed. Their relationship had been going on for seven years.

The March Warden intrigued him like no one ever had. Not even Ecthelion. He had desired the younger elf ever since their first meeting. And though he knew it might cause problems, Glorfindel decided to pursue the other elf. But he was not foolish enough to fancy himself in love. He knew he wasn't. 

Glorfindel smiled despite himself. Actually, when he thought about it, it was more the fact that he was not in love with the younger elf that he allowed himself to go after Haldir. Because the March Warden was the perfect lover. Glorfindel was not at risk of falling in love, and the March Warden was hardly a foolish elfling who would mistakenly equate lust with love. And that was all they have. Lust. It was all that the eldar needed, and wanted from anyone. Because Glorfindel could not allow himself to love again. Not when he was still in love.

"Ecthelion…" Glorfindel whispered. "I love you. Still. Always. Forever."

"Forever…" Haldir closed his eyes, but a solitary tear managed to escape. He had woken when he felt Glorfindel leave the bed. He had decided to follow the eldar, intending to offer comfort. But then he heard it.

"Ecthelion…" Haldir stood frozen where he was, a few feet away, hidden by a tree next to where Glorfindel was.

He had often wondered why Glorfindel couldn't love him back. At first he thought there was something wrong with him. Why would an elf lord fall for a March Warden? But now he knew. It was more than that.

Haldir slipped back to the room. /How can I compete with a memory? And of a love that obviously defies even death?/ 

It hurt. Haldir had to gather all his will to keep himself from sobbing. He hugged a pillow tightly, trying to find comfort in its softness.

He felt the bed sag as Glorfindel came back to the bed. Haldir willed his breathing to be even. He pretended to have just woken up. He turned to face his lover.

"Where did you go?" he asked the older elf, forcing a smile.

"Nowhere." Glorfindel whispered. He gathered Haldir close, embracing him tightly. He tucked the younger elf's head under his chin. "Go back to sleep."

Haldir closed his eyes. He did not hug Glorfindel back. He couldn't. It hurt him, knowing that though it was he that the eldar was holding, it was another he was thinking of. 

Both elves only pretended to sleep that night. They were hurting, one of love lost, and the other of love that was never found.

/I should have expected this/ Haldir thought. / I am not stupid. I know you will never love me./ Haldir closed his eyes tightly, trying to stop the tears from spilling.

/It's just that there is still a small part of me that hopes that someday, you will feel something for me./

/Something./

/Anything./

TBC

A/N THANK YOU TO ALL THOSE WHO REVIEWED. PLEASE CONTINUE. NEXT POLL: AM I GOING FOR BETTER OR WORSE? Hehe.


	5. chapter 5

Disclaimer. Not mine. Never will be. Dammit.

A/N: thank you for the reviews. Sorry about the delay in updates. Long story. Anyway, to the reviewer who gave me Ecthelion's background, thank you. I admit I did not know any of that. I just borrowed the pairing from a friend who is doing a Glory Ecthe story and from what she told me, Ecthe is an elf. Sorry, I guess I should have checked, but I did not have the resources. But still, I should have tried from the Internet. Sorry again. For the sake of my story, I am going to specify that Ecthe is an elf, a warrior in the last alliance, and a few hundred years older than Glory. Kay? Sorry. I'll try not to make another blooper like that again. Thank you for the info.

I would also like to remind everyone that this is AU, so some events are my ideas, though I borrow quite a lot from the movie, and some details in the books. Yes, they did not know that Bilbo had the ring. Well, they do now. Hehe.

Now, the story…

His mind came back to the present, but with it was a pain in his heart. Haldir sighed and closed his eyes. He would never forget that day.

/Ecthelion, I do not know you. I have never met you. But how I hate you./

The dull ache throbbed in his heart.

/You hold my love's heart. And I want it. But I cannot have it. You took it with you when you died./

A soft breeze blew by, and Haldir shivered a little.

/Please, give it back./

The breeze grew stronger.

/So he can give it to someone…/

The leaves of the trees rustled.

/…like me./

"Haldir, are you alright?" Orophin asked, a little worried at Haldir's expression.

"I am fine." Haldir was amazed at how well his brothers could tell what he was feeling.

Rumil and Orophin looked at each other disbelievingly, but let the matter rest.

Again, Haldir's mind lingered on the memory of Glorfindel's declaration of love…to Ecthelion.

Glorfindel also refocused on the present. He could not afford to let his mind wander off too far.

/Ecthelion. He is the only one I love./ He reminded himself.

/Haldir./ Glorfindel looked at the faraway trees of the Golden Woods.

/He is a friend. A lover. That is all./

Glorfindel urged his mount faster.

/Then why am I so anxious to see him again?/

He closed his eyes and listened to the passing wind.

/Valar, why did you bring me back to this earth? You let Ecthelion die with me, yet you gave me back my life. Are you punishing me?/

He opened his eyes and raised them to the skies.

/And Haldir. Why is he in my life?/

There were no answers.

/Why did I meet him? Why did he become my lover? Why did he accept me?/

Glorfindel knew no answers were coming.

/Ecthelion. Haldir./

He returned his gaze to the sky.

/I cannot love again. I still love Ecthelion./

A bird flew by.

/So what do I feel for the March Warden? Why does he haunt my dreams? Why does he stay in my mind?/

There were so many questions he wanted to ask. But no answers came to mind. 

He did not need this. The One Ring has been found. That should be his primary concern.

But his heart won't let him be.

/It is Ecthelion I love./ he told himself firmly.

/…Forever./

"I see them!" Rumil cried out as the elves from Rivendell came into view. Haldir's mind snapped back to the present, his musings lost as he saw the approaching riders.

/Glorfindel./

A ghost of a smile lingered on his lips but vanished instantly as he resumed being the March Warden, and not an elf greeting his lover.

/You are here again./

The Galadhrim moved forward to meet the arriving party.

/Why is it that no matter how much you hurt me, I still feel happier than ever when you are here? With me?/

"Welcome to the Golden Woods. This way please. The Lady is expecting you."

/I love you so much./

Haldir and his team led the elves towards the Lady's meeting grounds. The other Galadhrim stayed behind and continued to patrol the borders. 

/Perhaps too much./

Haldir stole a glance at his lover. He let his gaze linger for the fleetest of moments, then looked away as if he never rested his eyes upon the other elf.

/Foolish heart./

Lady Galadriel sighed.

"I do not wish for him to suffer so." she told her husband.

"It is beyond your control, my love. He has made his choice. And he lives with it."

"Perhaps I should have warned him. I should not have asked him to escort Lord Glorfindel that night." she still felt that somehow it was her fault that this was happening..

"Love, you cannot change what has happened. I am sure there is a reason for this. The fates work in mysterious ways. Even if you had not been there, they would have found a way for this to happen. Now come, Lord Elrond and the others have arrived. There is a much graver business at hand."

Lady Galadriel sighed again.

"I know." /Oh Haldir. I am sorry that you suffer so, my child. Glorfindel, you stupid oaf!!/

Lord Celeborn raised a brow at his wife. He never knew her to curse. Or use the word oaf. But then again, Glorfindel was a stupid oaf. With that reaffirmation, he escorted his wife to meet the elves from Imladris.

The meeting was held in the Lady's home. There, seated around the table, were Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn, Lord Elrond, Glorfindel, Erestor, Elrohir, Elladan, and Gandalf the Grey. Standing guard were Haldir's team.

"So it is true. The One Ring has been found." Lady Galadriel spoke in a clear, gentle voice.

"Yes. It is in the possession of Bilbo Baggins." said Gandalf the Grey.

"Perhaps it is time you paid him a visit, Gandalf." Lord Elrond suggested.

"Aye. It is time." agreed the Istari.

The next few hours were spent discussing their next move. The ring was moving, and they knew that Sauron would sense it soon. They needed to move fast. They could not allow the evil lord to repossess the ring of power. Otherwise, middle earth would be doomed.

Tension was in the air when it was finally confirmed throughout Lothlorien that the rumors were true about the One Ring. The war has begun.

Haldir tried not to let his gaze rest on his lover. He knew that if he did, all thoughts on the impending doom would flee his mind and he would not be able to concentrate on anything but his love. He could not afford to do that. He had to keep his head on. But it was not an easy task.

Amidst the news of doom and other bad things, Rumil and Orophin amused themselves by watching their brother make an effort not to look at Glorfindel. They hid smiles everytime Haldir slipped and stole a glance. They mentally counted how many times their brother lost his battle within himself, so they could tease him later. Unknown to the three, Glorfindel watched them through veiled eyes, especially Haldir.

/Haldir./

Glorfindel continued to look at his lover. He noticed how the younger elf tried not to look at him. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw everytime Haldir glanced his way. Glorfindel frowned slightly.

/Haldir, what…?/

He wasn't sure if what he saw in Haldir's eyes were real. Then Haldir glanced again.

They were real.

/How could I have been so blind as to miss this?/

Glorfindel shifted his attention back to the meeting, still wearing a frown. But he was distracted to see Erestor watching him. His friend gave him a knowing smile.

/I am not the only one who sees it. Erestor saw it before me when it was I who should have realized it from the very beginning. He tried to tell me but I did not believe him./

Glorfindel smiled back and gave a slight nod of salute.

/Haldir, your emotions are so clear in your eyes. How could I have missed it?/

Erestor accepted the salute with an answering nod as if to say 'I told you so', which nearly made Glorfindel laugh out loud at his friend's show of arrogant victory. But his mind remained on his lover.

/If I had known this from the beginning, I would most likely have left you. I would have been angry. But not now. Not when the events twelve years ago is still fresh in my mind./

Glorfindel looked at Haldir again, this time catching the other elf's eyes as once again the other elf slipped his guard.

/You love me, March Warden./

Haldir gave him a faltering smile, blushing at having been caught staring. Glorfindel smiled back.

/Now that I know, I will hear you say it./

Haldir wearily dragged himself into his talan. The meeting had stretched on for hours. And the fact that he had been on continuous duty for three and a half weeks helped explain his condition. He closed his eyes as he entered the door.

/I am going to sleep for a month./

He closed the door behind him and leaned heavily against it. As was his seemingly unending habit, his mind drifted to his lover.

/Ah, Glorfindel./ He did not see where the eldar went after the meeting ended. He had seen him leave, but did not have the luxury of following.

/Probably in his quarters./

A smile appeared on his lips.

/Hmmm, I wonder what he'd do if I snuck into his rooms?/ 

But he knew he was too tired to accomplish such a feat. He had wanted to be with the older elf tonight. He missed him. But that was not to be.

He moved towards the bed and fell upon it. He closed his eyes and continued his fantasy.

/How would he react to finding the March Warden of Lothlorien naked in his bed?/ Haldir laughed at the idea.

/He'll probably scream bloody murder. Or be insulted. Or…something./

"What's so amusing?"

Haldir would have jumped off the bed if he had the strength. His eyes snapped open and he bolted to a sitting position.

Glorfindel sat on a chair across the bed, watching him with interest, and something else that Haldir could not name. The eldar smiled at his dumbfounded expression.

"How…when…?" Haldir did not finish the sentence as Glorfindel stood up and went to sit on the bed beside him.

"My, March Warden. You've grown careless. I could have killed you and you would not have known there was even an intruder in your talan."

Haldir had not sensed anyone was with him. He was too tired so his senses were dulled. Besides, he had no reason to be on guard in his own room. Never had he been attacked there.

"I…What are you doing here?" Haldir maintained his half-sitting position, supporting himself on his elbows.

"I came here to make love to you, Haldir of Lorien." With that, Glorfindel began to unlace Haldir's tunic. "Do you have any objections?"

Haldir swallowed and shook his head. Was he still having his fantasy? He reached a hand to touch Glorfindel's face and pull him into a kiss, but the older elf waved his hand away.

"You are too tired. This is for you. So let me do this my way." He gently pushed Haldir to a lying position. He ignored Haldir's puzzled expression.

Haldir was a little confused. Glorfindel has never done this before. What was the eldar up to?

Glorfindel let his gaze linger on Haldir's lips.

Yet still, he did not kiss the March Warden, but continued to discard their clothes. When both elves were naked, Glorfindel climbed atop Haldir and straddled the other elf's hips. Then he ran his hands across Haldir's chest. The younger elf moaned.

"Please…kiss me."

Glorfindel smiled. 

"Not yet."

He continued to run his hands all over the elf beneath him, as if trying to memorize every detail. He was careful not to miss anything. It was as if it were the first time he had seen Haldir. Truly seen him. Glorfindel smiled to himself. /Or maybe, I just deliberately closed my eyes to the truth before. I was a fool./

"You are so beautiful." He whispered to his younger lover. Only then did he lean forward to kiss Haldir.

The kiss was fierce. Desperate and full of lust. Tongues dueled in a battle for dominance. Both elves moaned. Glorfindel's hands continued to roam the other's body, even as Haldir caressed his lover's back.

"Wait." Glorfindel broke the kiss and Haldir moaned his protest.

The eldar smiled at him.

"I said this was for you. I mean it." He kissed his way down to Haldir's belly. He lingered there for a moment before moving lower.

"Glorfindel…" Haldir began to writhe. Hands moved to restrain his hips even as light kisses were bestowed upon his aching arousal. Then a warm mouth closed around him and Haldir threw his head back as pleasure overtook him. He bit back a scream, knowing that if he didn't, the entire Lothlorien would know what they were doing.

Glorfindel took Haldir deep into his mouth until his lover's entire length was enclosed. Then he slowly pulled back as if to release the younger elf, only to take him in again. He repeated the motion until the younger elf began to pant amidst his moans. Haldir felt himself near his climax.

He came hard, while deep in his lover's mouth. Glorfindel drank Haldir dry until there was nothing left. Only then did he make his way back to Haldir's mouth.

"Hmmm, like it?" he whispered into Haldir's ear.

"Yes." He breathed out harshly.

"Good. I have more plans for you." He smiled at Haldir's questioning expression. He parted Haldir's thighs and settled between them.

"We have only just began." 

Haldir grew hard again at the promise. Glorfindel smiled smugly to himself. Haldir wondered if he'll last the night.

Glorfindel held Haldir close to him. It was dawn and they had both just woken up after a scant few hours of sleep. Tired though they were, their minds were troubled too much to sleep for too long. It was time to face the world.

"Dark times have come, Haldir."

"I know." he answered. He also knew what it meant.

"I am leaving at dawn tomorrow. I do not know when we will be back. War is upon us, it seems." Glorfindel continued.

"Yes." Haldir whispered. /A war where anything can happen, and anyone can be lost./

The lovers held each other, lost in their thoughts, of impending war, and doom. Dark times were upon them. It may be the last time they will hold each other thusly. It may be the last time the other will feel his lover's heart beating in harmony with his own. Because during dark times, anyone can be lost.

"There is something I must tell you." Glorfindel began.

"What?"

Glorfindel closed his eyes. It was time. A few hours ago, while he and the other Rivendell elves were riding towards Lothlorien, he was still denying it. But during the meeting, as he watched Haldir standing there, he finally faced the truth. Erestor was right. It had been that day twelve years ago that made him realize the truth, though he would not admit it then. But now, he could no longer deny it. Ah, twelve years, it seemed like only yesterday. Glorfindel could still taste the fear and pain of that day.  It was a day that started out good, yet nearly ended in tragedy. It made him realize something he ought to have known from the beginning. Memories came back to the eldar of the day that changed his life, and his heart…

TBC

A/N: Interested still? I think you already know where this goes. But then again, is it really going there?

Thank you very much for the reviews. I decided to give them a little reprieve. You know, happy moments, considering the fact that middle earth is in a big hunk of trouble, and because I plan to make them go through very very very painful moments soon. Hehehe For now, they will have a break. PLS. REVIEW!!!!


	6. chapter 6

Disclaimer. If they were mine, there would be no disclaimers, I'd be filthy rich, and dead.

A/N: This chap has a very different tone. It's more happy than the others. I did say the day started out good. I am preparing for a major angsty event, not the one that happens in the next chappie. It is a little long way from coming, but my mind is already there. Besides, my mood is too happy to be able to write another angst chap. Call it a major mood swing. This is what Glorfindel has to live with.

Twelve years ago…yet only yesterday.

It was a beautiful day. Glorfindel smiled as he let the sun warm him, surround him. He exhaled slowly.

"Morning." Erestor greeted his friend as he joined him in the balcony. 

Glorfindel did not bother looking at Erestor. Instead, he let his gaze scan the horizon.

"Good morning, Erestor. It is such a beautiful day, is it not?"

"You are not just saying that because a certain someone is arriving today, right?" Erestor continued to tease him about Haldir, even though he had already cleared the nature of his relationship with the Lorien elf to his longtime friend. But Erestor stubbornly refused to believe that their relationship was based on pure lust. Elrond's adviser had seen the seneschal and the March Warden together. He knew there was something else, even if the two were too foolish to see it.

"If you are referring to Haldir, no. The day is truly beautiful But I will not deny that I am glad he is visiting, so I can have someone to warm my bed tonight." Glorfindel answered. He was trying to make it sound like he did not care that Haldir was there while also admitting to it. But he did not realize the impact of his words.

Erestor shook his head. "First, you deny you feel anything for him other than lust. Now you reduce him to the statute of a whore?"

Glorfindel was taken aback at his friends blunt statement. He had not meant to make Haldir out as…that. He would never do that! Haldir was far more than that. He was…he was…

"Of course not! No! Haldir is NOT a whore! Don't you ever call him that again." He had advanced towards his friend, ready to strangle him for even suggesting the idea.

"Calm down, Glorfindel. Of course I am not saying that he's a whore. YOU were the one who made it sound like that."

Glorfindel's anger was pacified at that. He stopped.

Erestor was right. It was he who had described Haldir in that demeaning manner. He had not meant to. He would never think of Haldir like that. 

"I…I am sorry. I did not know what came over me. You are right. It is I who should be chastised."

Erestor sighed. "Do not be too hard on yourself. You are in denial. It happens." His friend gave him a sheepish grin.

"Denial?" Glorfindel was not sure what his friend was getting at.

"You are denying that you are in love with him. So, to cover it up, you pretend that you don't. To do that, you reduce him as much as possible into anything other than what he really is to you – your love, your life, your whole world…" Erestor began making gestures, and he made his voice sound overly dramatic even as he clutched Glorfindel's robes in mock drama. "But you cannot admit it. No…"

Glorfindel rolled his eyes at his friend's ridiculous ideas.

"I am not in love with him."

Erestor released him. "Of course not. If you had said you were, you would not be in denial."

"I AM NOT!!!"

"Glorfindel, really, not too loud. You'll wake everyone in Rivendell. Shush."

With an irritated groan, the blond elf gathered his robes and left his smiling friend in the balcony.

He was NOT in love with the Lorien elf.

Glorfindel stalked away, still mentally chastising Erestor and his ridiculous ideas. He was about to go to his rooms when Lord Elrond met him in the hallway.

"Good morning. Glorfindel."

He mumbled a reply.

"Erestor annoying you again?"

Another grumble.

"I see. Try not to kill him. I need him as an adviser."

Glorfindel excused himself, still mumbling to himself. "Oh but you need him more than that, my lord" he was saying even as he walked away. "You need him more than anyone. If only you'd see it. Hah, I am not the only one in denial!" Glorfindel stopped, closed his eyes, and took a deep calming breath. "I am not the one in denial. Not the one. That's what I meant to say. Not the one." /I am going to kill you, Erestor./

Breakfast was a rather quiet affair. Glorfindel refused to speak to Erestor. The twins looked at the three older elves. Something was going on.

"Ada, we will be out patrolling today, if you need us." Elladan broke the silence as he was beginning to feel uncomfortable.

"Very well. How about you, Glorfindel? I know you are off-duty, but in case you suddenly change your mind…" Lord Elrond let his sentence hang in the air, but was not expecting Erestor to take the bait.

"…seeing as we have special guests arriving…" his adviser continued.

"More special to you than to any of us, really." Elrohir joined in.

"…since we know how close you are to one of the elves…" Elladan added.

"…a certain blonde elf…"

Do elven eyes twitch? Glorfindel's were beginning to. His eyes narrowed.

"…from Lorien…"

"Yeah, March Warden…"

"Yes, the March Warden…Haldir, right?"

"Right! Him, he and Glorfindel are very close…"

"Very, very close…"

"Especially behind closed doors…"

"Without clothes…"

"Enough!" Lord Elrond decided to interfere before his seneschal murdered his twin sons and his adviser on the spot. "You three, stop teasing."

Only one elf was not amused.

"But, Glorfindel, should you…realize that there is a…special elf in the arriving party, you have my permission to lead the welcome party." Lord Elrond said, which elicited several grins from the other elves in the table.

Glorfindel closed his eyes. Even Elrond was teasing him already.

"Thank you, my lord. I will remember that." He decided against any other form of retort, as he will be against four elves who seemed to have made it a point to tease him every breakfast.

Glorfindel sat atop his horse, trying to ignore Elladan and Elrohir who were snickering behind him. He was only out here, meeting the Lorien elves because Lord Elrond had asked him to. Not directly, but it was obvious that he wanted Glorfindel to lead the welcome party. That's why he was here. He was a mere seneschal. He could not go against his lord. It has nothing to do with the fact that his lover was among the arriving elves. Dammit.

"Will you two be quiet?" he told the twins, his annoyance finally getting the better of him. Instead of doing as he asked, the twins burst into all out laughter.

Glorfindel sighed. This was going nowhere. He may as well give up before he'd make it worse.

Suddenly, they heard shouts from the horizon. They were from the outside boarder patrol.

Glorfindel and the twins spurned their mounts forward.

"What is it?" Glorfindel demanded the first member of the patrol he met.

"Orcs. Attacked, near the boarder." The elf was injured and could only breath out a few words.

"The Lorien elves?" Elladan inquired.

"They were trapped. We tried to help, but there were too many." The elf sagged as his injuries drained his energy. But Glorfindel needed no more information. 

After leaving instructions to one of his elves to go alert Rivendell, he directed his team towards the attacked area.

Glorfindel rode hard and fast. Fear gripped his heart. In that moment, he forgot that he did not care for Haldir. He forgot that they only lusted for each other. 

/Haldir. I am coming. Please, be safe./

He forced his horse to go even faster.

/Please, be alive./

He knew that Haldir was a great warrior, but still…

/Valar, do not take him away from me./

He prayed they were not too late.

TBC

A/N: PLS REVIEW!!! Is the mood shift okay? Thankies!!!


	7. chapter 7

Disclaimer: Not mine. Tolkien's. 

A/N: So sorry for the long delay. I had a terrible case of writer's block. I just realized I am definitely BAD at writing action scenes. My God! That small scene took three days, and I am still not satisfied. This chappie isn't all that good, I know. I don't like several parts of it either. Please send me feedback. I have a feeling you are going to murder me for this one. So sorry.

Thank you for your reviews of the previews chappie. Most of you liked the mood shift, but a few didn't agree with it. I was on perpetual sugar high that day.

Also, thank you for the reviewer who looked up Ecthelion. There is an elf Ecthe!!! WOOHOO! Thanks. By the way, the friend whose writing the Ecthe Glory story recommended a great fanfic with a similar pairing (SORT OF). It's Runedancer's Wild Justice. Go read it. It's sorta Ecthe Glory, but presented as Glory Elrohir. But check it out. It's cool. A little naughty, though. No wait, it's very naughty.

Haldir shot arrow after arrow at the horde of orcs running towards him, swords raised. Yet they did not seem to diminish in number. They kept coming. 

An orc drew out a sword and took a swing at Haldir. He ducked the blow, dropped his bow and grabbed his short knife, striking down the vile creature with it. Another came at him, which he beheaded with ease. Yet another came. No matter how many he killed, the orcs did not stop coming. They were everywhere. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw his fellow elves fighting fiercely.

"RUMIL!!!" 

He saw his younger brother fighting a very large orc, while another advanced from behind that the other elf was not able to notice. Acting quickly, Haldir dropped his knives and picked up the discarded bow at his feet. He took an arrow from his quiver, knocked it, took aim and killed the orc that was about to kill his brother. A roar from behind made him turn, only to see another of the creatures wielding a sword, charging towards him. He killed it with an arrow to the throat. More orcs came to attack him. Once again, he dropped his bow for his knife and continued killing their attackers.

Blood spilled onto his clothes and hair as the dark creatures fell at his feet. But there were so many of them.

Vaguely, he wondered if they could survive this. Would help arrive in time?

Haldir fell to his knees as an orc arrow embedded itself on his leg. Before he could react, another struck him on the shoulder, and another still hit him on the chest.

Lying on the ground, the sounds of the battle became louder, as if they were magnified tenfold. Everything seemed to be in slow motion. He saw Orophin fighting, screaming something to Rumil. He watched as Rumil stabbed an orc, then began to move towards his fallen brother. Orophin also made his way to Haldir. He wanted to tell them he was fine, assure them somehow. But he could not move. It was as if he had lost control of his body and he could only watch. He felt the world closing in on him as blood seeped out of him, staining his clothes and pooling onto the ground where he laid.

Before he lost consciousness, he heard his name being called, as if from afar. He slowly turned his head to the sound. Just as his eyes closed, he thought he saw his lover running towards him. He smiled.

/Glorfindel. At least I saw you one last time./

/I love you./

Then everything went dark.

For a second, Glorfindel's heart stopped beating. He had reached the clearing and could see the battle. He saw an orc aim an arrow at Haldir and fire. His lover fell as he was hit. Fear gripped the seneschal's heart.

"HALDIR!!" The cry was torn from his chest.

An orc swung at his horse. The animal bucked to avoid the blow, but in the process threw his rider onto the ground. Glorfindel stood up, drew his sword and killed the orc before running to where his lover laid on the ground.

/NO!!!!/

Glorfindel killed the orcs that got in his way, not really seeing them. His only thought was to get to Haldir.

/I am here!! I cannot be too late! I am here!/

He reached the younger elf just as Rumil and Orophin were able to get to their brother. Rumil knelt down to check Haldir's pulse. He found it weak, but still there.

"He's still with us."

Rumil stood and joined his brother and Glorfindel. They formed a protective circle around Haldir and fought off the orcs that came.

/He cannot be dead. Please…/

They fought fiercely, all praying that more help would come soon.

Elladan, Elrohir and the other elves battled the vile creatures as well. But they were still outnumbered.

After what seemed like an eternity, but in reality just a few minutes, more Rivendell elves came towards the clearing. Soon, the orcs were outnumbered and began to retreat. It took a few moments to remove them from the clearing entirely. Only a scant few of the creatures escaped as the Rivendell elves chased after them, taking down those that they could.

Glorfindel sheathed his blood-covered sword and turned his attention to his lover's prone form. He gently picked up the younger elf, Rumil and Orophin letting him. They knew that it would take an army to stop Glorfindel, much as they wanted to take care of their brother themselves. They trailed behind the seneschal as he strode forward.

"Elladan, I need your horse! Now!" ordered Glorfindel. Elladan did not need to be told twice. He got off and let Glorfindel mount, together with Haldir. Wasting no time, Glorfindel rode towards Imladris, silently praying to the Valar to save Haldir.

/Please…/

/Hold on, love. We are almost there. Please, stay with me./

Lord Elrond waited for them in the front area of the house. He had known there would be injuries so he had prepared. Erestor stood by his side.

Glorfindel nearly ran them down in his haste. He quickly jumped off the horse as soon as it stopped. Gently, he let Haldir slide into his arms. 

Erestor helped him get Haldir to a bed, Lord Elrond trailing behind. Glorfindel stepped back, allowing the Peredhel healer to help Haldir.

"Come. Sit down." Erestor told his friend. Glorfindel looked about ready to faint. His eyes stayed glued to Haldir, even as tears began to form.

"I cannot lose him, Erestor. I cannot." He whispered, despair and fear evident in his voice.

"You won't, my friend. Lord Elrond can help him. You need to sit down. You do not look too well." Erestor assured as he pulled Glorfindel outside. They would only be in the way. There were enough servants in the room to help the lord. Right now, Glorfindel needed help.

Glorfindel let Erestor pull him outside. Though he wanted to stay, some reason was still left in his mind. He knew Lord Elrond would help Haldir, and he'd only be a disturbance if he stayed. 

"Here, sit. He'll be fine." Erestor prayed his words were right. His friend looked like he was near death himself. He could not bear to think what would happen should the March Warden die.

"Yes. He'll be fine. Just fine." Glorfindel repeated softly.

/He'll be alright./

He sat there, staring at the door.

/He'll be fine./

"Are you hurt, Glorfindel?" Erestor had to make sure he was not sitting idly while his friend was bleeding or something worse.

"No." was the whispered reply.

/He'll live…Valar, please let him live. I cannot…cannot…I…I…love…/

Glorfindel stopped. He closed his eyes and tried to calm himself.

/No. I do not love him! No. This is just shock. I care for him, but I do not love him. I love Ecthelion. I care for Haldir, that is why I am worried. That's all./

But his heart told him something else. Yet he would not listen. He did not want to.

/I cannot afford to./

"Are you sure?" Erestor asked again.

"Yes."

/Do not die. Please don't./

Silence fell. Glorfindel continued to pray.

Rumil, Orophin, Elladan and Elrohir came running towards the two figures sitting on the bench outside the room where Haldir was. 

"Is he alright. Tell us. Is he…?" Orophin asked.

It was Erestor who answered.

"Lord Elrond is with him. He is being treated. We are not sure yet…"

"He'll be fine!" Glorfindel snapped.

All eyes turned to him.

Erestor and the younger elves looked at each other, understanding evident in their eyes.

"Of course. That's what I meant." Erestor whispered.

The four elves joined them and soon, everyone sat in silence, waiting.

Lord Elrond sighed as he slumped against the chair near the bed. He had used his too much of his healing powers and he had exhausted himself. But it was worth it. He sighed.

"Please inform Lord Glorfindel and the others that the March Warden will be fine." He told a servant.

"Aye, my lord."

The dark-haired elf closed his eyes, thanking the Valar for letting the younger elf live.

The six elves waiting outside stood up as the door to Haldir's room opened.

"Well?" Elladan asked impatiently.

"The Lorien elf will be fine, my lords."

Glorfindel nearly sagged in relief. Everyone else closed their eyes and sighed. 

"He is resting. Lord Elrond is still with him."

The six elves entered the room, Glorfindel leading the group. They saw the twins' father sitting on a chair beside the bed.

"He is resting." Lord Elrond whispered to them.

Glorfindel went to sit beside Haldir. He took the March Warden's hand in his as he gazed at the pale face. Elladan and Elrohir exchanged looks with Rumil and Orophin. They nodded in understanding. After Haldir's brothers reassured themselves that their brother was fine, they left the room, together with the twins. Erestor saw the exchanged glances and understood. The two needed time alone, for Glorfindel's peace of mind. 

The seneschal missed the silent communication that occurred in the room. Not only that, he missed Lord Elrond mutely asking assistance from Erestor, who nodded. He missed it when his friend went and lifted the lord into his arms. He did not see how Lord Elrond gave Erestor an indignant look. He was not aware that the Peredhel elf was about to protest to the adviser's actions, or when Erestor cut him off, and addressed Glorfindel.

"Stay with Haldir for awhile. We'll send someone to relieve you later." The adviser said as he walked towards the door with the lord of Imladris in his arms.

Glorfindel would have teased the two relentlessly had he seen. His belief that there was something between his friend and his lord would have been reassured, and he would have been delighted. But in that moment, Glorfindel's attention laid fully on the elf sleeping on the bed, who looked as pale as death. So he did not bother to look at them, or even reply. He continued to hold Haldir's hand.

Haldir was drifting. He felt himself floating, as if he was flying. A soft breeze caressed his face. Slowly, he opened his eyes, not sure of what he would see. 

Everything was white. He did not know where he was. Everything he saw was the color of the clouds.

The last thing he remembered was falling unconscious, hearing Glorfindel shout his name. He remembered fighting orcs in a battle. Where was he now?

/Am I dead? Is this what Mandos Halls look like?/ Again, he looked around. Everything was still white.

Suddenly, the surroundings changed. Colors burst everywhere. Haldir looked around frantically, not sure of what was happening. When the colors stopped moving, he was standing in the middle of a meadow. He looked around. Grass, flowers, trees surrounded him. He looked up at the blue sky. Only a few clouds could be seen.

/Where am I?/

A wild horse neighed in the distance. It was beautiful. Chestnut colored, it held its head high, proud. Haldir watched as it ran away into the horizon.

It was as his eyes followed the majestic horse that he caught a movement. It was an elf.

Glorfindel.

Haldir stared, mesmerized. 

Glorfindel smiled at him, then began to come closer. The younger elf was rooted to the spot. He could not move, could not breathe. The elf coming towards him was breathtaking. Glorfindel's hair, loose, unmarred even by braids, glistened in the sun. A few strands blew across his face as he moved closer to the March Warden. He was not wearing a tunic, only simple mocha-colored breeches, so his skin, achingly soft, was exposed to Haldir's gaze. He gracefully walked towards the other elf.

Haldir swallowed when his lover stopped just inches from him. The older elf raised his hand and gingerly touched his lover. Softly, he caressed the March Warden's face. Haldir sighed with pleasure and pressed closer.

Glorfindel then cupped his face. Slowly, the eldar dipped his head to kiss the younger elf.

Haldir moaned as their lips touched. He raised his hands and placed them against his lover's bare chest. Gently, he pushed his lover until they were both lying on the grass. He then proceeded to remove his lover's breeches, the only clothing the eldar wore. He felt Glorfindel smile against his lips.

"Impatient, meldir?" the older elf whispered.

"Yes." Haldir growled. "I want you." He successfully unlaced the breeches and hurriedly removed the offending garment.

"You have me."

His lover's whispered words made Haldir unbearably hard. He swallowed as the ache in his groin increased.

He went back to kissing the blond eldar. He hungrily devoured the other's mouth even as he tried to get rid of his own clothes. He threw his tunic off, and moved his hands to his breeches. But Glorfindel's hands were already there, unlacing them. Soon, they were both naked.

Glorfindel made a deft movement and rolled, reversing their positions. Haldir stared up at his lover.

"I want to pleasure you, love." The eldar explained. He then proceeded to kiss Haldir's neck. He nibbled and nipped, then moved to the younger elf's chest. Haldir moaned with every tender bite. When Glorfindel dipped his tongue into his navel, the March Warden's back arched and a moan escaped his lips.

"Glorfindel…"

The eldar continued lower. Then he paused, just above his lover's arousal. Haldir groaned his disappointment. He opened his eyes and looked down.

When their eyes met, Glorfindel smiled up at him. Only then did he take Haldir's length into his mouth, never breaking eye contact.

Haldir's breath hitched. He gripped the grass that he could reach, and stopped breathing altogether. When he was completely surrounded by his lover's mouth, Haldir's head fell back and his eyes closed.

Glorfindel released his lover's arousal, then moved to straddle him.

Haldir's dazed eyes opened and he looked questioningly at the eldar. But before he could ask, Glorfindel was kissing him even as the eldar slowly moved to impale himself upon his lover. Haldir's eyes widened as he slowly penetrated his lover's tight sheath. His hands moved to Glorfindel's hips, holding the elf in place. But the elf on top would not be stopped.

Slowly, the eldar took him in.

The pleasure was almost unbearable to the March Warden.

"Glor…fin…del…" he moaned.

Glorfindel closed his eyes only when Haldir was buried deep inside him, as deep as possible. He released a ragged breath.

"Ahhh…meldir." He whispered.

They savored the feeling for a few moments. Then Glorfindel began to move, slowly, and Haldir's hips began to respond to the rhythm. Soon, they were panting hard as they tried to prolong the experience as much as they could.

But even elves had limits. The pace grew quicker. Haldir thrust into his lover harder and faster. Glorfindel pushed down as hard as he could. Their movement increased into a frenzied pace, until both reached climax. They came together, and Glorfindel fell upon Haldir in exhaustion.

"I love you." Haldir whispered, his breathing still ragged, and his member still inside Glorfindel.

He felt the eldar smile against his chest.

"I love you, too" his lover whispered, "…Ecthelion."

Haldir stiffened when he heard the name. 

"What…?"

Before he could finish the sentence, Glorfindel had moved and grabbed both of his hands, pinning them beside his head on the ground. He held them down forcefully.

"Ecthelion. You heard right March Warden. I love Ecthelion. Not you. Never will it be you!" the eldar told him angrily.

Haldir felt a pain like no other. He began to struggle. But his lover's hold on him was strong. 

Glorfindel raised himself on his knees. Then he wedged one of them between Haldir's thighs, roughly spreading the younger elf's legs.

"This is the only thing you are good at!" He pushed forward, thrusting inside the struggling March Warden.

Haldir almost screamed. The forceful entry burned. He did not know what was going on. Why was Glorfindel hurting him like this?

"Stop. Please."

But the eldar did not heed him. He continued to thrust into him, harder, as if he was not satisfied with Haldir's pleas.

"This is the only reason I stay with you, whore. My whore."

Haldir closed his eyes as tears began to roll down the sides of his face.

"Please…Stop! Stop!"

To his horror, he felt pleasure coursing through him as his lover entered him. He had not even realized he was aroused.

"See that? Your body likes what I do to you, even when forced!"

"No." he cried out pitifully.

"Yes." Glorfindel ground out, still thrusting. "Oh yes."

Though he fought it, Haldir could not help it when his hips began to meet his lover's relentless thrusts. Shame coursed through him, but he could not stop how his body responded to his lover.

He saw Glorfindel smile.

"Do you still want me to stop, Haldir?"

The younger elf could not reply. A choked sob escaped him.

"DO YOU?"

He heard the question. Glorfindel demanded an answer.

"NO!" Haldir shamefully cried out, his hips thrusting upwards.

The eldar increased his thrusts, a triumphant smile on his face.

Through the roar in his ears as he came, Haldir heard his lover scream a word as Glorfindel spent himself inside him.

"WHORE!" 

"WAKE UP, HALDIR! Please, wake up!"

Haldir bolted upright in bed. A wave of dizziness assailed him and he was forced to lie down again. But the ache in his heart did not stop. He began to feel the pain of his injuries, but they were nothing compared to the one in his heart. Tears fell down the sides of his face.

Gentle hands wiped the tears away.

"It's alright. It was just a dream. You are safe now." A gentle voice crooned in his ear. He opened his eyes again.

Glorfindel sat on the bed beside him, gently caressing his face.

"Welcome back, meldir." His lover whispered.

Haldir cringed at the endearment, remembering his dream.

"Where does it hurt, meldir? Do you want me to get Lord Elrond?" Glorfindel was concerned when Haldir drew back, as if he was whipped.

"No." Haldir whispered.

/The pain is in my heart. And it is not Lord Elrond who can cure that./

"Is there anything I could get you then?" the eldar asked.

"No. Just…just stay." Halidr did not know why he needed the eldar so much.

/I just dreamed about him hurting me, yet here I am, asking him to stay./

"Of course." Glorfindel had no intention of leaving. In the three days that Haldir was unconscious, he only left when absolutely necessary.

It warmed his heart that the younger elf asked him to stay.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked Haldir.

"About what?" the younger elf looked at him curiously.

"Your dream. It seemed bad. Was it the orcs?" Glorfindel reached up and stroked Haldir's forehead.

The March Warden closed his eyes, a bitter smile appearing on his lips.

/Far worse than any orc./

"I don't remember." He lied.

"I see. Well, not to worry, I won't let anyone hurt you again." The eldar meant every word.

/Not even you?/ Haldir thought.

/You don't even know it, but you are the one who has caused me the most pain in my entire life./

/Yet I love you still./

/What is wrong with me?/

Haldir reached up to caress Glorfindel's face.

/You don't even know you hurt me./

The older elf smiled at him, then leaned down to kiss him. The younger elf closed his eyes as their lips met.

/I love you./

Glorfindel gathered Haldir in his arms as the younger elf drifted off to sleep once again. He held the other elf close, never wanting to let go.

/You are safe now./

Glorfindel placed a light kiss on Haldir's forehead.

/Rest. I will look after you./

Then, even he was deep in reverie.

TBC

A/N: There were actually two versions of this part, but I hated the other one. This chapter, I am not so satisfied with, but the writer's block is blocking me. So Sorry. Please point out everything you hate. And those you like. Thank you.

THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING!


	8. chapter 8

Disclaimer: Tolkien's.

A/N: So, so, so sorry for the long delay. My bro went to japan and took my laptop with him and I had the chapters stored here and I forgot to copy them so I had to wait till he got back. Oh well. Here goes nothing. Hope u forgive me. This is an extra long chappie. The next one is also finished but I'm still deciding what to do. Okay? Please review. Thank you.

Glorfindel watched Haldir converse with Rumil and Orophin, reassuring them that he was alright. The March Warden was on the bed in a reclining position, his back resting on the headboard. His brothers sat beside him. The eldar stood near the door, a little far from the bed, giving the brothers privacy, yet not having to leave the room. As he looked at his lover, Glorfindel looked back on the past events, ever since he was assured that his lover was well. Haldir was out of danger. That was for sure. The younger elf had grown stronger everyday, and it was clear that any effects of the attack had begun to fade, both physically and mentally. Yet something was wrong. Ever since Haldir regained consciousness, he had acted…distant somehow, save for the time when he had asked the eldar to hold him that day. After that, the younger elf seemed uneasy around him. It was not that Haldir cringed from him. It was more the fact that the March Warden's actions were different from what the seneschal was used to whenever they were together. Usually, Haldir liked to caress his face, or hold his hand, or run fingers through the eldar's hair. But now, even when they were alone, Haldir did none of those things. Glorfindel missed those small gestures. He never noticed them before, but now that Haldir ceased doing them, the eldar felt he had lost something. He wanted it back. But he did not know why Haldir changed. Perhaps it was something he had done? Or maybe the orc attack still lingered in the younger elf's mind? But Glorfindel could not see how the attack could have caused the change.

Glorfindel sighed. His head ached from all the thinking. He had spent most of the past days worrying whether Haldir would recover or not. Now he spent them thinking of possible reasons why Haldir's attitude towards him suddenly changed.

/Maybe he is tired of me?/

Glorfindel froze at the thought. He felt a sudden pain in the region where his heart was. He looked at his lover, who was still conversing with his brothers.

/Could it be? Has the experience made him realize something…that what we have is…not worthkeeping? Empty?/ For some reason, the eldar hurt at the thought. Glorfindel shook his head, trying to clear his mind.

/I am overreacting./

He looked at Haldir again.

/Bt what if I am right? What if he is trying to find a good way to tell me that he wants to end our relationship?/

Glorfindel swallowed. He steeled himself against the pain he was feeling.

/Then I will let him go./

It was the only thing he could do.

/I have to./

He cannot hold the March Warden back if the other wanted to leave.

/This was inevitable. It was a long time coming. A relationship based on lust cannot last./

/So why can't I imagine letting him go?/

"You wear your heart on your sleeve, do you know that?" A voice near his ear whispered and he nearly jumped. Lost in his thoughts, Glorfindel did not hear Erestor creep up behind him. He looked at his friend and tried to salvage his composure, which was shaken at him being caught off-guard. He slipped his unemotional mask back into place, but it was too late. And knowing Erestor, it was far too late. But still…

"Erestor. I should have known."

His friend grinned. "I see you are still in denial. Glorfindel, what will it take to wake you up? A hit in the head maybe?"

The blond eldar rolled his eyes. "I do not know what you mean, mellon nin."

"Of course you don't. The same way you do not love our dear March Warden of Lothlorien." Erestor whispered to him before moving closer to the bed to check on his friend's love.

Haldir could feel Glorfindel's eyes watching him as he spoke to his brothers. His heart warmed that the eldar cared so much to stay, but he stopped the growing feelings. After he had woken up from his nightmare, he had asked Glorfindel to hold him when he slept again. He had another nightmare, similar to the first one, with Glorfindel reminding him over and over that the eldar would never love him. After the second nightmare, Haldir had distanced himself from his lover. Maybe it was a sign from the Valar that what they had was wrong, and that he really would never feel what it was like to be loved by the beautiful seneschal. It pained him, but he put some distance between them. This way, should his dreams come true, he would not be hurt too badly. 

Haldir swallowed a bitter laugh that rose from inside him. Not be hurt? Too late for that. He knew the moment Glorfindel would tell him to leave, he would die of grief.

"Haldir? Are you listening?" Rumil had a worried look on his face at his injured brother's pained expression.

"What hurts, Haldir? Do you want us to call Lord Elrond?" Orophin asked, equally worried.

Haldir shook his head.

"I am fine. It was just a bad memory."

Orophin looked at him with an unreadable expression in his eyes.

"Maybe we are tiring you." Rumil said.

"No. I have been resting for far too long. Don't leave. I need people to talk to or else I would go mad." Haldir reassured his brother.

"Are you sure?" his youngest brother asked again.

"Quite sure. Stop worrying, Rumil. I am fine." Even as he said it, he could not meet Orophin's gaze. His older brother knew something else was wrong. But he said nothing.

Haldir looked up as Erestor came near the bed. He had seen the adviser whispering something to Glorfindel before coming close. Whatever it was, it seemed to have upset Glorfindel.

Haldir was not jealous of Erestor and Glorfindel's closeness. He knew they were great friends. But he could not help but wonder what Erestor had said to upset the seneschal. Yet he could not ask.

"Ah, Haldir. How do you fare?" the adviser asked him.

"I feel fine, my lord. I wish to express my gratitude to Lord Elrond for helping me…"

Erestor waved his hand, as if dismissing Haldir's words.

"Your brothers have thanked him enough. I believe if he hears another word of gratitude he is going to go up the wall."

Rumil and Orophin grinned. They had been thanking the lord too much. Everytime they see him, they would profusely express their gratitude. They also began to do him favors even when he did not ask. They had helped patrol the borders. They also volunteered to fix his office. They also helped in making more arrows and several other weapons. Lord Elrond had insisted that there was no need, but they continued to do small things. Not to mention their constant thanking of the Lord of Imladris. They had to admit it was beginning to become annoying.

Haldir looked at his brothers' smiling faces. He sighed. His brothers even managed to annoy the Lord of Imladris.

"I see. But I still need to thank him personally. Even just once."

"Of course." Erestor agreed. "But not now. You still need to rest for one or two more days."

Haldir stifled a groan. He was still confined, and it was beginning to suffocate him.

Erestor smiled as he saw Haldir's reaction. 

"You can take a walk in the gardens if you wish. Rest does not mean staying in bed. It just means no work..." He reassured the March Warden.

Glorfindel came nearer, having calmed his thoughts after his friend's teasing. Erestor turned to glance at the approaching blond, then continued addressing Haldir.

"…and certain kinds of play." The adviser added with a wicked grin. Rumil and Orophin tried not to laugh. Glorfindel forced himself not to throttle Erestor. Haldir tried not to blush.

"Maybe we could assist you to the gardens after lunch." Orophin offered after the silence that followed Erestor's teasing. Haldir needed fresh air.

Haldir breathed in the air. He sighed. It felt good to finally get out of his rooms. He had eaten his lunch in a hurry so that he could come to the gardens. His brothers had promised to accompany him. But it was not Orophin and Rumil who brought him there. It was Glorfindel. He wanted to protest when the eldar offered, but Glorfindel gave him a strange look, one that seemed pained, and Haldir's refusal got stuck in his throat.

Now, they were alone, sitting on the grass under a tall beech tree. Neither had said anything since they got to the gardens. The silence was unnerving the March Warden. He and Glorfindel were never this quiet. It was an uncomfortable silence. The air was tense.

"Haldir, do you wish to leave me?" Glorfindel asked in a tone so soft the younger elf almost didn't hear it. Haldir turned to look at his lover, shock clear on his face. Glorfindel's face, on the other hand, was devoid of emotion. Haldir stared at the eldar's eyes. They were cold. The March Warden swallowed a lump that prevented him from speaking.

"What?"

"I am asking if you wish to leave me." Glorfindel found it difficult to speak. He was dreading his lover's answer. As soon as the question was out of his mouth, he wished he never spoke them. He was not sure if he was ready to accept if Haldir answered in the affirmative.

When he saw the shock on Haldir's face, he felt an unexpected surge of happiness. Maybe his lover would not leave him after all.

"What makes you say that? Or is that your way of telling me you wish to end our relationship?" Haldir bit back the sudden tears that pricked the back of his eyes.

Glorfindel almost smiled with relief. But he saw the pain in his lover's eyes. He moved closer to the March Warden and cupped the other's face.

"I do not want this to end."

"Then why…"

Glorfindel silenced Haldir with a kiss. Then he broke it so he could explain.

"You just seemed so distant. I thought that maybe after your ordeal, you realized that you no longer wanted this." Glorfindel did not remove his hand from Haldir's cheeks.

"I still want this."

/I want this forever. And more./

Haldir finally met his lover's gaze. He reached up to tuck a lock of golden hair behind the eldar's ear.

"Then why have you been so far away?" Glorfindel made sure his voice did not betray the pain he felt at the other elf's previous actions.

Haldir took a deep breath and pulled away. How could he explain?

"Haldir?" Glorfindel would not let the younger elf push him away. "What is wrong?"

"It's nothing." The March Warden replied, still trying to pull away. The eldar gathered the other in his arms, pulling them close to each other. He was not going to let Haldir go.

"Tell me."

Haldir hesitated, wishing Glorfindel would leave this alone. But he knew the older elf would not stop asking until he gave in.

"It's just a silly dream." He tried to keep the pain from his voice, but he was not completely successful.

The eldar frowned as he heard the hurt in his lover's voice.

"The orcs?" But that did not make sense.

"No. It's something more…personal." Haldir closed his eyes. He did not know if he would be able to tell his lover about his dreams.

"What do you mean?" 

"I've been having dreams where…well…I know it's not real. You would never…it just…It felt…" The March Warden was having a difficult time getting it out.

Glorfindel took hold of his lover's chin, forcing their eyes to meet. He was worried. What did Haldir dream about? It was something about them. What would make the younger elf distance himself?

"I would never what? Haldir, please."

Haldir closed his eyes, shocked when he felt tears forming.

"Haldir" he heard Glorfindel whisper. He took a deep breath.

"In the dream, we make love. And when we finish, I'd hold you. Then everything would change. And you…you'd…f-force yourself on me. And it hurt…And then you…you'd…call me a …a…wh-whore while you…took me." Haldir bowed his head, not wanting to see the expression on his lover's face. He was not sure how the eldar would take this.

Glorfindel could not move, could not speak. He stared at Haldir in disbelief. 

"I know you would never do that, Glorfindel. It's just, sometimes it feels real. Even after I've woken up, I still feel the pain. That's why I stayed away. I..I did not know how to face you."

"I…I don't know what to say." The eldar whispered.

"You don't have to say anything. It's not really your fault I have those dreams." The younger elf reassured.

But Glorfindel could not help wondering if he really was not at fault. Maybe he had treated his lover badly. Why else would Haldir have such dreams?

"Haldir, do I make you feel like a…a…" He could not say it.

Haldir suddenly looked up. He unconsciously gripped Glorfindel's hands in his.

"No! No, Glorfindel, I don't feel like that. Not at all." He even shook his head as if to emphasize.

The eldar sighed his relief. 

"Then why?"

"I don't know. Maybe my mind is just confused. Or something. Dreams are not always real."

"I will never think of you like that, Haldir."

"I know."

"I…care for you."

Haldir smiled. Care. Why did that hurt him? 

/Because I want something more. But care will probably be the only thing I will get. I will have to get used to it, I suppose. It's better than nothing./

"Don't worry, Glorfindel. I do not think there's anything to my dreams."

/Except maybe the part where you declare your love for Ecthelion./ Haldir pushed the painful thought away. He was with Glorfindel right now. For the moment, that was the only thing that mattered. Haldir knew that someday, this would end. He was going to savor every moment he could, while he still owned, no, still had the eldar with him.

Glorfindel gathered the younger elf closer. He tucked Haldir's head under his chin.

"I am sorry if at any time I have made you feel like that." The eldar still could not believe that his lover had such dreams.

/What am I doing to you?/

Haldir shifted.

"It's alright, Glorfindel. You don't make me feel like that." Silence fell once again. But this time, the tense air was gone.

The younger elf began to play with the laces of the eldar's tunic.

"Glorfindel?" Haldir hesitantly asked.

"Yes?"

Haldir moved a little closer, burying his face against the eldar's chest.

"May I ask you a favor?"

Glorfindel frowned at Haldir's strange behavior. The younger elf was acting…shy?

"Anything."

Haldir closed his eyes. Could he really do this?

"Make love to me." The words were out before the March Warden could change his mind.

Glorfindel felt himself grow erect at his lover's bold request. Haldir buried his face deeper against the eldar's chest, hiding as he blushed a deep shade of crimson.

"Er…I would, but you are not well enough." Glorfindel regretted having to deny the younger elf. They had not seen each other for months and he missed his lover. 

Haldir sighed and raised his head. He looked pleadingly at the eldar.

"Please. I have been doing nothing but rest for the past six days. And I…want you badly." 

Glorfindel swallowed. His lover's words were affecting his body and he didn't know if he could hold out for long.

"I…you really should just…rest. For now." Even his words sounded strained.

"Please." Haldir decided then and there that he had completely lost his mind. He has nightmares about his lover mistreating him and the first chance he got, he was asking the older elf to make love to him. Mentally healthy elves did not do this. Then again, he was in love. Love equaled madness. This proved it.

"Please."

Glorfindel was finding it more and more difficult to say no.

"We can't. You might get hurt. I do not want that."

Haldir would not accept no. He ran his hands under his lover's tunic.

"Then I will make love to you.'

The eldar sucked in his breath. Haldir's hands were effectively removing all coherent thought from his mind. He tried to stop the wandering hands, but his lover would not be stopped.

Haldir pushed Glorfindel onto his back on the grass. He had to do this before the eldar could say no again. He climbed on top of the older elf.

"Haldir…"

The March Warden silenced his lover with a passionate kiss. Glorfindel moaned. Haldir was determined to make love to the eldar.

He managed to remove Glorfindel's clothes without much resistance from his lover. He smiled smugly, seeing the older elf's blissful expression.

Some logic returned to Glorfindel when Haldir spent a tad too long staring at him He was surprised to find himself completely naked. How had the younger elf manage to remove his clothes without him realizing it? He had never been this out of his mind before. What was Haldir doing to him? The other elf had never done this before.

"Haldir, we can't…your wounds…"

"Shhh." Haldir kissed Glorfindel into mindlessness. He was using everything he had ever learned about lovemaking on his lover. He had never dared to do this before. Now, there was no stopping him.

He straddled the now naked eldar. He rubbed his erection against his lover's. Glorfindel bucked hard at the feeling of Haldir's smooth clothing rubbing at his arousal.

"Haldir…"

Glorfindel's moans were making him harder, and Haldir felt he had too many clothes on. He continued kissing Glorfindel, while at the same time removing his clothes. The eldar's hands came to help him with the task. In mere seconds, skin met skin and both elves sighed as they finally touched the way they wanted to.

Haldir resumed kissing Glorfindel. Still straddling the other elf, he placed both hands on the other's chest. Slowly, he moved his hands and let them roam. Hearing Glorfindel moan, he continued his assault, wanting to pleasure his lover like he had never done before.

He left the eldar's lips to follow the trail of his hands. Glorfindel arched his back, offering himself to Haldir's lips. He caressed Haldir's back and neck. He laid helplessly, begging Haldir to move on. Haldir places soft kisses on the older elf's chest, staying away from the hard nipples.

Glorfindel groaned his disappointment when his lover's lips did not go where his body needed to be kissed most.

"Please…"

Haldir smiled against his lover's chest. 

"Haldir, please…"

Only then did he lick at the hard buds. He took one between his teeth and gave a small nip. Glorfindel clutched Haldir's head as the eldar arched his back. Haldir then sucked hard, and the older elf almost came undone. Haldir moved to the other nipple and paid similar homage. Then he began to move lower. Gentle kisses on the eldar's chest, belly, abdomen. He gently dipped his tongue into the other elf's belly button.

"ahh…Haldir…"

He moved to the side, only to part the older elf's thighs. Then he moved to kneel between them. He then kissed the eldar's knees, moving towards where his lover's thighs met. He nipped and kissed the inner thighs, making Glorfindel squirm. 

He paused when his lover's arousal was right in front of him. He looked at the delectable part on the eldar's anatomy and felt his own arousal tighten further, almost to the point of pain. Glorfindel moved his hips, trying to get Haldir to do something.

"Haldir, I am begging…you…please. Please…"

Gently, the younger elf cupped his lover's arousal, but only to move it out of the way so he could see the eldar's opening. He bent his head and lapped the entrance. Glorfindel clawed at the grass and his hips moved involuntarily. 

Haldir's other hand gripped Glorfindel's hips, trying to still the eldar's movements. Then he continued to probe the opening with his tongue. Glorfindel bit back a scream. Haldir was taking this very slowly and the eldar was on the verge of losing control altogether. He moved to support himself on his elbows, planning to take control of the situation. But Haldir suddenly moved upright and pushed him down.

"I asked you to make love to me. You said no. So now, I am making love to you." Haldir had a determined look on his face. The eldar relented and laid back down. Excitement and anticipation heightened his arousal. The younger elf, satisfied that he had made his point, went back to what he was doing.

Glorfindel almost screamed when his lover entered him with his tongue. Haldir was driving him crazy, his tongue darting in and out. Glorfindel let out a string of elven curses. When Haldir slipped a finger inside him, Glorfindel panted his lover's name. When had the younger elf oiled the finger now buried inside him? Where had the oil come from?

Before Glorfindel could think anymore, another oil-covered finger joined the first. Haldir wiggled his fingers, carefully stretching the older elf. Then he probed deeper, looking for the gland that would surely please his lover. Haldir smiled when Glorfindel let out a scream when his finger brushed the sweet spot. The March Warden's smile turned into a small chuckle at the thought that by now, the entire Rivendell population probably knew what they were doing. 

"Ah Gods! Haldir!!!"

His lover's pleas and moans had made him unbearably harder, and Haldir knew he could not hold out much longer. He removed his fingers, and gently poised his arousal at his lover's entrance. Looking deeply into Glorfindel's eyes, Haldir slowly eased his way in. Oh, so very slowly.

Glorfindel's hips moved, trying to take in his lover faster, but Haldir would not let him. The March Warden's hands gripped the eldar's hips, stopping all movement from the other elf.

"Haldir…" the older elf's voice was a mixture of begging and threatening.

Sweat formed on the younger elf's forehead from the control he was exerting. He wanted to bury himself in his lover very badly, but he was going to take this slow.

"Patience, dear Glorfindel." His words came out raspy. His throat was tight.

"Take me, now!! Stop teasing…Haldir please…oh please…" Tears of frustration slid from the eldar's eyes, down the sides of his face. Haldir bent forward, slowly kissing the moisture away. And then, he was buried up to the hilt, deep inside Glorfindel's tight hot channel. A soft sigh escaped both elves.

Haldir closed his eyes. He breathed several times, trying to regain control. Glorfindel was extremely tight, and it was threatening to undo the March Warden.

"You…are not…going…to stop…now" Glorfindel gritted his teeth. He would die, no, he would kill the March Warden if the younger elf stopped right now. He gripped the younger elf's behind, urging the other to move.

"Haldir, for Valar's sake…MOVE!!!" He struggled to get free of his lover's steel grip on his hips, to no avail.

Haldir kissed the eldar passionately. Glorfindel felt the smile on the younger elf's lips. The March Warden was amused at his expense! He was suffering, and the damn Lorien elf was SMILING! Glorfindel made a move to reverse their positions when Haldir suddenly withdrew then slammed back in, the force strong enough to pound Glorfindel onto the ground. Pure pleasure coursed through the eldar's body as the March Warden's cock hit his sweet spot hard, and he could do naught but throw his head back. A strangled moan escaped him even as his legs moved to wrap around Haldir's hips.

Haldir's mind shut down and he gave in to his desire. He pulled back, and then thrust hard. In. Out. In. Out. He thrust with such force Glorfindel felt the ground biting his bare back. But he did not care.

Haldir's thrust were fast and hard. Faster. Harder.

"HALDIR!"

Glorfindel knew he was near. So very near.

So was Haldir.

Faster. Harder.

Haldir's hands on his lover's hips moved to cup the other's buttocks, lifting them, pulling his lover closer to him, burying himself deeper, yet never once breaking his rhythm of hard thrusts.

"AHHH… GODS….HALDIR!!!!" The change in angle caused Haldir to hit his lover's sweet spot harder, sending bolts of indescribable pleasure to Glorfindel.

Emotions spiraled out of control. Haldir continued his thrusts. Glorfindel writhed and clawed at Haldir's back. His hips moved to meet his lover's as Haldir slammed into him.

Then stars exploded and Glorfindel came, his orgasm tearing an ear-splitting scream from his throat, and Haldir followed his lover to heaven, Glorfindel's name also on his lips as he filled the eldar with his seed.

The force of their orgasms left them breathless and unable to move. It took a while before their breathing returned to normal.

Haldir remained draped over his lover's body, his cock still inside Glorfindel. Sweat covered the bodies of both elves.

"Haldir?" Glorfindel called when he could finally speak. His throat felt raw and his voice was slightly hoarse. The scream. Glorfindel smiled. He had never screamed like that before. Ever.

"Hmmm?"

"Are you alright?" The eldar was concerned about the other elf's injuries.

Haldir could feel the wound on his thigh throbbing from the exertion. The ones on his chest and shoulder did not hurt as much, but they still ached. 

He had never felt better in his life.

"I am fine." He replied. He still made no move to get off his lover. "Do you want me to get…out?" Haldir smiled. He remembered the first time they had been together. It was Glorfindel who had asked him that question. When had he ever been this brazen?

Glorfindel thought about it. He liked Haldir where he was. And the younger elf was not heavy. And he liked THAT, where it was, too. Especially that.

"No. Stay."

Glorfindel reached for his robe, which he had been wearing over his clothes earlier, discarded carelessly beside them, and draped it over their naked bodies. Then he began to surrender to the call of sleep.

"I thought I said you were to rest, March Warden."

Haldir and Glorfindel stiffened at hearing the voice. Both turned their heads to look at the intruder.

Intruders.

Standing behind Erestor were the twins, Lord Elrond, Rumil, and Orophin.

Glorfindel did not know what to do. He and Haldir were in a very sensitive position. Perhaps he should have asked Haldir to move beside him, instead of letting him stay where he was.

Haldir would have moved to a less embarrassing position, but he could not. He was exhausted. He could not move even if his life depended on it. So he stayed.

"Glorfindel, you should have known better. Haldir is injured." Lord Elrond added. Elladan and Elrohir looked like they were about to burst with laughter. Orophin looked amused. Rumil was between amused and shocked. Seeing his brother lying between the legs of the legendary Glorfindel of Gondolin was something that would shock anyone.

Glorfindel glared at them. They were enjoying this! And knowing his little "family", they would never let him forget.

"Please do not be angry with Glorfindel, my lord. It was my idea. I…forced him to do this." Haldir's face was red from embarrassment.

Glorfindel looked at the March Warden and raised a brow at his lover's words. Haldir had seduced him, but he had more than willingly participated. He opened his mouth to dispute the younger elves words, but it was not necessary. 

"Oh, I don't know, Haldir. I think "force" is not the right word. From what we've heard, Glorfindel rather…enjoyed the activity." Erestor teased, yet able to say the words with a straight face. Glorfindel turned red, if not redder, and sent the adviser looks that could kill.

"Yes. He should have exerted more…control. From what we have…heard, no ounce of control was exerted from his part." Lord Elrond included. At that, as if on cue, the Haldir's brothers and the twins burst into helpless laughter. Erestor and Lord Elrond, however, ignored them and kept their attention on the two red-faced naked elves.

"I trust you will retire to your rooms. And Glorfindel, make sure Haldir rests. REALLY rests. And Haldir, do not make it…hard for my seneschal, will you?" Having said that, Lord Elrond shooed the laughing elves away, Erestor trailing behind.

The two lovers stayed quiet for a long time, not sure what to say. They had just been caught in a very embarrassing predicament. They were not sure what to say. Haldir wanted to apologize for getting his lover in trouble. He should not have seduced him. But he could not think of the appropriate words.

It was Glorfindel who finally broke the silence.

"You are hard again."

It was a while before the March Warden was able to sleep in his own rooms. Curled up against his lover. Both were naked, and very, very satisfied.

TBC

A/N: Thanks to all the reviewers. To Mainframe, thanks for the suggestion. This was what I had in mind, cept for the misunderstanding on Haldir's part. I couldn't fit it in, so I just went with the orig flow. But thank you very much for your review. As for Glorfindel being stupid, well, Erestor will agree with you a hundred percent. And I am glad I was able to get you to wince at the dream seq. I wasn't sure about it at first.

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	9. chapter 9

Disclaimer: Not mine, for those whoa re stupid enough not to know. And I am not claiming them to be mine. I only own the story, and the characters you don't know.

A/N: I have an OC. Except he's evil. And he is only here for the purpose of annoying Glory. Bwahaha!!!

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW.

The swirl of memories faded and the eldar came back to the present.

Glorfindel smiled at the memory. Lord Elrond, Erestor and the twins still teased him to this day. He had to admit, it was extremely amusing to be caught in that situation. That day, he became sure that his feelings for Haldir were as he feared they were. Love. He did not want to admit it then. But he knew now that he had loved Haldir for a long time, almost from the very beginning.

Twelve years had he denied the feelings, because it had only been that long that he had known of them, realized them. Over the years, he had found it increasingly difficult to do so. Everytime they came together after long months apart, his heart would thunder in his chest and call for Haldir. He found excuses for them, no matter how feeble, because he couldn't…wouldn't admit his feelings. He would insist his heart still belonged to Ecthelion. Wasn't that what he was doing only a few hours ago? He had been so intent on convincing himself that he could not possibly be in love with the March Warden that he did not realize he already was. He had fallen long before he had tried to deny the feelings. Perhaps if he had caught himself in time before he gave away his heart, he would have been able to prevent that from happening. The Valar knew how hard he had tried to protect himself from such feelings. He guarded his heart fiercely. Unfortunately, the young elf in his arms had somehow found a way through his defenses, and he was lost.

Glorfindel inhaled briefly. When had he fallen in love with the March Warden? 

It was when he claimed Haldir his. He remembered now. Then, he did not seek the reasons for his actions. It was so long ago, yet he could recall every event.

Meanwhile, Haldir waited for Glorfindel to continue what he was about to say. He continued to rest his head on the eldar's chest. He listened to his lover's heartbeat. He was slightly nervous. What did Glorfindel want to tell him?

In his fantasies, the answer was simple. Glorfindel would confess his love and they would be happy forever. But that was only in his dreams.

His hope was futile, yet he continued to hope. People would probably wonder why if they knew the situation. Haldir even asked himself that, too. Why did he continue to stay with Glorfindel?. 

/Because I am his./

Glorfindel had claimed him, and he had never wanted to belong to anyone else. He could still remember when the eldar said it.

'He is mine.'

It had been said with such conviction, Haldir knew it could only be the truth.

/I am yours./

It was because of that year. Haldir smiled ruefully. Reality faded and the past came to life…

It was Haldir's first visit to Rivendell and he did not know what to expect. The events of that visit were not really enough to prove that Glorfindel could love him. But it was enough for his stubborn heart.

They had been together a little over a year. Glorfindel was satisfied with their arrangement, and so was Haldir. That was what the eldar thought. He did not know that the younger elf yearned for more, because the March Warden never said anything. How could he? He did not feel he had the right to be loved by someone like the eldar. Oh he wanted the older elf to love him, wished for it more than anything, but he did not think he was worthy of such a love. He was but a mere March Warden. Whereas, Glorfindel was…well, Glorfindel. Beautiful, a renowned warrior in both his lives, and deeply revered by many elves. 

The eldar could have anyone he wanted. He only had to crook a finger and elves would come running to do his bidding. Haldir was one of those elves. He did not want to admit it at first. But he finally faced the truth. Why else did he allow himself to be in their relationship? There was no love between them, except for his secret love for the eldar. The only thing that bound them was…lust. Haldir swallowed a bitterness that welled from within. Hard as it might be for someone in love to recognize the fact that his relationship with his beloved was based on sexual needs, the March Warden had given up trying to deny the nature of their relationship. Yet he still hoped it could grow into something more.

It was Haldir's first time to visit Imladris. He had volunteered for the assignment, eager to see his lover again after four months of being apart. A few other Lorien elves accompanied him. Though the journey was long, the mission was simple enough. Haldir only needed to deliver a message from the Lady of the Woods to her son-in-law. 

The twins stood behind Glorfindel as they met the party of elves from the Golden Woods. Haldir was careful to hide his feelings when he saw his lover. No one knew of their relationship. Not the elves with him, nor the Peredhel twins. He and Glorfindel had been careful to keep their relationship secret from everyone. So far, they had succeeded.

Haldir got off his horse and gave a formal greeting to the lords and seneschal of Rivendell.

"Greetings, Haldir of Lorien. Welcome to Rivendell." Glorfindel said in a voice befitting of a seneschal. There was no hint of his hidden relationship with the March Warden.

Haldir and his companions followed the three into the Last Homely House. Though the place was beautiful, Haldir noted that it pales in comparison to the Golden Woods. Still, the place had its best features.

Lord Elrond greeted them in a large hall just inside the houses. He was accompanied by Erestor, his ever-loyal adviser.

Haldir bowed in greeting, and then handed the sealed parchment to the Lord of Imladris.

"Thank you, Haldir. You and your companions must be tired. Why don't you retire to your rooms? We will call you when dinner is ready." Lord Elrond told them.

"Thank you, my lord." Replied Haldir. They were feeling a little fatigued. The journey had been long and hard.

"Oh, Haldir. You will be staying here for a few days as guests. There had been some disturbance on the paths to Lothlorien that we have only recently discovered. I am afraid a journey at this point may be dangerous. I will inform you as soon as I receive word that it is safe. In the meantime, stay here. Rest for a few days." The oldest Peredhel added.

Haldir was more than glad to accept the invitation. He could spend more time with his lover then.

An elf maiden showed the Lorien elves to their rooms. She showed Haldir his last. The March Warden caught the look of admiration from the she-elf, and knew she was subtly flirting. At one time, he would have been interested. But now, now he only had eyes for Glorfindel.

"If you need anything, my lord, do not hesitate to call. I…will be gladly of service." The maidservant said, as she gently pressed herself against Haldir, so there was no mistaking what kind of service she was referring to.

Haldir would have stepped back, if not for the wall against his back. As of the moment, he was between a hard place and a wanton she-elf. 

"Thank you. I will…er…keep that in mind." Haldir politely replied, while trying to put some distance between them, which was difficult considering the fact that the maiden moved even closer.

"I will see you around then, my lord."

Haldir sighed his relief when the maiden left. His reputation still preceded him. But he was no longer interested in such activities…except when it involved his lover.

Shaking himself, he entered his rooms, where a bath had been prepared earlier. Haldir sighed and shed his clothes. He stepped into the water and relaxed. He took his time bathing, while he imagined all the things he would like to do to the eldar when he got him alone.

Glorfindel watched as the young servant pressed herself against his lover. He stood in the hallway on the far side where he was slightly hidden from view. Looking at the scene before him, Glorfindel decided he did not like that girl. He never did. But right now, he disliked her even more. Why? She was too…friendly. He moved away and headed for his own rooms to get ready for dinner.

Two days had passed and the two lovers were unable to find time alone together. Glorfindel was busy guarding the borders. The disturbance had increased and more guards were posted to keep the Last Homely House safe. 

Haldir busied himself with exploring Rivendell. It was a beautiful place. There were so many things to discover. 

The March Warden sighed. He needed to get his mind off his lover. And he needed to keep away from his suitors as well. He had not been in the place long and he already had admirers coming after him. Haldir spent as much time away from the houses as he could. The elf-maiden who had showed him his rooms when he had arrived was growing more aggressive. Not to mention her friends, and the stable boy, and the head guard of the archers, and the dark-haired elf that fixed his rooms, and the four elves that brought his daily bath. The list went on and on. He had never imagined he would ever be this annoyed with all those admirers. Before he met Glorfindel, he was happy to indulge those who liked him, of course, he chose those he liked as well. But now, they were simply annoying.

He needed some peace and quiet, so he wandered the forests surrounding the houses. It was beginning to grow dark, but he had no desire to go back yet.

His thoughts again went to his lover, try as he might not to think about the eldar. It was hopeless. Love was making him crazy. And absence was making his heart grow fonder.

/Damn. Why can't you wander, heart?/ So many elves were willing to help him, and he was not interested. He would never have thought that such a day would come when he would not be interested in bedding such lovely elves. And they were attractive. Rivendell housed many of the prettiest elves he had ever seen. No wonder so many of the Galadhrim wanted to visit here ever so often.

/And they have the most beautiful of all. Glorfindel./

To Haldir, that was the truth. The eldar was the most beautiful he had ever seen, even compared to the Evenstar.

/Love makes anyone beautiful. The most beautiful./

Haldir closed his eyes and imagined being with his lover. He had done this so many times in Lothlorien. 

"Greetings, March Warden."

A voice prompted him to open his eyes. The elf came closer.

"It looks like you need some company." The elf continued.

Haldir looked at the unwelcome elf, and bit back a sigh. He had been trying to escape his admirers, but this one found him.

The leader of the archers. 

"Rhyden." Haldir forced himself to greet the other elf politely

"It would be inhospitable if I do not entertain you, Haldir. It would be rude, as you are the guest. Perhaps I can show you around." Rhyden smiled seductively at Haldir.

"It's really not necessary. I can find my own way." The March Warden said. He really wanted to be alone. And of everyone on Middle Earth, Rhyden was the last person he wanted to be with. The other elf was too cocky. He exuded an arrogance that surpassed even Haldir's. And Rhyden was dangerous. Haldir could sense that. It was not that he was afraid. He just wanted to be alone. He was not in the mood.

"But I insist. I would be able to show you what you…need to see. Perhaps even better than what you expected to find out about Rivendell and it's inhabitants."

There was no mistaking what Rhyden meant. 

Before Haldir could argue, Rhyden had come near and pushed the Lorien elf against a tree, effectively trapping the other elf. He pushed his groin against Haldir's, his arousal unmistakably hard. Haldir's hands were held tightly in Rhyden's.

"You are very desirable, March Warden."

Haldir tried to calm his outrage. He did not want to cause a fight.

"Release me." He said in a barely restrained voice. Anger coated every word.

"But you don't really want me to. I have seen your heated looks, elf. I know you want me." Rhyden pressed closer and kissed Haldir. It was a brutal kiss, forcing Haldir's mouth open so the other elf's tongue could gain entrance.

Haldir could not believe the arrogance of the other elf. When Rhyden kissed him, his control snapped.

Rhyden underestimated Haldir's abilities. Even before he knew what was happening, the Lorien elf had him on the ground, his own knife pressed against his throat.

"I will let this pass. But if you try anything again, I will cut you open for the pig that you are." Haldir could barely contain his anger. He stood up and walked away before he would do anything he would regret.

Rhyden picked up the knife the blond elf had thrown on the ground and watched the March Warden leave.

"You will not get away next time, March Warden. I will have you."

Haldir had never been this angry in all his life. He had never met anyone who would dare do that. 

/How dare he!/

He walked down the darkened hallway towards his rooms. He was not fit to socialize tonight so he had asked permission from Lord Elrond to be excused. When asked why, he told the elven lord he wanted to rest. He was thankful when the other elf did not ask anything else.

His footsteps were loud, but he was too angry to care. 

Suddenly, hands grabbed him from behind and pinned him to the wall. Lips descended on his in a familiar kiss.

Glorfindel. Haldir sighed with relief, then he let himself be lost in the kiss.

The eldar dragged him to a room, never breaking the kiss. When they were inside, Glorfindel began to unlace his lover's breeches. Haldir did the same to his.

Their movements were desperate. They were in a hurry. They had been denied each other's company for so long.

"Hurry.." Haldir urged when Glorfindel freed his lips and reached into his pocket. He brought out a small vial containing some oil.

Haldir left the task of removing Glorfindel's breeches so he could get rid of his own while his lover attended to more important things. As soon as his breeches were removed, Haldir opened his legs just as Glorfindel entered him with oil-slicked fingers.

"We…we should, maybe…lie down?" the March Warden panted. They were still standing, his back against the door.

"No time." His lover replied and the eldar lifted Haldir's legs and entered him with a single thrust. Haldir wrapped his legs around the older elf's waist and his hands around the other's neck, even as he threw his head back in pleasure. Glorfindel pushed against Haldir, pinning him against the door. Then began to thrust.

Their lovemaking was fast and hard. They came together in a matter of minutes, both elves groaning aloud as they spent themselves.

"I missed you." Glorfindel whispered when he could talk again. Carefully, he set the younger elf down and eased out.

Haldir laughed.

"I know, my lord."

Only then did Glorfindel realize where they were.

"Damn!" He exclaimed.

"What is it?" Haldir inquired while Glorfindel bent to pick up Haldir's breeches, the only clothing that had actually been removed.

"This is Erestor's room. We have to get out of here before he returns."

"Oh." The two hurriedly fixed themselves.

Haldir checked the hallway for any elf before stepping outside. He and Glorfindel proceeded down the hall. When they reached the March Warden's rooms, Haldir turned, expecting his lover to go. But Glorfindel had other ideas. He pushed the doors open and shoved the March Warden inside. He checked to make sure no one saw before going inside. He missed Haldir so much, once is far from enough.

Erestor stayed in the balcony of his room a while longer before stepping inside. Of all the times he decided to skip dinner, it had to be this night.

/So Glorfindel and the March Warden are lovers./ A smile appeared on the adviser's face. Interesting. Of course, he would have preferred that Glorfindel just told him about it, instead of this.

/At least they did not do it on MY bed./ 

Erestor did not make a habit of being in two lover's presence when they were being intimate. But this was HIS room, and Glorfindel had gone a little too far for him to disturb by the time he had noticed their presence.

/So I was not mistaken. Glorfindel was staring at Haldir when the Lorien elves arrived./ Suddenly, Erestor began laughing. He laughed so hard he fell upon his bed. No one was ever going to believe what just happened.

/I wonder how Glorfindel will react if I told him I was here?/ He shook his head.

/Nah. I won't tell him./

Observing the two would be a lot of fun. Teasing them, too. Let them keep their secrets. 

Unknown to the dark-haired elf, this would not be the last time he would ever see the seneschal and March Warden be intimate.

Glorfindel watched the young servant girl brush herself against his lover. He really did not like that girl. Not at all. He looked down at his plate of food. He had suddenly lost his appetite. When he looked up, he was slightly puzzled to see Erestor watching him with a glint in his eyes. He frowned. What did his friend know? Had Erestor noticed something? But then the adviser looked away and the moment was lost. Glorfindel continued to look at his friend, but Erestor did not act like he knew anything.

/I am being paranoid./

Haldir had never felt more uncomfortable in his life. The young elf maiden would not let him be. He had thought that she would stop in the presence of Lord Elrond, but she was good at being subtle. Unless you were in Haldir's place. She was far from subtle. He wanted the meal to end.

Glorfindel was having a very bad day. What had started out with the serving girl continued with just about everyone who got near Haldir. He was getting angrier with every elf that touched his lover so openly, when he couldn't, yet he was the only one who had the right to. Worse, Haldir did not seem to mind. Then there was the head archer of Rivendell, Rhyden. He never liked that elf. The dark-haired elf was arrogant, pompous, and thinks he could have everything he wanted. It was obvious what his target was. Glorfindel's eyes narrowed. Rhyden was a fool if he thought he could have Haldir.

"He is mine."

Glorfindel was surprised at his words. He had not even realized he had spoken aloud until he heard himself. What was wrong with him?

/I miss him too much. That's all./

But he still did not like Rhyden.

Haldir could not stand it anymore. He had decided to stay at the feast in celebration of the safe arrival of the patrolling team after having successfully driven away the orcs in the area, only so he could be with his lover. But his damn admirers are crowding him and he was not even allowed to be close to his lover because of the secrecy they were trying to keep. And Rhyden had more than once touched him in places he only wanted Glorfindel to touch. But he could not do anything without causing a scene. He did not want to start a fight. He was a guest here, and he could not go about starting feuds with the host elves, especially since this was a feast honoring them.

A demonstration of swordplay held everyone's attention. The elves watched in fascination at the two combatants engaged in a dangerous dance. Of course, it was all a performance for everyone's entertainment. Except for elves, who had other things in mind. 

Like Rhyden.

He was infuriating.

Not to mention the things Rhyden was whispering. Haldir wanted to hit the other elf. But he restrained himself.

"Have you thought about my offer, March Warden?" the head archer whispered.

"I will never sleep with you!" Haldir whispered back. He was beginning to lose control. And unlike with Glorfindel, this kind would result in an elf being beaten up very, very badly.

"Do not deny yourself, Haldir. I know you want to."

"In your dreams." Haldir gritted his teeth. He tried to move away, but Rhyden held him back. Haldir could not get away without drawing too much attention.

"Do you want to know what I want to do?" Rhyden had moved behind him, the elf's arms around his waist. They were partially hidden from view by a large tree. 

"I will take you in my mouth, and hear you moan my name. I will make you come, then drink all of you as you spend yourself in my mouth."

Haldir tried to twist away. There was only so much he could take.

"Then I will spread your legs, and bury myself in you. You would surround me, March Warden." Rhyden tightened his hold on Haldir.

"You would be tight, wouldn't you? So very tight."

Haldir felt Rhyden's arousal pressed against his back. It was too much. He was not going to take this from a mere archer. He would not take this from anyone. He made a decision. He did not care if he started a fight.

Haldir threw his head back hard, the back of his skull connecting with Rhyden's nose.

The pain was enough to make the other elf reel backward. His hold on Haldir loosened.

The March Warden turned to face the other elf, who was holding his aching nose.

"You go too far, elf." He slowly advanced, intent on doing serious bodily harm, when cheers brought him back to reality.

The performance had ended, and the elves that were watching applauded.

Haldir looked back at Rhyden. 

"You stay away from me."

Haldir walked away.

Glorfindel hated Rhyden.

If he had not been in the front row seated with Lord Elrond and the Imladris high elves, he would have gone and beaten the other elf the moment he dared put his arm around Haldir. Rage coursed through him, especially when Haldir allowed it.

/Why isn't he moving away?/

He wanted Haldir to move away.

But his lover didn't.

Glorfindel clenched his fists and looked away.

When he looked again, Haldir and Rhyden were nowhere to be seen. Anger like no other filled the seneschal.

/How dare they!/

He excused himself and went to find his lover.

/Or Rhyden's lover./

/Who else am I sharing you with, March Warden? The serving girl? That idiot elf boy?/

Glorfindel's face was dark with resentment.

He found the two elves wrestling in a small clearing away from the festivities. His eyes darkened, and fury flamed in his eyes.

Haldir paced the gardens far away from the feast, trying to calm himself. Damn Rhyden! He was ruining everything. He cursed the other elf.

"You could have found a less painful message to get me alone."

Haldir could not believe it! What was wrong with this elf? What part of 'Keep away from me' did he not understand?

"So, you like it rough? I do, too." Rhyden moved forward, smiling. "You will not catch me off guard again."

Haldir stared at the other elf. He did not know whether to laugh or cry.

"What is wrong with you?! I DO NOT WANT YOU!!!" He shouted. Maybe the other elf was deaf.

"Come now, March Warden. I know you do. You should really stop denying yourself." Elves like Rhyden could not understand that some elves REALLY did not want them. It was their arrogance.

Haldir counted up to ten to calm himself. 

Rhyden lunged at him and tackled him to the ground. They rolled on the grass. They ended up with the dark-haired elf on top, his legs trapping Haldir's and his hands securing Haldir's wrists, holding them on either side of the March Warden's head.

"Ah, I get to be on top this time, March Warden!" Rhyden beamed triumphantly at Haldir's outraged expression.

Glorfindel saw them stop rolling, Rhyden atop Haldir. 

/Damn you! He is mine./

The eldar saw the dark-haired elf kiss Haldir. His control snapped and he strode forward, ready to kill Rhyden. He had never been this angry in his life. 

But before he could reach the two, Rhyden let out a scream of pain.

Haldir bit the other's lips hard, enough to make it bleed. Rhyden stopped kissing him and pulled away. The pain caused Rhyden's hold on his wrists to lighten and he struggled free. As soon as he had his right hand out of the other's grip, he drew back and hit Rhyden full in the face. The force sent the other elf sprawling to the ground beside them, off the March Warden. Haldir scrambled to stand. He grabbed Rhyden by the collar pulling him upright, and hit him again. The Rivendell elf fell back.

"You pompous, damn….You…I told you to stay away from me!" Haldir was blinded with fury. 

Rhyden struggled to his feet. Haldir punched him again, but this time the other elf did not fall. 

"So you want to play, huh?" The poor excuse of an elf jeered. He lunged forward and brought Haldir to the ground. He was about to hit Haldir when strong arms pulled him off the March Warden. He was slammed none too gently against a tree.

"I don't think he wants to play." Glorfindel's deadly tone froze the Rivendell elf.

"My lord?" Rhyden said in a croaked voice.

"My lord, we were just…having a little fun, my lord." Rhyden felt fear at seeing the cold fury in the seneschal's eyes. 

Haldir stared at his lover pinning Rhyden to a tree. Where had the eldar come from? How long had he been there?

"…having a little fun, my lord." The March Warden heard Rhyden say. He was about to protest when Glorfindel's fist connected with the dark-haired elf's face.

"You dare lie to me, soldier?" the eldar said in the same deathly cold voice.

"No,…my lord. We are lovers, my lord. We were just playing."

Glorfindel hit Rhyden again.

"I do not believe you." He told the other elf. Glorfindel glanced at Haldir with an unreadable expression in his eyes.

"He would deny it, of course, my lord. It is supposed to be a secret."

"That's not true!" Haldir shouted. He would have said more but Glorfindel's next question froze all his words.

"How long have you been together?"

Rhyden looked at Haldir. "A few months, my lord. We met when I went to Lothlorien three months ago."

Haldir stared at Glorfindel's back. The eldar believed Rhyden. He believed him! The March Warden did not know what to do. If Glorfindel believed Rhyden's lies, the eldar would leave him. He had promised to only have the older elf as lover, and this would seem like he broke it.

"That's…that's not true." Haldir said desperately. He would kill Rhyden if he lost Glorfindel because of this. He would. "Glor.., my lord… please…do not believe him."

"He insisted we keep it a secret, my lord. I think he is shy." Rhyden continued, encouraged by Glorfindel's question. He may still be able to escape punishment just yet. He knew the seneschal was merciless when it came to disciplining elves, and he did not want to suffer through that. Being caught possibly mauling a guest elf would cause the seneschal to punish the dark-haired elf severely. So he lied to get out. If he could get Glorfindel to believe he and the Lorien elf were lovers, then Rhyden's claim of just playing would hold up. Then he would not be punished. He had heard of horror stories of elves the seneschal had punished. Rhyden did not want to find out if the stories were accurate.

"I see." Glorfindel said, his grip on the dark-haired elf still tight.

Haldir felt his heart break at his lover's words.

"Well, Rhyden, that's all well and good. I am sorry if I interrupted your…playing." The eldar continued.

Haldir closed his eyes as tears gathered. He was going to lose him.

"But you see, there is one problem."

Rhyden and Haldir looked at Glorfindel, confused.

"My lord?" Rhyden asked.

Glorfindel lifted the dark-haired elf by the collar and slammed him into the tree.

"Haldir is MINE. And I do not like to share."

Rhyden stared at Haldir in disbelief, his eyes widening as he finally realized the seneschal's meaning.

"Yes, Rhyden. Haldir is MY lover. So unless you want to see your hands cut off, keep it OFF him. And all other parts of your body you do not want detached!" Glorfindel let go and Rhyden slid to the ground.

"If I ever see you anywhere near him again, soldier, you will face my wrath. He is mine, and mine alone. Do you understand, soldier?"

Rhyden nodded, his eyes still on the March Warden.

The eldar then turned and grabbed his astounded lover's wrist and pulled him away from the clearing.

Haldir stayed quiet as Glorfindel dragged him farther away from the festivities, from the clearing, from everyone. He was not sure what just happened. He did not know what the eldar was thinking.

They stopped by the river, well away from everyone. Glorfindel turned to face his lover. Haldir stood there, unsure. Tears still shimmered in his eyes.

The eldar sighed.

"Are you hurt?"

Haldir blinked. He was not expecting that.

"N..no. Glorfindel, Rhyden is…he is not my lover."

Glorfindel gathered the younger elf in his arms.

"I…I know that we have been apart for a long time. And I know that you are young and a lot of elves like you. I have heard of your reputation, Haldir. I do not blame you for taking a lover. It's just…I thought you were satisfied with that we have."

Haldir pulled back to look into his lover's eyes.

"I am, Glorfindel. I am. Rhyden isn't my lover. He ISN'T!"

"I would understand if he was. I cannot hold you…"

"Glorfindel, he is NOT!"

The eldar stared at the March Warden and realized he was telling the truth, and not denying something he supposedly wanted to keep secret. Relief coursed through the eldar's veins and he rested his forehead on Haldir's. He would have let Haldir keep his lover, if he had one. Glorfindel did not want to find the reason why he would do that. Yet he would have tried to convince the younger elf he didn't need any. 

"You really believed he was?" Haldir asked in disbelief.

"You are young, Haldir. I cannot expect you to be satisfied with me, especially when we are always apart…" For some reason it pained him to say those words. Glorfindel did not want them to be true.

Haldir cupped his lover's cheek and looked deeply into his eyes.

"I AM satisfied, Glorfindel. I promised you that you would be my only lover. I meant it."

The eldar smiled.

"As I meant mine." He said before leaning forward to kiss Haldir.

Warmth swept through the seneschal, knowing that he shared his lover with no one else. The eldar deepened the kiss and pushed Haldir until they were lying down the riverbank, the eldar on top of the younger elf, settling between the Galadhrim's parted legs.

"Are you comfortable? The stones…" Glorfindel worried that the small pebbles may be painful for his lover. He should have brought them back to his room, but the sudden need to make love to the younger elf removed all rational thought from his mind.

"It's fine." Haldir reached for his lover and pulled him for a deep kiss. But the eldar pulled back.

"We could go to my room." The eldar panted.

"It's too far." Haldir reached for Glorfindel again.

"But…"

"Glorfindel, my back is fine. If, however, we do not make love as soon as possible, I will not be. So stop talking and…"

Haldir was unable to finish the sentence as Glorfindel kissed him and proceeded to get them naked. The March Warden sighed his relief, and melted against the eldar.

Their lovemaking was slow and languid, very much unlike their previous one. They took the time to explore each other thoroughly. It heightened their pleasure when they finally allowed themselves to reach completion.

As they lay entwined after their passionate interlude, Haldir looked up at the stars in the sky.

'He is mine.'

Haldir replayed Glorfindel's words over and over. He liked the sound of that.

"I am yours." He whispered to the slumbering eldar.

He leaned over and gave Glorfindel a gentle kiss, careful not to wake the eldar.

"Will you ever be mine?"

TBC

A/N: The next chapter changes everything. Thanks for those who reviewed!!!


	10. chapter 10

Disclaimer: Not mine but a guy named Tolkien's.

A/N: The last chap was a flashback…by Haldir. Sorry about the confusion. Anyway, here is the next chapter. I don't know how you are going to take this.

The March Warden blinked as he came back to the present. He would never forget that day. For all the bad that he went through with Rhyden, Glorfindel made it all worth it.

Haldir glanced at his lover again. Still, the eldar said nothing.

"Glorfindel?" Haldir called hesitantly. The older elf said there was something he needed to say, but he had not said another word after that statement. "What was it you needed to tell me?" Absentmindedly, Haldir traced random patterns on the skin near where he rested his head on Glorfindel's chest.

The eldar looked at his lover, whose face was upturned so that their eyes could meet. This was it, the moment where he had to face the truth. So why was it so difficult to let the words out?

"It…is - ah…about…" Glorfindel cursed his sudden inability to think, brought about by nervousness, and Haldir's hands caressing him. His lover had a way of touching him that made him stop thinking. Glorfindel moved and took the younger elf's hands in his own, if only to stop the movements that were seriously affecting his brain.

Haldir frowned a little. He never knew the eldar to be flustered, even in the most compromising of situations, like the time they were caught making love in the Rivendell gardens. 

"…about…us." Glorfindel could have kicked himself. What was wrong with him? Every word felt wrong. He could not find the right things to say. He sighed and admitted Erestor was right. The longer you kept something hidden deep inside, the harder it was to let it out. Especially when you denied it every time it was brought up, by someone else, or even by your own subconscious.

"What about…us?" Haldir swallowed the fear that suddenly rose from within when a thought hit him. Has the time he had been dreading come, when Glorfindel finally got tired of him? Was that why the eldar did what he did a while ago? To say goodbye? The younger elf fought the tide of rising panic in his belly. It couldn't be. Not yet. He was not ready to lose the eldar! Not yet! There had been no warning! It was not fair!

/Not yet. Please./

"Well, it's just…we have been together for…a…long time. And I…" Glorfindel tried to search for the right words. He was trying so hard that he could not see he needed only three words, be it in common tongue or elvish. He struggled to make sure that he would not say the wrong things. He would not lose Haldir just because he could not say what he wanted to say properly.

It had been a long time since he had ever told anyone of his feelings. In fact, now that he thought about it, he was never the one to say it first. When he was with Ecthelion, his lover was the one who confessed before he could. Glorfindel only responded to it. And now, he was the one who was going to say it first.

Glorfindel wanted to get this right. He knew he had hurt Haldir deeply in the past because of his own stupidity and refusal to admit the truth. He would not be surprised if Haldir did not believe him. Fifty years and he never showed any sign that there might be more to his feelings for the March Warden than lust. But he would do everything to convince the younger elf. If only his mind would cooperate and function properly.

He was not a poet, and could not form romantic words. Nor was he a charmer, who could weave the best words to convey even the simplest messages. He was just an eldar in love. For the first time in several hundreds of years, Glorfindel was unsure of what to do.

"…a…long time. And I…"

Haldir's dread increased at Glorfindel's words. The seneschal considered their time together a long time when for the March Warden, it had been too short. The time passed like a whirlwind. Fifty years was not a long time…unless you had been bored from the very beginning.

/He is tired of me!/

Unconsciously, Haldir moved closer, clutching Glorfindel's upper arms, as if he could keep the eldar by holding him.

/I cannot let you go. Please don't go./

"I...have been…thinking…and…well, I just…realized…."

Tears fell from Haldir's eyes as the pain became too unbearable. Glorfindel did not notice them since he was intently looking at the ceiling of the talan, as if the words he needed were written somewhere there.

/No! Don't say goodbye. Please. I cannot …/

It was as if one of his nightmares were unfolding and he could do nothing but let it happen. Haldir's heart constricted. Glorfindel was saying goodbye. He would never have the eldar again. Never be this close again. Never make love to him again.

/I love you. Please don't leave me./

"It took a while…and…it's not easy…"

"I love you." Haldir didn't realize he had spoken it out loud until Glorfindel stopped talking and stared at him. His heart froze. What had he done? Now, the eldar would surely leave him!

/He is leaving anyway. At least I have told him./ 

Or had he said it as a desperate measure to keep the eldar with him? He knew Glorfindel was noble. Had he become so desperate to keep the older elf with him that he had resorted to making the other pity him only so the seneschal would stay? Haldir closed his eyes. He had become so pathetic.

/I cannot let you go. I'm sorry but I can't. Please…/

Glorfindel stared at Haldir. He had not expected the younger elf to suddenly reveal his feelings, not when the eldar had expected he would be the ones saying those words. Glorfindel felt the now familiar warmness creep to his heart at hearing the words. His joy was however dampened when he saw tears on his lover's face. Why was Haldir crying? Was loving him that painful?

/Probably. Since I gave nothing back in return. I am sorry, Haldir. I will make it up to you./

Gently, he cupped the March Warden's face.

"Haldir, I…"

Glorfindel was not able to finish the sentence. The March Warden's lips were suddenly on his own, kissing him desperately.

Haldir did not want to hear the eldar say goodbye. Not yet. He was not ready. Maybe tomorrow, when the older elf has to leave. But not now.

He knew his effect on Glorfindel, and he used it shamelessly now. He had no choice. 

The eldar was not sure what to make of the sudden kiss, but he was not complaining. He was actually glad of the small reprieve from having to confess to Haldir his feelings. He needed to gather his wits. Maybe he could think better tomorrow, after he had enough time to prepare.

Haldir deepened the kiss. He parted Glorfindel's thighs and moved between them. The eldar moaned as their arousals rubbed against each other.

"Haldir…"

"Lord Glorfindel! Lord Glorfindel!!" 

Whatever the eldar was going to say were lost as a shout from below disturbed them. Haldir and Glorfindel scrambled to their feet, realizing the urgency in the unknown elf's voice.

Looking out the window, the two lovers saw a Galadhrim at the foot of the talan.

"What is it?" Glorfindel asked.

"My lord, Lord Elrond requests your presence at the Lady's presence. It is urgent. Rivendell has been attacked." The elf informed them.

Glorfindel and Haldir wasted no time. They dressed hurriedly and went down, running towards the Lady's home.

When they arrived, everyone was already there. Lord Elrond was tending to an elf laid out on a long bench in the room. The elf was injured. He had arrow wounds in several areas of his body.

"What happened?" Glorfindel asked.

"Rivendell has been attacked by several orcs. More are coming everyday. They seem intent on taking the place." Elladan explained. The injured elf had informed them earlier when Glorfindel was not yet there.

"We will go back today. Pack your things. Hurry." Lord Elrond said as he finished interviewing and healing the injured elf.

"Of course."

The Rivendell elves hurriedly packed their things. Haldir and the other Galadhrim helped by preparing the horses. They all prayed they were not too late.

In the midst of the chaos, Haldir and Glorfindel had no time to talk. They never even got to say goodbye. Only when they were halfway to Rivendell did Glorfindel realize he had not been able to tell Haldir what he had wanted to say.

/I will be back. And I will tell you, then. Forgive me, Haldir, for being so stupid./

Glorfindel was determined.

/We will see each other again. And I will tell you./

Glorfindel rode with the other elves at breakneck speed in a race to save their home.

But his mind stayed with his lover. As did his heart.

/I love you, Haldir./

/I will not lose you./

/Not now that I know I love you./

/I'll come back to you./

/I love you./

Glorfindel never thought that it could already be too late…the next time they saw each other again.

Haldir watched the Rivendell elves ride away, watched his lover disappear, felt his heart break.

It was over.

Just like that, the best times of his life were a thing of the past. Glorfindel had said goodbye. Not in so many words, but Haldir was no fool. He knew what the other elf had been trying to say.

/I guess my love was not enough to keep you./

Alone, watching the horizon where the elves disappeared, the March Warden let the tears fall. He had lost everything this day. His whole world had just said goodbye. Middle Earth is doomed. The time of the elves were ending. There was nothing left.

/Glorfindel, my heart will always be yours. I hope that you will find your love someday, as I had mine…in you. And I hope that he or she will love you back. Because I cannot bear the thought that you will ever go through pain such as this./

Then he remembered.

/Ah, yes. You have found him. Ecthelion. Then I hope you will find him again. I hope you will find your true love again, my love./

Haldir stood there, crying, until the sun set and the world was covered in darkness.

/This is what my world is like, now that I have lost my light./

He turned watery eyes to the sky.

/I love you, Glorfindel. Even though you never loved me./

Then he walked back to his talan where he fell asleep alone. And dreamed of a world where Glorfindel loved him back, and he was happy. They were happy. But only in his dreams. It will never be real.

Lady Galadriel looked at her mirror.

"Do you think they will arrive in time?" she asked her husband. She was worried for her son-in-law's home.

"They will, my love. Do not worry. They will." Lord Celeborn assured.

Lady Galadriel sighed. 

"I hope so."

She was about to leave when her eyes caught another vision forming.

Rain was pouring down hard. It was nighttime, and a battle was raging. It was a huge one. Men and elves fought side by side. But even the combined forces did not seem to be enough.

She saw Aragorn, the future king of Gondor, fighting furiously, killing orcs that surrounded the place. Beside him stood the Prince of Mirkwood, also fiercely fighting the thousands of orcs attacking what looked like a huge fortress. They were outnumbered.

The future king called off the warriors, the few that were left, telling them to fall back. There were too many orcs. Suddenly, Aragorn looked up. Lady Galadriel saw a feared expression on the man's face.

"HALDIR!!!!"

Lady Galadriel gasped at the sight that came next. She backed away from the mirror as if it hurt her.

"Love?" Lord Celeborn inquired, moving behind his wife to support her.

"Haldir." She whispered shakily.

In the vision, the March Warden laid dead, empty eyes staring up at the sky.

The End?

…of this chapter.

A/N: What will you do if this is the end of the story? Haha. Well, what do you think? You going to kill me yet? Next chapter coming soon.

Thank you for reviewing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	11. chapter 11

Disclaimer: Not mine but J.R.R's. Okay?

A/N: The other chap's not yet the end. Haldir is going to suffer some more. A lot more. We have to go into detail. So here's the next chap.

I am not sure how you are going to take the fact that two other parings are mentioned here, the other a little much of a given. I did mention this was part of a bigger story, right? Some details of that story have already been revealed here.

Anyway, Enjoy!!

Two months after the attack on Rivendell, the Council of Elrond took place and the Fellowship of the Ring was formed. Nine were chosen to embark on the quest to destroy the one ring. Two men, including the future King of Men, an elf, a dwarf, and four hobbits left the Last Homely House, heading for Mordor. Their destination was Mount Doom, the place where the one ring could be destroyed.

So many things have happened since the fellowship left Rivendell. Gandalf had fallen with the Balrog. Boromir of Gondor died, and the fellowship was broken. 

Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli went after Merry and Pippin, the two hobbits captured by the orcs. Unknown to the others, Sam and Frodo continued to Mordor, where somewhere along the way, they met the creature Gollum.

And now, Elrond was faced with a great dilemma. It was no doubt that Theoden and his men, even with the help of Gandalf, who yet lived, Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli, could not win the war against the ten thousand orcs and Uruk-hais heading their way.

He knew he could not allow them to fight the war alone. Once, men and elves fought side by side. Perhaps it was time for that to happen again.

The Lady of the Woods stood beside her husband, in front of the many Lorien elves who had pledged allegiance to them.

"I ask this of you. But you are free to choose. This is not a command, but a request." Lady Galadriel told the gathered elves.

"This mission is dangerous, far more than the others we have ever asked you to go to. There is a great peril involved. We do not wish to hide the truth. You may encounter your death, should you go." She looked around. The elves glanced about them. They knew what the lady asked of them. And they also knew that they might not return from this war.

Haldir listened to the lady as she asked them if they wished to join the war, to help the men in their stand against Sauron's forces. He was well aware of the danger involved. He looked at his fellow elves. Many of them will die in this war. But if it was necessary for the downfall of the dark lord, he would give his life more than a hundredfold.

/I have nothing to lose./

"I wish to go, my lady."

All eyes turned to Haldir, the first volunteer.

Tears formed in Lady Galadriel's eyes. She felt her husband clench her hand tighter.

//He chooses his own fate, love.// Lord Celeborn reassured his wife.

But the lady could not stop herself from making absolutely sure.

"Are you certain, Haldir? You may not return."

"I am sure, my lady. I will fight, for all elves who have died in Sauron's hands." The March Warden's voice brooked no doubt.

He had sealed his fate.

As if encouraged by Haldir's conviction, more elves voiced their wishes to go to war. There were a few hundred who bravely decided to fight alongside the men in a war seemed impossible to win.

"Very well. Say your farewells. You depart at dawn on the second morn." Lady Galadriel told them.

'Haldir, are you sure about this? What if…" Rumil could not continue. He still could not believe his brother volunteered to die.

"Rumil, everything will be alright. I have to do this. Otherwise, Sauron might win. We need to band together. The Lady is right. The alliance between men and elves has to be reborn. The creatures of Middle Earth need to work together against the dark lord." Haldir understood his brother's dread. Ever since their parents died, he and his brothers have taken care of each other. And now, he was on his way to his death. It would be hard for his brothers to accept. Especially Rumil, the youngest of them all.

Orophin watched as Haldir packed. 

"What about Glorfindel?" he knew Haldir and the eldar have not spoken ever since the older elf left two months ago, in haste to save the Last Homely.

Haldir stopped what he was doing. He closed his eyes as memories of his lover came to him.

Glorfindel.

The March Warden shrugged.

"What about Glorfindel?"

They were no longer lovers. The fact that he still felt something for the eldar was of no consequence. He continued packing.

"You love him! Are you not going to say goodbye to him? He is your lover. I think he has the right to know of your decision." Rumil cried. Why was his brother acting like this? Not so long ago Haldir acted like he would die without Glorfindel. Now, it seemed his brother did not care about the eldar.

"Aye, I do love him. But we are no longer lovers. He…bade goodbye two months ago." Haldir's last words came out in a whisper.

Orophin and Rumil looked at each other, then at Haldir, understanding dawning on the two brothers.

"Haldir, is this why you are going?" Orophin asked.

Haldir paused yet again.

"That's ridiculous!" he tried to sound cheerful, but came up short.

In the months that had passed since the Rivendell elves were in Lothlorien, not once had they seen their brother cry. Now, Orophin and Rumil wondered how Haldir had kept up the pretense that everything was fine. They had not noticed anything wrong. Haldir had done his best to hide his pain. And he had succeeded, until now.

"Oh, Haldir!" Rumil put his arms around his brother. Orophin followed suit.

Haldir tried hard not to cry. But the tears he had been holding back for months came forth and he could do naught to stop them.

They stayed in that position for a while. The brothers held each other until Haldir calmed down.

Sometime while Haldir was crying, the three brothers slumped to the floor. Now they sat there, silently comforting their distraught brother.

"You do not have to do this, Haldir. Not because you are hurting. Let us help you heal." Orophin whispered.

"I have to do this, Orophin. I am not doing this because I have lost Glorfindel. I do this because I wish to help. Aragorn and Legolas are our friends. I will not leave them to die without trying to help." Haldir replied.

"But you could die." Rumil said.

"I know that, Rumil. But I have to do this."

"Why? Why is it so important to you?" Orophin asked.

Haldir looked out the window.

"For Middle Earth. For all elves who have died before. For us. For our survival. I don't know. For…Aragorn and Legolas." Haldir smiled.

Rumil and Orophin smiled as well.

"Their love for each other. That was what I wanted with Glorfindel. But it was not meant to be. If I could save them, I will. I cannot let two people die, with such love in their hearts. Even if they would not admit it, even to themselves."

Orophin nodded. Aragorn and Legolas' love for each other was evident in the way the man and the elf regarded each other. Even though they tried to deny the fact, everyone could see it. 

"I have to do this." Haldir said yet again. And this time, his brothers nodded.

"Take my bow. It's much better." Rumil said after a while.

*Haldir stood fast, together with the other soldiers on the wall of Helm's Deep. The rain was coming down hard, but the thunder was drowned out by the sound of the Uruk-hais' pounding feet. Elves and men held their breath as the Uruk-hai army slowly marched towards them. The battle was at hand, the enemy in sight. Then everything stopped. And silence fell upon them, but for the sound of the rain falling upon armor and ground.

Suddenly, an arrow was released, and an Uruk-hai fell.

A battle cry. Then the war began.

Haldir released arrow after arrow, targeting the vulnerable spots of the evil creatures, those not covered by armor. Beside him, he could hear Legolas counting the number of orcs the prince killed. Gimli was doing the same thing. Haldir smiled a little, but it was lost as he continued to kill.

Ladders were set up against the wall and the Uruk-hai began to climb, trying to get inside.

Haldir used bow and arrows, as well as his sword to occasionally deflect the blows from nearby enemies.

The fight lasted all night. Soon, the men and elves were outnumbered. Then he heard Aragorn's shout.

"Legolas, take him down!"

Haldir turned to look at what was happening. Below, an orc was running with a torch in hand. Suddenly, there was a large explosion where the orc disappeared under the wall. It killed several men, elves, as well as orcs, and left a large gaping hole in the wall. The Uruk-hai poured in at the new entrance.

The enemy was inside, and they were swarming. Haldir was running out of arrows. He began to wield his short knife, killing those that came at him on the walls.

Then another command came from the King of Men, but this time, it was for all of them.

"Fall back!"

Haldir heard the order to retreat. But he continued fighting. He tried to kill as many as he could.

"Fall back!"

The command came again.

Haldir turned and looked at Aragorn, intending to follow the order. His eyes met the man's.

He saw fear.

For him.

"HALDIR!"

Pain coursed through his back as an orc blade sliced his skin even as an arrow embedded itself on the vile creature's eyes, killing the orc. But it was too late. Haldir fell forward. 

Then the pain stopped as Haldir breathed his last.*

"Elrond! Elrond!"

The lord of Imladris woke up as hands shook him. He opened his eyes and met the worried glance of his adviser. 

Lord Elrond took a deep breath to calm his racing heart. He was in his bed, Erestor leaning over him as his adviser woke him up.

"You were dreaming. A nightmare, I think. What was it?" Erestor asked. He did not know his lord to be one plagued by nightmares.

"Haldir." Lord Elrond breathed.

"The March Warden?" Erestor asked, slightly puzzled.

Lord Elrond nodded. "I had a vision. He is going to be killed. At Helm's Deep."

"What!?" Erestor knew Glorfindel loved the elf. He would be devastated!

"Glorfindel…it will kill him." The lord said, knowing of his seneschal's love for the March Warden.

"He has to know." Erestor said. He made to leave when a hand on his stopped him.

"You cannot change what was meant to be."

"We can try. Glorfindel will never forgive us if we do not tell him. We will lose him as well."

Lord Elrond nodded, knowing the adviser was right.

Erestor left and went to the seneschal's room. 

Glorfindel sighed and fell upon the bed. He had been guarding the borders for days and he was exhausted. The number of orcs had been increasing everyday. They were becoming more difficult to keep at bay. But for the moment, victory was with the elves. But it was taking its toll on the soldiers.

The seneschal sighed blissfully as he burrowed into his pillows. Sleep. Finally, he could get some.

Vaguely, he registered the news he heard regarding the fellowship. There was going to be a huge battle at Helm's Deep in a few days. He knew that Lord Elrond would find a way to send help.

Slowly, the eldar drifted into reverie. His mind began to travel to a place where it often dwelled, Lothlorien. In his dream, Glorfindel was with Haldir, making love to the younger elf. He was just about to lose himself completely into the dream world when he felt hands shaking him.

"Glorfindel, wake up!"

The eldar groaned and covered his head with his blanket.

"Go away." He mumbled to whoever it was waking him.

"Glorfindel, wake up. It's important." Erestor urged his friend.

He picked up his pillow and used them to cover his ears.

"Haldir is going to die." Maybe that would get the eldar's attention.

It worked. Glorfindel bolted upright and grabbed Erestor's robes by the collar. Anger and fear mixed in his eyes. There was no sign of sleep.

"Do not even joke about such a thing." It hurt him that he had not seen his lover for a long time. He did not need to be told of Haldir dying. He could not bear it, even when said in jest.

Erestor sighed. "I am not jesting."

"What do you mean?" Genuine fear could be heard in the seneschal's voice.

"Release me and I will tell you." The adviser said.

Glorfindel complied.

"Haldir is going to Helm's Deep. There, he will meet his death."

Glorfindel clenched his fists.

"How do you know? What…?"

"Lord Elrond had a vision a while ago. It was fate. There is nothing that could be done…" Erestor told his friend.

"I cannot accept that." Glorfindel got up and started packing.

"What are you doing?" Erestor asked.

"I am going to Helm's Deep." Glorfindel said matter-of-factly.

"What about Rivendell?"

"The elves are leaving tomorrow morn, most going to Valinor. They will not need me. They can handle themselves. Besides, the orcs have retreated. They are concentrating on Gondor, Rohan and Mordor."

Erestor knew there was no way he could dissuade his friend.

"I am coming with you." With that, Erestor brought out a pack that he had placed below the bed earlier. He had known what Glorfindel would do. And there was no way he was letting his friend go to his death alone. 

The seneschal looked at Erestor.

"No, you are not."

"Yes, I am."

"No. He needs you." They both knew who he was. There was no need for names.

"He does not. He will sail to Valinor…to her. He has no need of me."

"Erestor, he loves you, even if he does not say it."

Erestor laughed.

"You are confused, Glorfindel. I love him. Not the other way around. He loves her." Though it hurt, Erestor knew it to be the truth. His love was unrequited. And he had accepted that fact a long time ago. Right now, his friend needed him. He would go to Helm's Deep with the seneschal. 

"No, he does not. You and I both know that." Glorfindel frowned at his stubborn friend.

"Alright. He may not love her like that. But he does love another…like that."

"His lover is gone. Has been for a long time. He loves you now."

 "No.  He loves *him* still." Erestor paused. "An elf loves only once." 

"…In a lifetime." Erestor added after some thought when he realized who he was talking to. He knew of Glorfindel's love for Ecthelion, and how his friend now loved Haldir. One love each lifetime. While for Erestor, the object of his affection would never feel that way for him.

Glorfindel knew this was one debate he could never win. He had been trying to convince Erestor that the adviser's love was returned, but his friend would not hear of it. Yet the seneschal could not blame him. Erestor had been in love with the same elf for as long as Glorfindel could remember, and not once had that elf showed any sign of feeling the same. At least, not to Erestor. But Glorfindel had begun to notice something a few millennia ago. 

"Erestor…"

"I am coming with you, Glorifndel. It is the only way I am letting you go to Helm's Deep. There is nothing you can say that will make me stay."

Glorfindel gave up. His friend was as determined as he was. No one could stop them.

"Are you at least going to say goodbye to him?"

The adviser looked at Glorfindel.

"No time. Let's go. Besides, I already left a note. I foresaw that you were going to do this." Erestor smiled.

When they were outside the room, Erestor stopped.

"Can we really stop what was meant to be?" he asked, looking at his friend.

"I have to try. I love him, Erestor. I will not let him die without trying to stop it if I could." 

"Or at least let him know how you feel." Erestor smiled. 

"What about you? Are you not going to tell *him* of your love?"

"I did, in the note."

"That's not fair. He will feel guilty." The seneschal knew that for a fact.

"He will forget, in time. He has forever. And I am sure she will help him forget the guilt." Erestor said with a wink. He hurt, but he was good at hiding it. He had been hiding it for over three thousand years. He had mastered the art of concealment.

Glorfindel sighed and shook his head. Erestor was the most stubborn elf he had ever met, with a loyalty that could not be faulted. 

"Thank you, Erestor. For everything."

His friend looked at him and smiled.

"I just want to be there when you finally tell Haldir how you feel. I have waited for as long as he has. I want closure, my friend. I want to see you grovel, beg for forgiveness, because of your own stupidity…" 

Glorfindel rolled his eyes.

"Let's go."

That night, two elves rode out of Rivendell at top speed, heading towards a great battle where none may survive.

The only thing left of them was a letter addressed to their lord and his sons.

Haldir looked up as they approached Helm's Deep. The high towers looked menacing, and the place looked like nothing could get through. But the March Warden knew it could not stand against ten thousand of the enemies' stronghold.

This was it, the place that could very well be their grave. Haldir looked at his fellow elves. They felt no fear, only a sense of loss, knowing they may never see their loved ones again. Yet they had chosen. There was no turning back. 

Haldir nodded, and an elf blew the horn, letting the men know of their arrival.

The gates opened, and the elves entered the tower.

Haldir approached Aragorn and smiled. The relief in the man's eyes was a flattering welcome to the elves who had come of their own will to help in the great battle. The hug, however, came as a surprise. When Aragorn released him, he began to speak.

"There was once an alliance between man and elves…"

Haldir vaguely heard himself saying. As he spoke, his mind began to process the repercussions of his decision. There was no turning back now. He was here.

The events that followed happened in a blur. Everything moved too fast. He greeted Legolas, and the dwarf, Gimli. The elves and men were prepared for battle. Theoden spoke, and so did Aragorn. They were made aware of their situation. And although everything seemed hopeless, Aragorn's leadership and the presence of the elven army brought back some hope to the people of Rohan. Then they were standing on the wall of Helm's Deep, waiting for the enemies' arrival.

Nothing could have prepared them for the army that advanced towards them from the horizon. They had known ten thousand Uruk-hais were coming. But never in their wildest imaginations would they have created the vision the enemy army presented. The earth seemed to move as the Uruk-hai marched towards them. The army of men and elves looked on, preparing for the greatest battle of their lives.

The rain began to pour. The sound of the Uruk-hai's marching feet grew louder. 

The army stopped several meters away from the wall. There was silence. Only the sound of raindrops falling on armor could be heard.

"Show them no mercy, for they will show you none." Aragorn reminded the soldiers in Helm's Deep. These were the Uruk-hai, whose only purpose was to destroy the world of men. Sauron's evil forces were here to remove from this land all that was once good, and turn it into evil, like them. But the men and elves standing within Helm's Deep would not let that happen without a fight.

The storm raged above them. But it was nothing compared to the storm that was about to happen.

This was it. The time has come.

An arrow was accidentally released. An Uruk-hai fell. A battle cry sounded.

The war had begun.

Glorfindel urged the horse faster, with Erestor following close behind. They were near. They only had to pass that mountain and they would be at Helm's Deep.

From a distance, they could hear the sounds of battle. It forced them to go faster. The war had begun. But for how long? Glorfindel hoped they were not too late. Then there was a large explosion.

"Erestor!" he shouted, over the thuds of the horse's hooves.

"I'll keep up!"

They were not prepared for the sight that greeted them. Thousands of orcs swarmed the area. A part of the wall had been destroyed and the orcs poured in through the large gape.

Glorfindel spurned the horse faster. In a matter of seconds, he was a hair's breath away from the swarm of orcs. He kept his hood up, hoping the evil creatures would not sense him. He snuck up to the sides until he was able to enter Helm's Deep. He sensed Erestor close behind. His friend's ability surprised him. It surpassed that expected from a scholar, but he had no time to think about that now. He saw Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas, defending the gape, trying to minimize the number of orcs that entered the fort. 

Glorfindel took out his sword and killed the orc that attacked Aragorn from behind. The man whirled and the seneschal would have been beheaded if he had not raised his own sword to deflect the blow from Anduril. 

"Glor…?"

The human was not able to finish as orcs attacked from everywhere and they were forced to stop all conversation and concentrate on killing the enemies.

"Erestor?" Glorfindel heard Legolas say beside him. The adviser also wielded a sword. He fought with an ability that once again surprised Glorfindel.

No matter how many orcs were felled, more came through the gap. The few men and elves left were no match for the evil creatures. They would have kept fighting. They would keep fighting. But they needed to regroup. The orcs were everywhere, while the men and elves were scattered. They needed to come together.

"Fall back!" Aragorn shouted over the noise.

"Retreat!"

The command was a difficult decision. But they had no choice.

Erestor looked at Glorfindel.

"We have to find Haldir." He told his friend. They had to find the March Warden as soon as possible.

"He's up there. On the wall." Gimli told them when he heard.

Glorfindel nodded and made to climb the wall. He was halfway up when he heard Aragorn again.

"Fall back!!" Isildur's heir screamed over the loud noise of metal against metal.

And then he heard Aragorn cry out a name.

"HALDIR!!!"

Haldir had been fighting for hours. He did not know for how long exactly, he just knew it had been some time. 

Then he heard Aragorn shouting, ordering them to fall back. He took hold of his last arrow and fired. Then he turned, calling the other elves, to heed the man. But then he heard his name being screamed over the sounds of battle. 

"HALDIR!"

He looked at the man, about to reassure him, when he sensed it.

He felt the danger behind him. His elven senses tingled. Danger. The orc behind him. And he knew. But it was too late. He knew he would not be fast enough.

The orc raised his sword and brought it down.

Glorfindel looked up. He did not know how he knew where his lover was, but he saw him. He also saw the orc behind the March Warden, sword raised, and about to end his lover's life.

Glorfindel did not have to think. Out of instinct, he grabbed the bow on his back, knocked an arrow and aimed.

He let the arrow fly.

It hit the mark clearly, embedding itself in the orc's eye. But the creature still had the strength to swing his sword at the elf in front of him.

Glorfindel watched in horror as Haldir fell forward. More orcs came, but the eldar's mind ceased to function. He stared in shock as his whole world ended.

/NO!/

He stood, frozen where he was, below the wall where his lover had fallen. The battle disappeared. All that was left to Glorfindel was the sight of Haldir falling. His heart stopped beating. Sounds, images, everything disappeared. 

He was too late.

He couldn't save him.

/No./

"NOOOO!!!!"

TBC

A/N: **I ask you to trust me.** The next chapter will be posted as soon as possible. Maybe in a month? Just kidding. It's already finished, just a few more touches to it. Wait for it before you kill me, okay? Thanks. PLS. REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And yes, Haldir's first death was just a vision by Elrond.


	12. chapter 12

Disclaimer: The characters are not mine.

A/N: Well, here's the continuation. I hope you liked it. It's kinda shorter than the other chapters.

The world darkened even further. To Glorfindel, past events were repeating themselves. It was like this when he had seen Ecthelion fall. Only this time, Glorfindel did not follow a few seconds later.

Haldir had fallen. He had seen it. 

He had been warned, and he came here to stop it, but he couldn't.

'You cannot change what was meant to be.'

'He chose his fate. There is nothing that could be done.'

But he did not accept it. He couldn't.

/I cannot lose you. Please, Valar. Not again./

/He doesn't even know I love him./

/Valar, please. Manwe, if you return him, I swear I will never hurt him again. Please…/

He was alone, standing where he was.

Haldir was gone.

Forever.

"NOOOO!!!!"

The outside world became a blur and Glorfindel just stood there.

/You cannot be dead. No!/

The rain was still coming down. The orcs were still coming into the fort. But to the seneschal, everything has just come to an end.

/Not again. Valar, why are you doing this to me again?/

An orc, seeing the fair-haired elf just standing there, smiled evilly and advanced upon the shocked elf. It raised its weapon, planning on killing Glorfindel swiftly.

/He doesn't even know I love him! Why? Why did you take him?/

The orc raised his sword, but the seneschal still did nothing. He did not even see the creature.

/Haldir…Oh Gods, Haldir. I love you. I love you. You cannot be dead!/

With a triumphant roar, the orc swung his weapon. Still, the eldar made no move to defend himself.

In the last second, the flash of the blade caught his eyes and he turned to look at the orc.

/I'm going to die as well. Again./

He closed his eyes.

/Haldir./

But the blow never came. The eldar opened his eyes to see Legolas fighting the orc that almost killed him.

/But I do not want to be saved./

Still in shock, Glorfindel let Legolas pull him to safety. The Mirkwood prince dragged the eldar inside the fort. There, Aragorn, Theoden, and what was left of the army tried hard to barricade the door.

"Lord Glorfindel, are you alright? Where is Lord Erestor? Legolas asked.

But the eldar could not hear anything.

/Haldir is gone…dead. I could not save him…could not…I failed him. I loved him but it wasn't enough. It was never enough. Love is never enough./

"Lord Glorfindel?"

/I am a failure. I could never save the people I love the most./

Legolas gave up when he realized he could not get through. He would have to look into this later. Right now, there was the horde of Uruk-hai to worry about.

Glorfindel stood where the prince left him. Vaguely, he could hear the sounds around him, Aragorn talking to Theoden, the orcs banging on the door. But nothing mattered.

/Everything that mattered has just been lost./

"Ride with me." Aragorn told the King of Rohan. If they were to have a chance against winning, no matter how remote and impossible it seemed, they needed to make the last stand together.

The horn of the Helm was blown, and the surviving army rode out.

Glorfindel was still in shock. But he managed just enough to ride out, to fight one last time.

They were few, and the orcs were numerous. Any other being would have trembled at the prospect of making a stand against so many. But the men and elves were past fear. They had nothing else to lose. And if the orcs were to succeed, the creatures would only do so when every possible way to stop them has been exhausted. 

Glorfindel fought like a mad elf. He no longer cared for his life. He had lost everything. And it was because of these vile creatures. He would kill as many of them as he could, before they could end his life.

And he wished to end it.

/Maybe I'll find you in Mandos, Haldir. I love you./

But he knew it was futile. He was never able to find Ecthelion in the Dark Halls. He had been alone.

Cold and lonely.

But he held on to hope.

/I will find you there. I love you. I will find you, even if it takes forever./

Their bravery paid off in the end. They were able to hold off the orc army until dawn.

'On the dawn of the fifth day, look to the east. I will be there.' Gandalf had promised.

That was this day.

And there was Gandalf, with hundreds of men with him.

Eomer and the Rohirrim.

Help had arrived.

From the top of the mountain, the new army charged towards the orcs, swords raised. Battle cries filled the air.

The orc army dispelled and fled.

Glorfindel watched them run. 

/Haldir. We've won./

They had won. Cheers erupted from the army of men and elves.

/It's over, Haldir./

/I wish you were here./

Glorfindel could not take it anymore. Gone was the shock that hit him when he saw the March Warden fall. Gone was the anger at the orcs, for they were fleeig. Gone was the adrenaline of battle.

There was only one thing left now.

Grief.

Painful, mind-bending grief.

Glorfindel sank to his knees and tears fell from his  eyes like rain.

Everyone was rejoicing, but there was one elf who grieved like no other.

Glorfindel hugged himself, trying to stop the pain. He began to rock himself.

The others were oblivious to his grief. They were too busy rejoicing.

/Haldir. Haldir/

Over and over, he said his lover's name, as if that name would bring everything back.

/Haldir./

"Glorfindel?"

Warm hands surrounded him.

"Mellon nin, what is wrong?"

Wrong? Everything was wrong. Haldir was not supposed to die. He wasn't.

/I love him, and he doesn't even know!/

"Glorfindel, talk to me. Where is Erestor? He came with you, did he not?"

His friend's name broke through his grief.

/Erestor? Oh Gods, I forgot about him!/

"I…d..don't know where he is."

He couldn't be dead too! Glorfindel could not bear it if he killed his friend as well.

"Maybe they are inside." Said the elf holding him.

"Elrond?" It was only then that the eldar realized who was soothing him. "What are you doing here?"

"I…" Elrond looked uncomfortable.

"Elrond? What is it?"

The Lord of Imladris was not sure if he should answer. His seneschal looked like he already had too much to deal with. And he still did not know why the eldar was crying. It couldn't have been the deaths. The eldar had been through worse.

"Elrond?"

Glorfindel froze as he heard the voice calling the elf holding him. He knew that voice, knew it as if it were his own.

/It can't be! He…he's dead./

Elrond looked at the elf who called his name.

"May I hold him?" Asked the elf.

The lord looked at Glorfindel's shocked face and nodded. He moved away, and the other elf took hold of the shaking seneschal.

"It's going to be alright."

Glorfindel stared. He could not believe his eyes. So he simply stared. It was the only thing he could do.

/It can't be./

"Glorfindel? I know this may come as a shock."

A shock?! Of course it was a shock.

/You're dead. I saw you die. It broke my heart. I grieved…/

The eldar still said nothing. He continued to stare, still not believing his eyes.

The tears had stopped. Once again, he was in shock. Confused, Glorfindel wondered if he was delusional. He had to be. There was no other explanation.

/This is a trick. The Valar is playing with me in my grief. This can't be!/

"Glorfindel, I…" The elf stopped when the eldar lifted a hand and touched his face tentatively.

"You are real." Glorfindel whispered.

The elf smiled. "Yes, I am. Oh Glorfindel, I've missed you."

Glorfindel knew he was going to be kissed. He closed his eyes. Just before the elf's lips could cover his own, he whispered the elf's name.

/How can this be?/

"Ecthelion."

Haldir stood there and watched as the elf kissed Glorfindel, his heart breaking into a million pieces. He was bloodied from all the fighting, but very much alive, thanks to Erestor, who stood beside him. They were standing at the gaping hole created by the orcs a little earlier, watching as men and elves celebrated their victory.

"What the…Ecthelion?" Erestor whispered as he saw the elf holding Glorfindel, then promptly kept quiet as he remembered the elf beside him. He turned a worried look to Haldir.

The March Warden looked pale, as if the whole world just dropped under him. Then, a bitter smile appeared on his lips.

"See, Erestor? You were wrong. Glorfindel doesn't love me. And he never will."

It was a foolish hope. When would he ever learn? When Erestor earlier told him the eldar loved him, Haldir began to hope. Erestor was Glorfindel's closest friend. He dared to hope. At first, he was wary. But eventually, Erestor managed to convince him.

'He loves you.' Erestor had told him when  they were in the storeroom below the keep where they had taken refuge.

It had to be a mistake. Haldir knew it was a mistake.

But Haldir desperately wanted it to be the truth.

And now he was reminded once again it was not and never would be the truth.

/Stupid! When will you ever learn? He will never love you! Never!/

/And now Ecthelion is back./

Haldir could not take it anymore, seeing Glorfindel in the arms of another. He turned and walked back inside the fort.

/Ecthelion is back. The one Glorfindel loved. The one he will always love./

A solitary tear escaped his eyes as he walked away.

/Forever./

TBC

A/N: How did Haldir survive and what happens next? Next chapter. Please review.

For those who reviewed the previous chappie, thank you very much!!!!!!!!!!!!


	13. chapter 13

Disclaimer: Elves, hobbits, all those names? My mind is not capable of creating all of them. So I borrow.

A/N: ARRRGHHHH!!!! There is something wrong with fanfiction.net. At least, I think so. It won't let me upload, and yesterday it was offline, and the day before that!!!!! I am getting frustrated. Just thought you should know why the update was delayed. Damn it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's it, I give up! I don't know when this will be uploaded!

A/N: Explanations, angst, confusion, pain….

Ecthelion brought Glorfindel inside the fort. He and Elrond had yet to discover why the seneschal was grieving.

At first, Elrond worried that something had happened to Erestor. But they had seen the adviser standing at the gaping hole, calling someone. They were too far away to hear the name. 

Now, Ecthelion sat with Glorfindel in a corner. Around them, the injured were being treated. The Mirkwood prince had earlier come to inquire how Glorfindel was doing. Once assured, he had left. The elf prince was also unable to explain Glorfindel's state.

The seneschal had told them nothing yet. He was still in shock.

"Why are you alive?" Glorfindel whispered to the elf who sat with him. "I saw you die."

He tried to stop the tears, but they fell anyway as remembered pain came crashing. He had been mourning Ecthelion's death for years. Now his lover was alive. Thoughts of Haldir were, for a moment, gone.

"I didn't. When I fell, I thought I would die to, but I didn't. When I woke up, I was in a cabin of some sort. And I had no memory." 

Glorfindel looked at Ecthelion as he spoke.

"No memory?"

Ecthelion nodded, then reached over and clasped Glorfindel's hands in his.

"I hit my head in my fall, and it must have taken away my memory. Thankfully, the hermit who found me took me in and let me stay until I was well enough. Then I took leave and tried to find myself. But I got caught up in so many things. I did not know who I was for over three thousand years. Can you believe that? I thought I'd never regain my memory. Nothing helped."

Ecthelion reached a hand to tuck a stray lock of golden hair behind Glorfindel's ear.

"Then, about fifty years ago, I began to have flashbacks. I don't know what triggered them. Slowly, I regained my memory. But not all of it. I remembered the most important though."

Smiling, he cupped Glorfindel's face.

"I remembered you."

Glorfindel listened and tried to discern the information.

/Ecthelion never died!/

"And then I found out about your death. Grief consumed me and I almost died. I had nothing else to live for. I spent years grieving, waiting for Mandos to claim me. But he didn't. Then a few years ago, someone told me you had been reborn. I have been searching for you ever since, wondering if I'd recognize you, if you remembered me…If you still loved me." Ecthelion smiled. "And now, I've found you."

Glorfindel's eyes misted once again.

"Ecthelion, so many things have happened. I thought you were dead. I mourned…grieved for so long…"

Ecthelion gathered the seneschal into his arms, comforting him.

"It's okay, now. I didn't die. And we are together again. That's the important thing. Everything is going to be all right. I am never leaving you again."

Glorfindel closed his eyes and leaned against Ecthelion. 

He was still confused. Why was this happening? Glorfindel did not know whether to rejoice or mourn.

"I am sorry to interrupt. But I have to speak to you, Ecthelion." Elrond did not want to disturb the two. But there are a few things he would like to know, and explanations were needed. The Rivendell lord also had just finished speaking to Erestor, and he found out about Haldir.  He did not know if his seneschal would be able to take in everything that was happening. 

When Ecthelion had arrived in Rivendell, Elrond had been shocked. But there was no time for explanations. The elf warrior was looking for Glorfindel. Elrond had gone to call his seneschal when he found the note left by Erestor. He had reacted quickly. They left Imladris in a hurry. There had been no time for explanations.

Elrond wasn't even able to finish the note Erestor had left for them to find, informing the Peredhels of their departure.

"It's okay." Glorfindel let Ecthelion go with his lord. He needed to be alone for now. He needed to sort out everything that had happened.

So he sat there, and everything came back.

/Haldir./

He closed his eyes, but the tears escaped yet again.

/Valar, what are you doing? You took Haldir away and now you return Ecthelion to me?/

"Glorfindel?"

The seneschal opened his eyes.

"Erestor! I am so sorry. I forgot…" He was going to say that he forgot his friend.

"It's okay. I understand, Ecthelion being back." But he wanted to ask his friend why he forgot even Haldir. Did he really not love the March Warden at all? Erestor was so sure that his friend had feelings for the Lorien elf. But now, he was not sure of anything.

"Haldir is gone." Glorfindel said in a pained tone.

Erestor frowned. Gone? He had seen the March Warden just moments ago. The Lorien elf would not just leave like that…would he?

"Gone? Did he leave?" Erestor wondered.

"No." It was difficult to even say the words. "He is dead. I saw him die." Glorfindel hugged himself again, trying to stop the pain.

"What are you talking about?! He is not dead! He's alive."

Glorfindel's head snapped up.

"What?"

"He is alive. He is somewhere here." Erestor looked about the crowded room.

"But, I saw him fall."

Erestor frowned.

"Fall? Oh, that must have been when I pushed him down to get him away from the blasted orc blade. Then we had to fight our way up. When we managed to stand, I looked to where you were but you were already gone."

"He…he's alive? Where is he?" Glorfindel's mind was reeling. Haldir was alive!

Erestor craned his neck, trying to locate Haldir. "He was here a moment ago."

Glorfindel stood up and scrambled through the crowd.

"Where are you going?" Erestor called out.

"I have to find him!"

/Haldir is alive!/ He didn't know what he would do once he found the March Warden. He didn't even know what to say. Ecthelion's presence had complicated things. But right now, Glorfindel did not think of that. He had to find Haldir. He needed to see for himself that his lover…other lover…was alive.

The confused elf weaved through the crowd, asking everyone who passed if they had seen the March Warden. He needed to find him.

Glorfindel's mind was too shocked. Grief, confusion, pain, relief and a myriad of other emotions clogged his mind and he was left in a vulnerable state.

Ecthelion. Haldir.

He could only think of one at a time. He could not yet handle thinking of both. And right now, he needed to find Haldir. Find him and hold him in his arms.

Haldir sat on the wall where he had almost fallen. If it had not been for the Rivendell adviser, he would be dead by now.

/Might as well be./

He hadn't even known Erestor was in the war. 

But the adviser was there, and he had saved him. He had tackled Haldir away from harm when the orc had tried to kill him from behind. Erestor came out of nowhere. And so did the arrow that finally killed the orc. Haldir assumed it was from one of the surviving elves. He had no time to think too much about it, although there had been something familiar about the arrow.  But before he could think of that, Erestor was dragging him away, towards the keep.

They ran into a little trouble when the orcs blocked their path towards the main keep. So they had to find another shelter. Erestor found a small room hidden at the bottom of the keep, where they sought refuge. There, they had waited for what seemed like hours.

"He loves you, you know." Erestor had told him while they were sitting inside the small room, waiting for a signal from outside that the attack had resumed. Somehow, the Imladris elf had gotten him to talking about Glorfindel.

The revelation stunned him. He did not believe the adviser. He couldn't afford to, but his heart listened and took it in like a thirsty man finding water in the desert.

"Glorfindel is stubborn sometimes. And stupid, too. But he loves you."

Haldir denied it, telling the adviser he was mistaken. Erestor had to be.

"He loves you. We came here for you, Haldir. He risked his life in coming here, just to save you."

To that, the March Warden had no answer.

"He loves you."

Before Haldir could reply, they heard a horn being blown, and knew the others were riding out.

They got out as well, but encountered many orcs that once again stopped them from rejoining the group.

They fought the orcs that were inside the fort, while the larger group had gone outside.

Then they heard it, the thunder of hooves. At first, Haldir feared it was more orcs. But they were not. They were the Rohirrim, and Gandalf rode with them.

With renewed vigor, he and Erestor fought. Then the victory cry, and they had won.

He rushed to the large hole in the wall, eager to look outside, to find Glorfindel and kiss him. He had finally begun to let himself believe Erestor's words.

'He loves you.'

/Maybe he does love me after all. Erestor is his friend. He would know./

He had even smiled.

/He loves me./

Just as he finally let himself think that, finally allowed himself to believe, he saw it…saw them.

His heart froze, stopped beating. Then immense pain seized him as a cold fist seemed to close around his heart, squeezing painfully, and he almost doubled over. But he didn't. The color drained from his face as his eyes registered what was happening in front of him, a few meters away from where he was standing.

An elf was kissing Glorfindel, and the eldar was responding. They had looked…like they were where they belonged. Like two lovers who had been torn apart, but their love was strong enough to bring them back together.

Haldir didn't even know who the elf was, but it did not really matter. At first, he thought it was the eldar's new lover, one who had replaced him when Glorfindel left him. But he heard Erestor's whispered words.

"What the…Ecthelion?"

It confused him. He thought the other elf was dead. 

But again, it didn't matter.

From the way Glorfindel responded to the kiss, the way the seneschal wound his arms around the other elf, left no doubt in Haldir's mind what the eldar felt for the elf.

Love.

The kind he had wanted Glorfindel to feel for him. The one he had thought the eldar felt for him just moments ago in the keep, when Erestor had told him so.

But it was not his. It was Ecthelion's.

He turned away from the sight that was breaking his heart and walked away. Erestor called out, but he paid no heed. He needed to get away.

/Stupid!/

/When will you ever learn?/

/He does not love you!/

/You are nothing to him!/

/And I hoped that he loved me?!/ Haldir let the tears fall. Finally, he faced the truth.

/Lust. That's all you ever had with him. Lust./

The only thing he had ever been to the eldar was someone who could meet his body's needs.

/He will never love you! Ever!/

And as he walked away, Haldir's hope, the tiny flame that had been burning all these years, the small fire that had continued to burn despite everything, finally died. He had kept the hope alive for so long. But now, it was gone. 

/There was never any chance that he would love me. I was just being stupid. Stupid./

/Stupid…stupid…stupid…stupid…./

Over and over he berated himself.

He locked himself in the small room where he and Erestor had sought refuge earlier. He had stayed there and cried until no tears were left. Until the pain had stopped. Until he felt nothing. His heart had gone numb. He hurt too much to feel anything anymore.

He had lost all hope.

Death was the only thing left to him. If not by the war, then by his grief.

He heaved. He was so tired. Tired of hoping, of fighting.

He closed his eyes and succumbed to the call of sleep.

Haldir woke up from a nightmare where Glorfindel kept telling him that he would never love him. The eldar even made love to Ecthelion in front of him and he was forced to watch. They were laughing at him.

Normally, he would have woken up panting and in pain. But this time, he felt nothing. He was too numb, too weary.

Besides, he had already accepted the fact that the two elves belonged together. He never had a chance.

His hope had died. And with it, his heart, his ability to feel anything.

When he finally got out of the room, Haldir stayed away from everyone. He did not want to talk to anyone.

A healing area was set up in the main hall. Haldir helped, but he could not bear watching Glorfindel, still in the elf's arms. So he left.

And now, here he was, sitting against the wall where the archers had made their stand. Alone. Feeling nothing, yet hurting so much.

/Glorfindel./

/I love you so much it hurts./

/I wished you would find him. And you did. But it hurts so much./

/Maybe I should have died. It would have been easier./

/Why did you come here? Did you ever really…/

/No. No, you don't. You never loved me. It's just my foolish thinking that made me believe otherwise./

/I should have died in the battle. I should have./

/I love you! Why can't I stop loving you?/

/I don't want to love you anymore. It hurts./

/But I still do./

/And now, Ecthelion is here. And you are finally happy./

/Lost memory, huh?/ He had overheard talks about Ecthelion having lost his memory for over three thousand years.

/Then his memory returned. And you have returned to him./

/Maybe I should be the one who should lose my memory now./

/Then I can forget the pain../

/Because I would rather forget that than live through this./

/You are back in his arms, melamin./

/And I will never know what it's like to feel your love./

Lost in his own grief, he did not hear the elf coming towards him from behind.

"I missed you, Haldir."

Haldir looked at the elf who spoke to him.

Rhyden.

What was the elf doing here?

"Surprised, March Warden?" The other elf sneered. "I came with Lord Elrond, you see. When they had discovered what the seneschal and the adviser had done, Lord Elrond was determined to come. Then, of course, there was Ecthelion. He came looking for your lover."

Pain flashed in the March Warden's eyes, but anger lingered.

Rhyden smiled. "Yes, Ecthelion came looking, and Lord Elrond went to their room, and they were gone. Had about eight hours head start. They traveled fast. We thought we'd lost them. But we are here now. And Glorfindel is with Ecthelion. Hear that? Your lover is with another."

"Leave me alone." Haldir got up and made to leave. He would not take this from the bastard.

Rhyden blocked his path.

"I don't think so, Haldir. We have unfinished business. Don't you remember?" 

Haldir had not seen the infuriating elf for forty-nine years. The other elf had not dared to cross his path again ever since Glorfindel warned him to stay away. Now here he was, and nothing has changed.

"I do not want anything to do with you. Step aside, Rhyden." Haldir clenched his fists.

"Come now, Haldir. Everyone knows Glorfindel has left you. He is inside right now, with Ecthelion."

Haldir gritted his teeth. Despite his efforts, pain still stabbed him at the other elf's words.

"That's his lover from his past life. And they are still so in love. You should see them together. Why do you still pine after him, Haldir? He does not want you anymore. I can give you what he couldn't."

/He never wanted me…not the way he wanted Ecthelion./

Haldir could have laughed. 

"I don't think so."

He moved to get as far away from the elf as he could. But Rhyden was not about to let Haldir get away again.

Everyone was busy inside, save for a few humans standing guard. Rhyden looked at them and knew they would not interfere with elven business. They were a little too far anyway.

Rhyden had waited a long time for this. He wanted the March Warden so badly, but could not have him since the damned elf belonged to the seneschal. But now that Glorfindel's lover is back, the one in the legends, then the March Warden is available. He waited for the perfect opportunity, and this was it. Everyone was either busy or injured. No one would interfere.

And after he did what he came here to do, he would leave. They would be too busy to come after him.

Haldir was about to pass when the other elf suddenly grabbed him and put a knife against his neck.

"You are not getting away again, March Warden."

"What are you doing?" Haldir could not struggle, not with the blade where it was.

"Taking what I want."

Rhyden dragged Haldir to a darkened corner of the keep, away from everyone's view, keeping the knife against the other elf's neck to make sure Haldir would not try anything. 

"No tricks, March Warden. I will kill you if necessary. I can still take you while you bleed. But I'd rather take you while you are alive."

He pushed the March Warden against the wall, the blade holding the other captive. Rhyden hungrily touched Haldir.

Haldir stiffened, but the other elf paid no heed.

"I have waited years for this." Rhyden whispered in his ear as he licked it. Haldir closed his eyes in disgust. He was not going to let this elf touch him that way. 

But did it matter? Rhyden was right. Glorfindel no longer wanted him.

/But I do not want Rhyden!/ Haldir would rather sleep with an orc, and that was saying much.

"You feel so good." Rhyden said as he pushed his body against Haldir. Growing impatient, he put his hands inside the March Warden's breeches and wrapped his fingers around Haldir's cock. The March Warden flinched and would have pushed the other elf away if Rhyden had not pressed the knife deeper on his neck. Haldir looked at him with blazing anger. 

"So good." Rhyden breathed. He fondled the blond elf, oblivious to what was happening around them.

Glorfindel looked everywhere. He could not find Haldir. He was not where Legolas told the eldar he was. Glorfindel was about ready to give up when he saw them. Haldir was pinned to the wall in a far corner of the wall, a dark-haired elf pressed against him. There was no doubt what they were doing. Glorfindel felt jealousy course through him like wildfire. He made his way towards the two elves. Then he stopped.

Haldir had found someone else. Of course!

He had no right to stop the March Warden. He did not own him.

Perhaps it would be easier this way. Maybe the Valar had already made a choice for him.

/Haldir. Ecthelion./

But he wanted to hold Haldir in his arms, even just to say goodbye. Properly, this time. 

Yet it hurt. He did not know what to do. He did not know anything anymore.

Glorfindel looked at the two elves again, intending to walk away. He could say goodbye later. Maybe. But anger still burned within, seeing the March Warden with another.

He saw the elf slide down until he was kneeling in front of Haldir, the elf's head now at the same level as Haldir's groin area.

Glorfindel tensed.

/His mine!/ The thought ran through his mind. He flet anger building and moved to turn away. He could not bear to see Haldir taking pleasure with someone else.

Suddenly, a flash of metal caught the eldar's eyes. A blade? 

He walked closer, as quietly as he could, even for elves. When he was near enough, he realized that a knife was pressed against the March Warden's throat. Haldir was being forced!

Blind rage consumed him. He ran to where the two elves stood hidden in the shadows and he grabbed the dark-haired elf, pulling him away from his lover.

Rhyden was taken by surprise when strong hands pulled him away from Haldir. Before he could even identify who disturbed them, a fist hit his face and he was thrown back. His jaw throbbed where the fist connected. Another blow came, and another. Then he was being hauled to his feet, only to be beaten down again.

"You filthy bastard! How dare you!?"

The knife flew out of his hands as he was slammed against the wall. The force knocked his breath out. Another hit in the face. Then he was punched in the stomach. He doubled over. Hands grabbed him and pulled him upright, then he was on the ground again. Blood poured from a cut in his lip, and his eyebrows. His vision blurred, and he could hardly stand up.

Glorfindel's mind shut down and rage took over. He hit Rhyden over and over again, curses pouring out of his mouth. Vaguely, he heard Haldir asking him to stop, but he couldn't. This elf, this poor excuse of an elf violated his lover, Haldir, the elf that he loved more than anything! He was not going to let that pass. He slammed Rhyden against the wall, and hit him, over and over, until hands pulled him away.

After fixing himself, the March Warden realized that Glorfindel was not going to stop until Rhyden stopped breathing. Haldir grabbed his lover, trying to stop the eldar from killing the Rivendell elf.

"Stop it!" He cried. He did not care for Rhyden, but his lover could get hurt. Rhyden was not worth it. He pulled Glorfindel back. They stumbled and fell backwards. They were sprawled on the ground, Haldir behind Glorfindel, one arm wrapped around the eldar's chest, the other on Glorfindel's waist.

"That's enough. It's enough." He whispered. 

Aragorn, Legolas, Erestor, Elrond and Ecthelion ran towards them.

"What happened?" demanded Aragorn, Anduril in hand.

"That…elf attacked Haldir!" Glorfindel spat out.

"I am fine." Haldir said as worried looks came his way.

Rhyden was taken away, unconscious and in serious need of medical attention.

Ecthelion helped the two elves stand up. An awkward silence descended upon them.

When he had stood up, Haldir still had one arm around Glorfindel's waist, while Ecthelion had the seneschal's hand in his as he pulled the eldar up. Obviously, the other elf did not know of Haldir.

"Are you alright?" Ecthelion placed a palm on Glorfindel's cheek, oblivious to the other's stares, or of Haldir standing behind the eldar, still holding the seneschal by the waist.

"Fine." Glorfindel whispered. Then reality hit him and he realized where he was.

He was between the two people he loved the most. Two whom he had thought dead. And both were holding him close. 

He looked at Ecthelion, not sure how to tell him about Haldir. He was about to say something when he felt the March Warden's hands slip away from his waist.

Haldir felt awkward. He hurt again, but he knew he was the intruder here. Glorfindel and Ecthelion were in love. Him? He should not be there. But he realized this was probably the last time he would ever get to hold Glorfindel again, and he prolonged the experience. He could not let go, but knew he had to. When Ecthelion came closer and placed a hand on Glorfindel's face, Haldir knew he had to let go.

/I love you, Glorfindel./

Haldir moved to release his hold on Glorfindel's waist.

/Goodbye./

Haldir closed his eyes and bestowed a soft kiss upon Glorfindel's hair. It had been soft, and the eldar probably did not feel it. Ecthelion did not see what Haldir had done, as the March Warden had intended. The Lorien elf knew he had taken a stupid risk, but he could not help it.

/I just wanted to kiss him one last time. You are going to be kissing him forever./ 

Haldir would have liked to kiss the eldar properly before he left, but he had no right. Glorfindel belonged to Ecthelion. Always did.

Reluctantly, he released the eldar and stepped back.

"Thank you for your assistance, my lord. I am extremely grateful. Should there be anything you'd ever need, I would gladly be of assistance, to pay for what you had done for me. Thank you, my lord. If you will excuse me, I…I have duties to attend to." He said in a flat tone. Then, facing the other elves, he excused himself and turned to leave.

Glorfindel stiffened at the March Warden's formal voice.

/My lord./ Haldir had called him 'my lord'. He didn't want Haldir calling him that. It was wrong. Very wrong.

Ecthelion felt the tension in his lover's body as he was still standing close. He didn't know what was going on, but he knew that Glorfindel seemed upset by the other elf's formal expression of gratitude. But he did not say anything.

Glorfindel turned to Haldir, who was walking away from then, back rigid.

"Haldir," He softly called out. His voice slightly trembled.

/Everything is going wrong. Please, I am confused. I thought you were dead./

/I thought you were both dead!/

/Please understand. I am confused!! Please…/

Haldir paused for the barest of moments, but then continued walking, as if he did not hear anything. Glorfindel was with Ecthelion now. The March Warden had no place there anymore. He did not need the eldar to tell him that. He already knew.

Blinded by tears, Haldir stumbled away from the wall. He didn't think he had any tears left, but more came once again.

/Damn it! This has got to stop./

Glorfindel watched Haldir walk away.

/I am sorry. I do not know what to do./

/I don't know what's going on. I am confused as well. I love you, Haldir. But…/

"Glorfindel?" Ecthelion hesitantly asked, seeing the lost look on the blond elf's face.

/But Ecthelion…/

"Are you alright?" Ecthelion caressed Glorfindel's face, stepping closer.

Glorfindel closed his eyes.

"I…I..am fine." Glorifndel sighed, fighting tears. Everything was going wrong.

The King of men, prince of Mirwood, the Lord of Imladris and his adviser watched the events unfold.

Erestor looked at his friend and knew that the eldar must be terribly confused right now. Then at Haldir, whose heart was breaking even further. And Ecthelion, Erestor had no idea how the elf was going to take all this once the other elf found out everything.

Everything was going wrong.

TBC

A/N: Hmmm, I think I explained everything. Anything I missed? Pls. Review.

THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS. LOVE YOU ALL. 


	14. chapter 14

Disclaimer. Do you know Tolkien? The characters are his.

A/N: Sorry again for the delay. My computer currently has a virus. It's usable, but I have to fight with it before it lets me type. Of course, it keeps interrupting me. Hehe. I caught it some two days ago, I think. Any way, the continuation is here. I hope you like it.

A lot of you have been getting a little pissed with Glory, and even Ecthe. But you have to understand Glory, until a few months ago, he was still holding on to Ecthe. And when he finally lets go, well, Ecthe comes back. So maybe cut him some slack? Hehe.

Haldir walked further away. He wanted to put as much distance as he could between himself and his lov…Glorfindel. They were no longer lovers.

/I should stop thinking of us as lovers./ 

He knew he had no right to feel this way.

/Like I lost him./

It was not like Glorfindel ever belonged to him. Just because Erestor got the wrong impression that the eldar loved Haldir was no reason to think that the adviser had been right. It was his fault. Glorfindel never really gave him a sign that the seneschal felt something for him, so it wasn't the older elf's fault if Haldir had assumed wrong and got hurt in the process.

/I have no right to feel this way. Ecthelion and Glorfindel are the ones who are in love. If I really love Glorfindel, then I should be happy for him./

But it didn't stop the pain.

/I am selfish. I want him to love me when he can't./

But he only wanted what any elf in love wanted. To be loved in return.

/No. If I truly care for him, I should do everything to make him happy. And being with Ecthelion makes him happiest./

He was tempted to look back, to catch a glimpse of the eldar one more time, but he didn't.

/I just wish making him happy didn't hurt so much./

/Damn it. This is killing me./

And it was.

/At least, when I am dead, the pain would be gone./

He paused and nearly fell to his knees when pain washed over him. He struggled to breathe as it threatened to suffocate him.

/I love you so much./

Tears blurred his vision. He continued to walk, but he could no longer see where he was going, nor did he care.

/I can't stand this anymore. I need to let him go./

But could he? Letting go was not easy. He had tried. These past months, ever since Glorfindel had left him, he had wanted to forget. But he couldn't.

/Let him go, Haldir. He doesn't love you. He never did. Your love will trap him./

Maybe he should never have told the eldar his feelings. Now, Glorfindel would surely feel guilty.

/And it would only be guilt that would make him come to you, if only to explain why he can't…/

Haldir stopped himself. 

/But I won't let him do that. I already know what he will say. He would explain why he can't love me, that he is sorry for hurting me…/

Haldir clenched his fists.

/But I can't bear to hear it, can't bear to hear him say goodbye again. I can't./

Tears coursed his cheeks. 

/I won't let him. Forgive me, Glorfindel. I am selfish. But I just can't bear to hear you say goodbye once again, to hear you tell me that you love Ecthelion and not me./

/I know you'd feel the need to explain to me. But I can't bear to hear it. I'm sorry. I can't…/

/You'd probably feel guilty. But you'll get over it. You will be fine. Ecthelion will make you happy. Let me have this one thing./

/I can't let you say goodbye./

/I'll just leave./

But he couldn't. Not yet. Sauron had to be dealt with first. 

Haldir chanced a look at the wall. Ecthelion and Glorfindel were no longer there.

/I'll leave as soon as this war is over. I'll go home. Lothlorien. So I can die in peace. Be happy, my love./

He turned around, vowing to never go near Glorfindel again.

/I'll only cause you more pain and confusion./

/I have to stay away, so you will have space with Ecthelion…and to make sure I will never have to hear you say goodbye./

/I love you./

Glorfindel and Ecthelion were left alone on the wall. The dark-haired elf came closer. Placing his hands on his lover's shoulder, Ecthelion wondered what was happening. He had begun to draw his own conclusions, and they scared him.

"Glorfindel?" He said softly.

The seneschal breathed deeply and closed his eyes. He had to face Ecthelion now. The other elf had the right to know what was going on. It would not be fair to keep him in the dark any longer.

"Ecthelion, I have to tell you something."

The other elf stiffened slightly. He was not sure he was ready to hear what the blond eldar had to tell him. But he forced himself to nod.

"Let's find a place where we can talk. A wall is hardly suitable."

They walked towards the keep, and went to a small, secluded room inside. They needed some privacy.

They sat on cold floor, facing each other. Ecthelion reached over and held Glorfindel's hands in his. The eldar looked lost.

For a while, they were silent. It was needed. Ecthelion did not want to pressure Glorfindel. 

"When you died, I died as well. Both emotionally and physically." Glorfindel began. "When the Valar brought me back, I was devastated. Angry, Hurt. I didn't want to live." He closed his eyes at the remembered pain. "I shut out everyone. I was determined to return to Mandos. But Lord Elrond wouldn't allow me. He kept me here, kept healing me when I hurt myself. He posted guards to make sure I would not take my own life." Glorfindel managed a smile. It seemed so ridiculous now. But then, it had been the only way. "He wanted me to live. I wanted to die."

Ecthelion tightened his hold on Glorfindel's hands.

"But no matter what Lord Elrond did, he could not get through. He tried very hard. I often wondered why. It was not like I was part of his family. He almost gave up. But then, I met a friend." Glorfindel looked at Ecthelion. "Not a lover. A real friend." Ecthelion had been his best friend, and then they had become lovers. "Erestor."

"The adviser?" Ecthelion inquired.

"Yes. It fits him, being an adviser. He gives great advices." Glorfindel laughed a little. "Although some may not agree. But he was able to reach me. He…showed me a reason to live, though unwittingly. Because of him, I wanted to be well again, to live. I missed you, but I knew that the Valar sent me back for a purpose. And Erestor showed me that. I owe him my life."

"But he is not the reason you are so lost now." Ecthelion said. He had always been straightforward. As a warrior lord, it was demanded of him. Glorfindel knew this.

The eldar smiled. "No, he is not."

"Haldir?" Ecthelion volunteered.

Glorfindel nodded. "My life was perfectly well-ordered. I was seneschal and I defended my home. I had a family I cared about, and a friend that I had formed a close bond with, though not so close as to turn into love. It was perfect." He sighed. "I didn't have lovers though. I was never interested." Glorfindel paused.

"Until Haldir." Ecthelion watched Glorfindel's face as he said the words.

"Until Haldir." Glorfindel confirmed. "I never saw it coming. But when I first saw him, I…was attracted to him."

Glorfindel inhaled deeply. "We became lovers."

He could not look at Ecthelion, not sure how the other elf would react.

"And you convinced yourself that it was only physical." Ecthelion supplied, remembering that Glorfindel had for a time pretended as well when they were just beginning to become lovers.

"Yes." Glorfindel's voice hinted at pain. "I made a mistake. I convinced myself, and convinced him as well."

Ecthelion became quiet.

"You have been dead as far as we knew for three thousand years. But I kept you alive, in my heart. Until a few months ago, I could not accept that you were truly gone. I hung on to the hope that we would be together again. I did not have lovers because I feared I would…forget you. It was because of that determination that I managed to hurt Haldir so much. He loves me and I…wouldn't let myself love him. I wanted to love only you, forever. But you were gone, and I…I did not realize that…I was…losing my own battle."

Glorfindel looked at Ecthelion, finally meeting the other's eyes.

"Ecthelion, I…I love Haldir."

A long, awkward silence followed Glorfindel's confession. Finally, Glorfindel could not stand it any longer.

"Ecthelion?" He whispered.

"I'm okay. You are right, I had been gone a long time, and you needed to move on."

Silence fell once again. Glorfindel closed his eyes.

"But…" Glorfindel opened his eyes as Ecthelion spoke once again.

"Do you…I mean…do you still…love me?" Ecthelion's voice held an edge of pain, and fear.

"I…I do. You will always be in my heart. But somehow, Haldir ahs also found a way in….I am so confused right now."

/Please don't ask me whom I love more. Don't make me choose right now. Please./

Ecthelion smiled and pulled Glorfindel in a hug.

"I..I am sorry. I shouldn't have asked that. I…It was stupid." He said to the blond elf.

"It's understandable." Glorfindel let Ecthelion hold him. "Ecthelion, I have to…Haldir…"

He felt Ecthelion nod.

"You have to talk to him. I know. I…I promise to keep out of the way."

"Thank you."

Reluctantly, Ecthelion let him go.

Glorfindel was at the door when the dark-haired elf called his name softly. The eldar turned around, and was slightly surprised when he felt lips upon his.

The kiss was tender. The dark-haired elf brushed his lips against Glorfindel's, before deepening the kiss. Ecthelion's tongue slipped between the eldar's teeth, seeking entrance and Glorfindel parted his mouth. Their tongues met and dueled. Ecthelion explored Glorfindel's mouth. He moved closer to the eldar, cupping the back of Glorfindel's neck and bringing them closer. He felt the blond elf's hands upon his chest. 

Glorfindel was the one to break the kiss. Both were breathing hard.

"Sorry." Ecthelion whispered. "But this might be the last time I kiss you, and I had to take the chance."

Glorfindel's eyes misted. Why was he hurting the ones he loved?

"Ecthelion…"

But Ecthelion waved his hands.

"Go find Haldir before I change my mind and never let you go." But he knew better. He would give Glorfindel a chance to make the right decision.

Glorfindel did not move.

/I am hurting you. Both of you. I am sorry./

"Go."

"I'm sorry." Glorfindel stepped outside.

/I am so sorry for everything./

TBC

A/N: Good? Bad? Let me know. By the way, this chap was a little rushed. Like I said, I am having compu probs and can't type or edit quite well without getting extremely annoyed. So pardon if it's a little whacked. Sorry again.

THANKS FOR REVIEWING AGAIN.


	15. chapter 15

Disclaimer: Tolkien's.

A/N: Darn computer is driving me nuts. Well, here is the next chap. A little lighter than the others. Not too light. Have not decided on A/L. A sneak peek at El/Er.

"Have you seen Haldir?"

"Glorfindel, that's the tenth time this night that you have asked me. Again, I have not seen him. As I did not see him yesterday, or the day before last. I last saw him the day Rhyden attacked him. I may have glimpsed him, but I do not know if it was him. But no, he did not leave. I have asked the others, they have seen him. I think the only people who have not seen him in the past three days are you, me, and Ecthelion." Erestor sighed, a little exasperated. "And yes, I have told everyone to tell him that you wish to speak to him. But everyone is a little preoccupied, what with the war and all. Yes, I understand your need to speak to him otherwise I would not help you in looking for him. And yes, I believe everyone has told him your desire to speak to him. He is obviously ignoring us. Either that or he no longer understands elvish or the common tongue, or any form of language that involves speaking your name. But..mmph"

Glorfindel got tired of his friend's babbling so he covered Erestor's mouth with his palm.

"I get it. I'm sorry. It's just I have been trying to talk to him these past three days. But, he seems to be either busy all the time or nowhere to be found!" And Glorfindel was getting desperate. If not for the war and preparations to leave for Gondor, he would drag Haldir to a place where they could talk…as soon as he found him. The problem was, he could not even get near the March Warden. As soon as he was able to spot the younger elf, Haldir would disappear in the blink of an eye. They never even met accidentally on corridors or hallways.

"Maybe he is deliberately avoiding you. No wait, on second thought, that's not a maybe. Like I said, he is ignoring us."

And Haldir was very good at not being found when he did not wish to be.

"I know. I just wish he'd give me a chance." The eldar needed this chance.

Erestor looked like he was about to say something, but didn't.

Glorfindel sighed.

"I know. I don't deserve it. But…he does. I mean, he deserves to know."

"I actually understand how he feels. As far as he is concerned, you don't love him, he loves you, and now the…um… one you…er…love is here." Erestor's voice held a tinge of sorrow. The March Warden's predicament was so close to his own. Except there was no third elf. He did not know if that was better or worse. But he knew what it felt like to love someone who could never return your feelings. "He doesn't want to hear you say it, which is most likely what he thinks you'll say."

Glorfindel heard the pain in his friend's voice. For a moment, he put aside his own problems as he was reminded that he was not the only one who had them. And in his friend's case, it was not even Erestor's fault. 

"Erestor…" He began, but the adviser cut him off. Erestor knew he made a mistake when he let Glorfindel hear his pain.

"It's okay. I am fine. So Elrond now knows how I feel and is acting like it does not mean anything. No wait, it is nothing. I am insignificant to him. I cannot change that." Erestor tried to sound cheerful, but he could not hide from Glorfindel.

"Don't say that. You are not insignificant!"

"Not to you. We're friends. If I was insignificant, you are a lousy friend." Erestor teased, trying to hide the hurt he felt. He did not want to keep reminding himself of how Elrond acted like Erestor's confession meant nothing. In fact, the elven lord did not even mention it. Elrond was also too busy to speak to the adviser. Erestor tried to speak to him, but the elven lord seemed to keep postponing it. Erestor knew the war was of utmost importance, but Elrond…

"Maybe he misunderstood what you wrote?" Glorfindel suggested.

"Dear Elrond, we are on our way to Helm's Deep. You and I both know that Glorfindel will stop at nothing to try and save Haldir. He may not admit it but we both know he loves the damned elf. I cannot let him go alone. He will need help. I know you would have gone yourself if you could, but right now, your place is here. I think you can do without us for now. Take care. Tell Elladan and Elrohir not to worry. We are too stubborn to die.

P.S. I borrowed your extra sword, seeing as I don't have one.

And Elrond, should we never see each other again, I want you to know that…I mean, I know this will come as a surprise, or maybe not but, I am in love with you, have been ever since we met, which was roughly three thousand years ago. I know this is the worst time I could tell you, but I had to before I lose courage. I just thought you should know. Don't worry, you don't have to do anything. This is all. I love you. Your adviser, Erestor." The last words came out as a whisper.

For a while, Glorfindel said nothing.

"Where could he have made a mistake in interpretation, mellon nin?" Erestor said in a slightly quivering voice that he tried so hard to control.

Glorfindel had no answer. "Are you sure…"

"Yes, Glorfindel, I'm sure that's how the letter went. Elves have near perfect memory, you know that. I still remember the first words I told you, you think I cannot remember a letter I wrote only days ago? Damn it!" Erestor angrily wiped away the tears that rolled down his cheeks. He promised himself he would not cry over this. He had three thousand years to prepare for Elrond's rejection!

"Why are we talking about me anyway? We are looking for Haldir, and you are the one with problems! Damn it to hell!" The tears were not stopping, so he continued to wipe them away with the back of his hand. Damn Glorfindel. This was his fault. Damn Elrond, too. 

/Why did I have to love him?/

Glorfindel was surprised to find Erestor crying. He had never seen his friend cry. The adviser was always so cheerful.

"Damn it!" Erestor cursed again.

Glorfindel pulled his friend into an embrace. Erestor struggled for a while, but gave up in the end. With a sigh, he let the eldar hold him, understanding that they both needed this.

"This is your fault." He mumbled against the blond elf's chest.

Glorfindel chuckled.

"Aiya, Erestor. We are too old for this."

"What? Crying, making stupid mistakes, not admitting feelings when we should, or admitting when we shouldn't?" Erestor sighed, his face still buried in his friend's chest. "Yes. Yes, we are."

They stood in silence, both reveling in their own pain.

Their musings were cut short when they heard a throat being cleared somewhere beside them. They broke apart and turned to look at the other person.

"You should get a room, not stand on a wall where everyone can see you." Came a gruff voice.

Both elves smiled.

"We are just friends, Master Dwarf. We are allowed to stand on a wall and embrace." Glorfindel told the seemingly annoyed dwarf.

"Oh? Like Aragorn and Legolas are just friends?" Gimli inquired.

"Definitely not!" Erestor and Glorfindel both exclaimed, and the three burst into laughter.

After the laughter died, Gimli looked at the blond elf.

"I hear you are looking for the March Warden of Lorien? Legolas bid me to tell you he is at the main keep, with Gandalf and the humans, helping with the planning for tomorrow's departure."

Glorfindel's eyes lit up. Before he could say anything, Erestor urged him to go.

"What are you waiting for? That damned elf does not stay in one place for long. Go before he disappears again!"

Glorfindel nodded and bolted towards the main keep.

"Thank you, master Dwarf." He said even as he ran.

Gimli watched the departing elf and shook his head. Then his eyes focused on the dark-haired elf with him.

"You are right." The dwarf grinned. "You two are not like Aragorn and Legolas. When you said you were just friends, you meant it."

Erestor could not sustain a laugh. The dwarf had a good sense of humor.

"So, are you just friends with Lord Elrond?"

Glorfindel arrived only to find out he missed Haldir again. 

"Do you know where he went?" He asked the human standing by the door.

"No, sir. I am sorry."

Glorfindel closed his eyes and sighed, shoulders sagging in defeat.

/Haldir, please stop running from me. Please./

"You want me to tie him down?" 

Glorfindel opened his eyes, expecting to see a smiling prince of Mirkwood. But Legolas looked dead serious.

"He is hurting. I want to help. But he's stubborn."

Glorfindel smiled. "Thank you, Legolas. But I don't think tying him down is appropriate in this situation."

"Well, you better catch him soon then."

"I'll try my best."

/And if it doesn't work, I'll take you up on that offer and tie him down./ Glorfindel vowed silently.

With a nod, Legolas left in search for his dwarven friend, leaving the eldar standing by the door.

The army left Helm's Deep early in the morning. There were others who have gone ahead, and the reunited members of the fellowship were once again broken. They were on their way to Gondor, the place closest to Mordor. Soon, another battle will take place.

The Battle at Pelennor Fields was another victory for those who fought Sauron. More elves came to help, including Elladan and Elrohir, and other elves from different places. They offered to make a stand with the humans, and once again join forces to fight the evil lord.

Faramir of Gondor was saved from his lunatic father. Theoden, King of Rohan, died fighting a Lord Nazgul. Merry, the hobbit, and Eowyn, sister of Eomer, were injured as well. Survivors of the huge battle were brought to the Healing Houses in Minas Tirith. There, the army regrouped, and more forces joined them in preparation for the great battle. But for now, they had a few days' rest, to heal, plan, and prepare.

Glorfindel had not yet given up trying to talk to Haldir. He would never give up. He'd die trying if he had to. And he was making progress. He was finally able to come close to the March Warden just before they left for Pelennor Fields. But the younger elf turned away and would not look at him. Glorfindel was surprised at the coldness he saw in Haldir's eyes.

He had long enlisted the aid of everyone willing to help. Aside from Erestor, Legolas and Gimli, Ecthelion and the twins have offered to help him. Elladan and Elrohir had proposed kidnapping the March Warden, but again, Glorfindel declined, though he had begun to seriously consider it. Ecthelion had been very understanding. Perhaps too understanding, but it could just be the eldar's guilty conscience. Ecthelion was letting Glorfindel have all the time and space he needed, and was even helping him. At times, Glorfindel was sorely tempted to just give up. But he couldn't.

/I owe this to Haldir. I should have done this a long time ago./

"See him?" Elladan asked his twin brother. Now his faithful helpers were with him again. Five elves and a dwarf were perched on the watchtower, looking for a certain elusive March Warden. 

Legolas had told them he would try to talk to Haldir alone. Maybe he could convince the March Warden to stay still long enough to listen to one full sentence of not less than five words.

"No." Elrohir replied.

"What about you, Master Gimli? See anything?"

"I see elves. And you all look alike! Then there're the humans, swarming all over the place." Gimli grumbled, annoyed as he always was about everything. He wondered why he let Legolas drag him into these things. 

The elves chuckled.

"I swear he is using dark magic. How else could he be this good at hiding? Or disappearing for that matter! Grandma must have showed him some tricks." Elrohir exclaimed.

"Well, from what I know, he was the best in his class. You know, among the Galadhrim." Elladan said. "Even as a student, he excelled in almost everything."

"And as someone who was trained to be invisible until he should show himself, he would definitely be good at hiding." Erestor supplied. Guarding the Golden Woods demanded peak performance and undetectability. And Haldir mastered all, it seems.

"This is stupid. Why are we doing this again?" Elladan complained.

"Because Glorfindel has to tell Haldir he loves him." Ecthelion replied before Glorfindel could get a word out. An awkward silence followed. Glorfindel looked at Ecthelion, trying to catch the other's eye, but Ecthelion would not look at him. The eldar was not sure what to make of Ecthelion's words.

"Ow!" Elladan exclaimed when Elrohir elbowed him. "What?"

The others rolled their eyes and then continued their task.

Glorfindel continued to look at Ecthelion. Finally, the other elf looked at him.

"I have been asking myself why you keep pursuing this. Why would you keep chasing him when he seems so intent on letting you go?" Ecthelion said in a low voice.

Glorfindel sucked in breath. He opened his mouth to answer, but the other elf continued.

"I finally figured it out."

Ecthelion's eyes filled with unshed tears. He did not want it to be the truth, but it was.

"You don't want him to let you go."

Glorfindel's breath hitched. Tears also filled his eyes.

"I never meant to hurt you." He whispered.

"I know." Ecthelion wiped the tear that fell from the eldar's face.

"I am sorry."

"Don't be." Ecthelion moved closer, until their faces were close, their bodies almost touching. "I knew I already lost you when we kissed at Helm's Deep. I hoped I was wrong. That maybe you were just surprised. But when I tried again, I was sure."

"I am sorry."

"Glorfindel, do not be sorry. You love him. That is not a sin."

"But I hurt you."

"You did not mean to. You did not know I was still alive. What we had was in the past, your other life. I have that. This life, you belong with the March Warden."

Glorfindel cupped the other elf's face.

"Thank you for understanding. I meant to tell you, but I couldn't…wasn't sure when…I didn't think it was fair. You looked for me…"

"And I found you. I wish for you to be happy."

They embraced. Glorfindel held on to Ecthelion, thanking the Valar that the other elf understood, yet could not help feeling guilty. It was nobody's fault, but he felt like it was his. 

He had chosen that night when Haldir walked away from him. When he had stood there, between Ecthelion and Haldir, and felt Haldir let go, he knew. 

/I couldn't let him go…/

"Last kiss?" Ecthelion asked, smiling. It was said in a teasing tone. Glorfindel smiled back.

"I suppose." Smiles disappeared.

Slowly, Ecthelion's head descended and the once legendary lovers shared their final passionate kiss. It was goodbye.

The three other elves and the dwarf watched in silence, trying hard not to make a sound, afraid to ruin the moment. They sighed, relieved that at least one problem was solved. But even the most perfect moments were meant to be broken sometime. And in the worst possible way.

"Damn!" Elrohir whispered, looking at someone just below them who was staring at the kissing elves. This was one time when elven eyesight was a curse. "Haldir."

TBC

A/N: Next chap may be the last one, if my muse permits it. Please review chap. Tell me if it's crap or something. Anything. I am still deciding how the ending should go. My sister suggested I kill at least two. I am considering. Haha. We'll see my mood. If I am gloomy, I'll kill everyone. If not, ah well. Another option is to get everyone to end up with others that are not their orig. partners. Hahaha. Tempting. Very!

PLEASE REVIEW!

THANKIES TO ALL REVIEWERS.


	16. chapter 16

Disclaimer: The characters are owned by J.R.R. 

A/N: Okay, so this isn't the last chapter. 

Haldir watched Anor settle down behind the mountains in the distant horizon. As always since he had arrived, he was alone, like he wanted to be. He didn't want to be with anyone. Except maybe Glorfindel. But the eldar was the one elf he could not be with.

Lover's cove. This was where he and Glorfindel first made love. It was so many years ago. Now, he sat here by himself, remembering all the good times he had in his lover's arms.

Four weeks ago, Sauron had fallen. The army, led by Gandalf and Aragorn, fought the greatest battle in the history of Middle Earth. They sought to defeat the evil lord, and had succeeded. Frodo, the Ringbearer was able to destroy the ring, and Sauron's power was defeated. Middle Earth was rid of the evil threat. And the lost King of Men was able to regain his throne. The creatures of Middle Earth were able to get back their homes, and freed of orcs and other evil forces.

But Haldir had lost everything.

As soon as the battle was won, Haldir left for Lothlorien. When everyone broke out in loud cheers as the orcs were chased away, Haldir silently watched, then turned away and left. He did not bother saying goodbye to anyone. He just left. He took a horse, and rode towards home. He did not even stop to clean himself up. He rode towards the Golden Woods, blood, grime and all. He had cuts and bruises everywhere, and a large gaping wound on his thigh. But they did not prevent him from his decision to leave as soon as he could. He rode fast, stopping only when he almost fell off the horse in exhaustion, and once to bandage the wounds that were bleeding too much.

He did not want to see anyone. To see Glorfindel in Ecthelion's arms. To watch them kiss again. He had seen it once too often. He did not want to have the eldar come up to him to say goodbye. He did not wish to be reminded of what he had lost. He knew them by heart, or what's left of his. So he left.

And now, he was home. The Golden Woods were still beautiful. There was some damage, but the place was able to maintain its beauty.

But it was empty. Haldir felt empty. 

Only a few elves have chosen to remain there. Lord Celeborn, his brothers, and a few of their friends. Everyone else had gone to Valinor.

Haldir closed his eyes. 

It took a lot to get his brothers to leave him alone. They tended to his wounds, forced him to eat and sleep. But he had finally convinced them to let him have his peace after assuring them that he was fine. He needed it.

He was dying. Haldir knew it. He could feel it. His heart, breaking further for each day that he was apart from Glorfindel. But they would never be together again. In only a few more months, maybe even just days, Haldir would be in the Halls of Mandos.

He knew he had lost the eldar. This time, it was for sure. He no longer hoped that he was mistaken. He was sure, no doubt brooked his mind. He had seen it himself, a few days before they left for Mordor. He could never forget it. How could he? 

/Glorfindel, I hope you and Ecthelion are happy, wherever you are./

Haldir closed his eyes and let himself remember. It hurt, but he could not stop himself from replaying the events of that day over and over again, if only to remind himself everytime a foolish hope began again.

They had been staying at Minas Tirith for a while, preparing for the great battle. He had been hiding from the eldar the entire time. He knew Glorfindel was looking for him. So many elves had told him. But he did not want to see the eldar, despite what he felt. He was afraid…afraid to hear Glorfindel say goodbye. He had seen him with Ecthelion, not only at Helm's Deep, but also in the city of men. Wasn't Glorfindel in the other elf's arms when Haldir had spoken to him last, after Rhyden had attacked the March Warden? They were still together in the battle of Pelennor fields. And Minas Tirith. So Haldir decided to make himself scarce.

Two days before they were to leave for Mordor, Legolas had been pestering him to give Glorfindel a chance to talk.

"Haldir, please. He looks for you night and day." Legolas pleaded with him.

"I do not want to see him!" Haldir was indignant. He could not give in. He already knew what the eldar was going to say.

/Goodbye./

"Why? At least tell me why then, so I can explain to him. He has no idea why you would not talk to him." The prince of Mirkwood wished to understand as well. He knew his friend was in love with the eldar, so why was Haldir so adamant about not speaking to Glorfindel?

"I can't. Legolas, please, I just…can't." Haldir's voice was pleading.

"That's not good enough."

"Well, it will have to do!" Haldir did not mean to raise his voice. He turned and was about to walk away.

"I thought you loved him." Legolas' voice held a note of sadness. 

Haldir closed his eyes as tears threatened to fall. He had not cried for days now. He was not going to again. But his friend's words hit just the right spot.

"Or was it just lust, like you always claimed it to be?" Legolas' voice hardened.

Haldir's head whipped around and his face showed his anger.

"Damn you! You know that I love him! I love him with all my heart! My soul! He is my everything! It was never lust! Ever!" Haldir was screaming.

"Then why do you not speak to him? Why do you do this to him?" Legolas screamed back.

"Because for him, it was JUST lust! And it hurts so much."

Legolas looked at him disbelievingly.

"That's not what I see, Haldir. If it were just that, then why would he be so intent on speaking to you? Why would he cry, Haldir, when I told him you would not speak to him? Yes, he cried, I saw his tears. He tried to hide them, but I saw it. He would not cry for lust!"

Haldir did not know how to respond. Legolas had to be mistaken.

"If he cried, those tears were not for me. He will never cry for me!"

"Why is it so difficult for you to believe that he cares for you? That he loves you?"

Haldir laughed sarcastically.

"Love me? LOVE me? That is the one thing he does not feel for me. One thing he would never feel for me!"

"Haldir, you cannot be that blind!"

"I was. Once, I was blinded by hope that he could love me. But not anymore. Not after…after seeing the truth. I saw them, with my own eyes. THAT is love." Haldir's voice became a whisper, and the tears that he tried so hard to stop, finally fell.

Legolas inhaled deeply, and gathered Haldir in his arms.

"You saw him with Ecthelion."

"I saw them kiss. And I finally understood why he could never love me."

Legolas tightened his hold on the March Warden. "Are you sure, Haldir? Maybe you have been convincing yourself for so long that you see things in a different way."

"There is no mistake, Legolas."

"Are you sure? Because if you are mistaken, Haldir, you would not only be breaking your heart, but Glorfindel's as well."

"He has Ecthelion."

"What if it's not Ecthelion he wants?" Legolas pulled back and looked Haldir in the eyes. "Are you willing to risk breaking his heart?"

Haldir could not reply.

"I know you are trying not to get any more hurt. But Haldir, what if it turns out that he wants you? And because you do not want to be hurt, you are running away from your happiness, taking his happiness as well?"

"What are you saying, Legolas?"

"All I know is that as of this moment, Glorfindel has done every possible thing to get you to talk to him. He has asked for everyone's help, including Ecthelion's."

Haldir closed his eyes. He could not believe he was hoping again. Hasn't he learned his lesson already? Hope would only hurt him.

But what if there was some truth to Legolas' words?

"He and Ecthelion were lovers. So were you. Maybe he is just…choosing?" Legolas said. "You have to understand his confusion. Who would have thought Ecthelion was still alive?"

"I still don't think that he loves me."

"But he might. Give him a chance. Talk to him."

"Fine."

Legolas beamed. "He is at the watchtower with Gimli and the others. They are all looking for you. Go to him, will you?"

Haldir turned to leave.

"Thanks, Legolas. If only you are this confident about Aragorn."

"Aragorn and I are just friends!" Legolas said, then laughed. "Go."

"Legolas…" Haldir began, but could not get the words out.

"Give him a chance, Haldir. If…IF he doesn't…feel that way for you…you would know. But at least give him a chance."

So Haldir did. He walked out of the keep, and proceeded to the watchtower.

And he had seen. For that moment, his world stopped spinning. Everything ceased to exist but the two lovers kissing each other. Hasn't he seen this before? He should be used to it by now. He should have expected it.

If Legolas was right, that Glorfindel was choosing, Haldir had seen his choice.

Ecthelion.

Haldir watched silently. Strangely, he felt no pain. He felt…nothing. Or maybe he did. But the stunning numbness that followed did not allow for anything else. 

He heard Elrohir curse and Elladan saying his name, saw Ecthelion and Glorfindel break apart suddenly, met Glorfindel's surprised gaze, and he…smiled. 

In the same moment that he knew he had lost Glorfindel, he smiled. He did not know what else to do. He had cried too much already. He couldn't have turned away at that moment even if his life depended on it. So he smiled.

The final goodbye.

It hurt more than if he had heard the words.

As if in slow motion, the world unraveled, time started once again, and everything came back. 

He could move again. Haldir turned and left. He heard Glorfindel calling him, shouting his name. But this time, no force on Middle Earth would have convinced him to turn back. He had turned back so many times, and had been hurt so many times. He would never make that mistake again.

He had believed Erestor's words that Glorfindel loved him. Then he saw the eldar in Ecthelion's arms. This time, he believed Legolas' words. Once again, he was showed the harsh reality.

/Not again. Never again./

And he broke into a run. He ran far, to where he did not care. He ran for hours, until he could not run anymore, until the tears came again. Until he felt…FELT his heart break.

He sank to the ground as pain from his breaking heart threatened to undo him. What was once just an ache became a pain so strong it forced the March Warden to his knees. He could not breath, could not stand, could not see. It felt like his heart was being torn away from him. It hurt more than any mortal wound he had ever sustained. He could have sworn he was bleeding. For a moment, he thought he was going to die.

That the Valar would finally show him mercy.

But it was not to be. Not yet. After what seemed like hours of unbearable pain, it stopped. 

He had lain there on the ground for a few more minutes, his breathing harsh. When his heart rate slowed and his breathing returned to normal, he stood up. Wiping away the wetness on his cheeks and the dirt from his face and hair, he slowly made his way back to the Healing Houses of Minas Tirith. He still felt a dull ache, but it was bearable now.

He did not go back in. He stayed in the shadows, hiding from everyone. And he stayed hidden until it was time to head out to Mordor. Only then did he show himself, but only to a few elves, only so he could get his weapons and change to his battle gear. He donned his armor, thankful for the objects that allowed him to disappear among the sea of elven warriors like himself. The uniform allowed him to blend in. Not even Legolas saw him. 

Then they were riding out towards Mordor.

The battle was won.

And he was back in Lothlorien.

Alone.

Haldir sighed, coming back to the present, his musings over. It was time to go back to his talan. He didn't want to, but he'd been here for three straight days. His brothers would send out a search party.

He stood up, took one last look into where the sun disappeared, and tiredly made his way back.

He reached his talan and as always, he hesitated to enter. Too many memories.

But he couldn't hurt any more than he already was hurting. So he entered.

He felt so tired.

He moved his way to his room, and fell upon the bed. Normally, he would have fallen asleep the moment he hit his bed. But not this time. Sleep eluded him as always. He turned and closed his eyes, trying to shut out the pain, the world.

He wanted to go to the land of dreams. There, he felt no pain. There, he was…happy.

In his dreams, he and Glorfindel were still together. The eldar never said goodbye. Ecthelion never returned. The war never happened.

"Glorfindel." It hurt even to say his lover's name.

"Haldir."

Haldir's eyes snapped open. That sounded…real. 

/It can't be. I am dreaming./

"Haldir." Yet he heard it again.

Slightly afraid that it was not real, Haldir slowly turned his head towards the door.

There stood an elf who had only been in his dreams for the past months.

Haldir bolted upright. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the vision by his door.

"Glorfindel?" His voice a mere whisper, as if any loud sounds would shatter the precious image he now beheld. Tears fell on his cheeks.

/Not a dream. Please…/

Glorfindel's eyes misted as well.

"Haldir."

The March Warden did not see the other elf move. But suddenly, he was in the eldar's arms. His hands reached out and he held on for dear life.

"Glorfindel." Over and over he said his lover's name.

/Please be real. Please…not a dream. Can't be a dream…/

Glorfindel held on to Haldir like he would to his lifeline. Both elves stayed wrapped in each other's arms, unwilling to let go even for a while.

"Haldir, I…"

No. No words. Haldir would not allow it. Words might tell him this was not real. He could not allow it. He covered the eldar's lips with his own. A strangled moan came from Glorfindel as Haldir plundered his mouth ruthlessly.

Haldir kissed his lover like it would be their last. It might be. He could not think about it. He had to have this moment. He'd been hurting for so long.

Suddenly, he did not care if this was a dream. He had to have Glorfindel. He needed him. He had gone for so long without the eldar.

Without releasing Glorfindel's mouth, Haldir's skillful hands undressed the eldar. Glorfindel was not even aware until the cool air touched his bare skin. With a surprised gasp that was swallowed by the March Warden, he became aware of his nudity. But he did not have time to ponder it. Haldir pulled him towards the bed and rolled them until the March Warden lay on top, between Glorfindel's thighs.

Impatience guided his movements. He touched the eldar everywhere. Glorfindel did not have any chance to refuse. Nor did he want to. They both needed this.

"Your…clothes…" Glorfindel gasped out in the single moment that Haldir freed his mouth. But he barely had the words out before his lips were once again covered with the younger elf's mouth.

Haldir did not bother removing his clothes. He unlaced his breeches and pulled out his straining cock. His hands briefly brushed his lover's arousal and Glorfindel shivered.

Haldir positioned himself at the eldar's entrance.

"Please." He whispered against Glorfindel's mouth.

"Yes." The eldar answered.

Haldir needed no more. He plunged into the tight heat. Glorfindel gasped at the invasion, both from pain and pleasure.

Haldir paused for the merest of moments, then began to move. Moans filled the small talan, becoming louder as Haldir's thrusts became faster.

"Hal…dir."

The March Warden gripped the eldar's hips and began to push harder, and faster still.

"I love you." He proclaimed his love over and over as he pounded into the eldar.

Control disappeared, and their movements became more erratic. Haldir thrust harder, and Glorfindel raised his hips to meet Haldir.

Moans became groans, and teetered on becoming shouts and screams of pleasure.

So close. Haldir felt his orgasm near. Suddenly, the tight heat surrounding his arousal spasm, clenching him tighter, drawing him deeper as Glorfindel came with a scream.  
"I love you!" The words were a loud shout torn from the very depths of Haldir's soul as he followed his lover's orgasm. He spilled his seed into Glorfindel, and buried his face in the eldar's neck.

Exhausted, they lay still for several minutes.

"I love you." Haldir whispered one more time before he surrendered to the call of sleep. As his mind started to shut down, he heard the words that he had waited forever to hear.

"I love you, Haldir."

Haldir slowly came to full awareness. He was momentarily blinded by the sun's rays that were directly in his eyes.

It was morning. How long had he been asleep? He usually awoke at dawn.

Then memory returned to him. Memories of Glorfindel standing by his door, of being in the eldar's arms, of making love to his lover, of hearing his lover say "I love you' to him.

Had that been a dream? It felt so real.

/Please, don't let it be a dream./

Slowly, he turned to look beside his bed. There was no one there. He felt the covers and found they were cold to the touch.

/No!/

Tears formed, and he bolted upright. He ran outside his room, frantically searching his talan.

/No!/

It had felt so real! He had been so sure it wasn't a dream!

"Glorfindel?" He called out.

There was no answer.

He looked around his talan, outside, then back to his bedroom.

There was no one there.

He was alone.

TBC

A/N: Haven't done the flashback thingy for a while so I thought now is a good time. Well, as you can see, this is not yet the end because no one's dead yet. Hahaha. Anyway, when I wrote the final chap, it was longer than expected so I decided to cut it. Then the muse struck and more ideas came a-flowing. The end result? Typing TBC at the end of this chapter. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the reviews of the other chap. Very inspiring.


	17. chapter 17

Disclaimer: Tolkien's. The characters anyway. The story is mine. Of course.

Warning: (I guess I've been forgetting to put this.) SLASH. Meaning homosexual relationships. If you are offended or if you have something against homosexuality, I just want you to know that this is what the story is all about so you would not be shocked into…er…you know, reacting violently. Stay away if you know that you won't like it.

A/N: Hmmm, received my first flame. Interesting really. Nio, sorry if you find slash offensive. Don't read anymore of it. Ok?

For everyone, guess you are wondering what took so long? Well, my sister suggested an ending that I am seriously considering and I had to rewrite a lot of things to fit into said ending. But we'll see if I go through with it. I now have two possible endings. 

Glorfindel straightened atop his horse. In the distant horizon, he could see it. Lothlorien.

/Please be there./

He sighed, then rode faster.

Six weeks. The worst moments of his life were the past six weeks. Maybe now, it would finally be over.

"He is here. I am sure of it." Erestor reassured him. Glorfindel looked at his friend, then to his other companions. He smiled.

"I…hope so."

They rode in silence afterwards, the Peredhels, Ecthelion and Erestor exchanging understanding glances. Glorfindel only had eyes for the Golden Woods.

/Please./

The moment Sauron was defeated, the first thought that came to the Gondolin elf was the need to speak to Haldir. There was nothing standing between them now. The war was over and he could finally pursue the March Warden freely.

But there was no March Warden in sight. He looked everywhere, calling the attention of men and elves who were part of the surviving army when he began to scream Haldir's name. In those moments that he could not find the March Warden, his mind thought up the worst scene, Haldir laying amongst the dead bodies of those who have fallen in the war.

Glorfindel had become almost hysterical when no one could find Haldir.

They searched for days. It could have been weeks. Glorfindel was not sure. He did not notice the passing of time. His only thought was to find Haldir and tell the younger elf that he loved him.

After the first week, many had given up the Lorien elf for dead. Even the twins, Elrond and Ecthelion. But Glorfindel could not accept it.

"Show me his body!" He had lashed out.

"Show me and I will believe you. Show me and I will give up!"

His friends had looked at him with sadness and sympathy.

"Only then will I believe." He had whispered in a choked voice.

But in truth, he would never believe. 

He resumed his search once again. Legolas and Erestor were among those who did not give up either. Eventually, everyone rejoined the search.

Glorfindel had checked every dead body in Mordor. Every time he turned over a dead elf, his heart would freeze in fear at the possibility that it could be Haldir. At times, it was too much and he would break down. But he never gave up. At night, he spoke to the March Warden as if the younger elf could hear him. But there was never an answer. Yet he continued to search.

"I love you, Haldir."

He would whisper it every night to the skies, hoping that Haldir would hear it somehow.

Then, a few weeks ago, after all the searching, Elrond had mentioned missing Rivendell and the twins had agreed. It was then that an idea hit. Maybe Haldir had gone home. That would be the first place he would go to. Sure enough, a few days later, they received a letter from Lord Celeborn.

Haldir was in Lothlorien. 

Glorfindel did not hesitate.

He packed little, and was heading out the same day that he received the letter. Two hours into the road and the rest of the party caught up.

His friends would not let him go alone.

"You might get lost." Elladan had said. They laughed, and rode off.

And from Erestor, "One of us has to be happy." His friend had whispered.

Elrond was a fool.

But right now, Glorfindel needed to find Haldir.

/When this is all over, Erestor, I will make sure both of us are happy./

They reached the Golden Woods in the midst of a beautiful day. The sun shone brightly. The beauty of the woods was accented, and wild animals sneaked about. Yet Glorfindel's mind did not comprehend his surroundings. He needed to get to Haldir.

Lord Celeborn greeted them, welcomed them, but even he noticed Glorfindel's attention was elsewhere. As soon as the travelers dismounted, Glorfindel left in search for Haldir.

He was at the foot of the March Warden's talan when he heard a loud crash. It came from inside. Glorfindel rushed up the stairs and broke into the room.

"Haldir!"

Fear that his lover was hurt forced Glorfindel to act in haste.

Haldir was sitting on the bed, staring at the table that was turned over.

"Haldir, what happened?" Glorfindel went to his lover, getting down on one knee beside Haldir so he could see the other's face.

Haldir looked at the table like it was the greatest mystery in the world. He did not even pay attention to the eldar. Not really.

"It just…fell." He whispered, brows furrowed.

"Are you alright?" Glorfindel was worried. Haldir was pale. The March Warden had lost weight and he looked…dead. Glorfindel raised a hand to the other elf's face. "Haldir?"

The March Warden turned to meet Glorfindel's eyes. For a moment, there was nothing in the younger elf's eyes that showed recognition. Then he realized who was there.

Glorfindel's worry increased when Haldir reached a trembling hand to touch him. The March Warden caressed his face, a tiny smile on the other's lips.

"You're back. Like before." Haldir whispered.

"Yes. I am back. I'm sorry it took so long."

"It's okay. You always come back. I missed you." Haldir continued to caress his face, yet there was a lost look in his eyes.

"I miss you, too. Haldir, I…I love you." Glorfindel choked out.

"I know. You always do."

Glorfindel smiled, then realized something was wrong. Haldir looked…dreamlike. Like he was not really there. And there was something else, but the eldar could not quite grasp it. Glorfindel drew the March Warden closer and was about to ask a question when a flurry of elves burst through the door.

"What happened? Who got hurt? Where are the orcs?" The twins and Haldir's brothers had their weapons drawn. Everyone else looked ready to defend and kill, if necessary.

Glorfindel kept his arms around Haldir.

"Nothing. No orcs. The table…fell."

Haldir kept caressing the eldar's face.

"Will you stay longer this time? Please? You left so suddenly the other time." Haldir's whispered plea tore at Glorfindel's heart. It sounded so hurt.

"Yes, Haldir. I am staying forever." The eldar was still slightly puzzled, but he knew he needed to reassure the younger elf. "I am never leaving you again."

The other elves shifted awkwardly, then proceeded to leave.

Ecthelion stared at the two elves holding each other and smiled. Yes, he had made the right choice.

Haldir lifted his eyes when he realized that an elf watched them by the door. 

Glorfindel felt the March Warden stiffen in his arms.

Suddenly, Haldir was gripping him tightly, crushing the eldar against his chest.

"Haldir, wha…?"

But Haldir was looking at the elf standing by the door. Fear. Haldir was afraid.

"This is my dream! Go away!" Haldir screamed.

"You already have him for real! He is mine here! Go away! Please!" Tears rolled down the distraught elf's cheeks. Glorfindel turned to see a bewildered Ecthelion staring at them.

"Haldir, it's okay." Glorfindel tried to reassure the elf in his arms.

"No! He'll take you away again." Then, turning teary eyes towards Ecthelion, "Please. This is all I have. My dream. This dream. Don't take him away. Not here. Not in my dreams. Not in the only place I can have him. You already have him for real. I am sorry. I love him so much. I want him to be happy. But I can't let him go. This is just a dream! It can't hurt you if I have my dreams. Don't take it away! Don't take him away!" Haldir's voice was filled with fear, and pain. Glorfindel's eyes began to mist.

"Haldir. Listen to me. He is not taking me away. Haldir, please listen. It's okay. I am not going anywhere."

But Haldir shook his head.

"No! He'll take you away again. Like he always does. Please! Ecthelion. Don't take him. Don't…I…I am dying anyway. I only have a few…few more days. I know because the Valar told me. I only have a few more days…Let me have this dream. Please don't take him…I love…him…love him…" Haldir's voice became a mere whisper.

Raising tear-stained cheeks to Ecthelion, Haldir pleaded the dark-haired elf.

"I love him."

Glorfindel's mind was reeling. 'I am dying…few days…Valar came…said.'

/No!/

"Haldir! Haldir, listen. Please. I am not going anywhere. I am never leaving you again! Please believe me. Please." Glorfindel was openly crying, pleading with his lover.

Haldir looked at him in the eye and the pain that Glorfindel saw there broke his heart.

"I can't." Haldir whispered to him. "You always say you won't leave me. But you always do. You always return to…to him." Haldir whispered brokenly.

Glorfindel's breath hitched. He still did not fully understand what was happening. All he knew was that Haldir was in pain and possibly dy…No. No. The eldar could not entertain the thought.

"Not this time, Haldir. I promise you. I won't leave."

Haldir still did not believe him. But the March Warden's hold on him loosened.

"So tired…so tired." Haldir whispered, slumping onto the bed.

Glorfindel helped Haldir.

"Go to sleep, then. We'll talk later." Glorfindel said in a choked voice.

"No. Don't want to sleep. You…go away when I sleep." Haldir tried to fight it, but he was so tired. His spirit was dying. 

"I won't. I promise." Glorfindel whispered.

"Yes….you…will."

"No. I won't." But Haldir was already asleep.

Glorfindel stayed where he was, beside the bed, and did not try to free himself from Haldir's fierce grip on his hand. He looked at Ecthelion.

'What have I done to him?" Glorfindel asked in a strangle tone.

/What have I done?/

He turned and looked at the sleeping elf.

"I am sorry." He whispered.

Ecthelion left to give the two time alone. He'd also rather not stay and watch. He had let Glorfindel go, accepted that the seneschal belonged to the March Warden. But there was no need to rub salt on his wounds.

With his free hand, Glorfindel gently tucked a stray hair behind Haldir's ear. The March Warden sighed and moved closer to the eldar.

He watched Haldir sleep. The younger elf was very pale. Dark circles surrounded his eyes.

"Haldir, what have you done to yourself?"

/Have I pushed you to do this? I am so sorry, melamin. So sorry./

He closed his eyes.

That was when he realized. Haldir's breathing was too shallow. He opened his eyes again, a frown appearing on his face.

Haldir did not seem to be having a nightmare. And he was sure that the younger elf was sleeping. So what was wrong?

He moved closer, bringing his face to Haldir's, listening.

Then he smelled something.

Blood.

Frantic, Glorfindel checked Haldir. When his hand grazed over the slumbering elf's chest, Haldir whimpered, but did not rouse from his sleep. The eldar paused. Carefully, he opened Haldir's robe.

"Oh Gods."

A large wound ran across the March Warden's pale skin. Though it was no longer bleeding, it has not even closed yet, obvious that it was only recent. It could not have been from the war.

"Haldir, what happened?" Glorfindel whispered. Haldir moved in his sleep but did not wake.

"Did you do this? Haldir…" Tears formed in the eldar's eyes. He closed the robe, and pulled the blanket over Haldir. The he was moving towards the door, calling Elrond and the others.

TBC

A/N: I have considered all that you have told me and came up with a compromise. I have already decided which elf/elves would die. BWAHAHAHAHA. I think it's acceptable. The one/s I have chosen kinda…need it. Seriously. *hint* 


	18. chapter 18

Disclaimer: Tolkien's characters. My mind.

WARNING: THIS IS **SLASH. **It involves male relationships where a female is absent. Romantic relationships. Yes. It means to males with the hots for each other.

A/N: Not yet the end. Okay, the one chapter end turned into a gazillion more. Don't know. I just know the end is near. I don't know how near though. So keep reading. This entire chap is for Haldir. 

Cold. It was so cold. And lonely.

Haldir shivered and wrapped his arms around his body. He sat down and curled himself into a tight ball. It was so cold.

He was wearing a thin white robe. It did nothing to keep the cold out.

Why was he cold? Elves don't feel the cold.

He looked around.

Nothing. He couldn't see anything. Just smoke. Or fog. White fog everywhere.

"You are back again."

Haldir turned to look at the voice. It was a woman. 

She wore a beautiful white robe. And her smile…her smile was glorious.

And her presence took away the cold.

She held out her hand towards Haldir.

"Come, child. Let us walk."

Haldir stared at her. She looked familiar. Where had he seen her before?

"You were here a few days ago. Now, you are here again. You seem determined, Haldir. Why?"

Haldir frowned, still not taking the offered hand, but his hold on himself loosened.

/A few days ago? Here? When…/

"Mandos." Haldir whispered as he remembered. He looked at the woman. "Vairye."

The woman was Vairye, wife of Manwe.

He was in Mandos' Halls.

"Am I…" Haldir whispered.

Vairye shook her head.

"Not yet. Come, walk with me."

Haldir finally took her hand.

She helped him up, and the fog disappeared.  Suddenly they were standing in Lothlorien.

"What…?"

"It is a vision. Your vision of home." Vairye told him. 

Hand in hand, they wandered through the Golden Woods.

"Why am I here?" Haldir asked.

"Why, Haldir, you came here."

"I don't understand. Am I…you said I am not…dead."

"No, you are not."

"Then how can I be here? Am I here?"

Vairye laughed.

"Of course you are here. Like you were days ago. How can you be here? Well, somehow, you wish to die, but cannot completely let go. That's why you return to Middle Earth even after you've come here."

Haldir looked at the goddess.

"You mean elves can do that?"

Vairye laughed again.

"Only if it is not your time to die yet. And while you cannot completely let go, it is not yet your time." She explained.

They stopped, and Haldir realized they were in Lover's cove.

"Ah, the beauty of Arda in all its glory. Wouldn't you say, Haldir?"

But Haldir was busy with memories. This was a very special place in his heart.

Vairye moved forward and looked at the distant horizon.

"The most beautiful places become even more beautiful when shared with the person who is closest to your heart. The memory makes the view even better, and the place more…special." She smiled. "Wouldn't you say, Haldir?"

Haldir blinked back tears, then realized Vairye was looking at him expectantly.

"Y..yes."

Vairye shook her head and smiled. Then she took Haldir's hand and resumed their walk.

"How long are you planning to stay this time, Haldir?"

Haldir opened his mouth, then closed it again.

"I…I don't know." He couldn't even remember how long he stayed the last time.

"Of course you do."

Haldir shook his head.

"I really don't…" He paused, puzzled. Somehow he did know. "Until the pain goes away for awhile."

Vairye nodded.

"Wouldn't be long then. He is calling you."

"Who?"

Vairye patted Haldir's arm.

"Who else can take away your pain, Haldir?"

She sighed.

"That is partly why you cannot die still. His heart calls out to you. And somehow, your heart hears it. And answers."

"What…"

For the third time, Haldir was unable to finish his question.

Mists swirled and the fog was everywhere again. Then Haldir was falling.

Haldir opened his eyes to the brightness of the sun streaming through his open window. He now slept with eyes closed. Maybe because he was unusually worn down.

He tried to get up, then groaned as pain shot across his chest. He looked down and saw that his upper body was wrapped in bandages. He sank back to the bed and closed his eyes. He sighed then opened his eyes again.

Bathroom.

Haldir groaned and tried to get up. It wasn't easy. He hurt everywhere and he felt weak.

He moved his hand to the bandages.

/Damn that stupid elf. Can't do anything properly./

Haldir was able to get into a sitting position. He swung his legs onto the floor.

/Maybe I shouldn't have fought him. Just let him…/

He braced himself, one on the bed, the other on the headboard.

/No. I will fight him no matter what. There is no way I'll ever let him win./

He tried to stand.

And promptly fell onto a heap on the floor.

"Haldir!!" A voice exclaimed. Then hands were suddenly around him, lifting him, placing him back on the bed. He was about to protest, but could only stare at the elf fussing over him. The elf was Glorfindel.

"You are not strong enough to get up on your own. You should have called me if you needed something. What were you thinking?…" Glorfindel rambled while he checked the March Warden's bandages, making sure they were not torn The eldar was oblivious to Haldir staring at him, mouth slightly open in awe.

Haldir continued to stare. Was Glorfindel really here?

He gave a slight shake of his head.

/No. This must be another dream./

But Glorfindel's hands, his voice, his scent…they were real.

Haldir closed his eyes, counted to three, then opened them again.

"Did you hurt yourself? What happened? Haldir, you cannot yet get up on your own…."

Glorfindel was here. Really here.

/Why was he here? When did he arrive?/

Haldir reached out and touched Glorfindel's chest to reassure himself.

The eldar stopped talking. He looked at Haldir.

The March Warden looked at where his hand was, on his lover's chest. 

Tentatively, he moved his hand. Glorfindel's breath hitched as Haldir parted the eldar's robes and touched his skin.

Haldir felt the warmth as his hand touched the eldar's bare skin.

/Warm. He must be real./ This was what was wrong the last time. The warmth didn't feel like this.

Haldir smiled.

Then jerked back, as if burned, startling Glorfindel.

Haldir scolded himself. Glorfindel was real, but he can no longer touch the eldar. He could not touch the real Glorfindel. He had no right.

But for a moment, he forgot about everything that had happened…the war, Ecthelion…A mistake he wouldn't allow to happen again, no matter how tempting it was to just forget everything.

"Haldir, what's wrong?" Glorfindel moved closer to the March Warden, but Haldir shrank away.

"Nothing. Nothing is wrong." He said, shying away from the older elf's touch. Haldir knew Glorfindel was only taking care of him because the eldar would help anyone who needed help. Haldir could be any elf, and Glorfindel would show him the same courtesy.

/This does not mean anything! Get that through your mind./

Glorfindel longed to reach out to the younger elf, but Haldir did not seem to want to be touched.

/Or maybe just my touch./

"What…what happened?" Haldir asked quietly.

"I don't know. When we arrived, you, well, you were hurt. And delirious. Your wound…" Glorfindel paused and swallowed the lump that formed in his throat. "Haldir, what happened? Why were you wounded?"

Haldir tried to remember the events the eldar was describing. There were some vague recollections, but he could not fully remember what happened yesterday, or the other day, or whenever it was. The last thing he could remember was…

"Rhyden."

Glorfindel looked at him. "What?"

"Rhyden. He was here. We fought. He wounded me, but I hurt him as well. He…I don't know where he went. He was bleeding. I remember coming back to the talan, cleaning up, and…" Haldir tried to remember. "I can't remember."

Glorfindel sighed with relief. Haldir did not hurt himself. But Rhyden was here. He needed to warn the others, tell them to be on their guard.

"So you…don't remember yesterday?" Glorfindel awkwardly asked.

"N..no. Why? Did something happen? What did I do?"

"Nothing. You didn't do anything." Glorfindel reassured. The last thing Haldir needed was to be distressed.

A silence descended.

Haldir was promptly reminded of why he was trying to get up earlier.

He shifted awkwardly in bed.

Glorfindel noticed the younger elf's discomfort. "What is it?"

Haldir blushed and kept his eyes on his lap. "Um, I need to go to…uh…the…um…bathroom."

Glorfindel smiled.

"Let me help you."

It was not like Haldir had a choice. He put his arm around the eldar's shoulders as Glorfindel wrapped an arm around his waist…and the other under his legs.

"Um, Glorfindel?"

"It would be faster this way." Glorfindel explained. Then he lifted the Lorien elf off the bed and proceeded towards the door, his arms full of a Lorien March Warden.

Unconsciously, Haldir relaxed and leaned closer to Glorfindel. Being near the eldar felt good. For some reason, his heartache eased, the coldness lessened, and he felt a great weight lifted off him. He sighed and carefully rested his head against the eldar's shoulders.

The trip to the bathroom was far too short for Haldir. Glorfindel eased him down gently and left to give Haldir privacy.

"I'll just be outside of you need anything." He told the younger elf, then turned towards the door.

Haldir released a sigh as the door closed. His nearness to the eldar was far too short-lived. He went about to do his business.

As he was closing his robe after finishing up, flashes of Mandos went through his mind and a wave of dizziness assailed him. He braced a hand against the wall, steadying himself. Haldir began to remember where he was, his dream…non-dream. In his heart, he knew it was not something his mind created. He really went to Mandos. Twice. He remembered the first time, Manwe's words to him.

"Keep this up, March Warden, and you will be here permanently by the dawn of the new moon."

The new moon was only three weeks away. He had been told the length of time he would live while his heart continued to break. 

He did not feel any fear. He was prepared to die. Then Vairye's voice came to him.

"That is partly why you cannot die still. His heart calls out to you. And somehow, your heart hears it. And answers."

His? Whose?

/Glorfindel's? No. It cannot be him. He does not love me like that./

Haldir inhaled deeply and the dizziness ebbed away slowly. His eyes began to focus.

/But he is here. Glorfindel, why are you here?/

"Haldir? Is everything alright?" Glorfindel called from the other side of the door. Haldir glanced up.

"Yes. I am fine."

"Are you done? Do you need help?" The eldar inquired.

"No." Haldir hastily tied the robe properly and opened the door. "I am fine. Thank you." As he said the words, the dizziness returned and he would have fallen to the floor had Glorfindel not caught him.

"Careful. It's okay. I've got you."

Once again, Glorfindel carried him.

"Are you alright?" The eldar asked in a concerned voice. Haldir nodded against his lover's chest. He kept his eyes closed for to him the world was still spinning wildly.

Glorfindel put him down on the bed gently.

"Wait here. I will go get some food."

Haldir nodded without opening his eyes.

Left alone, memories of Mandos came to him once again.

/New moon. Ithil will mark my death./

Haldir smiled bitterly.

/And everything would be over./

//Do you want to die that badly, Haldir?//

Haldir's eyes flew open.

Who…?

Vairye.

//You are partly dead, March Warden. A door has opened when you first came here. It is through the same door that you return. Each visit, the door is left open a little wider than before.//

/What does it mean?/ Haldir knew the Valar could hear his thoughts.

//It means, you are connected to Mandos, Haldir. Don't you feel it?//

Haldir closed his eyes. Yes, he could feel it.

It was the dull coldness in his heart, the coldness that allowed him the bliss of numbness. It started when he had run away from the sight of Glorfindel in Ecthelion's arms in Minas Tirith. That was when he first went to Mandos.

//Yes, Haldir. That is what happened. You do not fully remember. You were in too much pain then.//

And now that he was halfway to the dark halls, the pain had begun to subside, leaving a cold, empty feeling. Occasionally, he still felt the pain. But most of the time, he felt empty.

/It is true, then. There is no pain in Mandos. Only cold./

//It does not have to be so cold, Haldir. It is your heart that is turning cold./

Of course. His heart was coping the way it knew how. To stop the pain, it shielded itself. And a protective coldness resulted.

//Only elves who are in pain feel cold in Mandos. Those who die happy are warm here.//

/Then I would be very cold, then./

//It does not have to be that way, Haldir. Look past your pain.//

Haldir did not understand what the Valar wanted him to do.

/There is nothing there./

//Isn't there, Haldir? Maybe you just refuse to see it.//

Haldir shook his head.

/But there is nothing!/

//Then nothing it shall be, Haldir.//

The March Warden opened his eyes. 

Alone again.

There was nothing there.

A shadow fell across him and Haldir moved to look at the elf who just arrived. Glorfindel came in carrying a tray full of food.

*He*was there.

Haldir shook himself. 

/No. I must have misunderstood./

'His heart calls…you answer…hear…cannot die…'

/It is not possible. He is with Ecthelion./

'I..I love you.'

/It was just a dream. He did not really say it./

'I love you, Haldir.'

/No. I can't…can't hope again. Stop doing this to yourself, Haldir! Let go./

'Can't die…can't let go…'

/No./

Yet there he was. Glorfindel.

Haldir was no longer alone.

/Perhaps he will stay until the new moon./

/Then afterwards, he will be happy with Ecthelion. And I will be…/

/Cold./

TBC

A/N: Dave Matthews Band. I am watching MTV and they are singing. No real relation really. Just thought you'd know. Hehe.

TO You all, especially the reviewers, Thank you. (I'll never get tired of saying this.). J


	19. chapter 19

Disclaimer. Tolkien characters.

Warning: SLASH.

A/N: Oh well. Just read.

Haldir ate the food Glorfindel brought him in silence. No words were exchanged. Glorfindel wanted to say something, tried to, but Haldir would only shrug it away. In the end, the eldar settled for watching Haldir.

After the meal, Haldir had felt tired, so Glorfindel urged him to sleep. As the younger elf's breathing became deep and regular, Glorfindel gathered the tray and the leftover food and left the talan.

Glorfindel found Lord Celeborn, Elrond and Erestor in the kitchens eating. He placed the tray on a table.

"How is Haldir?" Celeborn asked quietly.

"He is sleeping."

Celeborn nodded and continued to eat.

The Lord of the Golden Woods had allowed Glorfindel to take care of Haldir. He knew that that was what Haldir needed. He had visited the March Warden earlier and was satisfied to find the other elf was resting.

Celeborn felt guilty that he did not see what was happening to Haldir. But there were only a few elves in the Golden Woods now. With rogue orcs running around, Celeborn had become busier. It was also for that reason that Orophin and Rumil were absent during Haldir's confrontation with Rhyden, and why they were also unable to realize that Haldir's health was failing. They were always on patrol. In fact, right now, Haldir's brothers were once again patrolling, together with the twins and Ecthelion. And the few hours they have for free, they spent resting, too tired to really realize anything. And the Golden Woods was wide, more so now that only a few of them occupy the place. Sometimes, weeks would pass without them seeing each other.

"Are you not going to eat, Glorfindel?" Erestor asked the eldar who was on his way back to the talan.

"Later. I want to sit with Haldir. He might need something."

"Then bring some food. I don't know why you didn't eat with him."

Glorfindel looked at the floor.

"I am not really that hungry." He said then went out the door.

The three elves looked at each other. Then Erestor stood up and followed his friend.

"Glorfindel, wait."

The seneschal paused at the foot of Haldir's talan.

"What's wrong?" Erestor asked. He knew there was something wrong with his friend, even though Glorfindel was trying to hide it.

Glorfindel hesitated for a moment.

"It's Haldir."

"I thought he was okay? Lord Elrond checked."

Glorfindel shook his head.

"I know. It was just something he said. When we arrived, he was…delirious. And he…he told me…" For some reason, tears welled up and he couldn't say the words.

Erestor placed a hand on Glorfindel's shoulder, and the eldar shook himself.

"He said he was dying. Said the Valar told him." He slowly exhaled after saying the words. Fear lingered in his heart.

Erestor looked shocked at first, but was able to recover quickly.

"The Valar?"

"Yes. He said they told him. He was telling Ecthelion, asking if…if he could just have the few days with me. Of course he thought he was dreaming." Glorfindel once again felt pain as he remembered Haldir's plea. It clawed at his heart.

/How could I have hurt you so badly, Haldir?/

Glorfindel looked at Erestor.

"Maybe it was just a dream. The Valar would not…I mean…No. He can't be dying. He just can't be. I won't let him."

"It must…could be just a…a…dream." The adviser whispered, but he sounded like he didn't believe a word of it.

"I know. I guess I am overreact…Erestor?" Glorfindel watched his friend's dazed eyes. "Erestor, what's wrong?"

"I.." Erestor closed his eyes and breathed deeply. "I…I don't know if it's the same…But it, it must be a dream."

Erestor was not sure he should tell the eldar. It might be an entirely different matter all together. But what if it was the same? It is very likely. Haldir was in deep pain.

"What's the same? Erestor, what do you know?"

"Let's sit down first." Erestor suggested. He needed to warn his friend at least. He could not risk losing the March Warden.

Glorfindel pulled him down to sit on the forest floor. Erestor sighed and allowed himself to be pulled down.

"What is it?"

"Look. I don't know if…it's the same. I could be wrong. Maybe it is something entirely different. It could really be just a dream with Haldir."

"Erestor? Please, start making sense."

"I once had dreams that the Valar visited me. Only they weren't dreams. They were real."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I really was dying."

"What? When? Are you…?"

"No. I am not. I…was. But not now."

"When? What happened?"

Erestor looked away. For a moment, he was tempted not to answer. But then Glorfindel would not leave it alone and may tell the others."

"You know I've…had feelings for Elrond….for a long time."

"You are in love with him." Glorfindel clarified. Erestor blushed. He did not feel comfortable when his feelings for Elrond were said aloud.

"Er…yes. Even before you came to Rivendell…"

"I know that."

"Glorfindel, stop interrupting."

"Sorry." The eldar mumbled.

"I have been in love with him even before he met Celebrian. I had hopes that maybe he'd develop the same feelings for me. For years, I waited, dropped hints, came extremely close to telling him, but fear kept me back." Erestor closed his eyes. "Actually, I did tell him." He drew a shaky breath and Glorfindel placed his hand on his friend's.

Erestor smiled and continued.

"He had just gotten back from Lothlorien after months of being away. I had missed him. Something was different, but I couldn't tell why then. He just seemed…happier for some reason. The Rivendell elves threw him a welcome party. He got drunk. He had indulged the other elves in a drinking game and he…lost, I guess you could say. He couldn't even stand on his own. So, as always, I brought him to his room. As I was laying him down…he wouldn't let go. I laughed it off. Then he pulled me down on the bed with him."

Erestor laughed, but it sounded hollow.

"It was a kiss that went out of hand. He was drunk, and I had some wine too, and I have…I was too weak to resist. I deluded myself into thinking he was in love with me and now he was finally showing it and, well, all that. We made love…no. We engaged in intercourse, but it was not really making love." He waved his hand in the air.

"It was the happiest moment of my life. I know I was smiling when I fell asleep. That night, more than once, I told him I loved him. The next morning, I woke up first, and went down to get him breakfast. I…I guess I took too long or something. When I returned, he was already awake. He smiled at me, I smiled back. He thanked me for breakfast, said I shouldn't have bothered. I said I wanted to. At first I didn't get it. When he turned to sit down, I almost kissed him. Almost."

Erestor's voice shook slightly. 

"But then he spoke. And I am forever grateful that I didn't kiss him, or that he didn't see me almost do it. You see, he…told me he had a dream. I smiled, wanted to tell him it wasn't a dream."

Erestor's mind once again replayed the events of that day, so long ago, but forever engraved in his mind.

*"Erestor, I had the most wonderful dream."

"Oh?" Erestor smiled.

"You wonder why I've…changed. That's because I am happy. I think…I am in love."

Erestor's heart soared.

"And last night, I dreamed I was with her."

It took a moment for Elrond's words to sink in. Her. Erestor's happiness shattered and for a moment he could not see anything. The room spun and he almost fell. But he didn't. He stood there and pretended that nothing happened. Inside, his heart broke into a million pieces. But his face showed none of it. 

Elrond continued to talk, but Erestor was no longer listening. Elrond was too distracted to notice that Erestor had become very still, and all color had gone from his adviser's face.*

Erestor shook his head and came back.

"Erestor. I am…I don't know what to say." Glorfindel couldn't believe what he had just learned. Erestor had never told him this before.

Erestor only shrugged.

"There's nothing to say. Look, don't say anything to anyone. I will kill you. Elrond doesn't remember. Until now. And I don't ever want him to know. I only told you because I need you to understand how…grave the situation could be. After it happened, I lived in a world of pain. I was able to mask it perfectly, but at night, when I was alone, I couldn't pretend. When Elrond married Celebrian, I couldn't handle it. Finally, I wasn't strong enough to fight it anymore. I collapsed, or at least that's what Lindir told me. He found me unconscious in my room. He wanted to call Elrond, but I wouldn't let him. A few weeks after that, I began having dreams. I dreamed I was in Mandos' Halls. I talked to Manwe, Vairye, a lot of them. I knew then that I was dying. Then Manwe confirmed it. Told me I was dying. And I was. He even told me how long I had to live. They were never dreams."

Glorfindel remembered Haldir's words. 'A few days…'

/No./

"And the day came, and I died. I stayed in my room, locked the door, and I waited. It came, and I welcomed it."

Glorfindel's brow furrowed. 

"I didn't want anyone's help. I didn't want to be saved. All I wanted was to die. That was all. So I never told anyone. Glorfindel, Haldir may be feeling the same, that could be why he is hiding his condition, even from his brothers. That he told you could have only been an accident. You said yourself he thought it was nothing but a dream. Elrond could not detect it because it could not be detected."

Erestor sighed. "It was so easy. All I had to do was let go. Be happy for him, or accept that he couldn't love me. You see, an elf dies of a broken heart because he has lost all hope and his heart turns cold. My heart did. I could feel it. But…"

The adviser looked up at the sky. "But I couldn't let go completely. Obviously, I am still alive. For some reason, I wouldn't let go of something. I just…Suddenly, I didn't want to die. I can't explain it yet. But the point is, I had the will to live. Nobody even knew that I had died. I came back the same day. I don't know what happened. Whatever it was, the Valar had not allowed me to remember."

Erestor looked at Glorfindel.

"I do not know what happened in Mandos. But I was given a reason to live. By the Valar. But I know you can save Haldir. Give him a reason to live, Glorfindel. Or you will lose him. Don't let him shut you out."

"You mean…"

"Yes, Glorfindel. He is dying. The Valar does not visit just anyone. Seeing you kiss Ecthelion twice, thinking you have chosen Ecthelion, not knowing you love him, thinking that you never did…Honestly, I don't know how he was able to survive this long thinking you do not love him."

Glorfindel did not hear anything past Haldir dying.

"He is strong. But even the strong fall."

"No." The eldar whispered.

Glorfindel felt fear surge through him and he bolted up the stairs. Halfway, he paused and looked back. Erestor only smiled and waved, indicating him to go ahead. 

"Will you be alright? I.."

"What happened to me happened a very long time ago, Glorfindel. There is nothing that could be done about it. I am fine. Go to Haldir and do not lose him."

"Thank you." Glorfindel nodded and continued on his way.

Erestor watched Glorfindel disappear into the talan.

"I hope you get to him in time, Glorfindel. Otherwise, all may be lost. I may have returned, but I have never been the same."

Erestor glanced at the sky again.

"Dying can change you. Make you believe things, or stop you from believing."

The adviser placed a palm over his heart.

"The heart grows cold. And when you pass the final stage, it will never warm again." Erestor continued to whisper into the wind.

"I still feel my love for Elrond, Glorfindel. But it's different."

Erestor returned his gaze to where Glorfindel had entered the talan.

"Where once being in love filled you with hope, you become hopeless. You can feel the pain, but never the luxury of happiness."

Indeed, for all the years that Erestor had grown closer to Elrond, for some reason he could not be happy, even when he was with the other elf. When normally, an elf in love would feel  great happiness in the smallest of things with someone he loves, Erestor could not. He could only feel the pain. 

"Why did you send me back to this fate, Valar?" For the past thousands of years, Erestor had been asking that question. But he was never answered.

Erestor sighed. They would never answer, of course.

"Please, do not do this to Haldir. He is…he does not deserve this."

Glorfindel entered the room quietly. He carefully sat beside Haldir on the bed. Haldir was sleeping peacefully.

"I love you, Haldir." He whispered as he reached up to caress Haldir's face. The March Warden sighed and snuggled closer to the eldar. 

"Please don't die. I..I won't let you." He continued.

"I am sorry for the pain I've caused you. I know this is because of me. And I am sorry, Haldir. So sorry. I am sorry I waited this long. I am sorry it TOOK me this long. I am sorry for hurting you. I never meant to. I swear. I…" Tears clogged his throat.

/I won't take any longer. I promise. We will talk, as soon as you wake up. I only hope I am not too late. I can't be./

He bestowed a gentle kiss on Haldir's lips.

/If I am, then I will follow you to Mandos' Halls./

Glorfindel suddenly needed to hear the beat of Haldir's heart. Maybe then, his fear would ease, assure him he still had a chance.

He leaned forward, careful not to press too hard, and placed his ear against the younger elf's chest. He closed his eyes and listened, the rhythm sending a calmness to the eldar's own heart.

The March Warden moved and Haldir's arms were suddenly around him. Glorfindel was startled, but welcomed them. Moving carefully, he repositioned until he was lying on the bed, Haldir's head on his shoulder, and their bodies pressed close together,

"I love you." He whispered once more, and held Haldir in his arms.

Haldir, responding to the familiar warmth, burrowed closer, hugging Glorfindel back.

"..findel.." The March Warden mumbled, pressing even closer, if possible.

After a while, Glorfindel fell asleep.

Haldir looked around him. He was still in Mandos, as he was a few minutes ago. But now, it was no longer cold.

"Vairye?" He called out, knowing that only the goddess could make the cold go away. But she was not there.

"Okay, what is going on now?" He muttered under is breath. He never knew what to expect everytime he came here, especially since he didn't fully remember the events of his…visits.

He was surrounded by the fog again, and he still wore the same robe as the last time. He walked around for a while, but all he could see was the white blanket covering everything. Finally, he stopped, and waited.

"Haldir."

He turned to see Vairye, smiling at him. 

"I see you have warmed up. That is good."

Haldir frowned.

"I didn't do this. I thought you did."

Vairye laughed softly.

"No, Haldir. This is you. Your heart. It feels warm."

The March Warden doubted it. Although now that he thought about it, he did feel better. More…comfortable. At peace.

"I don't know why. Nothing has changed."

"Really, Haldir? Are you sure?" Vairye's eyes twinkled. Haldir knew she knew something. But of course. She was, after all, a goddess.

She touched his cheek. "Maybe you should wake up."

Before he could respond, the ground beneath him disappeared and he plunged downward.

Haldir opened his eyes slowly. Then he was awake enough to realize someone was holding him, in bed with him, and there was no mistaking who it was.

Glorfindel.

/Why…Oh no. Don't tell me I pulled him down with me./

He did not want to leave Glorfindel's arms, but he was afraid of what would happen if the eldar suddenly woke up. He didn't think he could bear Glorfindel's rejection, much worse, his understanding.

/Your kindness will be more painful than a rejection. I can't bear for you to look at me with sympathy, Glorfindel./

Carefully, he tried to disentangle himself. It was not easy. They were holding each other very closely. Then there was also the wound on his chest that was making it difficult for him to move.

As he made to push away from the eldar, the arms around him tightened, holding him in lace. Haldir let out a grunt as the action brought him closer, and pressure was put on his chest.

Glorfindel was awakened by the sound of pain Haldir made. He was suddenly looking into the eyes of the March Warden who froze when Glorfindel stirred awake.

They stared at each other, lovers lost in each other's eyes.

Finally, Glorfindel spoke.

"Where are you going?"

Haldir blushed and did not know what to say. Glorfindel was too close, and the eldar was looking at him like…like…

/No!/

The younger elf swallowed and tried to move away, but Glorfindel wouldn't let him.

Now Haldir was really in trouble, because the movements brought him closer, pressed him closer. Chest to chest, legs entwined, arousal to hip.

Haldir suddenly stopped resisting, stiffening. There was no way that Glorfindel could not know of Haldir's response to their closeness.

"I..I am sorry." Haldir stammered.

"Why?"

Haldir did not know how to answer that. He did not know what the eldar was asking him.

/Why? We are…/

"We are no longer lovers. I shouldn't…I…"

Glorfindel leaned forward, pushing until Haldir was flat on his back on the bed. Then he leaned forward and kissed Haldir softly. It was a gentle kiss, not sexual. He gently brushed their lips together. He let their lips continue to touch as his tongue snaked out to trace Haldir's top lip, then the lower, then he slipped between them. Haldir moaned and parted his mouth, allowing Glorfindel to enter. His arms wound around the eldar's neck.

But Glorfindel kept their contact minimum. He concentrated on the kiss, and didn't do anything else.

Haldir's mind went into chaos. All he could feel was Glorfindel. The world disappeared, and so did his pain. He forgot where they were, what they were not any longer.

Glorfindel continued to explore Haldir's mouth. He ran his tongue inside the roof of the moist cavern, pushed and danced with Haldir's tongue, and tried to get even closer to the March Warden.

Finally, Glorfindel drew back. Haldir protested and tried to pull Glorfindel back. The eldar only smiled and place a hand on Haldir's cheek.

"Haldir, we need to talk first." He whispered.

Glorfindel's words brought Haldir back to reality. His face flushed and he shrank back.

/What was I thinking?/

"I..I am sorry. I didn't mean to.." Haldir tried to move away, but Glorfindel wouldn't let him. "I know you didn't…mean anything…by it. I..

"Haldir, I kissed you. I definitely meant something by it."

Haldir fell silent. Puzzlement, fear, and a ray of hope shone in his eyes. Glorfindel swallowed the lump that formed in his throat.

"I love you, Haldir."

TBC

A/N: Tell me what you did not like. I'd rather know. Need a poll. Do you wanna know what happens to erestor here? The original plan was to have it as a one shot separate story. You know, I'll just mention that this happened to him and the explanation would be in another story, or do you want me to just integrate it all here? That's all.

A/N: What happened to erestor was actually based on an event that two friends of mine experienced. Until now, the other still cannot remember that something had happened that night, and the other one is not talking (neither is the rest of the group.). I had wanted to say something but it was years ago. You know why it's unforgettable aside from the obvious? It coincided with the Sept 11 attack. It was the very night after the attack. We had decided to skip classes and well, things happened. Moral: Let's not get too drunk.

PLEASE REVIEW!

AND THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!!!


	20. chapter 20

Disclaimer: Characters belong to JRRT.

Warning: SLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SLASH!

A/N: Hehehehehehehe. This is getting longer and longer than the original plan. This is what happens when I keep editing. I keep getting ideas! You want this to end? Kill the muse.

"I love you, Haldir."

Glorfindel waited. His heart hammered in his chest. Still, Haldir remained silent, unmoving. Glorfindel suddenly feared that he may have made a mistake. Or maybe he was too late?

/No! I can't be!/

"Haldir?" Glorfindel whispered, looking at the other elf's face for any sign of…anything.

Glorfindel began to wonder if Haldir had heard him.

"Haldir, I love you." He said again, louder this time, desperation making his voice a little gruff.

This time, the March Warden closed his eyes. Glorfindel could feel the elf in his arms shake as Haldir drew a deep breath.

"Glorfindel," Haldir whispered as he opened his eyes, gazing at the fearful look of the eldar. "my death is not your fault."

Glorfindel did not understand at first.

/Death?/

"Haldir what are you…" Then he realized what Haldir had thought…the March Warden thought…

Glorfindel shook his head frantically, his arms around Haldir tightening, as if to make sure the March Warden would not escape.

"Haldir, it's not…like that. I am not saying this…because of what's happening to you, which I won't allow. Well, partly it is, but not because of what you think. I am not saying I love you because I feel guilty."

Glorfindel looked into Haldir's eyes, moving his hand to cup Haldir's face.

"I am saying it because I do."

Haldir's face filled with pain, and he shook his head, denying what Glorfindel was saying. Tears flowed from his eyes, and rolled down his cheeks.

/Not now! Why only now?/

"No." He sobbed. "You don't. You can't. No!" He began to struggle, pushing Glorfindel away.

"No! No!" He yelled.

Glorfindel was not prepared for Haldir's sudden outburst and found himself pushed out of the bed. Before he could get up, the March Warden ran out the door.

"Haldir!" Glorfindel called out, running after the fleeing elf. 

"Haldir, Stop!" He shouted again, but the March Warden kept running. Down the talan, into the woods.

Glorfindel could not afford to lose sight of his lover. He did not understand what just happened, or why. He had to get to Haldir.

/Haldir, what is it?/

A million questions raced through his mind as he ran after the elf he loved. 

/Haldir./

Glorfindel was not letting him go. Not like this.

/I love you, Haldir. I will not lose you. Not while you love me too. Give me a chance. Please./

Haldir may have been injured. But adrenaline, and a desperate need to get away fueled him, giving him speed and strength that Glorfindel had not counted on.

/Haldir./

Glorfindel ran faster. He needed to catch the March Warden.

/What if he doesn't love me?/

For a moment, the question made Glorfindel doubt, and almost stumble when his steps faltered. But he regained and continued the chase.

/No. He loves me. Otherwise, he wouldn't be… It's my fault./

Glorfindel skidded to a halt.

Haldir had stopped running. He was on the ground, kneeling, arms around himself, rocking himself. He was crying.

Glorfindel felt tears well up inside him. He cautiously made his way to his lover. He dropped on his knees beside Haldir.

Tentatively, he reached out a hand and placed it on Haldir's shoulder. The March Warden looked at him, tears running down his cheeks.

"You can't love me!" Haldir whispered raggedly. "You can't."

"Why?" Glorfindel asked.

"Because it's too late!" Haldir cried, his voice once again shouting. He desperately needed Glorfindel to understand.

Hands shaking, he reached out and clasped the eldar's hands and held them against his chest.

"Glorfindel, you love Ecthelion. Not me. You love him. Him!" 

Glorfindel shook his head.

"No! You love him! You have to love him now!" Haldir screamed. "Not me! Not now!" It wasn't fair. Why couldn't Glorfindel have loved him a month ago? Why now, when he was dying? When they had no future?

/No! He doesn't love me. He just thinks he does. He loves Ecthelion. Oh Valar, please. Don't let me hurt him! I love him too much to hurt him!/

The eldar moved closer, trying to free his hands in the process so he could gather the distressed elf in his arms. But Haldir wouldn't let go.

"Haldir, I love you. I'm sorry if it's upset you. But I do. And I don't understand."

Haldir was shaking his head again, then he looked at the eldar, his eyes pleading.

"Glorfindel, please. Love Ecthelion. Not me. It's too late. It's too late for me."

"Haldir, what are you talking about?"

Haldir closed his eyes.

"You were in love with him! You chose him and I've accepted that. I..I've a..acc.cep.t..ted….accepted that!"

"Haldir…"

"No! You can't love me! I won't let you!" 

Glorfindel was taken by surprise when Haldir pushed him away. Gathering himself, he made a move towards the other elf.

"No!"

Glorfindel never expected Haldir to hit him. But the other elf suddenly swung and the eldar found himself face to face with the forest floor, his jaw hurting from the impact with the other elf's fist.

Shaking his head, he stood up and braced for another attack. But Haldir was huddled against a tree.

"Can't love me. Won't let you. Love Ecthelion! You chose him! Love him. Not me. Please. It's too late." Haldir whispered, over and over again, pleading with the eldar. Glorfindel carefully made his way to Haldir. But when he tried to touch the other elf, Haldir launched another attack. But this time, the eldar was prepared.

Glorfindel captured Haldir's hands in his. Using his body, he pushed until they were on the ground, the eldar on top of Haldir, pinning him to the ground.

"Haldir!" He shouted. "Stop!"

The March Warden stopped his movements, but the tears continued.

Glorfindel sighed and placed his forehead against Haldir's.

"Please, Haldir. What's wrong? Don't you want me to love you?"

"No!"

"Why not? Is it because you don't love me anymore?"

"NO!" Haldir shouted. "I love you! I will always love you! Don't you dare say that!"

"Then what is it? Why don't you want me to love you?"

Haldir's body grew limp, as if he finally stopped fighting.

"Because you can't."

"But I already do. I have. For a long time. I think ever since the beginning, when we were at lover's cove and made love…"

"Stop." Haldir said in an anguished voice.

"Haldir. Help me understand."

"It's too late, Glorfindel. I am dying. You can't love me. I'll be dead in a few…"

Glorfindel covered Haldir's mouth with his hand.

"No."

Haldir moved his head to the side.

"Yes. I'll be dead in a few days. That's why you can't love me. I don't want to hurt you. Be with Ecthelion. He'll make you happy. Maybe you just think that you love me."

"I KNOW that I love you, Haldir. And you are not dying."

Haldir closed his eyes.

"Glorfindel, please don't do this. I don't want to hurt you. I love you too much. Don't do this. I will be gone in a few days. Damn it! This was supposed to be so simple. You are supposed to be with Ecthelion forever. You chose him. I accepted it. I can die in peace, knowing you will be happy!" The tears started again.

"Haldir, I did not choose Ecthelion. I chose you. I am sorry that I took this long to tell you. I was stupid. But not anymore. I love you, Haldir. WE will be together forever. We will be happy."

"No, we won't. I am dying."

"I won't let you."

"You can't stop it."

"Yes, I can."

"No. You can't. Don't love me, Glorfindel."

"It's too late. I already love you. I can stop this. I won't let you die.."

Haldir closed his eyes and shook his head.

"You are stubborn." He whispered.

"So are you." Glorfindel returned. "And I love you for that."

Haldir sighed and gave up. "I WILL die."

"No. You won't."

The two elves fell silent, yet both not giving up the argument. The sounds of the forest grew louder.

"Are you hurt?" Glorfindel asked, breaking the silence when he remembered Haldir's injury.

"No." It wasn't a lie. Somehow, Haldir's chest didn't hurt anymore. /But it should. This is not right./

"Let's go back to the talan." Glorfindel stood, and assisted Haldir on his feet. Then he hauled the younger elf in his arms before Haldir could protest.

"I can walk." Haldir said, though he didn't struggle.

"I know. But you'll need your strength."

Haldir looked at Glorfindel. Desire and love burned in the eldar's eyes.

"I love you." Glorfindel said to him. In his eyes, Haldir could see what the eldar had in mind when they reached his talan.

"Glorfindel…" He whispered as he rested his head against the eldar's shoulder.

"I love you, Haldir. Nothing you say will change that."

Haldir sighed. He closed his eyes. He was too tired to fight. Too tired. And he had been waiting forever to hear what Glorfindel was telling him now. But he knew he could not allow it. But to be Glorfindel's lover again…this time loved…It was too tempting.

/Just…one more time. He does not love me…he can't…he…/ 

"Yes, Haldir. I do."

Haldir gave up the argument.

Glorfindel placed Haldir gently on the bed. Then he proceeded to remove Haldir's clothes.

The younger elf did not protest, though he did not help either. He watched as the eldar removed his clothing. No words were spoken.

When Haldir was naked, Glorfindel removed his own clothes then joined the March Warden on the bed. He pulled the blanket over their nude forms, and gathered Haldir into his arms, tucking the other's head under his chin.

"Glorfindel?"

"Sleep, Haldir. I do not want to hurt you. We will sleep together for now. We will make love when you are better."

Haldir sighed. "I've done nothing but sleep, Glorfindel. I was asleep only a few minutes ago. I cannot go to sleep again this soon."

Glorfindel smiled. "Haldir, you are recovering. You need to rest."

"I cannot force myself to rest. Besides, I think I've rested enough anyway."

Glorfindel continued to smile.

"Then what do you want to do, Haldir?"

Haldir fell silent. He knew what he wanted to do. Only he couldn't.

/You have to let him go, Haldir. You cannot be selfish. You will only hurt him!/

"Fine. I will sleep."

Somehow, Glorfindel knew what went on in Haldir's mind.

/I am not letting you off that easy, Haldir./

Still, the eldar hesitated. He did not want to hurt Haldir. What if his younger lover was not ready? 

//He will be fine! Now make him happy, Glorfindel of Gondolin. Or I will make you very sorry!//

Glorfindel was startled. Who was…?

/Manwe?/

But the god did not respond. Glorfindel smiled at the ceiling of the talan.

/Thank you./

Haldir was not going to die. 

/I promise I will make him happy./

//Be sure to do that. Otherwise, you will lose him. I promise you that. His recovery is not complete yet.//

Glorfindel understood. This was his only chance. And he could still lose Haldir. 

//Until the new moon, Glorfindel. If you cannot heal him by then…//

/I will not lose him!/

Haldir had closed his eyes as he was wont to do during the past few months, trying to go to sleep. But he was too awake, too not tired. And Glorfindel was too close for comfort. Oh, he liked being in his lover's arms. But they had not been together for a while and Haldir missed him. It was evident in the way his body responded to Glorfindel's heat.

Haldir needed a cold swim in the lake.

"Are you asleep?" Glorfindel asked quietly.

"No. I am trying to. Stop disturbing me." Haldir said, annoyed. He wasn't really being disturbed. It's only that Glorfindel was too close. But he knew if he tried to move away, the eldar would bring him closer.

"Would you like some help?"

"What hel.." Haldir gasped and his body arched when Glorfindel's fingers closed around his aching arousal.

Glorfindel caressed the head with his thumb. Then he gently squeezed. Haldir nearly screamed.

"G..Glor.f..fin..del…?"

"To relax. It will be easier to sleep when you are relaxed." Glorfindel kissed the top of Haldir's head while he continued to work on the March Warden's arousal.

Haldir was shaking, tremors rocking his body. They had been apart for too long. After all the pain that he had gone through, Haldir's body had become more eager for Glorfindel's touch.

Haldir gripped the sheets. His hips arched of the bed and he moaned.

Glorfindel continued to caress, tug, squeeze, and massage Haldir into completion.

It didn't take long. Haldir came with a scream, spraying the sheet covering them with his seed, as well as his thighs, belly, and Glorfindel's fingers.

After the tremors, Haldir lay limply against Glorfindel.

Supporting himself on his elbow, Glorfindel watched Haldir's satisfied expression and smiled. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against Haldir's. He still held the younger elf's flaccid cock in his other hand. Moving his hand up and down, then cupping the balls, nudging the inner thighs, teasing the slit, Glorfindel smiled when he felt Haldir's arousal return.

Haldir's eyes grew wide when he felt himself begin to harden again. He met the eldar's eyes and he saw the twinkle in them.

"Glorfindel?"

"I believe you can handle eight times, Haldir. And you need to be completely relaxed. I am going to be making sure that you are."

/Oh Gods./ Haldir looked at Glorfindel in disbelief. Surely the eldar didn't mean to make him come eight times! By hand!

"Glorfindel." Haldir's voice was slightly…fearful.

The eldar kissed him on the nose, and smiled.

"Relax, love. Enjoy the ride. I love you."

Haldir's breath hitched and his heart hammered in his chest. There was no way he could stop this, partly because he didn't want to.

He closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensations coursing through him.

"No, you…Ahhh!..don't" The last word came out a whimper, Haldir's hips moving, thrusting against the eldar's hand.

"Yes, I do. Very much." Glorfindel replied, keeping a steady rhythm.

"You can't…"

"Oh, but I do."

"I won't..ahh..let you."

"Not your choice, love."

Haldir was about to retort but his word became moans of pleasure as Glorfindel intensified the strokes. Afterwards, he was too mindless to argue.

Glorfindel pleasured Haldir until the younger elf was exhausted. It only took four until Haldir could no longer move.

Smiling smugly, Glorfindel gathered the March Warden in his arms after cleaning him up with a cloth.

"I love you."

Haldir's eyes were already closed.

"No…won't let…you." Haldir mumbled, but he was falling into deep reverie.

"I love you, Haldir."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Sleep, Haldir."

Silence.

"And yes, I love you."

"No."

"Yes."

Haldir fell asleep at last.

Glorfindel pressed his lips against Haldir's temple.

"I love you. And I will do everything to get you to accept it. It's not too late."

Glorfindel glanced at the sleeping figure in his arms.

"I love you so much."

TBC

A/N: After all the things Haldir went through, I think him hitting Glorfi is justified. Hehehe. I have not made a decision about elrond and erestor. We'll see what my mood will be. And then there's what happens to Ecthe. But that is already semi-decided. Unless I have another mood swing. And I have not yet forgotten about the elf deaths/s. What else? Oh yeah, what do you think about Vairye and Manwe? 

THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS. I will think about your suggestions. Thanks for sharing with me. It definitely helped. Thankies again!!!


	21. chapter 21

Disclaimer: Tolkien's.

Warning: Slash! Meaning two males together.

A/N: Okay, this chap's not all that and it's kinda cut short. I just needed to post something to let you know that I may not be able to post for a while. I'll be busy in real life and the next chap may not be posted till Aug. 19. I am so sorry, but I've been in hell for a week and will be for the next two. I hope you will be able to wait. Thanks.

"Vairye! Vairye!" Haldir called the goddess. His voice held a desperate note.

"What is it, Haldir?" The goddess appeared beside him, smiling. Haldir whirled around to face her.

"Vairye, please. Make him stop."

Vairye gestured Haldir to sit beside the fountain that formed out of the mist. They were in Lothlorien again. Trees surrounded them. It was warm.

Haldir obeyed. Vairye looked at him.

"Make who stop, Haldir?" She asked.

"Glorfindel. He has to stop loving me."

Vairye cocked her head.

"So you do believe that he loves you."

Haldir frowned. He opened his mouth, then closed it.

"You mean…he doesn't?"

The winds changed and the place became colder. The trees surrounding them became bare as the leaves turned brown and fell.

"Haldir, I did not say that."

"But…"

Vairye sighed. "Haldir, I just pointed out an observation. I was not saying he doesn't love you. He defied the Valar to be with you. Of course he loves you." 

Haldir suddenly looked up from where he was staring at the pool beneath the fountain.

"What?"

Vairye smiled. "Why do you want to make him stop loving you?"

"Because I will hurt him. I am dying. And when I do…"

Vairye picked a brown leaf floating on the pool waters.

"You sound sure that you will die."

"I…am. Manwe said…I mean…"

"You think what he said was a death sentence? Haldir, to die of a broken heart means you have lost all hope of having your love requited."

"But it's already broken."

"Even the broken can be mended, Haldir. Don't you want to be with him?"

Haldir sighed.

"More than anything."

"But you are afraid this is another dream? Or that he would change his mind?"

Haldir took a deep breath and looked at the goddess. 

"It's just…ever since I was a child, I have heard stories of Glorfindel. He was a legend. A hero, someone I looked up to. He was a renowned warrior. He killed a balrog. I listen to stories of his feats before I go to sleep at night." Haldir paused briefly. "When I got older, I began to hear another set of stories. This time it was about another side of him, but nonetheless as legendary and…respected. It was about a great love between two great warriors."

Vairye nodded in understanding. "Ecthelion and Glorfindel."

"Yes. Their love was unrivaled. It was pure, and real, and…great. It was beyond anything anyone has ever known."

"And you wonder if you destroyed it? Or if you can rival with it?"

Haldir couldn't look her in the eye.

"I saw them together. I saw what other people saw. I saw the love that was where the stories came from."

Haldir closed his eyes. "They were meant to be." He whispered.

"This is what you have been telling yourself the past month, isn't it? Accepting it?"

"Yes. And I've accepted it. Maybe Glorfindel feels guilty that he has hurt me. But…he is meant for Ecthelion! No matter how I wish that it could be me."

Vairye shook her head again.

"I thought you believed that he loved you."

"He does. That's why he came to me. But it can't be as great as the love he feels for Ecthelion!"

"Then you have nothing to worry about. If his love for Ecthelion is that great, and his love for you is not, then he would not die of a broken heart when you die, would he?"

Haldir fell silent. It was suppose to relieve him, knowing that he would not send Glorfindel to his death. But strangely, it hurt. 

"Oh. Right. Of course." He tried to smile, but failed. "He would not die because of me. It's ridiculous."

/His love for you is not that great! Why would it be? You were worried for nothing! You think too much of yourself!/ Haldir berated himself.

"I can die, then." He smiled. "I have to go."

Vairye reached for Haldir, but he had gone.

The goddess sighed.

Haldir opened his eyes. Beside him, Glorfindel continued to slumber, the March Warden nestled against him. Glorfindel held Haldir close. Both were lying on their sides, facing each other.

Haldir watched his sleeping lover. He felt his heart warm up to the eldar. He smiled, letting the love he felt show in his eyes, for once not trying to hide it from the world.

"I love you." He whispered. He leaned forward and bestowed a soft kiss upon the sleeping elf's lips. It was a momentary brush, their lips barely touching. But the warmth in the small contact went straight to Haldir's groin area and he moaned softly. 

He leaned back, putting a semblance of distance between them, yet remaining in the eldar's embrace.

Carefully, he brushed a stray lock of golden hair from Glorfindel's face, tucking it behind a pointy ear. Then he placed both his hands under his cheek, lying on his side, he watched his lover sleep. He memorized the beautiful face. The soft lips, slightly reddened cheeks, glazed eyes. Glorfindel's relaxed pose gave him an innocent look that made elves look godlike, ethereal in their beauty. It was a vision that had appeared in Haldir's dreams so many times, yet more beautiful that his mind could ever comprehend or replicate.

An angel.

/Who was, for a moment, mine./

Haldir smiled. Though he felt the pain of his loss, he felt gratitude for the moments he had been allowed to be with Glorfindel.

/I cannot hurt you. I can't./

Haldir vowed that he would make sure that Glorfindel would be happy.

/I will do everything./

Haldir moved closer, slowly so as not to wake the eldar, until they were pressed against each other. He bestowed another kiss, this time, longer and more passionate than the first.

He had not been able to resist. Watching Glorfindel, it was all he could do so as not to lose control and ravage the sleeping angel whose arms were around him. So he had kissed the eldar, intending to keep it short. But arms around him tightened and he was pulled closer. Before Haldir could know for sure, he was hauled up and turned until he lay on top of Glorfindel, who now lay on his back. With his hand at the back of Haldir's neck, and the other on the small of the March Warden's back, Glorfindel responded to the kiss fiercely, opening his mouth, letting Haldir in, and exploring the March Warden's mouth with a ferocity as well.

Haldir moaned at Glorfindel's heated responded. He could feel his body responding, his arousal hardening, and rationality deserting him. He placed both arms around Glorfindel's neck and pressed closer as well.

With skillful hands, Glorfindel removed both their clothes without breaking the kiss. It was not that difficult, considering they were only wearing robes, for their breeches had been divested before they went to sleep.

Sighs escaped as heated skin came in contact with heated skin.

Glorfindel made a subtle movement that rolled them, letting him get on top of his lover. Haldir's legs willingly made room for Glorfindel between them.

"Glorfindel.." It was almost a sob that came from the March Warden as the eldar nibbled on a pointy ear while hands moved to explore the body beneath him. Touching neck, brushing over nipples, and finally, Glorfindel wrapped a hand around his lover's arousal, eliciting a moan from Haldir, while all the time continuing to kiss the younger elf.

Glorfindel moved to kiss the exposed neck of his lover, sucking and nibbling, leaving marks of passion. The hand around the March Warden's arousal caressed, and coaxed until precum began to leak from the hard arousal. Glorfindel gathered the slick droplets, along with the ones from him, and used it to prepare Haldir's opening. 

Haldir's hips lifted from the bed when a finger entered him and brushed against his sweet spot. Another joined, and then another, and Haldir was soon mindless. Glorfindel's other hand continued to pump the March Warden. Haldir's hands clawed at Glorfindel's back, leaving scratch marks. But the eldar paid no attention.

It was too much. Glorfindel knew he could not hold on any longer. 

Haldir moaned his disappointment when Glorfindel removed his hands, but sighed when he felt Glorfindel's erection on his entrance. 

Glorfindel placed Haldir's legs around his waist, placed both his hands on the March Warden's buttocks, lifting the younger elf as he began to enter his lover's tight opening. In a single thrust, he was buried to the hilt.

Both elves moaned at the sensation. Haldir locked his arms around Glorfindel's neck as the eldar began to move, setting a rhythm that they know so well.

Passion built with each thrust. Moans grew louder. Both elves went up the high peak, then fell into oblivion, their release sending them toppling over the highest mountain. Time stopped for a moment before the stars burst into a million pieces.

When breathing was once again normal, Glorfindel moved to lay beside Haldir, pulling the other elf with him, in his arms.

"I like the way you wake me up." Glorfindel said, smiling against Haldir's hair whose head was tucked beneath the eldar's chin. Haldir's reply was a grunt, letting Glorfindel know that the younger elf had not yet fully recovered from their trip to heaven. Glorfindel chuckled.

"We need to make sure you get well, and that you get your strength back." 

Haldir again did not reply.

They stayed in each other's arms, not speaking for awhile.

Haldir sighed.

/Maybe if he thinks he had done everything, he would not feel guilty when I die./ Haldir had already formed a plan. He would stay with Glorfindel, be happy for the brief time, so that the eldar would not feel that he was the reason the March Warden would die.

"I love you, Haldir."

The brief whisper sent jolts of both happiness and sadness to the March Warden's heart.

"I am not letting you go."

/Oh Gods. Glorfindel, please, don't say that./

"Do you understand what I am saying, Haldir?"

"I love you too much to let you go."

TBC

A/N: In case you didn't read the note above, this chap was posted just to let you know that the next chap may not be posted until Aug. 19. I am so sorry but real life is gonna take over for awhile. But I promise to update as soon as I can. And yes, there is already an ending, except it has not been edited yet. So sorry. Please understand.

THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS.


	22. chapter 22

Disclaimer: JRR's characters.

Warning: This is SLASH

A/N: It's good to be back. Just read. Not really edited much. And my sort of beta reader was not able to read it.

Warning 2: Centered more on Elrond and Erestor.

Glorfindel waited for Haldir to say something. He felt the younger elf tense every time he told the March Warden of his love. Glorfindel knew that Haldir still thought it was wrong…too late.

But it wasn't too late.

/It can't be./

Haldir sighed. Glorfindel was not going to give this up. He didn't know how much more he could take. It would be so much easier if the eldar would just let go.

/Or you could accept his love./ A tiny voice in his head told him. Haldir fought it off.

/No! He…does not really…love me./ But even to himself, his arguments were feeble and weak. His heart already believed what his mind was trying so hard to deny.

/I don't want to hurt him!/ Haldir was afraid. What if he killed Glorfindel?

/You are already hurting him./ The voice was back, and it was without mercy.

/Think about it. You deny his love for you. You push him away. You tell him you are dying. You won't even fight to stay alive for him! How do you think he feels?/

Haldir closed his eyes and tightened his hold on Glorfindel, holding on for sanity, and life.

Glorfindel felt the arms around his waist tighten. He glanced down and saw Haldir's tightly closed eyes. Tears wetted the younger elf's lashes, and Haldir's breathing was labored.

"Haldir? Please, talk to me." He caressed his lover's cheek.

Haldir opened his eyes and looked at Glorfindel, his expression utterly crushed.

"I am afraid, Glorfindel." He whispered.

"Afraid of what?" Glorfindel looked at Haldir with so much concern Haldir felt like crying. Glorfindel loved him.

"Afraid this might not be real. Afraid that you would change your mind. I cannot lose you again Glorfindel."

The eldar smiled. "You will never lose me again, Haldir."

"I have already found a way out, Glorfindel. And now I'm afraid to come back in. It hurt so much when you left."

Glorfindel hugged Haldir tighter. "I will never leave you again, Haldir. I swear."

"I am really afraid, Glorfindel."

"Don't be, Haldir. We are together now. And nothing will keep us apart. Everything will be fine from now on. I promise."

Yet Haldir could not stop the fear. Somehow, he still felt like it was too good to be true.

"Something will happen and I will lose you again." He mumbled against the eldar's chest, tears running down freely from his eyes.

"Nothing will happen, Haldir." Glorfindel reassured him.

The shadow hovering over Haldir refused to lift.

Erestor wandered around the Golden Woods alone, reminiscing. Talking to Glorfindel had opened a part of his past that he had locked away long ago. A part that he never really wanted to remember. He was not sure that it had been a good idea to bring it up now. But he felt that he had no choice. Glorfindel had needed to know for Haldir's sake. 

Or maybe Erestor needed to finally talk about it.

/After all these years?/

He thought he had been able to let it go. He had not felt the pain this much for so long, Erestor had convinced himself that he was over it…that he had accepted.

He was wrong.

Now that he looked back, he knew that he had never really let go. He had simply…locked it all away. But the door had been opened, and there was no turning back.

He had been able to temper his love for Elrond, kept it at bay, stopped it from overwhelming him. But now, after thousands of years of building defenses around his heart, they were crumbling. For some reason, talking about it after all these years had made the emotions once again come to the surface.

And the pain. It was back.

It had never really gone away. Only suppressed. But now, it was once again in full force.

If this had happened a thousand years ago, Erestor would have crumbled. He would have been brought to his knees, tears in his eyes, for the pain was unbearable.

But he was stronger now.

No. That's not it.

He was not stronger.

He was…

Colder.

That was the right word. Colder. 

Erestor smiled bitterly.

Unrequited love.

It would have killed a lesser elf. It killed him actually.

But apparently, he was not even good enough to die.

He was never really good enough. 

His entire life.

He was not good enough for his parents to keep. They had left him to relatives. In fact, Erestor had never met his parents. He had grown up with his mother's sister, who had thrown him out when he was sixteen. He was not good enough for her, too.

He traveled on his own, then, not knowing where to go. Then he met a friend. Or so he thought.

Then his so called friend tried to force him to do things he did not wish to do. Things no elf should do. So he ran away.

He then lived his next four years as a human. He disguised himself, made sure no one could see him well enough to notice anything unusual about his "humanity."

Then he found the elven army. 

And joined. Trained hard.

He had been the youngest, but no one knew his age. No one could even question it because they did not know who he was.

At last, something he had been good enough for.

Or so he thought.

He was assigned the lowliest of duties. It was more like being a servant than a soldier.

Still, it was better than what he had been doing.

That was where he first encountered Elrond.

The Lord of Imladris did not remember, of course.

Erestor smiled again at the memory.

/How could he remember? We were not really introduced./

It was more like a twenty-three year old elfling bumping into the half-elf, causing the Peredhel to lose balance and fall face first in the mud.

Of course Elrond was mad.

The half-elf had fallen into the mud in front of all his friends.

So he reacted naturally.

He clobbered the elf who felled him.

They were young. Foolish. Impatient. Violent.

Elrond almost lost control. In his anger, he did not realize that his opponent wasn't fighting back.

It was then that the High King saw the commotion and went there himself to stop the fight.

Erestor had let Elrond hit him. He did not even try to defend himself.

/Maybe even then, I had fallen in love./

Erestor still could not explain what happened to him, why he let Elrond hurt him like that and not try to defend himself.

But that encounter started his…attraction to the half-elf.

It was for this reason that, after the battle with Sauron many years later, Erestor had sought Elrond and helped him build Rivendell.

Elrond did not recognize him of course.

And he fell more in love with the Peredhel.

He had hoped that one day, Elrond would feel the same for him. His hope grew when Elrond had confessed to needing him. As an adviser. A friend.

That's where everything started, right?

Well, maybe. If you were good enough.

/I had forgotten that one important detail. Being good enough./

And Erestor wasn't.

Celebrian came along, and…well…he died.

The adviser of Imladris died. And no one ever knew.

Desolate.

He had come back to life, only to be so empty inside.

Elrond had stopped needing him. There was Celebrian now. The two spent all their time together. Of course. They were husband and wife!

The one thing he had with Elrond was gone.

Erestor had come back for nothing.

Then Glorfindel came along. 

Someone who needed him.

A reason to live.

Glorfindel was not Elrond but,…he needed Erestor.

Erestor took it upon himself to be the one who helped Glorfindel.

He found the best friend he ever had in his life. Perhaps his one real friend.

Elrond did not count. He was Erestor's one real love. There was a difference.

Then the twins came. And Erestor felt the need to live again, if only to see Elrond's sons grow up.

Elrond's sons, who treated him like their ada, even more than they treat their real ada sometimes.

Erestor felt his throat tighten. He loved Elladan and Elrohir like he would his own sons.

But now, they were all grown up. Glorfindel was doing well. And Erestor was alone again.

He still was not good enough.

For the one thing he wanted the most.

Elrond's love.

Even after Celebrian, Elrond did not see him. Really see him. Erestor never sought to replace the elf lady in his lord's heart. He only wanted a small part. But even that he could not have.

/When will I ever learn?/

/I will never be good enough. Not because I can't be. It's because I'm…not./

He had tried. He became a good friend, a loyal adviser, someone who was always there. Yet it was not enough to even earn him a little attention.

Erestor smiled. He had not even realized he had wanted attention at the time. But he did. He wanted Elrond's attention.

/But I am not what he seeks. I am the kind who is always the friend, someone you never consider as lover./

The person who was always there, who embodied the perfect mate: caring, attentive, loyal, yet the one you never really fall for.

/And Elrond deserves someone better. Someone he loves./

That he was able to learn. 

Erestor no longer hope to have Elrond's love. At least, that's what he thought. Well, he had already given up trying to win the half-elf's affections, or even get his attention. If he ever had a wish, it would be that Elrond be happy. He had already accepted that he would never be the one.

Erestor shivered as the coldness passed through his spine. He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. He turned to go back.

And walked straight into Elrond.

Arms were around him in a flash.

First, no one said a word.

Then Elrond laughed.

"Hmmm, I guess old age makes us clumsy. Are you alright?" Elrond held Erestor by his arms, concern written on the lord's face.

Erestor swallowed the lump that clogged his throat.

Elrond was too near. He was too near and Erestor was too…vulnerable. His guards were down.

Instinct forced him to push his lord away, a little too roughly than he anticipated.

"Erestor?" Elrond immediately let go. But he remained close, only one foot away.

"I…I am sorry, Elrond. You…surprised me." Erestor managed to reply, the distance allowing him to put his invisible walls up once again.

"Oh. I am sorry. I did not mean to startle you." The lord apologized, although he did not look quite as sorry. In fact, he looked like he did not believe the lie his adviser just told him.

/Erestor, I have known you for thousands of years. You really think I would not know if you were lying to me?/

But the fact that he did not know why his friend was lying kept him from saying anything about the matter, deciding to play along.

"What are you doing out here in the woods?" Elrond asked.

"I was…just…er…walking." Erestor had been taken by surprise when the elf he had been thinking about appeared out of nowhere. He was having a hard time recovering. And Elrond was too near.

Elrond hid his amusement at his normally coolheaded adviser's actions.

"May I join you?" he requested.

"Actually, I was just on my…" Erestor did not think he could quite survive being alone with Elrond right now.

"Please."

Erestor swallowed. Something burned in Elrond's eyes. And the whispered words seemed to hold a hidden meaning.

/Yes. It's wishful thinking!/ Erestor's hidden self chastised him. /You call this being colder? Wiser? Not wishing? You melt at his merest touch! You will never learn!/

"Er…alright."

Elrond smiled. He took hold of Erestor's hands and tucked them under his, as he crossed both his hands across his chest, trapping Erestor's hands close to his chest, much to the adviser's surprise, and led them forward through the trees. Erestor knew there was no way he could disentangle without causing a fuss.

"So, Erestor. What is bothering you? You have been withdrawn lately. Is everything alright with you?" Elrond asked, still holding on to Erestor.

Erestor, meanwhile was to focused on where his hand was. The contact burned into his skin, all the way to his frozen heart, the heat melting the ice. He wanted to pull away, but was unsure how Elrond would take it. They were friends, after all. And friends do hold hands, and tuck it close to their…hearts. There was nothing strange about it.

Except when you were in love with your friend.

"Erestor?"

The adviser cleared his throat.

"I…everything is fine. I was just worried about Glorfindel and Haldir." Erestor's eyes darted to the side and Elrond knew that his adviser was lying. Again. Erestor's hand also twitched in his, as if the adviser wanted it to pull away. Elrond's grip tightened.

"I am sure they would be alright. Glorfindel has finally come around."

"Yes. Finally. It took him long enough." Erestor smiled.

"Hmmm. Now why don't you tell me what is really bothering you?"

Erestor stopped walking, keeping his head bowed. It was foolish to think he could lie to Elrond.

/What is bothering me? Let's see. I inform you of my feelings and you treat it like nothing. It is nothing, maybe, but as a friend you could have at least…said something. But I understand. Years ago we slept together and you did not even know it was me. You were thinking that you had been with Celebrian. You were drunk, so I understand it too. Then I died. Not that you know. But I understand. I just wish…well…/

Erestor sighed.

/I just wish someone would care for me the way Glorfindel cares for Haldir./

"It's…nothing."

/I wish that someone could be you./

Elrond frowned. His adviser's hesitation signified that it wasn't nothing.

"Erestor, talk to me. Please." Erestor was very important to Elrond, to the entire Peredhel family. He was always there to help. But he had never talked about his own problems. Not even the smallest. Elrond had let it pass, because Erestor had seemed to prefer it that way. But somehow, Elrond felt that he could not let this go.

"Elrond…"

"Please." Elrond moved closer, putting his hands on Erestor's shoulder.

Erestor stiffened and backed away, shrugging off Elrond's hands. This was getting dangerous. Elrond was getting too close. The Peredhel had never been this insistent. Erestor knew he was in trouble. Elrond would not let this go.

"Elrond, just…leave it alone. Please. This is…I get the message. I'm fine. I just need to…accept it more fully. I just thought…I just thought I was deserved more than this…nothing. But I am fine." Erestor turned and walked away, leaving a confused elf lord.

Celeborn looked up as five elves entered the kitchens, dragging their battered forms to the chairs around the table.

"Good to have you back." 

"It's good to be back, ata'da. I don't get how there are still thousands of those vile creatures running around!" Elladan said with disgust, wiping orc slime off the front of his armor.

Celeborn smiled.

"It will take some time before the world is clean again, Elladan." He addressed his grandson. "Would you like baths first or do you prefer to eat?"

A chorus of "eat" prompted the Lord of the Golden Woods to bring out the stored food.

As he turned, Celeborn accidentally nudged something on the counter, and the object crashed to the floor.

"Oops." He let Elladan and Orophin pick it up as he placed the food on the table.

"It's okay. It's only ada's saddlebag. Why is it in here, anyway?" Elladan said.

"Oh, we were in here earlier and he brought it with him."

Elladan fixed the contents that fell out, and thanked Orophin for his help.

As he was stuffing everything back in, a particular object caught his eye.

"Hey! It's Glorfindel and Erestor's letter before they left for Helm's Deep. I never got to read it." 

Elrohir noticed the piece of parchment in his twin's hands. "Oh yeah. Let's read it, then."

As Orophin and Elladan took a seat at the table, Celeborn joining them, Elladan read the letter out loud.

"Dear Elrond…" and Erestor's words filled the room.

"…both know he loves the damned elf…" Heads nodded in agreement. Ecthelion smiled.

"…We are too stubborn to die… That is so true." Elladan commented before he continued reading. The others only  laughed.

"…borrowed your extra sword, seeing as I don't have one…"

"Hmmm, we should get him one." Elrohir interrupted and Elladan replied in agreement.

"Maybe we could make one." Rumil suggested.

"I believe I still have some material." Celeborn supplied.

The discussion continued, everyone making plans for Erestor's sword.

Only Elladan was quiet.

Elrohir noticed his brother's silence.

"El? What's wrong?"

Elladan was gripping the paper tightly. He looked up at Elrohir. Then at Ecthelion.

"How did…ada act after reading the letter?" He inquired.

Ecthelion frowned as he tried to remember.

"Frantic, that his two friends rode to such danger. But he expected it, I think."

"That's all? Nothing else?" Elladan wasn't sure what to make of his father's reaction.

"El, what is it? Tell us."

Before Elladan could reply, Ecthelion spoke again.

"I don't think he finished reading beyond 'we are on our way to Helm's Deep', though, he was in a hurry. He had looked for his extra sword to lend to me when he thought I didn't have one."

Elladan snapped his mouth shut. Then he stood up abruptly.

"What?! You mean he didn't read…Damn it!"

"ELLADAN! WHAT THE HELL IS IT?!" Elrohir had gotten up as well. He was getting impatient and his curiosity had reached its peak. All eyes turned to Elladan.

Elladan looked at all of them. Then, taking a deep breath, he continued reading.

"…And Elrond, should we never see each other again…"

"…just thought you should know. Don't worry, you don't have to do anything. This is all. I love you. Your adviser, Erestor."

Silence fell as Elladan finished reading. Nobody said a word. Elrohir wanted to, but Elrond was still his father and he really should not say such things out loud.

Elladan slowly refolded the letter and placed it on the table.

Celeborn was about to break the silence, when Elrond entered the kitchens. All eyes turned to the lord.

"Ah, you have arrived. That is good. Have any of you seen Erestor? He seemed troubled and I am worried about him." Elrond could only wonder at the expressions on the faces looking at him. "What?"

"Ada," Elrohir spoke first, "if you were in love with a close friend and you decided to confess to said friend and he acted like nothing happened, how would you feel?"

Elrond wondered why Elrohir was asking him about such a thing, now, of all times, but he decided to answer.

"I would be…hurt, I suppose. Knowing that my friend does not have the same feelings. But in the end, I will have to accept it and move on."

"But you would stay away from your friend?" Elladan asked.

"Well, at first, while the pain of rejection is still strong."

"And you would be troubled?" Rumil supplied.

"Yes, of course." Has one of his sons fallen for one of the Galadhrim brothers? The four had always been close.

Celeborn smiled at where the conversation was going.

"Heartbroken?" Orophin added.

"Naturally." Elrond replied. /But who is in love with who?/

Elladan stood and picked up the letter as everyone else stood and picked up the bowls of food, except for Lord Celeborn who remained seated. As they made their way to the door, Elladan handed the letter to his father.

"Read it."

With that, the elves who had just come from patrolling exited, with them plates of food and a whole lot of frustration.

Even the wisest make the stupidest mistakes.

Elrond raised his brows as he looked at Celeborn. The other elf smiled.

"Read it." Celeborn repeated.

Elrond looked at the letter in his hand.

Erestor's.

He frowned. He was never able to finish it, but taking it with him. Why was it so important that he read it?

He took a seat across the older elf, and opened the letter.

'Dear Elrond…'

The Lord of Imladris remembered the fear that gripped his heart when he read Erestor's letter, telling him that his two friends were on their way to Helm's deep, to stop something that could not be stopped.

/But they did it./

'P.S. I borrowed…'

That was why he could not find the sword. He smiled at the thought. Ecthelion hadn't been too helpful either. Only when Elrond had almost turned his office upside down did the elf inform him he already had a sword.

'And Elrond, should we never see each other again, I want you to know that…I mean, I know this will come as a surprise, or maybe not but, I am in love with you, have been ever since we met, which was roughly three thousand years ago.'

The letter dropped to the floor as Elrond rushed outside, intent on finding his adviser even if he had to tear the Golden Woods apart.

He had to find Erestor.

TBC

A/N: Been a long time. And I had a slight accident. I sorta deleted some of my files, and accidentally trashed parts of this story. I was doing a little clean up and well…did I mention I was not very good at computers? Hehe. Now I have to rewrite the ending since I just found out I deleted it. So, that's that. I'll try to update as regularly as I can.

Please review.

I Love you all and thanks for the support.


	23. chapter 23

Disclaimer: Characters not mine.

Warning. This is Slash. M/m relationship.

A/N: Sorry. Forgot to post. The next chap's coming. Maybe tomorrow.

Glorfindel watched Haldir across the table. They had gotten out of bed earlier and Haldir had insisted that if he were to eat, he would do so only in the kitchens. The March Warden's brothers, the twins and Ecthelion joined them. 

Haldir felt a little awkward facing Ecthelion, to say the least. He kept expecting Glorfindel to go to the other elf, and no matter what he told himself, he knew he could not bear to see them together. But the eldar stayed by his side. Haldir felt glad for that, though he would not admit it even to himself.

Haldir felt better for another reason. Being around family and friends he had been staying away from helped him a lot more than he cared to admit. He was still not sure what would happen now. 

As the days passed, he could not help but fall more in love with Glorfindel, something he, in his mind, could not afford to do. But he could not help it, especially since Glorfindel was intent on making Haldir give their relationship another chance. The more Haldir fought, the harder the eldar tried.

Haldir was fighting a losing battle. His body and heart were on Glorfindel's side. Only a small part of his mind, and heart, the ones that were afraid to be hurt again, prevented him from giving in completely. And there was the cold that had settled around his heart. It felt alien to him, yet he knew it was there, part of him. Yet somehow, that was beginning to warm. Glorfindel's tenderness was melting the ice away.

Haldir sighed.

/What if I hurt you?/ Haldir would rather be the one in pain that the one to cause pain. He could not bear it if Glorfindel went through what he had been through. He loved the eldar too much for that.

Hearing his sigh, Glorfindel's hand immediately covered his. He looked at the eldar and saw concern.

"Are you alright?" Glorfindel softly asked. He was worried. Haldir was not yet fully healed. He wondered if giving in on the March Warden's request to come down to the kitchens was a good idea.

Haldir's breath hitched as the softness of Glorfindel's voice went straight to his heart. 

/Did he have to be so gentle?/

"I…I am fine." Haldir turned away immediately, trying to hide the longing in his eyes that he was able to keep from his voice. The hand on his remained.

"Okay."

The other elves in the room watched the two from the corner of their eyes. Except for Ecthelion, the four other elves kept up a friendly banter of sorts. They talked about anything and everything, trying to keep the atmosphere light. Ecthelion joined in occasionally. But usually, he watched Haldir and Glorfindel.

Haldir ate quietly, smiling at his brothers' jokes every now and then.

Glorfindel watched Haldir. The younger elf seemed intent to not look at him. Glorfindel knew Haldir was still trying to fight them. But at least he did not shrug off the eldar's hand on his, or move his hand away. Glorfindel had no plans of removing it from where they rested.

He had lost Haldir before. And he was afraid to do so again. Glorfindel needed to keep in contact. Physically, because emotionally, Haldir was shutting him out.

As Glorfindel looked up, his gaze met Ecthelion's. He saw a flicker of longing before the other elf's eyes grew dark and he could see nothing in them. Glorfindel swallowed and offered a silent apology, once again feeling guilt for what was happening. Ecthelion smiled and shook his head. When Glorfindel looked in his eyes again, there was nothing there but understanding. Glorfindel smiled back, relieved. Ecthelion was part of his past. A past he thought was dead. He had loved Ecthelion. Nothing would ever change that. But this was a new life. And this life belonged to Haldir. He was glad that Ecthelion understood. 

So many things needed to be fixed. But right now, Glorfindel's priority was Haldir and him. He could not afford to lose Haldir again.

"Have you seen Erestor and ada? I have not seen them since…when we arrived." Elladan asked. It had been hours and they had not seen the two older elves.

Glorfindel shook his head. "I saw Erestor earlier, and Elrond not since…breakfast."

"Oh." The twins looked at each other, wondering if their father screwed up again, or if they should start getting worried.

"Why? I am pretty sure they are around. Maybe your ada is with Lord Celeborn." Glorfindel said.

"Actually, ada went after Erestor." Elrohir said in between mouthfuls.

"Went after? Did he need Erestor for something?" The eldar wondered at the twin's choice of words. 

"You could say that." It was Orophin who replied.

"Ada just found out Erestor's in love with him." Elladan clarified.

Glorfindel stopped short. "What?"

"Ada just found out about Erestor's feelings. Erestor wrote him a letter, you know, the one you left to inform him that you were going to Helm's Deep? Well, Erestor added a footnote but since ada didn't finish it, he never knew until this morning when we showed it to him.. Don't tell me you didn't know what Erestor felt?"

Glorfindel did not know whether to scream at Elrond's stupidity or…

"Oh, I know Erestor loved your father. I have known for decades. What I do not know is how your father did not. How can he be so stupid as to not finish the letter?" Glorfindel could not believe this! 

"Tell us about it."

Glorfindel sat back with his mouth open. He could not believe it! Elrond has hurt Erestor twice, and he had not even known he was doing it. Wasn't he supposed to be the wisest of them all?

"And all the while Erestor thought Elrond never gave a damn. Your father did not react in any way and Erestor became convinced that his feelings for Elrond were considered…insignificant. Not worth mentioning."

"And all along, Lord Elrond never knew." Orophin pointed out.

Glorfindel shook his head.

/Elrond better fix this one./

The eldar sighed.

/Just how much pain do we cause and not even know it?/

/How much do we cause because of what we do NOT know?/

He looked at Haldir and wondered.

/All the years we have been together, Haldir, I know I have hurt you so many times. But have I hurt you…too much? Is that why you won't let me back in?/

Glorfindel knew it could not have been the fact that he was a little late in confessing his feelings that had put them in this situation. Oh, it had played a part. But he wondered what else he had done.

/Talk to me, Haldir. Tell me what I've done. So that I'll know what to do./

It was difficult to fix something when you did not know what was broken.

After the meal, Haldir went for a walk. Glorfindel would not let him go alone. So now, the two of them walked the Golden Woods. They did not say a word to each other. Glorfindel trailed a few steps behind Haldir, giving the younger elf some space. He wanted nothing more than to take his lover into his arms and beg for forgiveness. He wanted everything to be all right. He wanted Haldir back. But Glorfindel knew he needed to take this slowly. Haldir was not feeling too well and he might not respond too well to being rushed. Glorfindel might do more damage if he insisted on hurrying it up. He did not want to do more damage.

Haldir glanced back at Glorfindel from the corner of his eyes. He could feel the eldar's eyes on him. His heart beat faster, thundering in his chest. He was convinced that Glorfindel could here it. But he knew that was not possible. He was able to hide it, and felt relieved that Glorfindel was giving him some semblance of being on his own.

He wanted Glorfindel. He would never stop wanting the eldar. As he would never stop loving him.

And he wanted Glorfindel right now, a few steps behind him, wearing a light colored robe, and Haldir knew that the only thing underneath that robe was a very insignificant piece of loincloth that can easily be removed. It had been awhile since they had been together and Haldir could feel his body craving for the eldar's touch.

Haldir stifled a groan and tried to redirect his thoughts. Why did Glorfindel have to affect him this way every time they were together?

/It would be so much easier if I didn't love him!/

But that was something that Haldir had long given up on happening. He would always love the eldar.

They had been walking for some time and Haldir began to feel tired. But he did not want to go back yet. 

"Haldir, you are tired."

The March Warden inhaled deeply. Glorfindel knew him too well. Not surprising. The eldar had seen him exhausted lots of times in the period that they were together. He would notice any signs of Haldir's fatigue.

"We should go back."

Haldir did not want to go back. Not yet. He had been indoors too long. He was an elf, and a March Warden, and he needed to be in the forests.

"Or we could rest in the clearing up ahead." The eldar suggested, sensing that Haldir wished to be outside longer.

Glorfindel's hand went to the small of Haldir's back, giving support when he saw Haldir falter a little in his steps. As he did so, Haldir turned to answer, maybe thank him. Glorfindel was not sure. But suddenly they were standing so closely. He could feel the heat from the younger elf's body. His response was immediate and he almost groaned.

Haldir was not doing any better. His face flushed and he knew he was blushing. This was Glorfindel. They had made love so many times, yet he felt like it was the first time all over again. He clenched his fists, trying hard not to grab the eldar. He was never so thankful to be so tired. At least in his condition he knew he could not do much, even if he were to try. Unless Glorfindel…no, he wouldn't. Right?

"C…clearing. I…want to..um…rest in the..uh…clearing." Haldir stammered out.

Glorfindel stepped closer, just a little bit closer, until the front of their robes brushed against each other. Keeping his hand on Haldir's back, Glorfindel made sure Haldir could not move away.

A kiss. Just one.

"Gl…Glorfindel." It was a plea. Haldir closed his eyes. He could not fight this. If Glorfindel decided to make love to him right now, he would not be able to stop the eldar. He just….couldn't.

Glorfindel heard the pleading note in the younger elf's voice and paused. 

/What am I doing?/

Glorfindel had promised himself to go slow, yet here he was, about to kiss Haldir senseless, and more if he would push through with his plans. He took a step back and removed his hands from Haldir, which took great effort, but he knew he had to. He was not going to ruin this.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that."

Haldir released the breath he was holding. Now that Glorfindel moved away, he felt a loss, and suddenly he wanted it back.

/No. You can't do that!/ Haldir reminded himself vehemently. He has to stop this. 

"I…It's alright." The March Warden grimaced at the tremor in his voice.

Glorfindel took another step back, putting a safe distance between them. Then he took Haldir's hand.

"Let's…uh…go to the clearing then." He said and together they walked towards the area.

When they got there, Haldir sat down on the grass and leaned against a tree trunk behind him. He was extremely conscious of the elf with him, watching the eldar on the corner of his eyes. He definitely felt like an elfling on his first date.

Glorfindel took a seat next to Haldir, but placed a respectable distance between them. He could not risk another repeat performance of a while ago. He was not going to risk frightening Haldir. And he knew that if he remained close, he would not be able to stop his body from reacting. This was…safer.

For a moment, no one said a word. They simply watched their surroundings, looking at the glory of nature, the beauty of the Golden Woods. Several animals scurried by. 

Finally, Glorfindel broke the silence.

"Haldir?"

"Hmmm?" The March Warden had his eyes closed.

"I love you."

Haldir opened his eyes and looked at Glorfindel. He knew there was more to those words. Glorfindel was asking him for another chance. His resolve was weakening. And they had only been together for a few days! But even then their time was running short. The new moon was not very far away.

Glorfindel's heart pained when Haldir did not say anything. The eldar knew that the younger elf was going through a very confusing stage right now, but he was hoping Haldir would at least reply. But Haldir remained silent, and did not seem to react to Glorfindel's declaration but for a slight stiffening of his frame. 

Glorfindel longed to reach out to Haldir. But he restrained himself. He was not going to let Haldir give up on them. He could not lose the March Warden. Not now.

The eldar knew that his greatest challenge was convincing Haldir not to let go. The March Warden had given up. Glorfindel knew that it was his fault. Haldir was afraid of being hurt. Glorfindel had hurt him badly enough. He had sent Haldir to Mandos. He knew how hard it was to be there and come back, having done so himself. The psychological effect is deep.

The younger elf was also afraid this was not real. He had told Glorfindel he believed that the eldar loved him. But Glorfindel was beginning to wonder. Maybe Haldir thought he did, but not completely.

Or maybe…

"With all my heart and soul, Haldir. This is not pity, or guilt, or any explanation you can think of. I am in love with you. I have been for some time now. Only I was too stupid not to have seen it before. I think I always have been. From the very beginning-"

"No." The whisper was soft, but vehement. Haldir's voice quivered and the voice behind his whisper betrayed the pain he felt.

Glorfindel was not going to let Haldir convince himself that the eldar did not love him. "Yes, Haldir. I love you-"

"Glorfindel, if you have been in love with me from the very beginning, then you have never been in love with me at all. I know you want to convince me of your feelings, but you do not have to lie. I know that you did not love me at first. You probably just did only recently." Haldir held back tears as he remembered their years together. He KNEW that at the very least, Glorfindel had not loved him until maybe after ten years that they had been together. Maybe longer. "Or maybe you are just confused right now about your feelings for Ecthe-" His voice broke and Haldir stopped talking, trying to get control over his emotions which were threatening to become overwhelming.

Maybe Glorfindel did not love him at all.

Glorfindel stood up and went to kneel in front of Haldir. He forced the younger elf to look at him. Glorfindel's eyes blazed with anger.

"I am NOT confused, Haldir. I am in love. With YOU. Not Ecthelion. Not anyone. With you." Even his voice tinged with desperation. Glorfindel had placed both hands on either side of Haldir's head, keeping a tight hold. Seeing the confused emotions in his lover's eyes, the eldar's voice softened. "I love you."

Then Glorfindel did what he told himself not to do. He kissed Haldir.

Softly. And sweet.

And his control disappeared. Along with his promise to keep his hands off Haldir. And to go slow. To give Haldir space. He was in Haldir's space now.

It would have helped if Haldir resisted. It could have brought Glorfindel to his senses. But the March Warden moaned and pulled the eldar closer. The younger elf even parted his legs to make room for Glorfindel.

The effect was immediate. Desire raged through their systems and they began kissing in earnest, like there was no tomorrow.

/Oh gods, Haldir. I've missed you./

"I want you." Glorfindel whispered between kisses.

So there he was. Kneeling between Haldir's spread legs. Kissing and being kissed senseless.

At the back of Glorfindel's foggy mind, a message got through. They were supposed to be talking. This could come later, when everything was all right between them…and Haldir was not dying.

Glorfindel's desire cooled at the thought of his lover dying. His logic came back and he broke the kiss.

"Talk. Have to talk." His breathing was labored and so was Haldir's. Their lips were swollen and their eyes were clouded with desire.

But Glorfindel did not let Haldir go nor did he move further away. He had a feeling that if he did Haldir might get the wrong idea. So he stayed where he was. Settling in a more comfortable position, he gathered Haldir in his arms and pulled the younger elf closer.

While trying to stop the raging within his body, Glorfindel closed his eyes and rested his head against Haldir's shoulder, close to the younger elf's neck. He took deep breaths to slow his heart. 

Control. He needed to be in control.

"Glorfindel?" Haldir's hesitant voice filtered through his mind. 

"We have to talk, Haldir. First, before anything. I will not lose you."

He felt Haldir sigh, as well as heard it. Then the other elf's arms went around him as well.

Only the sound of the forest could be heard as the two elves calmed their racing hearts and tamed their out of control emotions.

"You didn't love me from the beginning."

Haldir's words broke the silence.

They were not condescending, nor were there any pain in the words. It was merely a statement. An accepted fact.

Glorfindel raised his head to look at Haldir. The March Warden was looking out into the horizon. The eldar could not see his face.

"I…"

But Haldir continued speaking.

"We had been together for some years. I was sent to Rivendell to give a message to Lord Elrond. I stayed with you while I was in Imladris, as usual. In one of the nights, you left the bed and went to the gardens. You didn't know I followed you. We had just made love and you thought I was asleep, I guess." Haldir paused. "You cried. I didn't even know you were still grieving until that night. You were in pain. I wanted so much to take it all away. I was about to, when I heard you speaking."

Haldir inhaled, his arms around Glorfindel tightening.

"You were missing him. You said so. You cried for a while. You were lost in memories. Finally, you said it."

'I love you, Ecthelion. Still. Always. Forever.'

" I couldn't move, Couldn't say anything. I was not sure how you would react to finding me there. So I didn't come out."

Old pain threatened to resurface but Haldir held it down. That was the past. And he knew that Ecthelion would always have Glorfindel's love. It took awhile for Haldir to accept that, but eventually, he did. Then all he began to hope for a small part of Glorfindel's heart. 

And now he had it.

So why was he running away?

/Because Ecthelion is here and Glorfindel could be happy again. If only he would stop with this foolishness about being in love with me!/

Haldir believed Glorfindel loved him. But he did not believe that the eldar's love for him was as…great as the eldar claimed it to be. He was sure Ecthelion was the one for Glorfindel. In heart, in mind, and in fact.

Maybe he should talk to Ecthelion and ask him some help in making Glorfindel see the truth. Maybe then Glorfindel would stop this nonsense.

Glorfindel remembered the night Haldir was referring to. He was not aware that Haldir had followed him. He thought the March Warden had been asleep. When he had returned to the chambers and Haldir was lying on the bed. He had thought the younger elf was still sleeping.

But now that he thought about it, Haldir had felt tense in his arms when he had gathered the other elf.

Now he knew. Both of them had not gone to sleep that night.

He had hurt Haldir all those years ago and he had not known.

He never knew until now.

That night had been his death anniversary. He never told anyone. And during that time Glorfindel felt the loneliest. 

Coupled with trying to deny his feelings for Haldir, Glorfindel had felt completely lost during that night and, out of habit, he had turned to Ecthelion. He always had. Ecthelion had been the closest elf to him, in his heart.

Maybe he should have talked to Haldir. But at the time he was trying so hard not to fall in love with the March Warden that he made sure Haldir would never be able to get close. Of course by then it had already been too late.

Maybe he should have gone to Erestor. He had not been thinking clearly.

He had been so intent in trying to convince himself that he was not in love with Haldir he had not realized that he had convinced the March Warden as well.

"Haldir…"

"It's alright, Glorfindel. You did love him. You were lovers. You do love him. You always will. Forever."

Glorfindel was about to protest, but again Haldir interrupted him.

"Why can't you see that? You love Ecthelion. I know you love me too. But it cannot compare to the way you love him! It can't. You two were meant for each other. He searched for you. And you waited for him. That's why you never committed to anyone, Glorfindel. Unconsciously, in your heart, you were waiting for him to find you! I…"

"HALDIR!" 

The March Warden was surprised at vehemence of the eldar's voice. Glorfindel was gripping him by his upper arms and the eldar was once again kneeling in front of him.

"I. AM. IN. LOVE. WITH. YOU!"

Exasperated, Glorfindel sighed and rested his forehead on Haldir's chest. 

"Damn it, Haldir."

Haldir was crying now and shaking his head.

"Maybe you just-"

Glorfindel covered Haldir's mouth with his hands.

"Don't! Don't say it, Haldir. Please."

Glorfindel moved and hugged Haldir tightly.

"I love you. I will prove it to you, Haldir. I promise. So you'll believe me. I will keep proving it to you until you no longer doubt it."

He had been so adamant about convincing himself that he did not love Haldir, he had not counted on convincing Haldir so much that now the younger elf would not believe his words.

And he was running out of time.

Haldir sobbed at Glorfindel's words.

Glorfindel sighed, hearing Haldir in so much pain hurt him.

This was going nowhere. Haldir was fighting him all the way. Maybe now was not yet the right time. Glorfindel knew he had to slow down, regroup.

Haldir's sobs continued. He leaned against the eldar who continued to hold him. It was a while before he was calm again. He hated breaking down in front of the eldar. He hated being this weak at a time when he had to be strong.

He felt tired. So tired. Physically and emotionally.

And Glorfindel sensed it. He cursed. He had forgotten Haldir was still recovering from an injury.

"Haldir, we should go back. You need to rest."

Haldir did not bother replying. Glorfindel helped him up. But the emotional turmoil and the long walk had drained away his energy and Haldir faltered.

Glorfindel then decided to carry him, eliciting a surprised yelp from the March Warden.

"This will be faster, Haldir. Do not protest. I will not relent."

Haldir sighed and just rested his head against Glorfindel's shoulder. He was too tired to argue anyway.

Glorfindel was not going to give up.

But he needed help.

TBC

A/N: Pls. Review. The next chap is on the way as soon as I post this. Maybe after a day. Hopefully.

THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	24. chapter 24

Disclaimer: JRR. You dig? No? Is this your first time?

WARNING: 1. SLASHA.K.A…Male/male relationship.

                     2. EXPLICIT SEX BETWEEN TWO MALES!!!!!!!!!!!!

                     3. Ere/Elr-centric chapter.

A/N: Er….sorry again. Got caught up in the concert I attended yesterday and was unable to update. Ehehe…

Erestor stared at the dead orcs surrounding him, sword in hand, breathing hard. 

He had been walking for a while, trying to clear his thoughts. Only when he was attacked did he realize that he was already at the borders of Lothlorien. He was lucky that there were only a few of them. Otherwise, he may have gotten more than bruises.

Taking a deep breath, he scanned the horizon for any more threats. Finding none, he turned to head back.

Passing by the lake, he decided to get cleaned up first. He shed his clothes and plunged into the cold water.

But he did not feel the cold. Because he was colder.

And he was an elf.

He rubbed the grime and blood off him with a piece of his torn tunic. Finally, when he was clean he threw the piece of cloth aside, and proceeded to go for a leisurely swim. The water gave him a sense of calmness that he needed. Closing his eyes, he started to enjoy the water gliding over his skin. His hair flowed like silk as he glided through the clear liquid. The lake caressed his skin, gently lapping at him, kissing him everywhere. The soft sounds soothed his ears. As he swam, the water caressed and soothed his exhausted body.

Erestor only managed a few laps in his tired condition. He stopped in the middle of the lake. He did not want it to be over yet. He did not want the feeling of tranquility surrounding him to disappear.

He sighed. It was beginning to get dark. He needed to head back. Reluctantly, he got out of the water.

Picking up his cloak, he dried himself with it.

"By the Valar…" It was but a whisper, yet Erestor heard it and he turned around, accidentally dropping the cloak as he whirled.

Elrond had been looking for Erestor for hours. He had gone everywhere, to every place he could think of. He was about to give up. It was only through sheer luck that he had spotted his advisor as he was passing by.

And now Erestor stood before him, completely naked and more beautiful than Elrond could even describe. He felt the blood pool in his groin at the sight of the raven-haired elf wearing nothing except an astonished look.

Erestor was not sure how to react. He wanted to grab his cloak and cover himself. But the look in Elrond's eyes held him frozen.

His lord's eyes were full of…hunger. For him. Elrond wanted him. And, Valar, he wanted Elrond to want him!

One of them moved. Or maybe they both did. Because somehow, Elrond now stood close to Erestor. So close that the elf lord's robes brushed against Erestor's naked body.

/This is not happening. I am dreaming./ Erestor was sure this was nothing but sheer imagination. Maybe he died in his encounter with the orcs. There was no way this could be happening for real.

He could not be standing in front of Elrond completely naked, staring into the half-elf's eyes where he could see hunger. For him.

Elrond lifted his hand and traced Erestor's lips with his forefinger. Erestor's breath hitched and his arousal grew hard. Then the thumb skimmed down his chin to his neck, then chest…navel…belly. 

Without breaking eye contact, Elrond gently traced a finger down Erestor's hard length. The advisor stopped breathing. Elrond, not satisfied, closed his fingers around the other elf's arousal and gently squeezed.

Erestor gasped and his hands moved to Elrond's waist, grasping anything he could. He held on, knowing his knees would not be able to hold him if Elrond kept this up. Then Elrond proceeded to move his hand up and down the hard length. Erestor closed his eyes and moaned. He would not last long. He had wanted this for so long he was on hair trigger. There was no way he could stop it. It was going to happen.

He only hoped this was not a dream.

/Let this be real./

A few strokes and Erestor was coming, clutching at Elrond.

"Oh Gods! Elrooonnnd."

And Elrond held him while he came.

Breathing hard, knees wobbly, Erestor looked up at Elrond, slowly, not sure what he would see. Disgust? 

He was not prepared for what the half elf did next. 

Elrond lifted his hand, the hand that had brought Erestor to completion. Pearly beads of Erestor's come were on his fingers. He brought it close to his mouth and licked. 

"Oh Gods."

Erestor was hard again. How could he not be? Elrond had just…tasted him.

"I would like to taste you. May I, Erestor?" Elrond's voice was soft and his eyes were dark with passion. He had forgotten why he had been looking for his advisor. At the state of the two elves, they had forgotten everything except here and now, and the overwhelming need that demanded release.

"You…just…did." Erestor was not sure what else to say.

Elrond smiled.

"I would like to taste you…more."

Erestor swallowed. Was Elrond asking to…?

The half elf did not wait for an answer. He knelt in front of Erestor.

"You are beautiful."

As he did with his hand, he began to lick Erestor's half hard length. It grew harder. Erestor moaned and his knees almost gave way. His hands shot out and grabbed Elrond's shoulder, holding on for dear life. When Elrond swallowed his entire length, he screamed.

Celeborn hid a smile as his elven ears picked up a sound.

But he was not the only one who heard the scream.

"That was Erestor." Elrohir said.

Elladan shrugged. "Guess ada found him."

And they continued what they were doing.

Celeborn was glad that his grandchildren were very supportive of their father. Elrond had gone through a lot and the half elf needed happiness. Erestor went through more. They deserved to be happy.

"Was that…?"

"Yes, Haldir. I guess Elrond found him. Now, go to sleep."

Glorfindel smiled.

/At least you got one thing right, Elrond./

"Glorfindel?"

"Yes, love?"

Silence.

"When…everything gets better…you know, when things get fixed…"

"When you finally believe I love you, and we spend eternity together…" Glorfindel prompted.

"or…when we, you know…as a…token, spend one last time toge-"

"Eternity, Haldir. We will spend eternity together. There won't be a last time."

"um…whatever. I'd…uh…I'd like to…"

"What is it, Haldir?"

"I'd like to make you scream like that."

Glorfindel smiled. The healing herbs he had given to Haldir for his wounds when they reached the talan were having a slight side effect on Haldir's psyche. The March Warden kept mumbling things. Most were amusing.

"I love you, Haldir."

"No."

"Yes, Haldir. Don't argue. You'll lose."

Haldir remained silent.

Glorfindel's smile widened. He could do this. He would win Haldir back.

"I'll probably take you in my mouth and drink your seed until there is nothing left. Then I'll take you. Slowly." The younger elf said after a thought.

Glorfindel groaned.

"Then you'll take me…"

"Haldir, go to sleep!"

Erestor lied on the ground, eyes closed, and extremely satisfied. Elrond lay beside him, still fully clothed. The half elf was lazily tracing patterns on Erestor's chest.

"Are you alright?" he asked his advisor. Erestor's climax had been powerful. The elf's knees had given way and only Elrond's hands on his hips had kept him upright. Then the elf lord had brought them down on the grassy floor.

"Yes." Erestor's voice was slightly hoarse and he kept his eyes closed. He took a peek at the elf responsible for his current state.

"You are still clothed."

Elrond smiled.

"Yes, I am."

"Remove them." Erestor was conserving energy and he said as few words as possible.

"Is that an order?"

"Remove them, Peredhel!" Erestor was tired of playing games, playing hide and seek. He did not want to keep holding back his emotions. Elrond had just approached him. He did not know what it meant but he was going to enjoy every moment. It would probably only be for a short time anyway. Perhaps just this one day.

When Erestor opened his eyes, Elrond was before him, naked as well, smiling.

"What now, my lord Erestor?"

Erestor could not reply. He could only stare at Elrond's magnificent beauty. When they had made love so many years ago, he had not been able to observe the half elf's appearance. But now…

"You are beautiful. So beautiful." He reached out a hand and touched Elrond's chest.

His arousal grew hard for the third time, and Erestor knew this time would be different. Special. At least, for him, it would be. The most important moment in his life. This time, Elrond knew who he was and the elf lord wanted him. Him. Not anyone else. They were going to make love.

Elrond pulled Erestor into a sitting position. Then he lay on his back and spread his legs wide.

There was no doubt what he was offering.

"Elrond…are you sure?"

"Oh yes, Erestor. I am quite sure." Elrond's eyes showed that there was no doubt he wanted this. Assured, Erestor moved between Elrond's legs, lying over the elf lord. Their erections brushed and the two elves moaned. Then Erestor leaned over for a kiss as his hands roamed the half elf's body. After ravaging Elrond's lips, he moved to nibble on the elf lord's ear. As he did so, he wrapped his fingers around the half elf's arousal.

"Oh gods, Erestor."

Moaning and writhing, Elrond's movements encouraged Erestor and he became bolder in his explorations. He had been waiting for this for so long. He felt like his heart would burst.

"Oh yes! Gods, Erestor, I love you!"

Erestor froze. He slowly lifted his head. Elrond groaned in frustration as Erestor ceased everything he was doing.  
"What did you say?" 

Elrond tried to clear his mind. 

"I said I love you." Elrond smiled.

But Erestor was not pleased. He stood up abruptly, looking around for his clothes.

"Erestor?" Elrond was puzzled. What had hap…

"You spoke to Glorfindel, didn't you? He told you! I cannot believe…Damn it!"

Elrond stood up as well. Erestor was visibly upset. And Elrond knew it was because the advisor thought that Elrond did not want this. Really wanted it.

"Erestor, I want this."

But Erestor continued to gather his clothing and started to put them on.

"Look, this is probably your idea of a way of making up for that damnable mistake you had made…"

Elrond flinched at the vehemence of Erestor's voice.

"I am sorry about that. I didn't know…"

"I know that you didn't. Look, Elrond, it's all right. It was an…an honest…mistake. You were drunk. You didn't know. It was my fault. I shouldn't have taken advantage…" Erestor felt tears welling up in his eyes. Damn! He was not going to cry!

In the middle of his tirade, Elrond glanced up. He had thought they were talking about him not finishing the letter, therefore not knowing about Erestor's confession. But Erestor said…drunk. The advisor was talking of something else.

/Drunk? Who was drunk? When did you take advantage of me?/

"Damn! I am so sorry, Elrond. When you arrived that day, you were so different…playful even. So happy. And then you were so…open, I thought you had…had begun to feel something for me too. Stupid, right?" Erestor laughed bitterly. He had been deluding himself. He had wanted, wished so hard for Elrond to return his feelings that he had misinterpreted Elrond's happiness that day.

"It's not stupid, Erestor." Of course he had no idea what the other elf was talking about. He hoped Erestor would tell him. 

"You had no fault in it, Elrond. You were drunk. It was all my fault. But when you kissed me, I was so sure you were kissing…ME. So I…I could have stopped it anytime, but I didn't. See? It was my fault. You did not know…you didn't know that it was…me, and you thought…" He was not going to cry!

Elrond was getting more confused.

"And I thought you loved me, so I let you, because I had wanted it so much!"

Elrond tried to figure out what Erestor was referring to, but he needed to know more.

"It was my first time." Erestor whispered, staring out into the lake. "You were the first to ever take me. The only one I ever wanted to. And that night, you did. And it was the most wonderful night of my life." Erestor smiled sadly. "You didn't know…"

First time? 

/First to take you? But I have never….I would remember something like that! When…/

"And the next morning, I was too excited and so I woke up early, to maybe surprise you or something. I could not help smiling. I knew I must have looked like a fool. And I was."

"No, you are not, Erestor." /When? Erestor, when did this happen? I don't remember? How can I not remember?/ Elrond wanted to ask, but he was afraid it would scare Erestor away. Or would hurt the other elf more. From Erestor's voice and actions, Elrond knew that whatever it was, it had caused tremendous pain to his advisor.

"It hurt so much when…when you told me. I wished you never did. I should have left the room! I should have. But then I didn't know. I thought you knew you were making love to me. And when you said…when you told me you had…a dream…that you were with the one you loved…I thought you were referring to me…" Erestor was crying now, there was no way he could stop the tears.

Elrond's heart felt a cold dread creep up as his memory was jostled. Drunk…Erestor said he had been drunk…and then telling Erestor he had a dream…

Maybe it would have been impossible to remember. But Elrond did, because he had only gotten drunk a few times in his life. And Erestor was present in only one of them. And that was when he had a welcome party…after getting back from Lothlorien…

/Oh, Valar, No! No, please. Erestor, I didn't…I didn't…/ Elrond remembered what he said that day.

"But you weren't. You were talking about…about…her."

/No! Oh, Erestor…/

"You told me you…you…had the most…wonderful dream…"

"Erestor…" 

"You were…with her…the one you…loved." The last word was said with so much pain Elrond felt tears in his eyes as well.

"You were making love to her. The entire night I was with you, you were making love to her."

Elrond closed his eyes and fell to his knees.

/no./

"Erestor…I…I am…sorry." Elrond whispered. His voice was filled with anguish at having hurt the elf he loved.

Yes, loved.

Elrond had loved Erestor for a long time.

And now, he didn't know if he even deserved a chance.

Erestor turned to face him, surprised. "Sorry? You? Oh, Elrond! You did not do anything wrong. You did not know. It was my fault! I assumed you could actually l..love m.me! Which was ridiculous! Why would you love me?" Erestor tried to laugh it off but his voice broke and he turned and ran. He could not bear it anymore.

It hurt too much.

/How could I have ever thought Elrond would ever, EVER love me anyway!/

He was such a fool!

He ran blindly, wearing only breeches. His tunic had been destroyed and there was no real point in putting on his cloak. He needed to get away. Far away.

He felt the pain in his heart build up until it was excruciating.

It was happening again.

/Valar please, let me die this time!/

As Erestor ran away, Elrond stood frozen where he was.

/No! Please, Valar, not Erestor! Please…I didn't…I couldn't have…/

But he did. He knew that he did. His memories of the night were unclear, but he was certain that he had been with someone that night. When he had woken up, he had been surprised to see Erestor in his room. He had not remembered anything past nearly passing out at the table. But somehow he had known…

/I knew I had been with someone. I woke up without clothes. But when I saw you, Erestor, in my room, I thought it had been a dream./

Elrond had not lied about that. Not completely. But he did lie about one thing.

/I never thought that you'd ever think that way of me, Erestor./

And he had just met the elf maiden that he thought he could spend eternity with. HE had been so sure, that he had…

/I convinced myself that the dream was of her. Because I felt so loved…/

So he changed a single detail.

/I told myself it was the liquor that had distorted my memory…that I was remembering incorrectly. I told myself I had been with her in my dreams./

But he knew it was a lie. In his heart, he remembered the night perfectly.

/When I thought I was dreaming…/

Elrond's eyes filled with tears.

/I was dreaming of you, Erestor./

"No!"

Elrond could not bear the thought that he had hurt Erestor with the one lie he had ever told his lifelong friend. At the time, he didn't think it mattered.

Breaking out of the painful trance, Elrond bolted after Erestor, taking the direction where the advisor's form disappeared.

/Gods, Erestor! Forgive me. Please forgive me…/

Elrond's mind was set on one thing as he ran.

He had to catch Erestor and beg.

/Erestor…/

"ERESTOR!!!!"

Erestor heard Elrond, but did not stop. He did not want to hear words of pity, of asking for forgiveness. Elrond would be sorry. He was a noble elf, and he would feel guilty.

But Erestor did not want Elrond to be sorry. He meant what he said, Elrond had no fault in what happened.

He wanted Elrond to be…he wanted…

/I want him to be in love with me./

Erestor was startled at the revelation and stopped running. Almost three thousand years have passed. He should have learned by now. He had died, his heart had turned cold, and still he wanted Elrond to love him.

//And now you know why you still live.//

Erestor did not react to hearing Manwe's voice. He was lost in his own thoughts.

/I still want him to love me! Why? He never will! Damn it, Erestor! Wake up from your stupid fantasy! Elrond will NEVER LOVE YOU!!/

And suddenly he was angry. At himself. Why can't he get it? Why won't his heart ever stop hoping?

/What does he have to do to get the message across that he will never love you!/

"Erestor."

The advisor whirled around to face Elrond who had caught up with him. The look of despair on the half elf eased the advisor's anger a bit.

"I am so sorry." His voice was hoarse with pain. 

Erestor shook his head. He was about to say something when Elrond moved closer to him. Then the elf lord knelt in front of Erestor. Bowing his head, Elrond pleaded for Erestor's forgiveness.

"I am so..sorry.."

Erestor was taken aback. He had not expected Elrond to kneel in front of him.

"I love you, Erestor…"

Elrond, naked and on his knees, tears on his face as he cried in earnest, looked like he had lost everything in the world for him, and only Erestor could bring it back.

It was too much. Erestor shook his head slowly, backing away. Also crying, he tried to get a grip on what was happening.

"Get up, Elrond."

"I love you…"

"No! Get Up, Elrond. You had no fault…Get up! Please…get up…." His voice sounded like that of a child's. All his anger from earlier had gone, leaving him bereft and grieving.

He could not take this. Not this. Once again, he turned and ran.

//You cannot keep running away, Erestor.//

He didn't listen. He ran blindly through the forests. He did not care where he was going. He needed to get away.

Erestor fell forward as Elrond tackled him from behind. On the ground, the two elves struggled until Elrond had his advisor pinned to the ground.

"Erestor, stop! Please!"

But the advisor continued to struggle.

So Elrond kissed him. Roughly.

Erestor fought at first but eventually gave in. Moaning a sob, he surrendered to his body's needs and ceased to struggle.

Elrond worked a hand between them and removed Erestor's breeches and threw them aside. Both elves were completely naked now. Elrond moved and straddled Erestor, keeping a tight hold on the advisor's hands, in case he tried to struggle again. Erestor's body tensed when their lips parted, as if getting ready to flee.

Elrond closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Decision made, he released one of Erestor's hands and reached for Erestor's arousal. 

Erestor renewed his struggles, despite his body's raging needs. He did not want to face Elrond and his pity.

But Elrond had caught his erection. The next instant, Elrond had positioned it on his entrance. With a swift move, Elrond impaled himself upon Erestor.

The advisor let out a surprised cry.

Elrond gritted his teeth. There had been no lubricant and Erestor was NOT small.

Erestor ceased struggling. He was suddenly still, both from shock and knowing that he might risk hurting Elrond further if he moved too much.

He looked into the elf lord's eyes, still shocked at what the other elf had done.

"Why?" He whispered.

"To make sure you won't go away."

"There are other ways, and they would not have hurt you!" Erestor was suddenly very angry. What was Elrond thinking? He did not have to do this to get Erestor to surrender. For one, right now the elf lord is far stronger than Erestor. Elrond would have been able to hold him down!

"I know."

"Then why would you do such a stupid thing?!"

"Because I love you." That was all Elrond said.. In his eyes, wet with unshed tears, emotions were evident. Sorrow, pain, guilt.

Love.

Erestor was stunned. It was there, so clear in Elrond's eyes, there was no mistaking it. He had the urge to deny it, tell himself it wasn't real, but he knew it was. There was no doubt about it.

"I am sorry." Elrond whispered in an anguished voice.  A tear dropped on Erestor's cheek. "So sorry…Please…"

But Erestor did not hear it. The only thing that was in his mind was Elrond's eyes so full of love…for him.

"You love me." It was a mere whisper, his voice filled with awe.

A trembling hand went to the back of Elrond's head and pulled him closer…closer…

Their lips touched. With twin moans the kiss deepened.

Their first real kiss.

Erestor could not believe this was really happening. And yet it was.

Tongues met and played against each other. Mouths were devoured, and explored. 

Another moan filled Elrond as he felt Erestor's arousal grow harder inside him.

Wrapping both hands around the half elf, Erestor moved and flipped them, changing their positions. With Elrond underneath him, Erestor was pushed deeper into the elf lord's body.

Elrond whimpered.

Without breaking their kiss, Erestor began to move slowly. His thrusts were deep and slow. He would pull out until only the head was wrapped in warmth, then would plunged in again.

"mmmpphhh….ohh..e..re.es..to..r." Elrond moaned and whispered against his lover's lips.

Erestor reached between them and took hold of Elrond's arousal and started to pump it in time with his thrusts. His movements began to speed up and the need for breath prompted the breaking of the kiss. Resting his forehead against Elrond's he continued the rhythmic movements.

"I..oh gods..Erestor…I love…ohhh…l.l..ove..ahhh…love…ohhh Valar…love…you."

Elrond's breathy declaration drove the advisor to the edge. Lifting himself on his free hand, he braced himself, then began pounding into Elrond in earnest. The elf lord's moans grew louder until he was saying Erestor's name over and over.

They were close. So close.

"Erestor!" Elrond felt his body convulse and then he was coming, his seed wetting both of them. Erestor stopped moving and held him, gently caressing his sides as his body spasmed with the effect of his orgasm.

When his body finally calmed and only his heart raced, Erestor gave him a gentle kiss, a slight brushing of their lips.

Elrond opened his eyes, trying to catch his breath. Erestor smiled, then hooked his hands behind Elrond's knees, then he pulled upwards, spreading Elrond further.

The half elf gasped. Erestor was still hard inside him. And in his new position, his advisor got buried even deeper, was able to touch him deeper.

"Ready?" Erestor asked in a husky voice. Elrond swallowed.

/Oh dear Valar./

"Yes."

Erestor nodded, acknowledging the confirmation. Then he pulled back and slammed deep into Elrond, his hands keeping the elf lord wide open as he thrust deeper and harder.

Elrond was the one who screamed this time as Erestor hit his sweet spot harder than ever.

"Erestor….O-ohhhh GODS…ERESTORRR!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"It's not funny! Rumil, stop laughing!" Elrohir looked at the elf who was shaking with laughter. He looked at his brother, who had his hands over his ears, like Elrohir did.

Celeborn smiled at the four younger elves. Then he looked at Ecthelion, who was also trying to hide his amusement.

"By the…How long will it take? Weren't they finished a while ago?!" Elladan said in an irritated voice.

"Yes, but they started another one." Orophin answered. Elladan shot him an annoyed glance.

"Is it even possible to recover that quickly?" Elrohir was also annoyed.

"Yes, Elrohir. We are elves." Celeborn told his youngest grandson.

"Are you speaking from experience, ata'da?" Elladan inquired, mischief twinkling in his eyes. Celeborn blushed, and the other five elves laughed.

Elrohir looked at the door of the kitchens when he heard his ada moan again.

"Maybe we should go someplace far. I have no desire to listen to ada and Erestor. He's ADA, for…!"

"They are a few meters from the door. They'd notice us and it might become more complicated. And I'd rather hear than see them anyway." Elladan answered, then clamped his hands tighter over his ears as Elrond let out another scream.

"Children should never be made to listen to their parent making love to someone who was like a parent to them!" Elrohir wailed.

When Erestor and Elrond had been running, they had not noticed they had been able to return to the Lord of the Golden Woods' talan. And now, they were making love, just outside the kitchens, where Elrond's twin sons and their friends, and his father-in-law were trapped in, hearing every moan that came from them.

"We should have left when we could."

Erestor lay on top of Elrond. Both were breathing hard and covered with a thin sheen of sweat. Heart racing, Erestor leaned up on his elbows to look at Elrond. The elf lord smiled at him lazily. He smiled back.

Slowly he eased out, then moved.

"I…can't believe you…can move."

Erestor smiled. "I am younger than you." Then he continued on his way down.

Elrond looked down at him.

"What are you doing?" The half elf asked.

Erestor looked up at Elrond, his lips hovering above the other elf's chest where Elrond's seed was scattered. Licking his lips, Erestor smiled wickedly.

"We need to get you cleaned up, my lord."

And he proceeded to lick Elrond clean. The half elf moaned and his head fell back. Erestor's hot tongue licked him clean.

Elrond closed his eyes and let himself get lost in sensation. If he wasn't so tired, he'd be growing erect again. But his two orgasms had been so intense they had drained him.

"Erestor!"

His advisor had taken his lax elfhood and was suckling him! Elrond gripped the grass beneath his fingers as the powerful suction drove all coherent thought from his mind. Finally, Erestor released him and moved to lie beside him.

Elrond turned and snuggled up to Erestor. He lay his head on Erestor's shoulder and placed his arm across the other elf's waist in a purely possessive manner.

"I love you, Erestor." He whispered. "And I am so sorry for…"

Erestor's fingers silenced his apology. He looked up at his advisor. Erestor smiled at him, tears brimming in his eyes.

"I have waited a lifetime to hear you say that you love me, Elrond. Don't apologize."

"I love you." He repeated, smiling as well. "I love you. I love you…." Over and over until Erestor kissed him.

"Oh gods, Elrond. I love you. I love you so much. But I never thought that you would ever…"

"I love you." Elrond said once more.

"You never gave any indication that you might…"

"I love you."

Erestor smiled. Elrond wanted him to stop doubting. He had never been happier in his life. "I love you so much, Elrond!"

The two elves shared another sweet kiss, all the love they have for each other being translated into actions.

Erestor pulled Elrond on top of him. Before Elrond knew it, he was inside his advisor.

And this time…

"OHH GODS…OHHH…OHHH…ELROOONNDDD!!!"

TBC

A/N: What do you think? Two less elves to worry about. Right? Maybe. Maybe not. Bwahhahaahaha!!

No. I have not forgotten about the deaths. Although I am still trying to incorporate the death of one of the elves. Remember, I said at least two? Well, the other one is semi-decided, while the other is complete nada. We'll see what the muse does. Stupid computer!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please Review.

AND THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT! 


	25. chapter 25

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. If I did, trust me, Middle Earth would be very different and the names of the characters would not be what they are now.

Warning: SLASH. M/M Er….self-pleasuring…and er…yeah. That's it for now.

A/N: FEEDBACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Glorfindel untangled himself from Haldir, who had fallen into deep slumber as the drugs finally worked their magic. He fixed the coverlet around the elf, then decided to take a bath while the March Warden slept. Bestowing a small kiss on his lover's forehead, he proceeded to the bathroom where he prepared a most welcomed and relaxing bath.

After preparing the tub of water, Glorfindel removed his clothes and stepped into his bath. He sighed blissfully, and took a comfortable position. He glanced at the room where Haldir slept, through the open doors of both bathroom and Haldir's quarters. He had kept them open to make sure that he would hear and be able to be at Haldir's side should the younger elf need anything. And he wanted to make sure that he could see Haldir. He did not feel at ease when the younger elf was not in his sight.

/I almost lost you, and there is still a chance that I will. I am not going to risk it./

Seeing that Haldir continued to sleep peacefully, he lay back and closed his eyes, sighing.

/Ah, Haldir. I love you so much. Please…don't…don't go./

Glorfindel slowly opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling of the talan.

/Don't leave me. I can't lose you. I love you./

/I love you so much./ 

Glorfindel closed his eyes once again.

/I've missed you./

His mind drifted back to earlier, to their brief kiss. And that's all it had been for awhile. Brief kisses. 

Glorfindel remembered the first time they had met. As soon as he had caught sight of the March Warden, he was hooked completely. He was not sure if it had been love at first sight, but the attraction had been strong. He knew that for a fact. And later that night…

Glorfindel groaned as he remembered their first time together. He felt himself grow hard at the memory, and let out a soft sigh.

"Haldir." The name came out a whisper.

More memories of their lovemaking came to the eldar's mind and his body began to ache for a touch that had been absent for too long.

Glorfindel moved his hand under the water and closed his fingers around his aching shaft. A blissful sigh came out as the heat from his palm added to the raging heat in his groin.

"Haldir…"

Whispering his lover's name, imagining it was the younger elf's hands instead of his, Glorfindel began to slowly move his hand up and down his length. He circled the head with his thumb before he moved back down the length.

"Oh…Haldir…I love you."

Faster, his hands moved. Too long. And he needed it so much.

"Haldir." His voice was rough with passion, and his hands moved faster still. His other hand clenched into a fist as he felt the impending explosion come closer with each stroke.

"Please…oh Haldir…"

He unclenched his free hand and moved to pinch his nipples. The pleasure intensified and he moaned.

"Gods. Haldir."

His movements became faster and harder, increasing the pleasure. In his mind, he watched Haldir's hand move faster over him, saw the younger elf smile at him. He smile back, his eyes still closed so he could see Haldir.

"Please…"

The younger elf reached out with his free hand to gently touch his face, even as Haldir continued to pump his aching shaft.

"I love you." Glorfindel whispered.

Haldir only smiled and moved faster.

Faster still.

Then Glorfindel was coming, his seed mixing with the water, and he was saying Haldir's name over and over as he came.

Glorfindel leaned back against the tub, exhausted. He looked towards Haldir's room, checking to see if he had disturbed the object of his fantasy not so long ago. Haldir remained asleep, oblivious to how he had just given the eldar pleasure.

Glorfindel lay back and released himself, still calming his racing heart.

He smiled, contented. 

/I miss you, love./

'I'd like to make you scream like that'

Haldir's words came back to the eldar and he smiled.

/You almost did, and you are not even awake, love./

Glorfindel chuckled, then glanced at Haldir again.

/I love you, Haldir./

"Are they done yet?" Elrohir asked. The two elves outside had been silent for a while. 

"I don't know. Maybe they are resting for round number…uh…I lost count." Elladan replied.

"I don't believe they are that strong, Elladan." Elrohir said in an annoyed tone.

"Actually…" Celeborn was about to say, when Elrohir interrupted.

"I know, I know. Elves are much stronger than they look. And age does not really affect that much." Elrohir sighed. 

Celeborn only smiled.

"Well," Orophin said as he peeked through the window. "They don't seem to be doing anything."

"Orophin, do not tell me you were watching them!" Elrohir gasped.

"What? No, of course not. This was the only time I looked." Orophin raised his hands in defense.

Elrohir sighed. "Sorry. It's just, this is very disturbing."

"Oh come on, Elrohir, we are all grown elves here. Very grown, considering we are all more than a thousand." Rumil said. "It's not that…bad. Besides, we just heard them."

"Rumil, that's my ada out there. Would you not find it disturbing if it was, say, Orophin doing that and you can hear everything?"

"Well, Elrohir, considering that my talan is beside Orophin's…" Rumil stopped as his older brother glared at him.

All eyes turned to Orophin.

Elladan laughed. "Rumil, how do you get to sleep? It must be every week."

"Every night, actually. And I got used to it." Rumil said nonchalantly. He ducked behind Elrohir as his brother threw a piece of bread at him. Laughter erupted.

And everyone promptly forgot the lovers outside the kitchens.

"Elrond"

"Hmmm."

"Elrond, wake up."

The Lord of Imladris pressed closer to the body next to him.

"No..too tired."

A chuckle.

"We really should get our clothes back."

"..no…sleep.." He tightened his arms around his lover.

"Elrond." Erestor said, trying to stifle a giggle. "We really should."

"Tired. Your fault."

"My fault? I didn't hear you complaining. And you were the one who started it."

"Your fault. Naked…by the lake…damn irresistible."

This time, Erestor let out a laugh.

"Come now, my lord. We…"

"Already did that. More than the number of times recommended for my age." Elrond kept his tight embrace around his advisor, and his face was hidden on Erestor's neck.

Erestor laughed again, shaking his head.

"Elrond…"

"Too tired."

"We are outside the kitchens."

That got the lord's attention. He lifted his head, squinting at their surroundings.

"What kitchen?"

"Lord Celeborn's kitchen." Erestor replied, indicating the small hut a few meters away from them, slightly obscured by tall trees.

"Oh no."

"And I believe, save for Glorfindel and Haldir perhaps, that everyone is inside." Erestor said. He had earlier spotted movement inside the kitchen, and heard laughter, Orophin threatening Rumil, Elrohir trying to stop him, supposedly, and Celeborn encouraging that the older Galadhrim throw apples instead of bread.

"Oh no." Elrond said again. He looked down at his lover, who was smiling rather sheepishly.

"I think they heard us when we were…you know. So we really should go get some clothes on before they decide to come and…tell us."

"This is your fault as well."

"What? How is it my fault?"

"Well, love, you ran this way."

"You chased me. And tackled me. And…uh…you..um…you know." Erestor blushed as he remembered Elrond's method of making sure he could not get away.

"I impaled myself on you." Elrond finished the sentence, loving how Erestor's face turned crimson. 

"Er…yes."

"You are right. My fault."

Erestor smiled.

"Only partly. You were the naked one by the lake." Elrond amended.

Erestor was about to reply when Elrond stood up abruptly. Offering a hand to his lover, the elf lord smiled. "Let's go elsewhere where we can…repeat our activities earlier. But without an audience." Elrond winked and Erestor blushed.

/Blush? I am not…Why am I blushing? I am over five thousand and yet I am acting like an elfling!/ Erestor thought to himself. Yet he did feel like an elfling. He had never been this happy in his life. Nor this satisfied. He felt so complete. He had an urge to laugh until he'd cry. His heart was full and content.

/Elrond. My lover./ Erestor smiled. /My lover./ He let Elrond drag him away towards a talan the elf lord occupied while they were staying in the Golden Woods.

/He loves me./ Erestor smile widened and he felt like shouting at the top of his lungs.

/He is mine./

There was a skip on his step as they moved toward the talan.

/He loves me. He is my lover./

He giggled. Elrond looked at him and raised a brow, but did not say anything and continued to lead him towards the talan.

/I love him. And he loves me./

His heart threatened to burst with happiness.

/He is mine./

Erestor sighed, satisfied.

/Until he sails to Valinor./

The unbidden thought was like a splash of cold water and Erestor stopped smiling. He almost missed a step and stumbled a bit. Elrond did not notice.

/He will sail…back to her./

Erestor had long ago decided not to go to the Undying Lands. He had no desire to live forever, since he had not wanted to live his life with love unrequited. 

Yet now, Elrond loved him back. Now he wanted forever, if only to spend eternity with his beloved.

Only his beloved's beloved, the one who had Elrond's heart first, the mother of the elf lord's children, was waiting…in Valinor.

/And you will return to her./

Erestor felt sorrow that threatened to overwhelm him. But he was able to fight it off.

/No. I will not think of that. Only of now./

Erestor watched the elf dragging him.

/Only now, and the time that you are mine./

He smiled, albeit a little sorrowfully.

/I will cherish every moment that you give me, Elrond. What's hers is hers. But for now, and while you are here in Middle Earth, you are mine./

And when the time came to let go, Erestor knew that he would not hold Elrond back, knowing that the elf lord belonged with his wife.

/I will even accompany you to the sea. Watch you sail away. But until then…/

/Until then, you are mine./

And for now, that was all that mattered.

Haldir smiled as he felt the hand snake down his chest. Fingers unlaced his robe and pushed it aside, baring his skin. He felt the air touch him. Then the fingers were there, roaming, caressing.

Haldir kept his eyes closed, simply enjoying the feeling of it all.

When fingers pinched a nipple, Haldir moaned and arched towards the touch. His nipple was rolled between two fingers, and Haldir gasped. Yet his eyes remained closed. He was still not completely out of slumber and he was not sure of he was dreaming.

The hand left his aching nub of flesh and moved to his belly, a finger tracing the shape of his navel, then continuing further down. His breeches were opened, and the hand pulled out his aching erection.

"oh..please.." Haldir moaned as he tried to get closer to his tormentor.

Only a finger touched him, tracing a line on top if his erection, from the base to the tip.

"please…" Haldir needed more. He had been waiting for so long.

Another hand cupped his arousal, gently holding it, while the finger teased the slit, opening it, trying to bare it.

"Oh yess." Haldir's hips rose off the bed and his eyes snapped open.

The hand holding him tightened, and his arousal was enclosed in a firm grip.

Pleasure shot through him and he turned to look at his lover.

The sleepy haze cleared and he was able to see the elf touching him, holding him, pleasuring him.

Rhyden.

TBC

Please wait till the end before reacting violently. 

A/N: Ehehe. Sorry about the delay again. Please send feedback. Thankies.

THANKS FOR THE REVIEW.


	26. chapter 26

Disclaimer: Not mine but someone else's.

WARNING: **NONCONSENSUAL SEX aka RAPE. Not too violent (I think.) but still!!! **

**SLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**SOME VIOLENCE.**

A/N: Er…I don't like this part. But I needed it for the story. Please react violently.

Haldir's eyes widened and he felt a coldness sweep through him as he realized who was touching him. A sick feeling welled up inside him. He jerked away, trying to dislodge the other elf. But Rhyden's grip on his cock tightened until it hurt. Haldir stopped moving.

"Hello, March Warden." Rhyden said with a wicked smile. "It's been a while."

Haldir glared at the elf with hatred. He clenched his hands, intending to strike, no matter how vulnerable he was at the moment. But before he could move, Rhyden's other hand pressed a knife against his neck.

"I would not do that, Haldir."

The March Warden did not care. He would not let this elf…

"You would not want Glorfindel hurt, now, would you?"

Haldir stopped, then followed Rhyden's line of sight.

Glorfindel was tied to a chair, gagged and unconscious. His forehead had a small cut, probably from when he was struck.

"Oh gods…Glorfindel." Haldir turned to Rhyden, his eyes blazing with anger.

"Relax. He is alive. But he won't be for long if you do not cooperate."

Haldir knew he could not afford to have Glorfindel hurt. He was not sure he was strong enough to fight Rhyden successfully. Eyes filled with hate, he looked at Rhyden.

"What do you want?"

Rhyden smiled, a triumphant gleam in his eyes.

"Lie back."

Haldir did as instructed, glancing at Glorfindel.

/Please, be alright. I am so sorry./

Rhyden reached for Haldir's robe sash and used it to secure both of Haldir's hands to the bed.

"Beautiful.' Rhyden licked his lips lewdly as he surveyed the prize that lay spread on the bed.

"I have waited for this, for so long."

"Just shut up and finish this. Then leave!" Haldir spat, wrath lacing every word. He would not let this elf hurt Glorfindel. And if the only way to do that is to let Rhyden have his way, then so be it.

"Impatient, aren't we?"

Rhyden chuckled.

"I am going to enjoy this." He whispered.

He discarded his clothes and climbed on top of the bed, settling between Haldir's thighs that he had parted.

Rhyden was not too patient either, and started to ravish Haldir immediately. He kissed Haldir roughly, bruising the other elf's lips. The March Warden remained impassive, but Rhyden no longer cared. He moved lower, biting Haldir's neck, sucking skin. Haldir winced at the pain, but closed his eyes and endured it.

For Glorfindel. 

Haldir closed down his mind and let it travel elsewhere. Rhyden could do anything he wanted. It did not matter. All that mattered was Glorfindel has to be kept safe.

/I love you, Glorfindel./

Haldir opened his eyes and turned to look at the eldar, still tied to the chair. He smiled sadly. He knew now there was no way he would not go to Mandos.

/Be happy with Ecthelion, love./

The March Warden winced when Rhyden bit his nipple. Hard enough to draw blood. Haldir did not care.

/I am sorry that you had to be hurt for this. I never meant to hurt you, Glorfindel. I am so sorry./

Rhyden moaned and made other sounds, but Haldir did not hear them.

He did not care.

But when he felt Rhyden's fingers at the entrance of his body, he stiffened. Only Glorfindel had ever touched him there, ever taken him. He closed his eyes shut, blocking out the world.

Rhyden pushed his fingers inside Haldir, not bothering to use lubricant. Haldir gritted his teeth, and tears threatened to surface, but he did not allow it. He would not cry. Not because of Rhyden.

Two fingers. It hurt like hell.

"Oh…SO tight, Haldir. So tight. And hot. This is going to be good." Rhyden said as he moved his fingers inside the March Warden. He could not wait to bury himself inside the tight heat.

Haldir heard a moan, but continued to keep his eyes shut. Rhyden had removed his fingers and placed the head of his arousal at Haldir's entrance.

Another moan. But Haldir knew it was not from him. Nor was it from Rhyden.

His eyes flashed open, and he saw Glorfindel had awakened, and was staring at them in horror.

"Glor…"

Haldir did not finish as Rhyden plunged into him and pain ripped through the March Warden. Haldir stiffened, and began to pull at the bonds that held him. Rhyden kept moving, pounding into him and the pain was unbearable. 

Haldir. Tears now in his eyes, looked at Glorfindel who was struggling, crying as he watched Haldir being violated.

"I'm sorry." Haldir whispered, eyes still on Glorfindel.

Rhyden caught the words and looked at him, still thrusting. Seeing that Haldir had his head turned, he followed, and saw the eldar, wide eyed, watching them. And he laughed. Rhyden laughed.

"See anything you like?" He asked in a leering tone, even as he thrust into Haldir harder.

Glorfindel's eyes turned to look at him. It was filled with hatred. Glorfindel began to struggle in earnest. He was cursing through the gag, straining to get free, to hel Haldir, to…to do something. Anything! He had to stop Rhyden. Had to…

Rhyden laughed at the eldar's efforts.

"He is hot. And tight. Oh gods, squeezing me. Pleasuring me." He taunted the eldar.

"Shut up!" Haldir said through gritted teeth.

But Rhyden paid no heed. He placed his hands behind Haldir's knees and pried them further apart, spreading the elf more, pounding deeper.

"Mine!" He roared, and plunged in once more, then came, deep inside the March Warden.

Glorfindel strained against the bonds, trying to get free, Haldir could see, but he knew it was futile.

"Don't." Haldir whispered to the eldar as Rhyden collapsed on top of him. "Glorfindel, don't."

Glorfindel turned teary eyes to him. 

"I don't want you hurt." Haldir said in a broken voice.

He shook his head and smiled, to reassure his love.

"It doesn't matter, anyway."

Glorfindel shook his head, still trying to get free. He tried to say something through the gag, tell Haldir he was wrong, but Haldir turned away and stared at the ceiling. 

The coldness came back. It filled him, surrounded his heart. Then the pain stopped. Finally.

Rhyden raised himself, smiling, smug and satisfied. He pulled away, standing up.

Haldir remained motionless, his eyes staring at the ceiling of his talan, his legs spread apart. He was bleeding. He knew. But he did not care.

There was no pain. No more pain.

Haldir smiled.

It was gone.

Only cold. 

He felt himself float, and he looked around, and he was…he was floating above the bed, and he could see Glorfindel struggling, and Rhyden was talking. 

Then he looked at the bed. And there he was.

How could that be?

He peered closer.

Yes. It was him.

But…his eyes.

They were lifeless.

He was dead.

Finally.

He was floating away.

But he couldn't leave. Not yet. Glorfindel was still in danger.

He could not leave yet.

He saw Rhyden pick up a knife. The dark-haired elf was smiling evilly. Then Rhyden moved behind Glorfindel. The eldar did not realize it, because he was still trying to get free…to get to Haldir.

Haldir saw Rhyden lift the knife.

He was going to kill Glorfindel.

/No!/

Haldir lunged. He did not think, he only knew he had to stop Rhyden. But he was but a ghost. He would not be able to touch…

Rhyden stumbled backward as something hit him. He looked around wildly, but there was no one there. He reached for the knife that he had dropped. But suddenly, it was hovering, then moving…towards him.

Glorfindel turned his head when Rhyden was knocked over. He was not sure what happened, but…the knife. It was floating.

Rhyden screamed as the knife plunged into his heart. Over and over.

Glorfindel watched in horror, not sure what was happening as Rhyden was stabbed, over and over again. Blood was everywhere.

Then it stopped and the knife dropped to the floor.

Glorfindel looked around, still trying to figure out what happened. He felt the bindings on his wrists loosen, and the gag fell away. He was free.

He stood up, moving towards the bed, yet looking around.

"Who is there?"

Haldir watched Glorfindel looking around the room frantically. He smiled. Glorfindel was safe. He could leave now.

"Please…who are you?"

Haldir stopped. He looked at his lover.

"I…I love you." Haldir whispered, then turned to leave…float away. Forever.

"Haldir?" Glorfindel's voice hitched.

Haldir turned around, wide-eyed.

Glorfindel could see Haldir now. The light passed through his lover's ghostly form, but he could see it.

"no" Glorfindel shook his head, then turned to the still figure on the bed. He clutched the March Warden's hand.

"No!" 

Haldir, on the bed, felt cold. And his heart did not beat, his eyes were without life.

"No.nononononooo" Glorfindel fell to his knees.

"Haldir, no…" His voice held so much pain. He shook the lifeless body, trying to get it to move, to wake up.

Haldir could only watch as his lover tried to make him alive again. But he was dead.

It was okay. He had to make Glorfindel understand.

"Glorfindel…"

The eldar looked at him, tears falling from his eyes.

"Please, come back. Haldir, come back."

Haldir shook his head.

"Please. I am begging you. Don't leave me. Haldir…Don't leave me. I love you..Please." Glorfindel cried out, pleading.

"I can't." Haldir whispered. He moved next to Glorfindel, cupping the eldar's face. "It will be alright, Glorfindel. I promise. Everything is fine."

"NO!!! You cannot die. You cannot leave me. I love you. I love you! Please come back…" Glorfindel tried to hold onto him, but grasped only air. "Haldir, please come back. I'll do anything. Please…please…I …love you…love you…please." Glorfindel sobbed. "please…."

"I…" Haldir felt a pull, and he knew he had to go. "Everything will be all right, Glorfindel."

"NO! NO! Please…no."

"Sshhh. Everything will be fine. I love you, Glorfindel."

"no…"

"Be happy with Ecthelion." Haldir said. Then he began to float away.

"no."

Glorfindel stopped shaking the lifeless body in his arms. He was suddenly motionless.

"You cannot leave me, Haldir." Glorfindel whispered. "I am coming with you."

Glorfindel closed his eyes, unwilling to let go.

"I am coming with you."

Haldir shook his head. He was about to turn away, when Glorfindel's muffled scream stopped him.

Glorfindel lay in a fetal position on the floor, clutching his heart.

Haldir froze.

/No./

He knew what was happening. Glorfindel…

"No! You cannot die. I can't let you die." Haldir moved to Glorfindel's side. "No! Stop!"

"I am coming with you." Glorfindel's voice was weak.

Haldir shook his head vehemently. This was not supposed to happen. Glorfindel can't die.

/I…I cannot hurt you./

"Stop!" Haldir begged. But Glorfindel only closed his eyes.

"Eternity, Haldir. Together for eternity." The eldar whispered.

"No!!!"

But Haldir could not stop it.

The eldar stifled a scream as the pain became unbearable.

Then Glorfindel grew limp. His heart slowed, and finally, the eldar stopped breathing.

"NOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

TBC

Er…trust me?

A/N: There is a very logical explanation for all this. Please bear with me. Ty. Sorry about the chap. Has to be done, according to my muse. Hope to see you till the end.

'And now, the end is near, and so I face the final curtain….'

Please review – VIOLENT REACTION or otherwise.

THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	27. chapter 27

Disclaimer: TOL-KI-EN's.

WARNING: SLASH. Er…sexual content.

A/N: Ehehehehehehehehe…………………….

"NO! No! Glorfindel don't!" Haldir begged and pleaded, shaking the limp elf in his arms. "You cannot die. You are not supposed to die! Stop!" But Glorfindel remained unmoving.

"No! I'll come back. I promise. Just don't die! Please! Don't die! I'll come back. I won't die, too! I promise. Please!"

Haldir could not bear to think of Glorfindel dying. Especially not because of him.

"Wake up! Glorfindel! Please! I won't die! I won't! Just come back!"

Haldir, frantic, reluctantly released the eldar, and climbed onto the bed…to his body. He was not sure he could go back. He was not sure how to. But he had to.

"Please. Please." He continued to speak as he tried to find a way to live again.

"I won't die. I promise. Just please…"

"Haldir." Glorfindel's voice was faint, as if from far away. Haldir looked up, but Glorfindel was not there.

"Please!" Haldir screamed.

"Haldir!" The voice was louder now.

"I am coming back! See? Like you asked! Glorfindel, please! Come back, too. Please!"

"Haldir! Haldir!" The voice was loud and clear now. And Haldir was shaking.

No. He was being shaken.

Haldir opened his eyes.

"Haldir! Come on, love. Come back to me." Glorfindel was holding him, looking worried, fear in his eyes…but very much alive.

"Glorfindel!" Haldir's arms wrapped tightly around the eldar's form, holding on for dear life. 

"You came back. You came back. I am sorry. So sorry… Please…don't die. Please. So sorry. So sorry." Haldir said over and over as he clutched the eldar to him, unwilling to let go.

Glorfindel soothed the agitated elf, knowing that Haldir just had a nightmare. He had heard the younger elf screaming while he was finishing up his bath. He had rushed over, not bothering to put on clothes, nor wiping himself dry. So there he was, Haldir's arms around him like steel traps, and he was naked and dripping wet. But he paid not heed.

" It's alright, Haldir. It's all right. It was just a dream. Just a dream. " Glorfindel said, trying to comfort the other elf who still clung to him.

"so sorry. So sorry." Haldir kept saying, and the tears fell and he could not stop them. 

"Haldir, everything is alright. It was just a bad dream." Glorfindel continued to soothe Haldir, rubbing the younger elf's back, bestowing light kisses on top of Haldir's head.

It was awhile before he was able to calm Haldir down. But Haldir did not release him. When he tried to move, Haldir's grip tightened painfully and fear appeared in the younger elf's eyes.

"No! Please don't leave! Please!" Haldir begged, still not fully aware that it had all been a dream.

"Haldir, I am only going to get some clothes." Glorfindel tried to assure his lover, but Haldir shook his head.

"No! No, please. Please…"

Glorfindel sighed. "It's alright, Haldir. I am not going anywhere then. Okay?"

Haldir's response was to slightly, very slightly slacken his hold, yet it was still firm enough that Glorfindel could not move away.

"Why don't we lie back on the bed?" Glorfindel suggested.

Haldir moved back, pulling the eldar with him. Glorfindel, outbalanced, fell sprawled on top of Haldir. The March Warden rolled and trapped the eldar beneath him. He then buried his face on Glorfindel's neck, keeping his arms around the eldar tight.

"Haldir, I am not going anywhere. I promise."

Haldir did not reply. He continued to hold the eldar, and the silent tears still fell.

Glorfindel knew that Haldir would not talk to him just yet. So he let it pass for now. Later. They would talk later.

"Haldir? Why don't you lie beside me? It would be more comfortable." Glorfindel was worried. His position was just fine with him, but Haldir may not be.

"Am I heavy?" Haldir asked in a whisper.

"No." Glorfindel replied.

Haldir remained where he was.

They were quiet. No words were said. The eldar let Haldir calm down first, recover from whatever nightmare had plagued him. Glorfindel knew that Haldir had not fallen asleep. He began to worry when Haldir continued to cry. He wanted to say something, maybe ask. But he was not sure Haldir was up to talking at the moment.

"You died." 

The voice rough, trembling with pain, the tears clogging Haldir's throat making it difficult to speak. But Glorfindel heard it.

" I am here. It was just a dream. I am here, Haldir."

Haldir buried his face on Glorfindel's neck and his sobs increased, his entire length shaking with emotion.

"I killed you!" He cried out.

"No, you didn't. I am here and alive, Haldir. It was just a bad dream."

Haldir looked at the eldar with tearful eyes.

"You don't understand. I killed you. I left you and you came with me and I killed you."

Glorfindel still could not make sense of what Haldir had dreamed about.

"Haldir, you did not. I am here. See?" He said, moving his hands to hold the younger elf's face. 

"I'm so sorry." Haldir insisted.

"There is nothing to be sorry about."

Haldir once again placed his head against the crook of Glorfindel's neck. Glorfindel sighed and continued to soothe Haldir.

"It is alright, Haldir. Everything is alright." He whispered.

When Haldir did not reply, Glorfindel kept quiet as well. Once again, Haldir broke the silence.

"I died."

Glorfindel stiffened at Haldir's words, but refrained from reacting.

Haldir continued.

"I…I wanted to die, and I did. You begged me not to, but I didn't listen. Then you…you followed me." Haldir's voice broke and he inhaled deeply. He had deliberately left out Rhyden's presence in his dream. It was not…important.

"oh, Haldir."

"I killed you." Haldir remembered Glorfindel telling him he would follow. He never thought the eldar would. It had been a dream, but to Haldir, all events had been too real.

Glorfindel did not know what to say. He knew that if Haldir did fade away, he would follow. But he had never really thought about how it would affect the younger elf. He had not realized how Haldir would be affected with the knowledge that Glorfindel would die if the March Warden did. Haldir had obviously been deeply troubled with the idea since he was having nightmares about it.

"Haldir, I…"

Haldir reached out silenced Glorfindel with a kiss. In fact, he barely heard the eldar.

Glorfindel was surprised, but he did not pull away.

Haldir desperately needed to feel Glorfindel. He had to be sure that this was not a dream. That Glorfindel was really here. 

/I killed him!/ Maybe he shouldn't be kissing the eldar. He had no right to. He had…hurt the eldar. It had been a dream. But it felt so real.

//Then it is right that you are kissing him, my child. After all, he died so he could be with you. Be with him.//

Haldir barely registered in his mind Vairye's advice, too intent on his lover.

The kiss was fierce, at first. But desperation turned to passion, and Haldir gentled the kiss. His embrace loosened and he moved his body so it now lay on top of the eldar, fully, and they were at similar heights. His hands moved to explore the body beneath him. Glorfindel moaned.

After the emotional roller coaster, Haldir was left with the need to make love to Glorfindel. To…love him, with no words. 

Haldir explored Glorfindel's mouth. He used his tongue to trace the eldar's lips, then dove into the moist cavern of his lover's mouth. He teased Glorfindel's tongue, softly gliding over it with his own. His fingers skimmed over the eldar's skin, lightly touching caressing.

Glorfindel moaned louder and arched his back, trying to get closer. 

The eldar wanted to touch Haldir as well. But the March Warden's robes hindered him. His hands went to the laces of the robe and began to remove them.

When Haldir felt what the eldar was doing, he helped, shrugging off his clothes.

Soon, they were touching skin to skin.

"I love you." Haldir whispered against Glorfindel's ear. He felt the eldar smile.

"love you, too."

Somehow, the words sounded different to Haldir. Glorfindel meant them. And Haldir believed, fully believed. 

Tears pricked behind his eyes.

"I know." He whispered, then took the eldar's mouth in another breathtaking kiss.

Desire took over and the two elves allowed themselves to lose control. Moans and incoherent words filled the talan as the lovers were one again together. 

They reacquainted themselves with each other's bodies. Once again, they explored territory that had been theirs, yet for a while lost.

As they explored, they climbed towards oblivion, moaned as pleasure filled them. Gasped as it became almost painful, yet…not. Then finally, screamed as they came, Haldir filling the eldar with his release, whilst Glorfindel came between their bodies.

Afterwards, they lay tangled on the bed, arms around each other, and unwilling to let go.

"I love you." Haldir whispered once more, before he let himself be lulled once again into sleep as the herbal medicine reclaimed him. Glorfindel kissed Haldir on the forehead, smiling as he watched his lover drift back to sleep. He knew that the drugs were still in Haldir's system.

"I love you, too, Haldir. Im mela lle."

Glorfindel remained awake, holding the March Warden, guarding him from any more nightmares.

As he felt the younger elf snuggling against him, he felt tears in his eyes. But this time, it was of happiness. He looked out the window, at the trees and the sky, and he smiled.

"Thank you." He whispered.

And the Valar gods smiled.

//You are welcome. Don't let him get away again, Glorfindel.//

"I won't."

And he knew that not even death would separate him from Haldir.

Still TBC

And the end is near, yet still so far.

A/N: I was planning to leave the previous chap a cliffie and not post this, for, like, a week or something. But I kinda had a semi-guilt trip where I had the I-realize-I-am-not-that-cruel  kind of epiphany. So I posted this as soon as I received the first review of chap 26. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmmm…wonder how many readers I lost with that little number? Bwahahahahah!!!!

THANKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	28. chapter 28

Disclaimer: The characters are the property of jrr tolkien and company. I do not own them. Except maybe rhyden, but I am giving him away.

A/N: Sorry. Muse is dying. 

"Ata'da?" Elrohir called out to his grandfather who stood by the lake, staring out into the horizon. The sun was setting and Arda was beginning to succumb to darkness. 

Celeborn turned to look at his grandson. He offered a small smile, then returned his gaze back to the setting sun. "The world has changed a great deal." Celeborn spoke softly, sadness lingered in his voice. Elrohir did not say anything as his grandfather continued.

"There was a time when elves were everywhere. Now, there are but a few of us left."

"Our time has ended." Elrohir replied. 

Celeborn smiled. "I know." He took a deep breath. "I never thought it would be like this, though. Somehow, the end is never quite what you pictured it."

"Things rarely are, ata'da."

The two elves became silent. Elrohir glanced at the lord of the Golden Woods.

"Do you miss grandma?" he asked hesitantly.

Celeborn nodded. "But I have made my choice. I have to live with it."

"Why did you not go with her?"

Celeborn hesitated, unsure how he could explain to his youngest grandson the reason for his choice. 

"Do you not love her anymore?"

"Of course I love her. I will always love her, Elrohir. Nothing can change that."

Elrohir never understood why Celeborn chose to remain in Middle Earth when Galadriel chose to sail. The person Elrohir loved the most in the world was his twin, and what they had was brotherly love, yet he would not leave Elladan for anything. If Celeborn loved Galadriel, truly loved her, then would their connection not be deeper? Yet his grandfather chose to be parted with his wife.

"Then why did you stay?"

"Because this is where I belong. I have seen so many things happen here. It is where I was born, where I grew up, where I met your grandmother…." Celeborn looked at Elrohir, somehow willing him to understand. "This is where I started. It will be where I will end."

But Elrohir still did not understand.

"But shouldn't your love for grandma be where you begin and end?"

Celeborn laughed lightly. The young ones were always so romantic. Elrogir was not so young but, compared to Celeborn, he would seem a child.

"Your grandmother and I love each other, Elrohir. Very much. But the kind of love that makes a person your entire world is very rare. To find the person where everything starts and ends, is a special and rare gift. If in any lifetime you find it, then you very are lucky. But not everyone finds it. Oh, we find love. The way your grandmother and I did. But it was not as soul-deep as the one you have in mind. We loved, but we did not revolve around each other. And we both knew it." Celeborn took a deep breath. "In my lifetime which has been a very long time, I have rarely seen such love."

Elrohir nodded in understanding, finally seeing what his grandfather was telling him. He has also been in Arda for a long time. He has seen a lot of people in love, but he has rarely seen two people who held each other with so much love as to touch the hearts of everyone around them. Elrohir knew that very few people found a love that encompassed everything. He himself has not found such a love, and doubted that he ever will.

"I understand, ata'da."

"I remained because to me, this is where I belong."

The two elves continued to stare at the horizon until the sun disappeared behind the mountains, and Arda was plunged in darkness. Soon, the stars will come, and Ithil will rise to the skies.

"Ata'da?"

"Hmmm"

"Haldir and Glorfindel..?"

Celeborn nodded in agreement.

"As Aragorn and Legolas."

Without any further explanations, the two elves understood. They were fortunate to have witnessed two of the most sacred of all loves.

And, though he knew he shouldn't, Elohir could not help but ask. Perhaps he and Elladan were not the only one who wondered if…

"Ada and Erestor."

Celeborn hesitated. "You accept their relationship fully?"

Elrohir laughed. "Elladan and I always have. Ever since we were young, we had somehow sensed that there was something between them, but we were never able to name it."

Elrohir and Elladan were always smarter than people thought them to be at times, even when they had been very young. And more intuitive than Erestor and Elrond ever gave them credit for.

"Erestor was always there. Not once was he absent whenever we needed help. We were always his priority. And the way he would do just about everything for ada…"

"Hmm. That is true." Celeborn had noticed it as well. Added to that was the fact that Erestor seemed to only stay away whenever Elrond and Celebrian were together, yet not so far away as to be unavailable should he be needed. And Celeborn had seen Erestor's longing in the advisor's eyes at times when Erestor accidentally let his guard down.

"Do you think your father loves Erestor as much?"

The younger elf fell silent for a moment. "I do not know. All I know is that ada never looked at anyone the way he does Erestor."

Then he remembered that night so long ago, when his mother was still with them. Imladris was attacked, and Elrond got injured when he crossed the borders to help the elves who were unable to get to safety. It was Elrohir who had carried his father back to the house. On their way, Elrond had asked for Erestor, over and over. At the time, Elrohir had thought it odd, since Erestor was not even a healer, but he never gave it much thought, until now.

"He has never needed anyone like he did Erestor, though he never really realized it. In his direst moments of need, Erestor is the person he goes to."

Celeborn knew of this. He had always known that somehow, Celebrian wasn't the one who truly held Elrond's heart. The marriage had been convenient for all. It forged an alliance between Imladris and Lothlorien. And Elrond had loved Celebrian…just not the way he loved Erestor, which at the time the half-elf never realized he did.

"For the wisest elf, ada was certainly slow to pick up on Erestor, and what he felt for Erestor." Elrohir joked.

Celeborn laughed. "True. But your father and Erestor have always been close. Perhaps that closeness had caused him to miss the signs, even the promptings of his own heart."

"Do you think nana knew?" Elrohir asked. 

Celeborn was not sure if he should answer. He had been worried, when he first realized that Elrond had feelings for the advisor even though the half-elf did not yet realize at the time. He had worried about how Celebrian would react should she realize it as well. As a father, he did not want his daughter hurt. Yet he needn't have worried. 

"She did. In fact, she pointed it out to me once."

Elrohir looked at his grandfather in surprise. "And she did not say anything?"

"Your mother knew, and understood. Erestor was part of your ada's life long before she came into the picture. They were already married when she realized it, but she had known of the hidden feelings between your ada and Erestor."

Celeborn smiled at the memory of his daughter discussing Elrond's stupidity at not seeing how Erestor felt for him.

"She even thought about matchmaking them, since your father was obviously too blind to see."

Celebrian had accepted the fact, and she never held it against Elrond nor Erestor. It was enough that Elrond loved her as well.

Elrohir was stunned. But he understood. And now, he knew a part of his mother that made her all the more precious to him, not only because Celebrian was his mother, but because she was a wonderful person. Very few wives would have accepted such facts.

"Father is blind when it came to that. He almost lost Erestor."

"It was a good thing he had friends and family to help him."

Both elves laughed. 

"I thought ada would never get around to courting Erestor."

"A lot has changed indeed." Celeborn said seriously. The time of the elves was ending. But such end had allowed for new beginnings. 

Then again, maybe it wasn't quite the end yet.

After a while, moments spent in silence, Elrohir decided to go find his twin. Saying goodnight to Celeborn, he turned to leave. 

"Elrohir?"

"Yes, ata'da?"

"Thank you for understanding."

Elrohir smiled. "It's not that difficult to."

With that, the half elf turned and left.

Celeborn watched his grandson disappear into the forest, then turned his gaze back to the horizon. He continued his musings, and his conversation, as he was wont to do.

"You were right, Galadriel. They are very special children. Elrond is finally with Erestor, by the way…"

Sometimes, even after they have left, loved ones would always be there. 

Ecthelion watched the two elves talking from atop the tree he was on. After Elrohir left, Ecthelion could not help but smile when Celeborn went back to speaking with his wife, even though she was no longer there. Or maybe she was.

He had not meant to eavesdrop. He had been on the tree even before Celeborn came. But he did not have the heart to let his presence be known to the Lord of the Golden Woods, especially when the other elf began to speak to his wife. Then Elrohir came, and once again, he did not want to disturb grandfather and grandson. So he sat quietly.

He had come here to watch the sunset as well. He had always done so, ever since he started looking for Glorfindel. He had watched, because he wanted to share something with Glorfindel, should there be a chance that the other elf was watching the sunset as well.

Ecthelion sighed. He had never really thought about how their reunion would have been like. He had also entertained thoughts that Glorfindel would be with someone else. But he never really quite pictured it the way the events had played out.

Strangely, the hurt was not as painful as he thought it would be if he lost Glorfindel. He had seen Haldir's eyes. He knew without doubt that the March Warden loved Glorfindel very much. Could it be why it did not hurt so much to lose Glorfindel? Because he was losing his lover to someone worthy?

Maybe.

Or it could be the fact that he knew he already lost Glorfindel. In Rivendell, when Elrond had read the letter, he had known, in his heart, that something was different. And when he had seen Glorfindel in Helms Deep, on his knees and crying, he had known then. But he would not admit it at the time.

And he was right. Their kiss had been different. Very different.

They were different, but the kiss should not have changed. Not like that anyway.

Ecthelion shook his head.

/Why am I torturing myself?/

/Because there is nothing else I can do? And I need some closure?/

He had not really entertained thoughts on what he felt losing Glorfindel. And now that he did, he was surprised.

/I am a better elf than I thought I was./

He had let Glorfindel go, knowing that his lover was meant to be with Haldir, without harboring any hard feelings for both. Maybe he was a little envious of the March Warden. But that was it.

"Yes, I know that there is someone listening, Galadriel. But he seems to be in deep thought. I really do not want to disturb him." Celeborn's voice penetrated his thoughts and he nearly fell, surprised that the Lorien elf had known he was there all along. He looked down, but Celeborn was not looking at him. The elf lord was still talking.

"Now, now, love. You know that's not polite. Besides, he is a guest. I am sure he did not really mean to eavesdrop."

Ecthelion laughed quietly to himself.

"May as well go down." He climbed down the tree. When he was on the ground, Celeborn turned to face him. The Lorien elf smiled.

"Ecthelion." The elf lord said in greeting.

A little embarrassed at being caught, Ecthelion smiled a little uncertainly.

"Uh…Lord Celeborn."

"Celeborn. I am no longer lord." The Lorien elf corrected.

"I did not mean to listen…" Ecthelion wanted to explain but Celeborn cut him off.

"Oh, don't worry. I know you did not mean to. It's alright. Really."

Ecthelion nodded ,a little unsure, then moved to stand beside the elf lord.

"You…talk to her." He said a little uncertainly.

"Yes, I do." Celeborn offered no other explanation.

"Does she talk back?" The question was not meant to ridicule. It was really out of curiosity.

"Yes, in my mind. You see, when you have lived with someone for over seven thousand years, you get to know them so well, you would already know how they would reply to things that you say." Celeborn smiled. "That's how I talk to her."

Ecthelion smiled, the thought warmed his heart. "I see."

"Hmmm, the only thing different would be the fact that I will not be hearing her voice out loud. But even then, I can still hear it."

"You are very lucky to have found someone like that." Ecthelion said sincerely.

Celeborn looked at him, "Yes, I am."

The elf lord continued to look at the Balrog slayer.

"But we are immortal, it is not too late for you." Celeborn added.

Ecthelion shook his head.

"I have no real desire to find someone."

Both elves heard the unspoken word – 'else'

Ecthelion had tasted what forever was like with someone. Although he had accepted that he and Glorfindel were not meant to be, he knew that he no longer wanted anyone else to be with that way.

Celeborn contemplated the other elf's response, then nodded. He understood what it was like. Even now that he and his wife were parted, he had no desire nor need to find companionship in that way, even though Galadriel had given him permission to do so. Though he knew that to be with someone did not mean he was replacing his wife, Celeborn did not feel the need to.

They had experienced what it was like to be with someone that made them feel truly alive. Once was enough to last them a lifetime.

Erestor stood silently on the balcony of Elrond's talan, watching the sunset. Elrond lay sleeping on the bed, where a few hours ago they had made love several times. But while Elrond drifted off to reverie, Erestor found he could not sleep. After holding Elrond in his arms for a while, he went to the balcony where he now stood.

He still could not believe that he and Elrond were now lovers. Two days ago, he had been expecting to fade away, and now…

/and now he lays sleeping after making love to me./

Erestor was still reeling from everything that had happened. Everything had changed in one day. And all because of…

/Because of…chance?/

Why did it all happen suddenly, everything that he had ever dreamed of? Elrond loving him, making love to him?

It was all so overwhelming.

/And I am afraid that this could all be a dream./

But it couldn't be. It all felt so real. The pain, the pleasure. Not even in his most vivid dreams has Erestor been so satisfied or contented. It could not be a dream. He was not so imaginative as to recreate such startling reality.

/Elrond's touch…it is beyond any I have imagined. So much more. It cannot be a dream./

Erestor inhaled deeply.

Three thousand years. He spent millennia in pain, with unrequited love, never expecting it to be returned…thousands of years feeling numb inside, his hope that Elrond would ever love him long dead. And then, yesterday, in his most hopeless and painful moment, Elrond came and made all his dreams come true.

/I love him so much./

'I love you. Erestor.'

The words had brought a mixture of bittersweet emotions. Erestor could not believe it at first. But then… Elrond did what he did and Erestor was lost in a haze of pleasure and happiness. The pain had gone. In an instant, the pain he bore for thousands of years were wiped away by the only one who ever could.

/How long have you…we wasted so much time./

But no, Erestor would not dwell in the past. It was all behind them now. He would only think of tomorrow, and what lay ahead of them.

/Valinor./

The thought came unbidden, and Erestor inhaled deeply as the thought brought an ache to his heart.

/Valinor./

/I will lose you in Valinor./

Erestor closed his eyes. A sad smile formed on his lips as he made a decision.

/But I will not leave you. You will return to her, but I will be there when you need me. As a friend./

He would never come between Elrond and Celebrian, but he would not leave Elrond either.

Earlier, Erestor had decided to stay behind, thinking he could not bear to watch Elrond be reunited with Celebrian. But he had accepted the fact that Elrond and Celebrian were meant to be together. He would be there for Elrond, to be what he had been for the past thousands of years – a loyal friend. 

/Who will always love you./

He knew that no matter what, his heart would always belong to the elf lord.

It was enough that once, Elrond had loved him, too. He would treasure these moments. No one would ever be able to take them away. Ever.

Erestor's musings were cut short as an arm snaked around his waist and he was pulled against a warm, naked body.

"What are you thinking?" Elrond asked as he nuzzled his lover's neck, making the other elf shiver.

Erestor relaxed into Elrond's arms.

"Nothing." He did not want Elrond to know what had been going on in his head. He knew that the half elf would be too noble to let Erestor make such a sacrifice, and might think of breaking off their new found relationship to spare Erestor pain. And the advisor could not afford that. He did not want to lose Elrond as they already have such a short time together as it is.

"It seemed you were deeply thinking of…nothing." Elrond teased Erestor. He knew his advisor, and he knew when the other elf was hiding something important. This was one of those times.

Erestor closed his eyes when Elrond began to nibble his ear. One of Elrond's hand found a way inside the robe he was wearing and began a slow descent towards the advisor's arousal. Erestor rested his head on Elrond's shoulder as his knees began to quiver.

"It…really is…nothing." His breath came in gasps.

"You forget I know you, Erestor. You don't think of nothing." Elrond replied as he continued to tease his lover.

Erestor let out a loud moan as Elrond's hand closed around his erection. He was having a hard time following the conversation with Elrond doing such things to him.

"I…it's…ah…a…first…time." He reasoned, just before all thought left him when Elrond began to move his hand up and down Erestor's arousal. Pleasure erupted from deep inside Erestor and he nearly screamed.

"Hmm…I do not think so."

Bestowing light kisses on his lover's neck, Elrond continued to move his hand.

"Maybe I could coax it out of you."

Elrond's hands began to move faster. Erestor was lost in spiralling sensations as he felt his climax build.

Erestor was no longer coherent. The only thing keeping him upright was Elrond's arms around him as he buckled.

And he came, with Elrond whispering words of love to him.

Spent and weak, Erestor did not protest when Elrond carried him back to bed. 

The half-elf lay his lover on the bed. He got a piece of cloth and wiped away the evidence of what he had done. Not that the elf lord was trying to hide anything. Then he took his place beside Erestor. Propping himself up on one arm, Elrond used his other hand to caress Erestor's hair while the advisor calmed his breathing. Finally, Erestor's heartbeat slowed. But he kept his eyes closed, enjoying the feel of Elrond's fingers in his hair.

"Did you…" Erestor asked hesitantly, knowing that he had not done anything for Elrond.

"It's fine."

"But…"

"Erestor, I like to pleasure you. You do not have to do anything in return."

Looking down on his lover, Elrond smiled. "Besides, I came with you. You make the most arousing sounds."

Erestor blushed at his lover's words.

"So what were you thinking of?" Elrond asked.

Erestor smiled and shook his head. Elrond always had a one-track mind. He would not give up until he got what he wanted.

"I told you, it was nothing."

"It must be something important about us, then." Elrond stated matter-of-factly. 

Erestor opened his eyes and looked at his lover.

"And why is that?"

"Well, you are hesitant to tell me about it, whereas we have spoken of everything except things that are about us, as…us. We are new lovers, so you are not sure how to bring it up, because we have never had such conversations before. You are probably worried of how I would react to it, as you are not sure of how I would react. It must be something important, because things that are of no importance do not keep you awake after having been exhausted by our lovemaking." Elrond grinned at Erestor's somewhat dumbfounded expression. Then the advisor laughed.

"We have spent too many years together, we can practically read each other's minds!"

Elrond looked away.

"Not enough. If I did, then it would not have taken me so long to court you."

The laughter died at the seriousness of Elrond's tone.

"And I would know what it is that is troubling you so I could help. I would not feel this fear that it could be something I had done wrong. I would not be afraid that you are regretting what has happened between us and do not-"

"Stop right there!" Erestor straightened to meet Elrond's eyes. "I am not regretting anything! This is what I have wanted for years. I love you, Elrond! I will never regret being with you! Don't ever think that!"

Elrond offered a shy smile.

"I am sorry. It was irrational, I know. But I've hurt you so much I was afraid that it was too late."

Erestor shook his head. He cupped Elrond's cheek and made sure that their eyes met. "It is not too late. I love you."

Erestor moved closer and the two elves kissed each other gently. Finally they pulled back and settled back on the bed, holding each other.

"So what is it, then?" Elrond persisted.

Erestor groaned. "Elrond, give it up. Please."

"No. Is it about my being too slow?"

"No, Elrond. Stop-"

"About the time we wasted?"

"No-"

"About getting back at me for the pain I caused you?" 

"What? Of course not-"

"I was joking. Is it about making love outside the kitchen?"

"No-"

"Worried about Elladan and Elrohir's reaction? They are fine with it."

"That's not it. Elrond, just stop. I am not telling you."

Elrond inhaled deeply, but said nothing. Erestor closed his eyes. Maybe Elrond would finally let the subject go.

"Why not?"

Elrond's voice was soft, and a slight pain could be heard although he tried very hard to conceal it. Erestor sighed.

"Elrond, you would find out eventually. I just can't tell you. I…it's really not significant."

"Then why did you look so hurt?"

"I…I was just remembering. It was in the past. There is nothing we could do to change it. Everything just happened so fast and I…I still can't believe that we're really together." Erestor explained. It was not a lie. But it wasn't the whole truth either. He knew that if he told Elrond about his real thoughts, the elf lord would probably try to do the noble thing and stay with him. Elrond would probably feel guilty and volunteer to stay. And that Erestor could not allow. The half elf has to sail. It was what Elrond really wanted. Erestor was not going to hold him back.

"Elrond, it really was nothing. Trust me. I was just…remembering."

Elrond looked slightly doubtful, but he let it go. "Then stop remembering. I promise that I would never hurt you like that again. I hope that someday you will be able to forgive me."

"I have already forgiven you, melamin, the moment you kissed me." Erestor laughed.

Elrond smiled as well. Finally, the tension broke and they were teasing each other once again.

"So all I needed was to kiss you? Hmmm, then we still have a lot of kissing to do." Elrond brought his lips closer to Erestor. "About three thousand years worth."

Erestor chuckled. "Just kissing?" He whispered, watching Elrond lean closer, feeling the half-elf's hands caress his belly.

"And wherever else it leads." Elrond said, before silencing both of them with a kiss.

Glorfindel woke slowly. His arms reached out beside him for Haldir, and came up empty.

"Haldir?" When there was no reply, Glorfindel rose swiftly from the bed, looking around for his lover. Unable to find the elf, Glorfindel began to worry. "Haldir?" The seneschal went to the kitchens after putting on a robe. Searching the talan, he did not find Haldir anywhere. He began to panic. He rushed outside, calling out to his lover.

"Haldir!"

/Where are you?/

He tried his best to keep his calm. He rushed over to Rumil's talan, then Orophin's, hoping to find Haldir just visiting his brothers. But Haldir was not in either. The two elves joined in the search, but Glorfindel did not stop to wait for them as they rushed to ask for help from the others.

"Haldir!!"

Glorfindel could not understand why Haldir would leave.

/Everything was fine. I thought it was all going well. What did I do again, Haldir?/

He had sworn never to let Haldir go again. Yet now, he could not find his lover anywhere.

/Where did you go? Did you leave me?/

Glorfindel's heart froze at the possibility.

/Please, no. Haldir, I would do anything. Please come back./

For each call to Haldir's name and there was no answer, Glorfindel's fear grew until it threatened to overwhelm him.

/Not again. Please, not again./

"Haldir!!!"

TBC

I AM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY!

A/n: probably two or three more chapters. I think. Depends. No definite ending yet. But an ending has been written. Not sure it will be "the one" anyway.

Thanks to all those who still believe that I had not completely abandoned the story even though I did not update for three months. Thanks for all your best wishes on my exam…it did not go well by the way ( a factor to the dying muse). Thanks for staying with.


	29. chapter 29

Disclaimer: JRR's characters. Except for the evil elf.

A/N: Don't know what to say about this one.

To all those who wished me well, thank you very much. Cobweb, thanks for the Theban image.(yes, I have seen it, but thanks very much. It was a nice gesture.) 

Sorry for worrying you, but thank you all for your concern.

I am much better now. Thanks again.

Arigato.

Gracias.

Merci.

And now, the story….

Elrond twined their hands together as he thrust into Erestor, his movements fast and hard as they were nearing their release. 

"Erestor."

"Elrond."

The two elves moaned in unison.

Just as they have almost reached the pinnacle of oblivion, the door burst open and Orophin came rushing in.

"Lord Elrond! Lord Erestor! Haldir is mis—Oh gods!" And the Lorien elf was once again out the door.

The two lovers were frozen in shock when the door burst open. Elrond felt his frustration at being disturbed and was about to get angry, when Orophin's muffled words sailed through.

"I…pardon me, my lords. But Haldir is missing, and I…I was going to ask if you…could…uh…never mind." Orophin left, still blushing, but his embarrassment quickly diminished and his worry for Haldir took over. He would think about what just happened later. Right now, he needed to find his brother.

For the two ancient elves, Orophin's words washed over them like cold water. They scrambled to put their clothes on. 

/Glorfindel/

Erestor did not know how his friend was taking this. He knew that the eldar would be worried out of his mind by now. They needed to help find Haldir.

When they were clothed, they looked at each other. A small smile escaped their lips, but worry took over and they set out to look for the missing March Warden.

Celeborn and Ecthelion heard the others looking for Haldir, calling out the elf's name. When they came upon Rumil, they asked what was happening.

Upon learning that his "son" was missing, as Celeborn has always considered the brothers his own children, he also joined the search. Ecthelion, without any hesitation, offered his help as well. Soon, all the remaining inhabitants of Lothlorien were calling out for Haldir.

Haldir gazed into the distant horizon, oblivious to the panic happening within the Golden Woods. Earlier, when he had woken up in Glorfindel's arms, he had been overwhelmed with so many emotions that he needed to get away to think. So many things had happened in such a short time. And he feared that it may yet be another dream. The first time he had thought that Glorfindel had come for him in the Golden Woods, it nearly killed him to realize that it had not been real. Everything had been so perfect then as well. Only the next morning, when he woke up, he was alone, and the eldar was not there. And it was heart-wrenching when he realized that Glorfindel had never been there.

It seemed that everything was alright again. But Haldir could not remove his fear that it may once again disappear. He did not want to taste happiness of being with Glorfindel, only to wake up from the sweet dream once again. He would rather dream it forever, have it for real, or not have it at all, completely. It was too much.

And so he left. He needed some time to think, away from Glorfindel and all the emotions that raged inside of him whenever he was near the eldar.

So he had gone to the first place he could think of. Lover's cove.

He had spent much of his time here, especially when he had just gotten back to Lothlorien after the war. A few years ago, his safe haven was a small clearing near the borders. But lately, Lover's cove seemed to pull him, inviting him to stay. This was where he and Glorfindel first made love. And it was also here that he had realized his life would never be the same again. Since then, whenever he needed to be by himself, he came here. Somehow, his heart always seemed more at peace whenever he was here.

And now more than ever, he needed to be alone, to reflect on the events of his life.

/I need to make sure this is not another dream./

/Please, Valar, I beg of you. This cannot be a dream again./

There was a limit to what he could bear. He could not have Glorfindel only to lose him again. It had happened so many times in the past.

And there was the new moon. Only one more week and it would be here. His deadline.

/Will I still die? I still do not know what you want of me, Valar. I don't know why I did not die. Now that I have Glorfindel once again, will this be the time that you finally let me die?/

/Please, don't. I could not bear to hurt Glorfindel like that. Please./

As he continued to ponder the events that had happened, it never occurred to him how Glorfindel would react to waking up alone in their bed.

Glorfindel was on the verge of complete panic. With everything that had happened to him and Haldir, he was afraid that he might have pushed his lover to the edge. Maybe he moved too fast, too soon.

/Maybe I should have stopped him when he made love to me. He was not thinking too clearly. He was afraid./

/Have I scared him away? I should have had more self control!/

He began to think of the possible meaning of the fact that Haldir had left him in their bed, alone, after they had made love for the first time in the longest time that they had been…apart, if not physically, then emotionally. It had been a trying time, one that had almost pushed the two of them over the edge. And just when everything seemed to be improving, the thing that Glorfindel feared the most happened – Haldir leaving again, and Glorfindel had no idea where he could be.

Would he spend another month or two looking for the March Warden?

Glorfindel remembered the day that he finally found his lover after the great battle against Sauron. He had not known what to expect. He had thought that he would have a hard time getting Haldir to talk to him again. Never in his life had he expected to find the March Warden in that condition, in so much pain, and almost out of his mind. And Glorfindel knew he had almost been too late.

'I am dying..'

Haldir's words came to haunt him, and he knew that if history were to repeat itself, Glorfindel may never get his lover back.

/No! I will find him!/

Glorfindel shook the negative thoughts away. He was not going to give up. Not now. He was too close.

/I should have realized my love for you a long time ago, Haldir. This would not be happening now./

But it was too late for that. And regretting the past would not help him now. He needed to concentrate on finding Haldir.

"Haldir, where are you?" the eldar called out.

They had extended the search all over Lothlorien. He had to find the March Warden.

/I'll apologize to him; beg his forgiveness. I need to let him know that I am not pressuring him into doing anything./

"Haldir!!" 

Haldir watched the skies and realized that he had been sitting there for hours. It was time to get back. He got up from the ground and dusted himself off.

"Haldir."

The March Warden froze at the sound of his name. Slowly he turned around, only to meet a sword pointed at his chest. His gaze hardened as he looked upon his attacker.

"Rhyden."

"We meet again."

Haldir suppressed the urge to throttle the other elf. He had no weapon with him, since he had not thought of bringing one. He had been too preoccupied with his emotions to think that he would encounter trouble.

"Don't you ever give up?"

Rhyden laughed.

"Oh no, Haldir. It is not in my nature. I am a champion. I have gotten everything I ever wanted, achieved all that I aimed for."

Haldir clenched his fists, his anger radiating off of him, and even Rhyden felt it. "Except for me."

Rhyden's eyes turned cold at Haldir's words.

"Ah, but I will have you, Haldir. One way or another. I have never failed in my life. I will not fail. I am perfect." Rhyden said matter-of-factly.

Haldir laughed at the other elf's audacity.

"You think too highly of yourself! Achieving all and having all is not what defines perfection."

"Of course it is! It has always been that way. Only the filthy humans who have infested our world changed the views of the elves. They made us weak!"

Haldir frowned.

"That is not true. The humans are our allies, friends. They have flaws, but I doubt they are powerful enough to influence elves. We are thousands of years older than they. You are just arrogant and full of yourself. You cannot admit to the fact that not everyone wants you."

Rhyden pressed the blade closer until it was against Haldir's neck.

"No one denies me what I want!"

Haldir smiled. He looked haughty in his confidence even with danger being so close.

"I deny you."

His words made Rhyden snap and the other elf attacked, pushing Haldir to the ground yet keeping the blade to the March Warden's neck. He climbed on top of the Lorien elf.

"We shall see about that."

With his free hand, he grabbed the neck of Haldir's tunic and tore the shirt off the March Warden, exposing the other elf's chest.

"Still thinking I won't have my way?" Rhyden smiled menacingly. His hand moved to Haldir's breeches. 

The moment Rhyden moved his eyes to Haldir's crotch, the March Warden made his move. He grabbed the blade, not caring that he got wounded in the process, and with his other hand punched Rhyden. The other elf never thought that Haldir would even think of fighting back in his condition that the attack took him by surprise. The punch threw him off the March Warden. 

Before Rhyden could recover, Haldir was upon him. He kicked the blade out of the other elf's hand. The blade was thrown a few feet away.

Haldir did not pay attention to the pain from his bleeding hands. He attacked.

Glorfindel thought of all the places that Haldir could be, and prayed that he would still find his lover, and that everything was not too late. He had not meant to scare Haldir away. And now that his lover was gone, he was afraid that was exactly what happened. He had tried so hard to make sure that Haldir did not run away again.

/I am sorry. I did not mean to frighten you./

His greatest fear now was the thought that he might not find Haldir, and they would not have a chance to talk. He might not have a chance to save what he had achieved in the past two weeks.

He berated himself with letting his emotions get the better of him.

/I should have stopped him when he wanted to make love. I knew he was afraid, not yet ready. It was too much too soon./

And now, he regretted ever giving in to Haldir. He knew that the younger elf had been acting on pure emotions. He should have been the one who had the sense to see that Haldir was not yet ready.

But it was too late for regrets now. He needed to find Haldir.

/Haldir…/

"Haldir!!!

Everyone searched for the missing March Warden. The search area was extended to all of Lothlorien. They had hopes that Haldir would not leave the Golden Woods. But there was a chance that he did. They still had to check first.

The Golden Woods was a large area. Haldir could be anywhere.

"Did you check his safe haven?" Rumil asked his brother.

When they were younger, there was a small clearing close to the borders that Haldir frequented whenever he needed to be alone. Orophin remembered it, since it was where he and Rumil always found Haldir whenever their brother went missing. There were several instances that Haldir would disappear, especially during the times since their brother got involved with Glorfindel. They knew that the relationship was…unique. Yet Haldir was a grown elf and they did not question his decisions. Haldir had not gone there for awhile, yet…

"Let's go, then."

Orophin realized it should have been the first place they checked. But it was far and Haldir may not have gone there. However, at the moment, it was their best bet. Along with the Peredhel twins, they headed out to the borders.

The others continued the search in the nearer areas, since Haldir may not have gone too far. But to no avail.

Glorfindel did not realize that he had broken away from the group in his desperation to find Haldir. Soon he was alone, but he did not stop.

"Haldir!"

It was then that a thought occurred to him.

Lover's cove.

Would he…?

Glorfindel broke into a run towards the place where he and Haldir first made love.

/I should have checked there first. Why didn't I remember?/

He prayed that he was right.

/The cove…it's a cliff. Haldir…he won't…No!!!/

The thought urged him faster. Earlier, Haldir had been contemplating death. Glorfindel's eyes watered with desperation.

/He wouldn't. He promised…/

But the reassurance did nothing to his panic.

"HALDIR!!!"

Hearing his name, Haldir turned towards the voice and in turn lost his attention on Rhyden. The other elf got free from his grip and punched him. Haldir reeled from the blow and fell to the ground.

Rhyden kicked him in the stomach.

"You are a challenge." The other elf wiped the blood from his lip, then kicked Haldir again. The pain kept the March Warden on the ground.

"I like the ones who fight." Rhyden sneered, then delivered another kick to Haldir's midsection.

"I won't hit you in the face. You are too pretty. But you need to be taught a lesson!"

As Haldir writhed on the ground, Rhyden caught sight of the fallen sword and went to retrieve it.

"This time, you do another stunt like that again, I will kill you." The elf from Rivendell threatened. He once again held the knife against Haldir's throat. The March Warden had grown weak and doubted he could repeat his earlier actions.

Rhyden grabbed some vines on the plants, keeping his eyes on Haldir, then used them to bind Haldir's hands to a tree.

"Beautiful." Rhyden whispered when he looked at his handiwork.

"We are going to have lots of fun, Haldir."

Glorfindel broke into the clearing. He was surprised to find a dark-haired elf in the cove, since he knew of no others who stayed behind. Glorfindel did not recognize the other elf since the eldar was facing the other's back. 

Nearby bushes also hid another view from the eldar.

Glorfindel's heart fell, seeing Haldir was nowhere in sight. But then the dark-haired elf began talking, and a coldness wrapped around Glorfindel's heart upon hearing the other elf speak. It was a voice he knew so well.

"No one is here to help you. It's a good thing Lothlorien is such a big place. Even your lover won't find you." 

"You will not succeed, Rhyden!" Haldir spat out.

Rhyden laughed. "And who is here to stop me?"

"I am."

The words made the two elves look to the entrance of the cove.

Seeing Glorfindel, Haldir's heart flooded with relief. But it was replaced with a tinge of fear as he saw the look on Glorfindel's eyes.

They were cold. Deadly. And aimed at Rhyden.

Haldir had never seen Glorfindel this angry before.

Glorfindel could barely contain the rage that he felt when he saw Haldir tied to the tree. The only thing that kept him from attacking immediately was the thought that if he did, he might place Haldir in danger. Rhyden was holding a sword and he was near Haldir. Glorfindel was not sure if he would be quick enough.

The eldar had his sword drawn and began to walk closer to the two elves. He kept his eyes off his lover after having glanced at the younger elf's condition. Glorfindel was not sure he could keep his emotions intact if he dared look at Haldir again. He knew his lover was bleeding.

The moment the eldar took a step towards them, Rhyden recovered his surprise and placed his sword against Haldir's throat.

"I don't think so." Rhyden was not going to give in so easily. "Drop your sword, Glorfindel, or I hurt him." Rhyden knew he had the upper hand. As long as Haldir was his captive, Glorfindel would not touch him.

The eldar clenched his fist around his sword. Rhyden pressed the blade closer to Haldir. "Drop it."

"Glorfindel, just kill him! I would rather die!" Haldir exclaimed.

/I would rather die than see you hurt. I would rather die than let him win!/

Haldir hoped that Glorfindel would heed him.

/Please./

Glorfindel looked at Haldir and saw the plea in his lover's eyes. He looked away, unsure of what to do.

"Throw away your sword!" Rhyden screamed at him.

Glorfindel knew that he would do anything to keep Haldir from getting hurt again. The younger elf had gone through too much. Silently apologizing to his lover, he did what he had to do.

He dropped his sword. 

"Glorfindel, no!" Haldir exclaimed when he saw his lover let go of the weapon. Rhyden could not win! Not like this!

Not when he could hurt Glorfindel as well.

"That's a good seneschal. Why don't you grab some vines over there, then come here." Rhyden sneered. He felt triumphant, knowing that he had finally had one over Glorfindel, and he could get to have Haldir. This could turn out better that he imagined.

Glorfindel did what e was told, but he made sure that he kept his eyes on the dark-haired elf at all times. He was waiting for the perfect opportunity.

/I need to get that sword away from Haldir./ Glorfindel did not want to risk Haldir getting hurt again.

For now, while the risk was too great, he had to do what Rhyden wanted.

"Damn it, Glorfindel! Pick up that sword! Don't do this!" Haldir was desperate. He did not want to have Glorfindel hurt in any way.

Rhyden laughed at the helplessness in the March Warden's voice.

"Give it up, Haldir. He would never do anything to bring harm to you. He knows that if he does not obey me, you will get hurt. And he can't let that happen." Rhyden looked at Glorfindel, his eyes teasing, challenging the seneschal to do anything. "You see, I think he loves you. So much it would possibly kill him." Rhyden laughed at his own joke.

"Don't you dare hurt him!" Haldir screamed at the elf who had him captive. He was afraid of what Rhyden's words meant. "Damn it, Glorfindel! Get your sword and kill him!! Don't do this! Please! Not for me!"

/Not like this. Please. Not like this!/

"Glorfindel…please." Haldir was begging his lover to listen to him.

But Glorfindel turned a deaf ear, he hardened his heart against the pleading tone in Haldir's voice.

/I am sorry, Haldir. I cannot lose you. Not like this. Not now./

Rhyden amused himself watching the two lovers who were at his mercy. "That is touching. So touching. You are mine now, Haldir. And Glorfindel…could get to watch."

Glorfindel felt that rage within him nearly boil over and his heart hardened.

/I will die first before you touch a hair on him./ Glorfindel vowed. Gathering the vines, he moved closer to where Rhyden stood.

"That's good, seneschal. Closer."

Glorfindel walked over to where Rhyden stood, near Haldir.

"Hmmm, you are not half bad, Seneschal. Maybe I could…practice on you first." Rhyden moved to touch the seneschal's face. Glorfindel did not flinch away.

"Leave him alone, you bastard!" Haldir could not believe Glorfindel was just standing there.

/He is doing this for me. He doesn't want me hurt. Oh, Valar, please, Glorfindel…don't do this!/

Haldir strained against his bonds, but they were tied well.

Rhyden laughed at Haldir's futile attempts to get free.

"Wait your turn, Haldir."

Rhyden turned his attention back to the seneschal. No emotions could be seen from the eldar's face. His eyes were cold. Almost…evil. 

Rhyden almost balked at the look in the eldar's eyes.

Glorfindel smiled slowly. "Well?" He whispered softly, but unlike with his lover, the eldar's voice was hard…angry. Deadly.

Rhyden involuntary took a step back, and for a moment, he faltered. It was what Glorfindel was waiting for. He lunged at the other elf, tackling him to the ground. Rhyden recovered, but it was too late. Glorfindel was able to remove the sword from his hands.

The two elves wrestled on the ground, trading blows. 

But Glorfindel had more training, and more experience. He also knew what Rhyden could do, since he had trained the younger elf.

"Glorfindel."

The eldar heard his lover call to him. He realized that they had strayed away from where Haldir was tied. The March Warden could no longer see them. It explained the anxiety in the lorien elf's voice.

"Glorfindel!" Haldir struggled, trying to get free. His hands bled more, and his wrists bruised from his efforts to get away.

Rhyden took a swing, but the eldar was able to block t. Rhyden went down as another blow from the eldar hit his face. The battle between the two elves lasted for several minutes. Both elves not wanting to give in.

Glorfindel could nothold back his anger anymore. So many things had happened to him and Haldir, and he now poured it out on the Rivendell elf. Rhyden's lips were bruised and bleeding. The eldar's knuckles had blood on them. But he still would not let up. Not while Rhyden could still stand and fight back.

Glorfindel barely felt the blows that managed to hit him. He was too intent on hurting the other elf. Only Haldir's voice brought him back from the hazy rage that overcame him.

"Glorfindel, damn it! Answer me!"

Glorfindel finally stopped his onslaught on Rhyden, who lay bleeding on the ground, still conscious, but did not have the strength to fight anymore.

Glorfindel looked around dazedly for a while.

"Haldir."

He remembered that his lover was tied up. He left Rhyden where he was, and went back to his lover.

"Glorfindel." Relief flooded through Haldir as he saw his lover. For a moment, he had been afraid that Rhyden would have hurt the eldar.

"Haldir." Glorfindel immediately freed the younger elf. Then he gathered his lover close, hugging him tightly.

Haldir felt the tremors that shook Glorfindel's frame. He knew that the eldar had been afraid. He did not say a word, only hugged his lover back, as tightly as his strained arms would allow.

They spent a few moments, holding each other, unwilling to let go.

/I almost hurt him again./ Glorfindel would never have forgiven himself if something had happened to Haldir. /I drove him away and he almost…/ He could not fathom the thought. Instead, he buried his face in Haldir's neck. He felt the tears on his eyes. Fear, relief, regret. Every emotion that had been building up inside him for the past days surfaced, and they came on strong.

Haldir continued to hold Glorfindel. His emotions raged as well. 

Neither one saw the elf coming at them, Glorfindel's sword in his hand.

A glint of metal caught Haldir's eye. He looked up, to see the raised sword in front of him, ready to strike his lover. Before he could react, the sword was coming down.

Rumil and Orophin headed back to Lothlorien, along with the twins. Haldir had not been in his safe haven, as they had thought him to be. Elladan had suggested he might be at the waterfront, to where they were now rushing to. Halfway there, they met Ecthelion.

"Have you seen him?" Rumil asked, his voice hopeful. Ecthelion shook his head sadly.

"We are going to check the waterfront. He goes there often." Orophin explained.

"I was just there. I even double checked, but…" Ecthelion informed them.

"Where could he be?" Elrohir asked the question that was in everyone's mind.

"How about Lover's cove?" Orophin asked.

"Or the old cabin? He could be there." Rumil added.

Ecthelion suggested they go separate ways. "I'll check the cove. I know where it is. The cabin, I am not sure."

Orophin nodded. "Alright. Let's go."

And they were off again.

Ecthelion hurried to Lover's Cove. Still, he could not help but wonder what had happened between Glorfindel and Haldir to drive the younger elf away. He wondered if it was something he had done. He had the impression Haldir was not exactly fond of him.

He remembered the look on Haldir's face the first time he had seen him in Lothlorien. He remembered how the March Warden had held on to Glorfindel, remembered his plea. But what Ecthelion could not forget was the pain in the younger elf's eyes as he begged him to leave.

Ecthelion had lived a long life. He knew that in his lifetime, he had never felt the pain that he had seen in Haldir's eyes that day. He realized then how much the March Warden loved Glorfindel, and how much the Lorien elf suffered through. It was worse than death. Ecthelion knew then that Haldir could not be without Glorfindel.

And Glorfindel could not be without the March Warden. Ecthelion had seen love in Glorfindel's eyes that he had never seen, even when they were together. It did not mean that Glorfindel did not love him. Ecthleion knew that the eldar did. But Glorfindel never loved him like that. They had been important to each other, and they would have died for each other. But Glorfindel…Haldir was his world. He would not only die for the March Warden, he would die with him as well. And that, Ecthelion knew, told him that he would not even think of trying to get Glorfindel back.

Glorfindel would be happier with Haldir.

That much he knew.

The two were perfect for each other. Their love for the other is incomparable. Almost a legend.

But it was real.

Ecthelion sighed and continued towards lover's cove. 

He would not look. But he hoped that someday, he would be lucky enough to find a love like that as well. He had told Celeborn that he was not planning on loving anyone like he had Glorfindel. But after seeing Haldir and the eldar together, he could not help but want to love someone the way those two loved each other, and be loved in return with equal ferocity as well.

Maybe he would find it. He had forever,

Ecthelion smiled to himself.

He was near the cove. A few more feet.

As Ecthelion broke out of the clearing, he was not expecting to see Glorfindel and Haldir sitting on the ground, holding each other, unseeing the elf standing by them, sword raised. Haldir and Glorfindel did not seem to notice the danger they were in.

Ecthelion did not hesitate. He knew he was too far to stop the elf, and knew as well that a warning would be too late. In a flash, he had his bow drawn, an arrow knocked, and aimed at the dark-haired elf holding the sword. Then the sword began to descend downward.

Ecthelion released the arrow. Rhyden fell to the ground, an arrow stuck between his shoulder blades. 

But it was too late.

"NO!!!!" Haldir's scream of agony reached every corner of Lothlorien. He held Glorfindel, bleeding in his arms from the blow of the sword.

Glorfindel looked surprised at first. Then his eyes mellowed. He smiled. Reaching a hand to touch Haldir's face, he felt his strength leave him. He heard Haldir crying, begging him to hold on. Hold on. The world turned dark, and then there was nothing.

TBC

A/N: Guess this answers what happened to Rhyden…Till next time.

Please review.

THANKS TO ALL YOU BEST WISHES AND REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!


	30. chapter 30

Disclaimer: Does anyone really read this? Tolkien's characters. My story.

SLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A/N: It is very difficult to write a sad story during the happy season. Hehe.

Orophin watched as Haldir gently caressed Glorfindel's face. The eldar lay on the bed, silent and unmoving, at death's door. 

Earlier that afternoon, when he and Rumil had realized that Haldir was not in his safe haven, the one that they knew of, they had quickly backtracked. Just as they were within Lothlorien again, they had heard their brother's heartwrenching scream. They had known it was from the direction of lover's cove, and they had rushed right over.

Celeborn, Erestor and Elrond were there before Rumil, the twins and Orophin arrived. They were not prepared for what they were met with.

Haldir held Glorfindel in his arms, the eldar bleeding and unconscious. Ecthelion stood over them in shock, before he knelt down to tell Haldir that they needed to get Glorfindel to be healed.

"Haldir, come on, we have to…we have to…" As Ecthelion glanced up helplessly, he spotted the newly arrived elves. After recovering from their surprise, the others moved to help Glorfindel.

"Don't touch him!" Haldir held on to Glorfindel possessively. More softly, they barely heard Haldir's next words. "I'll take him."

The March Warden then stood up, carrying his lover with him. Elladan and Elrohir volunteered to stay behind to take care of Rhyden, who though hurt, was still alive as well.

Haldir held Glorfindel's hand the entire time Elrond cleaned and closed up the wound, applying a medicinal lotion, as well as when the elf lord bandaged it. When everyone left, Haldir stayed behind. Ecthelion stayed for awhile. But he realized that Haldir needed to be alone for now, with Glorfindel.

When everyone had left, Haldir let the tears fall freely. He rested his head on the soft bed covers where his lover lay.

"I am so sorry, Glorfindel. I did not mean for you to get hurt." Haldir's voice broke as pain made his throat close up. "I never wanted you to get hurt."

And now he was the reason why Glorfindel lay on the bed, almost lifeless. 

/Oh Glorfindel. Is this the result of me loving you?/

"I did not want you hurt, Glorfindel! Why didn't you listen to me?"

/Stop it! It's not his fault! It's…it's…Valar, it's my fault./

Suddenly Haldir felt that he should not be there, that he was not worthy.

/I keep hurting you! I don't mean to, but I do./

Thoughts, those that made Haldir feel worse, swirled in his head.

/This is a sign. It means we cannot be together. We only end up hurting each other!/

/Rhyden would not have hurt you if not for me. The only reason he hurt you was because of me!/

Haldir knew he should leave, now. He should not be here. He might hurt Glorfindel more, and he could not bear to do that.

A little irrational from all the pain and shock, he moved to stand, one bandaged hand, the other gripping Glorfindel's hand. As he moved to let go of his lover's hand, Glorfindel's fingers tightened around his.

The movement was small, and Glorfindel's grip was weak. But Haldir felt it, and it was enough to stop him from leaving.

He stared at their joined hands.

A single tear fell on them.

Haldir fell back on his seat.

"..haldir…" Glorfindel called out softly, as if sensing the turmoil within the March Warden, and reassuring him that Glorfindel wanted him there, right next to the eldar, together, for always.

Haldir swallowed the lump in his throat and moved closer.

"I am here, Glorfindel." He assured his lover. "I am here."

Haldir kissed the eldar's fingers, the ones he had been holding.

"…don't…leave…me…please…"

Haldir reached and buried his face on Glorfindel's neck, sobbing.

"No, no I won't! I…won't. I pr..promise." Haldir swore, past the constriction in his throat.

/I almost hurt him again. If he had woken up, and I had left, I would have hurt him again!/

Haldir had not thought how Glorfindel would have felt if he had woken up and Haldir was not there.

/I swear I will never do anything to hurt you Glorfindel. Ever again./

He continued to hold on to his lover, until finally, exhaustion took over and Haldir fell into reverie, right there, beside Glorfindel.

"Will Glorfindel be alright?" Erestor asked his lover, as he and the rest of them save for the twins, sat around the kitchens, preparing more healing brew for Glorfindel, as well as the healing balm for the wounds.

Elrond nodded. "He is out of danger. He only needs to recover his strength. The wound was not fatal." The Rivendell elf lord explained.

Erestor felt the relief at knowing his friend was out of danger. 

"Ecthelion, are you alright?" He asked the other elf, whose distress clearly showed in his face.

Ecthelion had his head bowed, and he sat in the corner of the room.

He looked up at Erestor's inquiry.

"I…I am fine. Thank you." He replied.

"Glorfindel will be fine." Celeborn assured him. The Lorien elf sat by the table, grinding some herbs.

Just then, Elrohir and Elladan bound in.

Their ada looked up.

"How is the other patient?" Elrond inquired.

"Alive, unfortunately." Elrohir answered.

"Elrohir, we do not kill our own kin, no matter how much they deserve it." Ecthelion said quietly.

The younger elf looked down. "I know. It's just…"

"I know." Ecthelion added even before Elrohir finished.

"Shouldn't somebody stay to guard him?" Rumil asked.

"Don't worry. We gave him some sleeping herbs. He won't wake for a few hours." Elladan assured Rumil. They knew that they could not let Rhyden escape. The elf needed to pay for his actions. The fact that he tried to kill a fellow elf, not to mention a seneschal, was a crime beyond atonement. Rhyden would not get away that easily.

"Still, I will watch him." Ecthelion said and stood up.

No one stopped him. They knew he was without doubt in a rage at what had happened to his former lover. But they also knew that Ecthelion would not kill a helpless elf in cold blood. He had only killed when he had been at war, during the kinslayings. But even then, he was fairly matched with his opponents.

"Ecthelion," Elrond called out. The other elf turned to look at the elf lord. "…are you sure you are alright?" Elrond was concerned. Sometimes,a wound was not physical. And if that was the case, it was worse.

Ecthelion's lips formed a small smile of reassurance. He nodded, then slipped off to guard the elf he had nearly killed for hurting the one elf he had ever loved.

Glorfindel opened his eyes slowly. He felt a warm presence by his bedside, and he turned to see Haldir asleep, his lover's head resting on the bed near him, while Haldir sat on a chair pulled very close to the bed. Glorfindel smiled when he felt, before he saw, the hand that held his.

"You are awake."

Glorfindel was slightly startled when a voice came from a dark corner of the room. 

"Sorry." Erestor murmured, sensing that he had surprised Glorfindel. "I did not want to intrude, so I sat in the corner." Erestor explained.

Glorfindel smiled at his friend.

"It's fine. I was just a little surprised. I thought we were alone." He whispered, as he was still a little weak.

Erestor raised a brow. "And were you planning to do anything naughty?" He teased.

Glorfindel chuckled, his laughter making him wince as the move brought jarring pain.

Erestor rushed close. "I am sorry." He exclaimed.

Glorfindel, after recovering from the pain, smiled reassuringly.

"I am fine."

Then he saw that Haldir had not moved. He turned to look at Erestor, who now stood beside them.

"He is exhausted. He had not eaten since yesterday. He would not leave you." Erestor explained. Normally, the slightest noise would have woken up the March Warden. But Haldir had not yet even fully recovered from his ailment when the recent events occurred, and his tired and battered body was still recuperating.

Glorfindel sighed.

"could you…move him to the bed? Next to me?" The seneschal requested his friend.

Erestor nodded. "Of course."

Erestor carefully lifted Haldir as Glorfindel moved ever so slowly to provide space for his lover. He winced every now and then as his efforts brought pressure to his wound.

The advisor placed the tired March Warden next to Glorfindel. As soon as Haldir was placed on the bed, he turned, seeking out Glorfindel. As his arms closed around the seneschal, he sighed and snuggled closer, before settling down and going back to sleep.

Erestor smiled at the look of pleasure in Glorfindel's eyes.

"He knows that it's you." He said simply.

Glorfindel nodded in agreement, still slightly in awe.

/He knows it's me. He reached for me!/ The thought warmed Glorfindel, even as he felt honored that Haldir would trust him that much.

Erestor watched Glorfindel as the seneschal continued to stare at Haldir, gently brushing off the stray hair off of Haldir's face.

"Rest. Both of you. If you need anything, just call us." He said, then turned to leave. The rest of the little family had taken it upon themselves to take turns watching Glorfindel and Haldir. It was Elldadn's turn.

Erestor entered the talan he shared with Elrond. He saw his lover on the bed, eyes closed and breathing evenly. Erestor smiled. It had been a tiring day for everyone. Glorfindel was out of danger. They could finally rest.

He removed his outer robe, and his boots, then joined Elrond in bed. He snuggled up to his lover, arranging them so he now held Elrond against him, close. Erestor sighed and waited for sleep to claim him.

Elrond's arms closed around him, pulling him even closer. Erestor smiled once again.

"You done?" Elrond asked sleepily. Erestor knew he was asking about staying with Glorfindel.

"Yes." He replied. "Elladan is with them now."

"Good." The elf lord commented.

Then Elrond, still feigning sleepiness, gently reached down and unlaced his lover's breeches. Before Erestor knew what was happening, a warm hand closed around his elfhood, which jumped at the attention it was getting.

"…elrond.." It was a purr.

Elrond shifted until he was almost on top of Erestor.

"I believe, we have a long overdue unfinished business."

Erestor laughed, remembering what they had been doing before they went in search of Haldir.

"It is not funny." Elrond growled. He had never felt so frustrated in his life. Amidst the chaos when they found Haldir, with Glorfindel wounded and in need of a healer, Elrond had grown hard every time his lover brushed him. Erestor was not even trying to seduce him at the time. 

Erestor stopped laughing, but mirth still danced in his eyes. He reached for his lover's burgeoning arousal. It was already dripping wet.

As soon as he touched Elrond's elfhood, the elf lord growled then climbed on top of him, sealing their lips in a kiss.

Erestor stopped thinking.

Ecthelion shifted from his position. He had been sitting there for hours, guarding Rhyden. He had not accepted offers to be replaced, instead instructing them to either go watch Glorfindel instead, or rest. For some reason, he did not want to be relieved of the duty of watching Rhyden. He could not rest if the other elf was out of his sight. He knew it was irrational, knowing that the others were capable soldiers, but he feared that if he left, Rhyden would somehow escape.

If he was willing to admit it, Rhyden was only an excuse. A more pressing fear lurked in the depths of his heart, but he did not wish to think about it.

Because he knew what it was. Ecthelion had felt it before. And at the time, his fears became reality.

/No!/

He would not think about such things.

He concentrated his efforts on watching the sleeping elf, intent on making sure that Rhyden did not escape.

Not that the elf was going anywhere. Rhyden had not even awakened. The arrow had missed his heart by only a fraction of an inch.

But Ecthelion was not taking any chances.

"Ecthelion."

The Gondolin warrior looked up to see Celeborn in the doorway, holding a tray full of food. "I brought you something to eat."

Celeborn placed the tray next to the table where Ecthelion sat. Then he pulled up another chair.

"Thank you. You did not have to." Ecthelion said. He picked up a piece of fruit. He did not realized he was hungry until he saw the food.

"Well, somebody had to." Celeborn commented, smiling at the other elf. He reached for some fruit as well.

"How is Glorfindel?" Ecthelion asked quietly, like he was afraid of the answer, although he already knew that the eldar was out of danger.

"He is doing well. He woke up this morning, according to Erestor, though only for a brief moment." Celeborn answered, then "Why don't you go see him. I can stay and watch Rhyden." He suggested.

Ecthelion looked at him. He looked like he wanted to say yes, but couldn't. "Uh…no. I…maybe later. I'll visit him later. Like you said, he is fine." He knew it sounded…shallow. But Ecthelion could not explain.

Celeborn looked at him thoughtfully.

"What do you fear?"

Ecthelion looked at him in surprise. He considered denying it, but he knew the elf lord already saw through him. Hesitantly, he told the other elf what he was going through.

"Before…years ago…During the battle, I had…been afraid. I had never feared a battle in my life. But that one… I felt…that something was going to happen, but I did not know what. That was the first time I have ever…felt it. It was the day…the day Glorfindel and I…the day we…we both died. I mean…"

"I know what you mean. I understand." Celeborn said. "you feel it again?"

"Yes. No. I don't know. It's different, but…similar." Ecthelion was a little confused.

Celeborn smiled reassuringly. "Maybe you are just worried about him. He had been in danger. Maybe you are just responding to the events that had happened."

"Maybe." Ecthelion shrugged. He knew that Glorfindel was out of danger, but the fear, the fear gripped him and would not let go. The fear that came upon him when he had seen Rhyden lift the sword. The fear that nearly stopped his heart when the sword came down. The fear that came to him when he realized he could be too late. The fear that had made his hands shake, just before they released the arrow, so that he had missed Rhyden's heart….

"Maybe."

It was all he said, before he lapsed into silence. Celeborn watched him eat quietly, knowing, yet not knowing what was going through the other elf's head.

/Ah, Galadriel. If only you were here./

/You could read his mind./

Glorfindel woke up from his sleep, and found Haldir watching him, as his lover stroked his hair.

"Hello." The eldar said quietly. Haldir smiled, emotions making his hands shake, but he continued to caress his lover's hair.

"Hi." The March Warden replied.

Glorfindel reached up and placed a hand against Haldir's cheek. The younger elf closed his eyes and leaned in to the touch.

"Please don't leave me again." Glorfindel asked, in a voice thick with emotion.

Haldir hugged him, though not tightly since he knew that Glorfindel's wound still hurt. "Never." He vowed.

/Never again./

Glorfindel closed his arms around Haldir, keeping him close.

"I love you, Haldir."

The words made Haldir's control break, and he sobbed against Glorfindel.

"Oh gods, I love you!" He cried against the eldar.

They held each other. They had been through the worst times. Only the best could follow…right?

TBC…

A/N: Advisory: WILL BE ON VACATION UNTIL MAYBE THE FOURTH OF JANUARY. Thanks.

Please review.

THANK U 4 UR FEEDBACK. 


	31. chapter 31

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Disclaimer: Your are crazy if you don't know that these elves do not belong to me, cept the evil one.

A/n: Found an internet shop. Can only do this quickly coz we are leaving for the beach. Yeah, the beach. It's freezing cold, and we are headed to the beach.

WARNING:   explicit..er…sex, I think. Well, it counts as one. Hehe. AND **SLASH**!!!!!!!!!!!!

Erestor placed a small kiss on top of his sleeping lover's nose, smiling when his actions made Elrond frown. Erestor repeated the action. Elrond, grumbling, finally woke up.

"Good morning, melamin." Erestor greeted. Elrond groaned and buried his head against his lover's neck.

"Don't want to wake up yet." He said grudgingly.

Erestor laughed. "You need to check on Glorfindel."

"Not at this hour. They would not be awake yet. It's dawn! They should not be awake yet, and if they are, I am betting they would be doing something I would not want to disturb!" By this time, Elrond was fully awake, but still unwilling to get up.

"I was not saying that you go check on them now. I am suggesting that you wake up now, then go check on them later,"

"Why can't I just wake up later when I have to go check on them already?"

Erestor brought his lips close to his lover's ear. "Because, love, there are some things we need to do that I am betting no one would want to disturb us for, and need to do now before you have to go and check on Glorfindel and Haldir, and have to do it at this time so there would be enough time before you need to leave." The advisor smiled when Elrond looked at him, brows raised.

"I see." It was all the elf lord said.

"So, interested?"

Elrond pretended to think about it for a moment.

"I don't know. We had a pretty tiring bout last night. Don't you think we are a little old to be carrying on like this?"

Erestor laughed. "Too old? We have only just begun, Elrond. Don't you dare tire of me now."

Elrond brought Erestor close. Looking deep into the advisor's eyes, he said seriously, "I will never tire of you."

Erestor stopped laughing and stared at Elrond. "I only meant…"

"I know. But still, I will never tire of you."

Erestor chuckled. "Alright. Are you interested in doing the suggested activity?"

"Oh," Elrond said, bringing their hips in very close proximity to each other. "..Very."

Glorfindel reveled in the feeling of Haldir caressing his hair. They had held each other for a while, after their small talk earlier. Haldir then began to caress his hair again. It was a habit that the March Warden always indulged in. There was a time, earlier in their relationship, when Haldir would only do it when he thought that the eldar had gone to sleep. Memories assailed the eldar as he thought of the past, and how Haldir used to hide his feelings from the eldar.

It was a little over a year since Haldir and Glorfindel had gotten together that night in Lover's Cove. Glorfindel was once again visiting from Rivendell. Some months earlier, Haldir had gone to visit his lover in Imladris. For now, the eldar was accompanying Lord Elrond and his sons to visit the Lady of the Golden Woods.

Haldir and a team of Galadhrim awaited them at the borders of the forests. Haldir could not stop the flutter of his heart at the sight of the party of elves from Rivendell in the distant horizon. 

Schooling his features, he determinedly brought about his best March Warden stare and acknowledged the presence of the elves when they finally arrived.

"Welcome to Lothlorien. The Lady awaits your presence." He greeted formally. It took a great deal of control for Haldir's gaze not to linger on Rivendell's seneschal. When it did pass by the eldar, however, Haldir was saddened to notice that Glorfindel did not even seem to acknowledge him. He knew that they were supposed to keep their relationship a secret. It had even been his idea. But it still hurt that Glorfindel acted like they did not know each other. The Peredhel twins at least smiled at him. Even Elrond gave a slight nod of acknowledgement. Resolutely, he once again reminded himself that to Glorfindel, he is nobody.

/Just someone he has an affair with…not even worth remembering./

This realization strengthened the March Warden's resolve never to reveal his feelings to Glorfindel.

/He'll probably laugh. Or worse, treat it like it meant nothing./

At least this way, the eldar did not know, and therefore could not react.

Haldir forced the pain to the back of his mind. It was not an easy task, but he managed, enough to lead the elves to where the lady awaits. As soon as they were settled, Haldir slipped off.

Haldir sighed, leaning against the tree trunk. He could no more deny that seeing Glorfindel excited him than he could stop loving the eldar.

/Glorfindel, I missed you./

/I miss you everyday. But it grows worse the longer we are apart./

/Do you even miss me?/

Haldir laughed at the thought, recalling how Glorfindel reacted to seeing him.

/Of course not. What a ridiculous idea!/

Haldir shook his head. He really shouldn't have thoughts like that. They were foolish, and pathetic.

/I am a March Warden, a proud elf. Whatever happened to my pride?/

Maybe it was his punishment. Perhaps he had been too proud, and now the Valar was showing him the error of his ways. Perhaps they were showing him that in truth, he was nothing.

/nothing, to the elf who matters most to me./

Wasn't life just wonderful?

"Haldir, there you are."

The March Warden turned to look at his brother coming towards him. He knew his musings had to be cut short. They were probably needed to patrol the borders again.

"Yes?" He answered, quickly disguising the emotions that burned inside of him, pushing away the ache, knowing that now was not the time to ponder.

"The lady wants us to guard tonight's festivities once again. So get your best uniform. We have important guests arriving." Orophin informed his brother.

"Important guests?"

"King Thranduil is said to be arriving tonight for the festivities." Orophin said, then went on to prepare for their duty that night.

Haldir wondered what was going on. The King of Mirkwood rarely ever goes out of his realm. And to come all the way to Lothlorien? Haldir knew then that the festivity was more than it seemed to be. But he was not in the position to question what. They would be told when the lady deemed fit.

Haldir proceeded to his talan.

/A guard during the festivities./

It was how he and Glorfindel had met. Then the eldar had requested a tour, and things started from there.

/I wonder if this time, everything would end./

Haldir hoped not. Then he shrugged off such thoughts. There wasn't any reason to think that Glorfindel wanted their relationship to end.

/Unless you count him acting like he does not know me./

Haldir smiled ruefully.

/But then, he always acts like he does not know me./

Elves from both Lothlorien and Rivendell eagerly awaited the arrival of the King of Mirkwood. Very rarely do they see the king, for he never leaves his realm unless it was urgent. Mirkwood was under very difficult times, and for their king to leave, it must be urgent.

For the meantime, they enjoyed the feast. So many kinds of food were laid on the tables set in the wide clearing near the Lady's court. Elves of all ages were present, enjoying the music, food and wines offered. Elves were not very festive people, but when they threw a feast, they enjoyed it immensely.

Haldir looked amongst the crowd, looking for Glorfindel, though pretending not to be. Though they were to act as guards, they were also guests and were even encouraged to mingle.

Haldir started when an arm snaked around his waist and pulled him close to a very warm body.

"Looking for someone?" the question was said very close to his ear and Haldir shivered. Then he smiled.

"Yes, actually." He turned to face the other elf. "Glorfindel."

Legolas gave a goofy grin to his longtime friend, before pretending to pout. "Oh. And here I was thinking you missed me."

Haldir laughed, then hugged the other elf. It had been a while since he and Legolas had seen each other. They were the best of friends, and Haldir always went to Legolas whenever he needed a friend.

They broke apart, still wearing smiles.

"How are you? And when did you arrive?" Haldir asked the Mirkwood prince, before looking about.

"My father is with Lord Elrond and the Lord and the Lady." Legolas informed Haldir, seeing his friend trying to locate his elusive father.

Haldir frowned. "He doesn't like crowds much, does he?"

Legolas laughed. "Despises it, actually. We just arrived. He sneaked off to wherever they are supposed to meet, whilst bidding me to make myself busy."

"I see." Haldir looked at Legolas. "You look well."

Legolas nodded. "I am well. And you? How are you and Glorfindel?"

Haldir shrugged. Legolas knew of his and Glorfindel's rather peculiar relationship, and Haldir's feelings for the eldar. He found no reason to hide it from his friend. "We are fine, I guess."

"You haven't told him how you feel." Legolas kept insisting that he confess, but Haldir stubbornly refused.

"No. Would you?" He challenged.

Legolas sighed. "No. I wouldn't. But you should. Really. You cannot keep going like this, Haldir. It's killing you."

"I cannot think of a better way to die." Haldir knew that Legolas had a point. But he was not sure that telling Glorfindel was the best thing to do. They had been having this discussion for some time now, and both of them refused to listen to the other. 

Legolas shook his head. "You are…"

"Pathetic, I know. But wait till you fall in love, Legolas. Then you will probably understand better."

"I cannot understand how you can stand this." Legolas explained.

"It happens only once, Legolas. True love, for elves, last forever. So when you find it, you can only hope that it does not end, that it is returned, because you know that it only happens once. You know that if it ends, then you will die of a broken heart. You know that you only have two choices, to continue to hope and fight for that love, or to give up and die of a broken heart. Because those are your only alternatives, Legolas." Haldir explained.

Legolas was silent for a few moments. "I…do not see how keeping your feelings a secret is supposed to be helping you,"

Haldir smiled. "He is not ready to be loved, Legolas. I am not about to scare him off."

"Ah…"

Haldir laughed at Legolas's expression. "Ah."

He and Legolas continued to chat, this time, straying away from the sensitive topic of Glorfindel. They talked about Mirkwood, Lothlorien, Legolas' admirers, Haldir and the Galadhrim. They talked about things that only close friends talk about.

"I think I have to go." Legolas said suddenly.

"Why?"

Instead of answering, the Mirkwood prince nodded slightly, acknowledging the elf approaching them.

"Lord Glorfindel." Legolas said, then moved away to where Elladan and Elrohir stood.

Haldir tried to calm his heart, which suddenly began racing at the sight of his lover. Glorfindel's face, on the other hand, betrayed no emotion. Haldir did not know whether he was pleased, or disappointed.

"Haldir." Glorfindel greeted formally. Haldir tried to hide the disappointment he felt at the eldar's cold greeting. Glorfindel leaned closer. "I apologize for being late. We have a meeting. I will see you later on at your talan."

Haldir blushed slightly, not knowing why. "Um…alright. I will…wait for you."

Glorfindel leaned back. "Thank you."

Then the eldar was gone. Haldir could have imagined the whole exchange, and it would have passed just as swiftly.

"What did he say?" Legolas inquired, returning to Haldir's side after Glorfindel left.

"Uh…he has a meeting. And he will come by my talan later." Haldir answered. He looked at Legolas, intending to pick up where their conversation left off earlier, when he caught the mischief in his friend's eyes.

"What?"

Legolas's smile grew wider. "Want to welcome him? You know, dinner, candlelight, etcetera?"

Haldir shook his head. "No. I don't…"

"Come on, Haldir. We'll help." Orophin added. Haldir suddenly found himself surrounded by his brothers, Elrond's sons, and of course, Legolas.

He had a sinking feeling he had no choice in the matter. Really.

Haldir watched until the flame from the fifth candle he had lit go out. He sighed. It would seem Glorfindel had changed his mind and was not coming after all. They had prepared a romantic meal, to be followed by…etcetera, as Legolas called it. But the best-laid plans always went wrong.

/I guess we did not count on him actually NOT arriving./

Haldir stood up and placed the food, untouched as he had no real appetite, into the sink.

It was the first time Glorfindel had ever stood him up.

/Stop it! He probably had a very good reason./

Still, it was no use waiting around for nothing. Haldir sighed.

He removed his robes, ones he had especially chosen for the evening. He divested himself of his footwear, then settled on the bed, deciding to go to sleep already. After all, he had duty the morning after.

Haldir would never admit how much he had hurt that night, waiting for Glorfindel, refusing to let the candles just die out. As he closed his eyes, a small tear escaped. He did not bother wiping it off.

Haldir was startled when the bed dipped and arms were suddenly around him. For a moment he tensed as a hand wiped away the tear that stained his cheeks. 

"The meeting went longer than I expected."

Haldir knew that Glorfindel was apologizing.

"It's alright." He reassured.

Glorfindel watched as his lover tried to hide the pain he felt, as well as the delight in seeing the eldar had arrived. 

"Are you still hungry?" Glorfindel asked quietly. "You did not eat."

Haldir was about to decline, but when he saw that Glorfindel would not take no for an answer, he changed his mind.

"A little."

Glorfindel got up from the bed and offered a hand to Haldir. "Let's go eat."                

It took great effort on Haldir's part not to break down and cry when he saw the dining table. Glorfindel had gotten more food from the kitchens and had arranged it on Haldir's small table. The eldar then found more candles and had lit them, so now the table was a romantic setting. Three red roses were placed on top of a plate on Haldir's side.

"Glorfindel…you didn't have to." Haldir managed to get out of his constricted throat. How was he supposed to stop loving the eldar when he would do something like this?

/And he doesn't even love me. I envy the one he loves, then, for this is only a small taste of what he would do for that elf./

"I wanted to. You prepared, and I did not come. It is the least I could do." Glorfindel replied. He then guided the March Warden to his seat.

Haldir took the roses, gently caressing the petals. Three red roses. He had no idea what they meant.

/No. It is NOT…/

"I am sorry." Glorfindel said, as if sensing Haldir's thoughts and knew he needed to set the younger elf straight.

Haldir smiled nonetheless.

/I told you./

"They are beautiful. Thank you."

They ate the meal in silence. Haldir could not think of anything to say. Afterwards, Glorfindel stirred them to Haldir's room. By this time, it was nearly dawn.

When Glorfindel kissed him, Haldir allowed the eldar to set the pace. Glorfindel pushed him towards the bed.

Just when he thought Glorfindel would deepen the kiss, the eldar broke it off. Glorfindel hovered above him, the eldar's body partially covering his.

"You have duty tomorrow."

Haldir then realized by the eldar's words that they were not to do anything tonight.

"Yes, but…" He could not believe Glorfindel would leave him like this.

But the eldar did not go anywhere. Instead, he settled next to Haldir.

"Sleep."

Haldir opened his mouth to protest.

"You are duty tomorrow. But the day after that, you are free."

The unspoken promise was enough to convince Haldir to wait. He snuggled up to his lover, momentarily forgetting himself. When he realized what he was doing, Haldir pulled back. 

"Sorry." He murmured.

But Glorfindel was already asleep.

Haldir watched the eldar in reverie. Glorfindel looked peaceful.

/He must be exhausted. The travel, then that meeting./

Haldir wondered what the meeting had been about.

"You are so beautiful." Haldir reached out hesitantly to touch Glorfindel's face. When the eldar did not wake, Haldir grew emboldened and he gently caressed the eldar's hair.

"I love you."

Haldir sighed.

"I wish I could say that when you are awake."

But Haldir had vowed that he never would.

/Someday, I hope to break that vow./

Haldir smiled, then sleep claimed him and he went to the land of dreams.

Glorfindel opened his eyes.

Glorfindel's eyes watered at the memory.

/It must have been difficult for you, melamin. I am sorry. I know I have a lot to make up for./

/You will never feel the need to hide loving me again, Haldir. And I am sorry that I had made you./

"Are you hungry?" The March Warden asked softly. Glorfindel thought about it for a moment smiling as once upon a time, it was he asking the question, before he slowly shook his head.

"No. I'm fine. I don't want to move."

"Neither do I."

"So let's stay here." Glorfindel suggested. He did not want to part with Haldir, not even for a moment. They had been apart for too long.

Glorfindel felt soft lips bestowing gentle kisses on his forehead. Then the lips moved lower…eyelids, nose, cheek. Then finally, Haldir's lips were on his own.

The seneschal moaned and leaned into the kiss, opening his mouth to urge Haldir's tongue to explore deeper. The March Warden took on the invitation, going deep, devouring all, taking what Glorfindel so willingly offered. Fueled by all the emotions brought by the recent events, the kiss burned with fiery passion.

Finally, the two broke apart, breathless. Glorfindel moaned in disappointment, pulling Haldir's head back.

"Glorfindel, wait." Haldir said breathlessly.

"Why?"

"If I don't stop, I won't be able to stop. And I will not hurt you." Haldir knew that Glorfindel was not yet ready to make love the way they used to. He could not take the risk of Glorfindel's injuries becoming worse.

Some of Haldir's words penetrated the seneschal's clouded mind, and washed over him like cold water. He opened his eyes and saw the concern in Haldir's eyes, mixed with all the passion he felt.

"Oh. Sorry." Glorfindel apologized.

"Don't be. We just need to slow down." Haldir reassured.

"I don't know if I can." 

"I'll make sure that you do." With those words, Haldir once again claimed Glorfindel's lips in a kiss. This time, though, his hands moved to open the seneschal's robes. 

Glorfindel cried out against Haldir's lips when he felt Haldir's hands on his bare skin. Haldir caressed the eldar's body slowly, skillfully, exploring territory that he had always known. He deliberately ignored his lover's arousal. Glorfindel grew desperate with each touch.

"Slow, remember?" Haldir teased lightly, before moving his lips to the eldar's neck.

"Doesn't have…to be…so…oh gods…slow."

Haldir chuckled against Glorfindel's skin. "Slow." He reaffirmed, before continuing his explorations.

The March Warden made sure that he had licked and tasted every part of Glorfindel's body, save for the one part that needed attention most. By this time, Glorfindel was begging, in need of release so badly.

"Haldir, Haldir, please…please…"

"Soon." Haldir promised, then once again kissed his way around Glorfindel's body.

Finally, having mercy on his lover, Haldir parted Glorfindel's thighs and settled between them. He took the seneschal's leaking erection in his hand, and gently lapped the head.

Glorfindel almost came right then and there.

"Haldir!!"

Swirling his tongue over the head of Glorfindel's arousal, while his hand gently caressed his lover's length. His other hand kept a firm hold on the seneschal's writhing hips.

"Haldir! Oh Gods!!!" Glorfindel could not keep the scream that erupted when Haldir took him deep in his throat.

The March Warden relaxed his throat, taking Glorfindel deeper. When Glorfindel screamed once again, Haldir almost came from the sound alone. He swallowed, tightening his throat, and Glorfindel's hips rose from the bed. 

When Haldir repeated the action, Glorfindel came, and Haldir took in all that his lover gave.

Glorfindel fell on the bed limply, exhausted. He could not move. He felt Haldir kiss his limp arousal, moving higher, until Haldir was kissing his lips once again. He opened his mouth, allowing Haldir to deepen the kiss. A foreign taste was on Haldir's mouth, and Glorfindel's arousal twitched, realizing that it was his taste.

Haldir broke the kiss, and smiled at the satisfied look on Glorfindel. He gathered his exhausted lover in his arms, and bade him to sleep.

"But…you haven't…"

Haldir smiled at Glorfindel's protest. "I did."

Glorfindel looked at him, slightly puzzled. 

"Come now, Glorfindel, it's not the first time I came from your moans alone." Haldir said, laughing at the expression on his lover's face brought about by his words. When he felt Glorfindel's hands on his elfhood, albeit checking to see if  Haldir was being truthful, the March Warden burst out laughing. Glorfindel had the grace to blush.

"I was making sure you weren't just making me rest because you did not want me too tired. " Glorfindel mumbled, his face still flaming. Haldir laughed even more at Glorfindel's explanation. Finally, when he had calmed down enough to speak, he kissed Glorfindel.

"Oh, love. Of course I would want you to rest. But I would not lie to you. Besides, you do make very good sounds when you come, or when you are being pleasured. It is not so strange that I find them…stimulating."

Glorfindel smiled at Haldir. "Alright." He finally conceded.

Haldir, still slightly breathless, kissed Glorfindel's head lightly. "Go to sleep." He said, before moving to stand up.

"Where are you going?" Glorfindel asked. He knew that Haldir was not leaving, but still…

Haldir's heart tightened, seeing the worry in his lover's eyes.

/I will never leave you like that again. I am sorry Glorfindel./

"I am just going to the bathroom, to get a cloth to clean us up." He explained.

"Oh." Glorfindel felt a little foolish. Haldir had promised he would never leave again. The March Warden had never broken a promise. Glorfindel should not have asked where he was going.

"I'll be back." Haldir reassured.

Glorfindel could only nod. He did not know what to say. But he felt the relief come over him when Haldir had reassured him that he would come back. It was stupid. But the fear was difficult to quench, especially so soon after all that had happened.

Haldir returned with a damp towel and cleaned them up. After they were both wiped clean, he lay down, snuggling up to Glorfindel.

"Sleep." He said once again, realizing that his lover waited for him. "I won't go anywhere."

Glorfindel smiled. "I know."

The seneschal rested once again. He was not yet strong enough. He tired easily.

Haldir watched over his lover while the seneschal slept in his arms.

/I will never, ever leave you again./ He vowed. He would do everything to remove the doubt in Glorfindel's eyes whenever Haldir left the room.

TBC

A/n: I switched back to the switch to the past thingie. What do you think?

THANKIES FOR YOUR REVIEWS!!!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	32. chapter 32

Disclaimer: Tolkien's characters. Except for one.

A/N: A little explanation about the whole glorfi opened his eyes when Haldir said "I love you" thing. The question was, did Glorfindel hear what Haldir said? True, glorfi didn't know about how Haldir felt, but it did not mean that were moments when Haldir was almost discovered, and that the Gondolin elf didn't 'feel' some things (i.e like when you have a feeling that someone likes you, and it turns out that person does? Like that.). You know how it was when you feel like you missed something important that happened but not quite sure what it was? That was how it was like with glorfi in that flashback, except that he had a tiny idea what it was, only he was in denial about the whole thing, so he dismissed it. But now that he knows about everything, and everything is revealed, everything now clicked into place. It's like those times that some things are not clear until you see the big picture. Hmmm…this is confusing, isn't it? Still, I hope I answered the question though.

WARNING: SLASH.

Ecthelion watched Celeborn in the corner of his eyes. The elf lord sat quietly beside him, watching the sleeping elf on the bed. Occasionally, the lorien elf would smile, as if remembering a very amusing event. Ecthelion then looked at Rhyden, who still had not woken.

Perhaps he should take up on Celeborn's offer and go visit Glorfindel.

"Just go." Celeborn said quietly. He looked at Ecthelion and smiled.

The Gondolin elf looked at him incredulously.

"How do you do that? Do you read minds?"

Celeborn laughed lightly.

"No. But it is easy to read you." The elf lord replied.

Ecthelion shook his head. 

"He would like to see you, too. And Haldir, he is probably worried about you too."

Ecthelion raised his brows. It was not that he found the idea of the March Warden worrying about him ridiculous. It was the idea that Haldir would even think of him when Glorfindel was injured, well, that was the problem. If he had been in Haldir's position, he would not have been able to worry about anyone else. Wait a minute; he had not been able to think of anyone else.

"I am just saying you really should go visit." Celeborn said, laughing at the expression that came to Ecthelion's face when he mentioned Haldir being worried.

Ecthelion sighed. "I suppose I could go."

"Don't suppose. Just go. Glorfindel would be delighted to see you. Now, off with you."

Ecthelion looked at Celeborn, again raising his brows. "I am not a child. No need to shoo me off." He said, but a hint of mirth gleamed in his eyes. As he turned to go out, he heard Celeborn's response.

"I know that you are not a child, Ecthelion. Far from it, in fact. But sometimes…I wonder."

Ecthelion knocked hesitantly on Haldir's bedroom door. A soft voice bid him to come in.

When he did, Ecthelion felt the stirrings of jealousy at the sight that met him. 

Glorfindel lay sleeping, snuggled very close to Haldir. A blanket covered the elves, but Ecthelion knew from sheer experience that they were entwined. Haldir was awake and was holding Glorfindel, making sure that Glorfindel would not lean on his wounds.

"Ecthelion. Sit down." Haldir greeted. The March Warden felt awkward. He and Ecthelion never really spoke. He had no idea what the elf was thinking, finding him and Glorfindel in this position. He knew that he and his lover looked like they had just finished something that only went on behind closed doors, and sometimes on forest floors.

Ecthelion sat on the chair next to the bed. He felt awkward as well. This was strange.

/I am used to being the one holding Glorfindel like that. /

"He is doing fine. Just resting. He was tired last night. From the wounds probably. Or the sleeping herbs. They make him sleepy." Haldir knew he was babbling. He felt his face heat up. He had no idea why he suddenly felt embarrassed.

Ecthelion noticed the discomfort Haldir was in. It was similar to his own. He smiled, trying to reassure the younger elf.

"I see. Well, that's good. He should rest then. I have to go." He moved to get up.

"No, wait, please."

Haldir's words stopped him in his tracks.

"I…thank you." Haldir did not know what else to say. He knew that if it had not been for Ecthelion…

The other elf smiled. 

"I know that you did not do it for me. But thank you anyway. I don't know what I would have done if…if you had not been there."

"You would have killed Rhyden." Ecthelion replied matter-of-factly. If he had not been there, Ecthelion knew that Haldir would probably have snapped.

Haldir smiled. "Maybe."

Both elves fell silent, unsure what to say next.

Ecthelion watched Glorfindel, looking at how he clung to Haldir, and how Haldir held the eldar in return. They looked…right together.

"You love him." Ecthelion said simply, not sure if he was asking, or stating the obvious.

Haldir looked at the other elf. Subconsciously, he pulled Glorfindel closer to him. "Yes, I do. I never meant to hurt him." Haldir knew that Ecthelion was not blaming him. But the March Warden was blaming himself. He felt that he needed to make it clear to the other elf that he had not meant to hurt the elf they both loved.

"Haldir, what happened was not your fault. It was Rhyden's, no one else's. Do you honestly think Glorfindel would have left you with that crazy elf? He would have died defending you. As you would surely him." 

/As I would if he had been the one in danger and I had to rescue him. /

"Even if Glorfindel had seen the blow, he would not have moved because if he did you would have gotten hurt. He would not allow anything to happen to you."

Haldir listened quietly to the other elf's words, knowing them to be true. When Glorfindel had lain down his sword, Haldir knew that the eldar was doing it for him.

"He should not have been there." Haldir whispered.

"If he hadn't, he would never have forgiven himself." Ecthelion hesitated before adding. "He loves you too much to let anything bad happen to you."

Haldir knew how difficult it was for Ecthelion to say those words. He looked at the other elf, and again wondered how Glorfindel could want him instead of…

/Stop it. /

The March Warden knew that such thoughts would only lead to more doubt. And he would only end up hurting Glorfindel if he let those doubts win again.

"He loves you, too." He offered weakly.

Ecthelion smiled, though a little sadly.

"He will always love me, in his own way."

/As I will always love him, in my own way. With all my heart. /

/The way he loves you, March Warden. /

Glorfindel stirred, calling out Haldir's name softly, but did not wake. The two elves tensed, as if afraid of being caught in the same room together. It was a silly reaction. There was no reason for them to feel like that. But the three of them had never been in a room all together, by themselves. They were not ready for what would the conversation be like. Haldir and Ecthelion both breathed a sigh of relief when Glorfindel did not wake. They looked at each other, and then laughed softly.

"Worried about what we'd have to talk about if he did wake?" Ecthelion asked.

Haldir nodded. "Aren't you?"

Ecthelion shrugged. "I think it is inevitable that we talk someday."

Haldir thought for a moment. "Maybe not necessarily all of us. Just the two of us."

Ecthelion nodded. "For Glorfindel's sake. I think he still feels guilty for what he thinks he did to me."

The March Warden looked at Ecthelion. "I…"

"There is no fault, Haldir. You two did nothing wrong. You fell in love. There is nothing wrong with that."

The younger elf hesitated, still unconvinced that he, not Glorfindel, but he had done something wrong. After all, he was the one who had come between the two.

"Still, if I had not been there…"

Ecthelion interrupted before Haldir could continue.

"If you had not been there, Glorfindel would have found you. There is no guarantee that he and I would still be together even if we did manage to find each other before..." Ecthelion cleared his throat, leaving the sentence hanging. "We are different, now. Our destinies are no longer entwined." Ecthelion inhaled deeply, trying to loosen his suddenly tight chest.

Haldir looked at him, observing, gauging the weight of his words.

"His destiny was to find you, Haldir."

Haldir looked up in surprise. He had not expected Ecthelion to say that.

"I…I don't know if that's…"

"Think about it, Haldir. So many things had happened, but he fought to be with you. He defied the Valar to be with you, Haldir."

The March Warden could not think of anything to say to that. So many things did happen. And all odds were against them. And yet, he and Glorfindel were still together.

"We were not meant to be, Haldir. You two are. When I look at the two of you…" Ecthelion paused, once again looking at how peaceful Glorfindel looked in Haldir's arms. "We had never looked so right. Ever."

"I am sure you did."

Ecthelion shook his head. "No. I have never brought such peace to Glorfindel. It's as if everything is right in the world when he is in your arms. There is no trouble. Haldir, he is glowing! When you had disappeared, I have never seen him so devastated. He was determined to find you. We had thought you dead, but he would not believe it. He said that we had to show him your body first, so that he would give up." Ecthelion met Haldir's gaze. "I know Glorfindel, Haldir, perhaps even more than he knows himself. And I had never seen him so determined."

"Nor so beautiful." Ecthelion smiled at Haldir. "You make him even more beautiful. Because you make him happy."

Haldir could not say a word. He could only smile at the other elf. He blinked several times, ashamed that he was about to cry. He had never realized how he affected Glorfindel. He had never even thought that he might actually mean something to the eldar, much more mean that much.

"Never doubt his love for you, Haldir."

Haldir gently stroked Glorfindel's hair.

/Never again, love. / He vowed.

Of all the people he had known, Haldir had never expected that the one who would make him realize how he meant to Glorfindel was Ecthelion.

"This time, you are going to tell me what is wrong, Erestor. And don't you dare say it's nothing. You were crying!" 

Elrond had woken to an empty bed, only to catch sight of his lover in the balcony, looking so heartbroken that the elf lord could feel the pain. At first, he only sat on the bed, watching his lover. But when tears began to roll down Erestor's cheeks. The advisor was not one to cry. In all the years, thousands of years that they had known each other, Elrond had never seen the other elf cry. And now…Elrond could not bear it anymore and confronted his lover.

Erestor was surprised when Elrond was suddenly holding him close, hugging him, and demanding what was wrong.

"Erestor, please." It hurt the half-elf that his lover was hurting, yet was not confiding in him. Did Erestor not trust him?

"Elrond, I…"

"Please."

Erestor closed his eyes against the pleading tone of his lover. He did not know if he could continue to deny Elrond's request.

"Please, Erestor. What is wrong?"

The advisor leaned against Elrond, burying his face on his lover's chest.

"Can we talk on the bed?"

"Alright."

Elrond led his lover to the bed. They lied down on the bed.

"What makes you cry like this, Erestor?"

/And how come you do not tell me? /

"I do not cry all the time." Erestor pointed out.

Elrond's determination did not waver. "I have seen you cry twice. That is twice too much."

Erestor looked at his lover pointedly.

Then he sighed. "This is going to sound pathetic."

"It won't. You do not cry about pathetic things."

Erestor smiled. Then grew serious.

"I…Elrond…" 

"Tell me. I beg you." Elrond was not going to let this go.

Erestor sighed, bowing his head, looking anywhere but Elrond.

"I…I was just thinking about…us." He started hesitantly.

Elrond's arms around his lover tightened.

"About…" Erestor inhaled deeply, trying to gather strength. "Elrond, it really is nothing." He looked up, pleading with his lover. But the determined look in the elf lord's eyes remained. The advisor sighed.

"I was just thinking about the time when you are going to sail, and you would be returning to your wife. How I would have to let you go."

/And as we spend more time together, the more it is harder to set you free. /

"I don't know if I can, Elrond. But I know that I would have to. I know that you would want me to set you free, even as you do not want to hurt me. It just hurts to think that this is all going to end, someday, love. I know that this is more than I ever dreamed of that I could have with you. But having been given a taste, I want it forever."

/I know I can't have forever with you, but I can't help but wish that I do. /

Erestor could not afford to let Elrond interrupt, so when his lover tried to, he put a palm over Elrond's lips, promptly silencing.

"I know that it is unfair of me, to want it so much. Look, you don't have to worry. You know me, Elrond, I won't do anything to hurt you like that. This is just…just hormones or something. When the time comes to let you go, I know that I will, because it is what will make you happy."

/I will do everything to make you happy, Elrond, like I have always done this past thousand years./

Elrond tried once again to say something, but Erestor's grip tightened and the advisor shook his head, as if telling him not to say anything.

"All I ask is that you give me…I don't know, maybe a few years?" Erestor smiled sadly, knowing that his request came out short of pathetic.

Elrond's hand came to hold Erestor's hand clamping his mouth. He tried to remove it so he could say something, but Erestor would not allow it.

"No! Don't do that. Please don't say anything. Don't! Just…just pretend we never had this conversation, okay? Please?" Erestor was afraid of what Elrond could say. He did not want to risk being told that he should have expected that Elrond would leave him, that the half-elf never really made any promises, that…

/That you don't really love me enough to want to be with me forever./

Elrond tried harder. The two ended up on the bed, Erestor on top of Elrond, his hand still keeping the elf lord silent.

"No! No, please."

Elrond stopped struggling. He had not realized how deep Erestor's doubt ran.

/I am hurting you again, Erestor./

/Please, let me say something. Please./

But he also knew that his lover was afraid. He had made no promises. And he had announced earlier on that he would sail to Valinor as soon as everything on Middle Earth was settled. He had never voiced out any changes in plans.

/He thinks I would leave him!/

Erestor rested his head against Elrond's shoulder. His hand loosened. Finally, he let Elrond go, knowing that to refuse would only delay the inevitable.

He closed his eyes, bracing himself for whatever Elrond might say.

Celeborn looked up as his grandchildren entered the talan where they were keeping Rhyden.

"Elrohir, Elladan, what brings you here? Where are Rumil and Orophin?" He inquired.

Elladan answered his grandfather. 

"We thought you could use a rest. We can watch him for the day. We know that you like to have a few moments alone everyday. Orophin and Rumil are gathering food for later. We were going to go, but they suggested we give you a break for a while." 

"You did not have to. All he does is sleep anyway. It is like being alone. How much sleeping potion did you give him anyway? It is taking him an awfully long time to wake." Celeborn retorted.

Elrohir smiled sheepishly. "Well, we may have given him more than was necessary. But not enough to kill him. We wouldn't do that."

"Besides, his wound was almost fatal. It will take a long time for his body to recover." Elladan added.

Celeborn nodded. "I see. Very well, I shall take a break then."

The Lord of the Golden Woods stood up and left his grandsons to watch Rhyden.

Celeborn proceeded to the lake, the place where he did most of his thinking, or talking to his wife. He closed his eyes, reveling in the peace that the place brought him.

"Ah, Galadriel. I hope the worst is over. Glorfindel and Haldir, Erestor and Elrond. They need the rest." He began to talk to his wife.

"I know that the things that have happened needed to happen. But it would be nice for them to be finally happy." Celeborn smiled at what his wife would have said.

"You are right. The events were brought about by mistakes. I never thought that elves could make such huge mistakes."

He laughed.

"I know, I know. There is no need to remind me. Once upon a time I made those mistakes as well."

/And I almost, almost lost you./

Celeborn's eyes saddened at the memory.

"I hope I was successful in keeping my promise, love."

/That I would never hurt you again./

/I hope I have not hurt you in any way, again./

He smiled, hearing his wife reassure him. He had asked so many times in the past, and Galadriel had always smiled at him reassuringly, before saying the words that eased the worry in his heart.

"Thank you for the second chance, my love."

Celeborn laughed once again.

"And third, and fourth, and for every time onwards."

He watched the silent ripples of the lake. 

"Have you accidentally eavesdropped again, Ecthelion?" He said without looking at the elf atop the tree right behind where he stood.

Ecthelion laughed, then jumped down. 

"Yes, whether or not you believe."

Celeborn nodded. It would seem we find the same place…peaceful."

Ecthelion nodded. Earlier, after having finished his conversation with Haldir, the Gondolin elf left the March Warden with Glorfindel.

Celeborn looked at his companion.

"And how was your visit?"

Ecthelion hesitated before responding.

"It went…well. Haldir and I talked. I never really thought I would say some of the things that I did, but I did.":

"And?"

"And…I feel good." Ecthelion smiled, liking the feeling. "Very good."

Celeborn smiled, pleased that all went well.

/Perhaps, the good things are finally coming./

"I never really realized how Haldir lacked confidence in Glorfindel's love for him. Not that I blame him. After all that happened, well, it was easy for him to believe otherwise."

"Especially since Glorfindel never really even spoke of the idea of ever possibly loving him in all the years that they had been together, until only recently."

/When everything was almost too late./

Ecthelion looked at Celeborn, slightly surprised. He had only heard of a portion of the events that transpired before he arrived, especially the things between Haldir and Glorfindel.

"I see."

/Or something like that./

"Glorfindel had never wanted to love again, and be hurt, I suppose. So he didn't allow himself to."

"But somehow, Haldir managed to make him, without him realizing it." Ecthelion added.

It still surprised him that Glorfindel had been the one hesitant to speak of love. When it had been him and the fair-haired elf, Glorfindel proclaimed love for him only a few days after they had met.

/I was the one who was not sure./

/Have you been hurt that badly, then, to refuse to try to love again?/

Ecthelion shook his head. If that was the case, then it was almost a miracle that Haldir was able to find his way into Glorfindel's heart. Ecthelion knew Glorfindel. When the fair-haired elf set his mind on something, he did it, and never failed.

Ecthelion smiled.

/I guess you finally met your match./

Celeborn remained quiet when Ecthelion said nothing else afterwards.

"I am sure now." Ecthelion realized. "Even if Haldir hadn't been here when I found Glorfindel, we would not have ended up together."

Even when he had told Haldir that, he had not been sure himself. He was only trying to reassure the younger elf.

"How can you be certain of that?"

Ecthelion smiled. "Because, this time I would not have been his match."

Celeborn probably didn't understand. Ecthelion smiled.

/Only your match will find a way to your heart./

He remembered the words, and the day, when a very young Glorfindel had said those words to him.

/And you were right./

Ecthelion smiled to himself. The elf following him thought that he had not noticed, but Ecthelion knew he was being followed. It was the reason why he chose to come to this place. It was partially secluded, and far away from other elves.

He sat on the grass and leaned against a tree trunk, pretending to go asleep.

After a few minutes, he heard cautious steps coming towards him. He hid a smile. Whoever the elf was, he was not trained well. Orcs would have been able to hear him a mile away.

/Must be an elfling then. An accomplished warrior would not be so loud./

The footsteps stopped when the unknown elf was only a few inches away from him. Before the elf could get away, Ecthelion pounced. Soon, he had the elf trapped beneath him. He held both hands of the elf captive. The younger elf did not even struggle, as if expecting Ecthelion to do what he just did.

"Glorfindel."

Ecthelion knew the younger elf. He had met him earlier in the week. Ecthelion smiled. Glorfindel had intrigued him from the first moment they met.

Glorfindel met Ecthelion's eyes without flinching.

"Ecthelion." He said in turn.

Ecthelion laughed. Glorfindel was far too young to be acting so haughty.

"And why are you following me, young one?"

Glorfindel frowned.

"Because I wanted to. And I am NOT young."

"To me, you are."

"For you, I am just the right age."

It did not escape Ecthelion that Glorfindel deliberately changed 'to' to 'for'. The elfling was indeed haughty.

"For me?" He inquired, amused.

"For you." Glorfindel replied. "I like you. And I know you like me. We are going to be lovers."

Ecthelion laughed. He had never laughed so hard in his life. Glorfindel got annoyed.

He struggled, and finally got free. He got up, and stood away from the laughing elf.

"Laugh all you want. You are going to be mine!" Glorfindel said confidently, crossing his arms across his chest.

Ecthelion stopped laughing.

"And what makes you think I will let you have me? I have never let anyone have me before."

"I know." Glorfindel said. "But it does not change a thing. You never let anyone have you before because you have never met your match."

Ecthelion stood up and walked over to where Glorfindel was.

"Oh? And you think you are my match?"

"Yes, I am. That's why you will surrender to me."

Ecthelion smiled then leaned closer to the younger elf. Glorfindel swallowed and took an involuntary step backwards.

"Are you sure?" He whispered.

Glorfindel faltered for a moment. Then he recovered his wits. He straightened. He looked Ecthelion in the eyes.

"Yes, I am sure. I am not going to be like all the lovers you've had. They were not able to keep you. You were not their match. But I am yours."

"Maybe I am just going to take you as my lover, like all the others, but leave when I want to."

"No." Glorfindel shook his head. "It won't be like that with us."

"Oh? And what makes you so sure?"

"Like I said…" Glorfindel smiled. "I am your match."

"And if you are?"

"Not if. I am. And that makes all the difference in the world."

Ecthelion crossed his arms over his chest. "And why?"

"Because, Lord Ecthelion…" Glorfindel stepped back. He turned. But before he left, he answered the other elf's question. "You are going to fall in love with me." With that, Glorfindel walked away, leaving a dumbfounded Ecthelion behind.

Ecthelion shook his head at the memory. From that day on, Ecthelion had tried not to be affected by the other elf's words, but he found that he could not get Glorfindel out of his mind. The fair-haired elf had only been thirty-six years old then. It had been for another thirty years since that day before they finally became lovers. But it had been Glorfindel who had wanted to wait, much to Ecthelion's chagrin. At first, the proud elf warrior resisted the idea of taking their time. Ecthelion only slowed down when he had realized that for the first time in his life, he had not been in control, and had been the one impatient for something to happen.

/You were indeed my match, Glorfindel./

/And I did fall in love with you./

/I wonder if somewhere out there, I will find my match again./

"Erestor, open your eyes."

Erestor heard the words, but shook his head.

"No."

"Please."

"I can't."

/I can't bear to see you while you tell me you don't love me that much./

"Erestor. Please."

Erestor sighed. Elrond was pleading with him. He could not deny his lover. He opened his eyes and saw Elrond towering over him. The elf lord had flipped them so that now Elrond was on top of Erestor, holding him in place, making sure that Erestor was not going anywhere.

"I am not going anywhere without you, Erestor." Elrond said simply, but his eyes revealed the seriousness behind the words. "I am never leaving you." He leaned forward, resting his forehead against Erestor's. "I love you like that, melamin."

He raised himself, smiling at his lover's awed expression.

"I love you, for eternity."

He whispered, before placing his lips against Erestor's, reaffirming in action what he has already spoken in words.

TBC

A/N: Hehe. Young glorfi sounds like most characterizations of Haldir. Arrogant, or self-confident? What do you think?

I am very overwhelmed by your reviews. I am glad that you liked chapter 31. Admittedly, I think, it was the most romantic chap I have written. Decided to slow down with the angst a bit. I tried to not write a sex scene. I don't think I'll have another one from now on, since, this is fanfic.net. I broke enough rules as it is. Thanks for reading.


	33. chapter 33

Disclaimer: Don't own them. Damn it.

A/N: It's been a while. There's a reason…..

 "Glorfindel, I don't know about this." Haldir warned. His lover had insisted on getting out of bed that morning, an idea that Haldir was not so keen on. Glorfindel had been badly injured only days before. Though he had healed, the March Warden was not quite sure that the eldar was strong enough. Elrond had assured that Glorfindel was well enough to leave the bed. But then again, Elrond was not in love with the seneschal.

And Haldir was.

And so naturally, he was worried. Out of his mind. He had almost lost Glorfindel only days ago. His fear that something might happen again pushed him to be very strict.

Glorfindel laughed. "I am fine, Haldir. Elrond already declared me fit for walking around. And I would really like to go out. It has been two days, and I feel the need to explore."

Haldir frowned. He knew that Glorfindel was right, but still.

"Are you going to accompany me?" Glorfindel inquired, though he already knew the answer from Haldir's unbelieving look.

"Of course, I am! I am not going to let you walk around all alone when mmph…"

Haldir forgot whatever it was he was saying as his lover's lips covered his in a most passionate kiss.

Glorfindel pulled back, breathless.

"Let's go then." He pulled a still slightly disoriented Haldir towards the door.

Haldir smiled. "You are going to pay for that." He vowed, moving closer to his lover.

"Later," Glorfindel replied, continuing to walk. "Right now, I want to…explore."

Elves were not meant to be cooped up in beds.

Glorfindel looked around him in excitement. It felt like the whole world had changed. For some reason, everything was…more beautiful.

/Maybe because for the first time, I feel like I have found myself./

He inhaled deeply, breathing the fresh air.

/I have never felt so free./

He laughed at that. He has now committed himself to live with one elf, only one, to be faithful to said elf, to have no other, yet he was more free that he ever was.

/I guess that's what love does. It binds you, to be free./

The thought made no sense, yet it made perfect sense.

Glorfindel turned to look at his lover who was walking behind him. Haldir was watching him closely, as if looking for signs that Glorfindel was just pretending to be well.

The eldar laughed, winking at his lover. Then he turned and ran towards the forest.

"Glorfindel!" Haldir warned, chasing after his wayward lover.

Glorfindel abruptly stopped, still laughing. Haldir shook his head. He stood in front of Glorfindel.

"Don't do that! You could lose your footing. Remember, your wound…"

"Is healed."

"Is not yet fully healed! You have to be careful! You cannot just-" Glorfindel suddenly embraced him. Haldir stopped talking. He finally realized that he was worrying too much. But he had almost lost Glorfindel…

"It's alright, Haldir." Glorfindel understood what the younger elf was going through. He went through it as well. 

Haldir's arms closed around his lover. He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead on the eldar's shoulder.

"I am sorry." He whispered. "I am just worried you might get hurt again."

Glorfindel pulled back gently. Then he gave Haldir a gentle kiss.

"I know. I'll be more careful."

Haldir smiled, grateful for his lover's understanding.

Finally, they pulled apart.

Glorfindel proceeded with his exploration.

He walked slowly this time, seeing more of the Golden Woods' beauty, finding things that he had never noticed before. He found out that though he had been going to Lothlorien for a long time now, staying there every now and then, he had never really looked around him. Now that he has, he was pleasantly surprised at things. It was unheard of for an elf to miss the true beauty of his surroundings.

/I never paid attention to a lot of things./

Glorfindel now realized how he could have missed the signs that something had been going wrong with his and Haldir's relationship in the past.

/I promise it will never happen again./

He had missed too much, and almost lost more.

After a few moments of walking silently, Glorfindel came upon a large tree. He stood in front of it, gazing at its branches. Then he turned to look at Haldir longingly.

"Please?" He asked in a very soft voice..

"No! Glorfindel, don't you dare!" Haldir grabbed his lover's arm. "You said walk, not climb trees. You are not yet well mmph…" Once again, Glorfindel kissed Haldir to stop his tirade.

Haldir pulled back, breathless. "Stop that!"

Glorfindel smiled at him innocently. He leaned forward, and gave Haldir another kiss.

The March Warden closed his eyes, lost in his lover's kiss once again. He forgot what he had been saying earlier. But then, a small part of his brain remembered, and once again, he broke the kiss.

"Glorfindel…" He warned his lover, who only batted his lashes.

"Yes?"

"You are not climbing the tree. And kissing me won't make me agree."

Glorfindel kissed him again, longer this time.

"I…No Climbing!" Haldir said breathlessly, his conviction weakening. But he could not afford to give in. This was Glorfindel's health they were talking about. He was not going to give in.

Erestor snuggled deeper into Elrond's warmth. They were sitting under a large tree, resting, after they had decided to take a walk around the Golden woods. The advisor was being held tightly close to Elrond. They were silent, listening to nature. 

In the past, they had done such a thing often. It was a past time that they both favored. It was something they shared, a love for the peace and tranquility that was found within nature. 

/Of course,/ Erestor smiled ruefully, /in the past, Elrond did not hold me this way./

But it was a very welcomed change.

Erestor shivered when Elrond gently nuzzled his neck. He turned to look at his lover, reassuring the elf lord that his thoughts were far from what they had been like lately.

For the past days, his thoughts had been painful, sad. Erestor had been contemplating what it would be like when Elrond left him. But then, when he finally confessed to his lover the nature of his thoughts, Erestor was surprised, to say the least, that Elrond had no intention of leaving him.

/For the longest of times, I spent my days thinking that there was not a chance in this world that Elrond would love me. In a span of a few days, I discovered that my love is requited. Not only that, he is never leaving me./

Elrond had assured, no, the elf lord had vowed that he would never leave.

/I still cannot believe that you love me like that./

Elrond had then explained everything that had been left unexplained. And now, things were clearer to Erestor. Elrond had not known how Erestor would have reacted if the advisor learned that Elrond wished for them to stay together for the rest of their lives. The elf lord had been afraid to confess his plans, since their relationship was new. He had not wanted to push Erestor too much, since he felt they were going too fast as it was. But he never thought that the advisor would think Elrond would ever leave him. That their relationship was only temporary.

Elrond acted immediately. He had already hurt Erestor in the past. He would not do so again.

Erestor turned to watch their surroundings once again, leaning back against Elrond.

His heart was finally at peace.

"We will be together for eternity." Elrond whispered once again, sensing his lover's thoughts.

Erestor smiled. He loved that word. Eternity.

"Yes," the advisor agreed softly. "Eternity."

Elladan sighed, getting up from the chair to stretch his legs. He had been sitting with Rhyden for some time now. Rumil lay asleep on a rug on the floor. The Galadhrim had just returned from patrol, but still insisted on guarding the unconscious elf as well.

Elrohir sat quietly by the window, watching the forests.

"Do you think he will ever wake?"

The twins looked towards the door where Orophin stood, his eyes focused on Rhyden.

"He will, eventually." Elrohir replied. Said elf should be awake by now.

Orophin took a seat close to where his brother slept soundly.

A slow moan turned their attention to the elf on the bed.

Rhyden was waking up.

Haldir sighed, still frowning at the elf he held in his arms.

"Don't move too much." He said gruffly.

Glorfindel laughed. "Haldir, it is not that high. Really."

But Haldir frowned all the more. "It is much too high for an injured elf to be on!"

Somehow, Haldir's lover was able to coax him to let him climb the tree. Haldir had agreed, on the condition that he would assist Glorfindel.

So now, they sat atop the lowest branch of the tree Glorfindel had earlier intended to climb on his own.

Haldir still did not think it was a good idea. But Glorfindel was insistent.

And Haldir could not bear to see the disappointment in his lover's eyes. He knew what it felt like, to be cooped up in bed, everyone fussing over you, and not being allowed to do what you wished to. It was stifling. 

And Haldir would not want to stifle his lover. He wanted Glorfindel happy.

"See? It's not so bad." Glorfindel smiled at him sweetly, reaching up to kiss the frown from his lover's face. "Hmmm, this branch looks sturdy. You think we could…"

"Don't even think about it!" Haldir growled. But it was too late. He himself had thought of it, and his arousal stirred. It took a great amount of willpower to let the desire fade.

Glorfindel laughed. "Maybe someday, when you are not so grumpy."

Haldir rolled his eyes and shook his head. He decided to let Glorfindel have the last word. For now.

"Haldir."

"What?"

"The new moon is tonight." Glorfindel's said in a whisper, fear nearly choking him.

Haldir inhaled deeply. Yes, the new moon was tonight, and he still had no idea what would happen.

"I know."

Glorfindel gripped his arms. "Haldir…"

"I am no longer grieving, Glorfindel." He assured. "But I don't know what will happen."

Glorfindel nodded, then closed his eyes.

/I can still be too late./

/No! I cannot think like that. I can't. Nothing will happen tonight. Nothing!/

"Glorfindel, don't think about it. I am sure…I mean, I am fine already. I won't go anywhere. I promise." Haldir could feel the tension in his lover's body.

/I will never leave you again./

But even the March Warden was not sure if the Valar would allow him to keep his promise.

Glorfindel nodded mutely at Haldir's words, allowing them to comfort him. But the fear lingered.

Broken hearts did not heal in a day.

Glorfindel was not sure how long they healed.

But he hoped…He had to believe that Haldir's was healed.

That he had come just in time.

/Please…/

As Anor began to set, Haldir and Glorfindel climbed down the tree and proceeded to their talan. No words were said, but their grip on each other's hands conveyed the fear that both were feeling.

At the door of their home, Haldir turned to Glorfindel. But the words he wished to say did not come.

"Would you like something to eat?" He asked instead.

Glorfindel shook his head. "No."

Even if he were hungry, Glorfindel would still have said no. He could not afford to let his lover leave his side.

Haldir nodded, then opened the door and the two elves entered.

Glorfindel looked at the talan. It was eerily silent for some reason. He had no idea why, at this moment, he felt an intense dislike to the place.

It looked…it looked a good place to die.

A hand on his cheek turned his attention away from his thoughts. Haldir was looking at him intently, a small smile on the younger elf's lips. But Glorfindel could see the fear in his eyes. He swallowed a similar feeling that threatened to overwhelm him.

Haldir leaned forward and kissed his lover's lips softly. Glorfindel immediately opened his mouth to allow him in. As the kiss deepened, Haldir stirred them towards the bed.

"Haldir?" Glorfindel knew what Haldir was trying to do. But he had to be sure.

"Please." Haldir begged. He needed to…not think. 

And so did Glorfindel. 

Another kiss. Clothes were discarded. 

As Glorfindel and Haldir made love, Anor disappeared completely, and Ithil slowly rose in the sky.

The new moon has come.

A few hours later, Glorfindel finally began to relax. The new moon was up and Haldir was still with him.

He turned to his lover, and saw the March Warden sleeping peacefully.

He gently caressed Haldir's face.

/Oh, love. I was so afraid./

It would seem that his fears were unfounded.

He leaned forward and kissed Haldir's lips briefly. Then he lay his head on his lover's chest, closing his eyes to sleep.

That was when he realized something was wrong. 

Haldir had no heartbeat.

TBC

A/N: Yeah, I know. Another one of those cliffies. One more chapter, and we're done.

THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS! LOVE YOU ALL!

(Hey, read my other story, NAMARIE. It's A/L. Tell me what you think.) – unashamed plugging of own story.


	34. chapter 34

Author's Note:

It's been what, three months already? Well, yah, I got caught up in real life. I came very close to forgetting my password to log in to ff.net. hehe. Well, this one's written a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, and I do not have my muse inspiring me to either change it or whatever. It was written at about the same time as the previous chapter, so there is some sort of discontinuity if you had not read 33 recently. Especially the ending of that one and the beginning of this one. Also, my pseudo-beta told me that the happening are kinda too fast-paced for her (I won't tell you since that'll spoil everything.) Oh well. The epilogue's still hanging. My muse is taking an awful long vacation. Not that its any excuse, really. Well, hope you enjoy.

The twins and Orophin watched closely as Rhyden stirred, waking from a lengthy slumber. They stood, alert and ready for anything the elf might try to do. 

Orophin approached slowly, his anger palpable, but he contained it.

Rhyden turned to look at Orophin as he came closer to the bed, the Galadhrim's hand resting on a knife hanging on his belt. At first, the Rivendell elf was confused. It took a few moments for him to remember, and realize where he was.

No one said a word. Elladan watched Orophin closely, making sure that his friend would not do anything foolish. They did not need more bloodshed.

For a moment, Orophin was tempted to put Rhyden back to sleep. But training allowed him to contain himself.

"I see you have decided to come back to this world." Orophin's voice held a touch of cold anger, letting Rhyden know that the calm façade was just an outside appearance. 

Rhyden knew he had no way out. He was injured. He did not have the strength to lift his hand, much less leave the bed. But he would not go down without a fight.

"Will you strike an unarmed elf?" His voice was soft, but challenging. He stared defiantly at the elves standing in the room.

"You are in no position to challenge us. I advise you to watch your words, and your tone." Orophin replied in barely contained fury. He could not believe the gall of the other elf. But it was not worth it. He inhaled, calming himself. This elf very nearly killed his brother, directly or indirectly it did not matter, for Orophin knew that if Glorfindel had died, Haldir would surely have followed.

The twins were tense, still watching Orophin. Finally, Elrohir stepped forward quietly.

"I will call Ada." He said, and turned to leave the talan. Before he reached the door, the Golden Woods' peaceful tranquility was broken by a mournful scream from one of the other talans.

Rumil awoke with a start. A brief moment, and the four elves save for Rhyden ran towards the sound. Elladan was almost to the door when he remembered Rhyden. He paused, watching his brother and the two Lorien elves running out. He would have to stay then. 

"Elrond! Elrond!" Glorfindel's voice was heard all over the Golden Woods as he called for the half-elf. There has to be something that can still be done. There has to be. Lord Elrond was a powerful healer. He brought back Glorfindel from the dead. Surely he could bring Haldir back as well.

Glorfindel rushed to the door, intent on finding the elf lord. He had not wanted to leave Haldir, but with Elrond, he might be able to bring his lover back. He had to act quickly. There was no time to think. He could not afford to think. Even as he ran, he could feel the cold dread of losing Haldir. The pain welled up inside him, but he pushed it down. He would not think like that. Haldir could still be saved. Lord Elrond could surely cure him. All Glorfindel have to do was to find the half-elf.

But just as he was about to leave the talan, a bitter coldness enveloped his heart. He froze. Just then, he knew. Slowly, he turned to look where Haldir lay.

"Haldir…" He whispered, afraid.

He moved closer, slowly, and he could feel the coldness spreading throughout his being. It was then he knew.

Haldir had reached Mandos.

"NO!!!!"

The Elladan and Haldir's brothers reached Haldir's talan just as Elrond, Erestor, Ecthelion and Celeborn did. They all rushed inside, the urgency in Glorfindel's voice alerting them that something was terribly wrong. The sight that met them stopped them in their tracks.

Glorfindel was on the bed, clutching Haldir's lifeless body. The eldar was crying, tears running down his cheeks.

"NO! NO!"

Glorfindel was shaking his head, saying the words over and over.

/This is not happening! Please, oh please no! No!/

"Haldir! Haldir please!!"

He raised tearful eyes to the heavens, holding on to his lover.

"Damn you! You cannot do this! You cannot take him away!"

He cursed the heavens.

/Why? We are happy now! Why!?/

"I am not going to let him go! Do you hear me? You cannot have him!"

He continued to hold on to Haldir as the others approached. He buried his face in his lover's neck.

"I am not letting go." He sobbed.

"Do you hear me? I am not letting go."

As the words left his lips, his eyes caught the other elves standing by the door. When he saw Elrond, he looked at the elf lord pleadingly.

"Please, bring him back."

Elrond cautiously approached where Haldir lay.

"What happened?" He asked even as he reached for the March Warden.

"They took him away." Was Glorfindel's only reply. "Please, I'll do anything."

Elrond's heart went out to his long time friend. But surely it was not as bad as it seemed. Haldir was recovering quite well. As his hands touched Haldir though, Elrond's heart grew cold with dread.

Haldir felt extremely cold to the touch. As Elrond examined further, his worst fears were confirmed.

Haldir was dead.

Rumil had grown almost hysterical, unbelieving that Haldir was gone. Orophin was eerily quiet. He had taken Rumil outside, where he was able to calm his brother down. Orophin held Rumil, who sobbed against him. Orophin found he could not cry.

/Haldir./

He had no idea what to feel. He looked down at his younger brother, who was sobbing against his chest.

Death was a foreign concept to elves, as they were immortal. But the war against Sauron had shown them that they were not invincible, that they could die. But Orophin was not prepared for this. He was prepared to lose Haldir in battle. But not like this.

Erestor sighed and glanced up Haldir's talan. They had left it earlier, following the March Warden's brothers. Elrond had done everything he could. Yet Haldir did not come back. It was heart-wrenching to watch, as Elrond tried even though he knew it was already in vain.

The March Warden has already reached Mandos' Halls. There was nothing that could be done.

Elrond had even tried to do what he had done for Glorfindel, but to no avail. He had not the strength, nor possess the power anymore.

Elrond had finally given up, exhausted he could barely stand. Erestor had assisted him as they left Glorfindel with Haldir, to allow the lovers some privacy. When they had left, Glorfindel was holding on to Haldir. 

Erestor knew that no force on this earth would make his friend leave Haldir's side.

Not even death.

He shivered slightly, remembering his own death. 

/Where are you, Haldir? Oh Valar, why did this happen?/

The Valar sometimes worked in mysterious ways.

But sometimes, sometimes, it hurt too much.

"Glorfindel."

"Glorfindel, you have to let go."

Glorfindel shook his head.

/No! I am not letting go./

"No! Go away!" He hissed at the voice. He and Haldir were staying together forever.

Erestor sighed. It has been a day and a half since Haldir had…gone. They had been trying to get Glorfindel to let him go, so that the March Warden could be given a proper burial.

The advisor closed his eyes. It still hurt to think that Haldir was gone now.

"Glorfindel, he will always be with you." He assured his friend, tears choking him.

Glorfindel clutched Haldir tighter. He turned tearful eyes at Erestor.

"Why?" He asked in a tortured voice. "Why are they doing this to me? Was it because I hurt him? Because I am truly sorry…truly sorry that I hurt him! I…I will never hurt him again, I promise. I promise." Glorfindel kept repeating those words, whispering it to Haldir, to the Valar, to whoever would listen. Erestor's eyes misted as he watched Glorfindel in so much pain it broke his own heart. 

"Glorfindel."

He sat down on the bed and hugged the seneschal, who continued to hold Haldir.

"Why, Erestor? Why do they do this to me? What have I done that was so wrong?"

Erestor had no answer.

Glorfindel continued to clutch his lover to him.

/Why? Why did they take you?/

/You should not be dead. Not yet. You cannot die. You cannot./

It wasn't fair. Why was Haldir the one who had died? It should be him…Glorfindel.

/I was the one who made the mistakes! You should have taken me! He did not deserve this!/

/He should be alive right now. He should be!/

/Haldir…Haldir, I am sorry. I did not know…I…please forgive me. Please forgive me./

"I am sorry." Glorfindel whispered again.

/Haldir./

Rumil and Orophin came by to visit. They did not ask Glorfindel to let go. They understood that he could not. If they had any doubts that the seneschal had loved their brother, there were none now. No one else but someone who had lost his only love could possibly suffer the way Glorfindel was suffering.

They could not bear to stay for long, though. They left, going of to a place where they could mourn on their own.

Elladan and Elrohir also came by. Ecthelion had volunteered to watch Rhyden for a while.

Then Celeborn. Elrond. Erestor.

All of them came. But Glorfindel was not aware of them.

He was with Haldir.

No one else.

Just him…and his beloved. Together.

They were together.

Ecthelion sat quietly, watching Rhyden eat. But his mind was not on the captive elf. It was on Glorfindel.

He could not bear to see the seneschal like this. It hurt him greatly that Glorfindel was suffering. He did not know why the Valars had taken Haldir away.

/They were happy./

He had seen them together, and he knew that the two belonged to each other.

/Glorfindel will follow…/

His heart wrenched painfully at the thought. But he knew that it was inevitable. There was no way on Arda that the Gondolin warrior's heart would not break…has not broken.

Ecthelion closed his eyes briefly, wondering if he too, would follow Glorfindel.

There was a great possibility to that.

It was sunset when Ecthelion left a drug-induced slumbering Rhyden to join the others for dinner, of which no one really cared for. 

Food was prepared, but appetites were absent.

They sat quietly around the table. No one said a word. There were none to be said.

"Glorfindel!" Erestor exclaimed suddenly.

All eyes turned to where the advisor was looking…to Glorfindel who was coming down the talan, undressed as he did not bother to put on clothes, carrying Haldir's lifeless body. No one really noticed the two elves' lack of clothing. All were held immobile by the despair that gripped Glorfindel.

Tears still stained the seneschal's cheeks, but he was no longer crying. He had a determined look in his eyes. Determination brought about by the pain of lost love.

"Glorfindel?" 

The seneschal looked at them.

"I have to take him to Lover's Cove." He whispered, as if his words would explain everything.

"Why?" Elrond asked carefully. Glorfindel was acting very strange. They had been worried about him for some time now. They wanted to make sure the seneschal would not try to do anything drastic in his suffering.

"It's…it's his safe place." Glorfindel replied softly. He looked lovingly at Haldir. "I want him to be safe."

The others knew then that Glorfindel was going to let go of Haldir.

It must have been a difficult decision to make. They could see it in the eldar's eyes. His suffering, his pain.

It also meant something else. 

The eldar was ready to follow.

Erestor swallowed the constriction clogging his throat. This was goodbye then. He did not try to stop Glorfindel.

No one did. Because they knew it was futile.

Ecthelion wanted to. He wanted to shake Glorfindel, tell him he should stay alive, that Haldir would want that. But it would be the same as sentencing the seneschal to a life of suffering, always waiting for the time when he could rejoin Haldir once again. 

So Ecthelion stood back, with everyone, as Glorfindel proceeded to the cove.

Glorfindel looked around the cove, noting that the stars had come out already. He knelt down the grass.

"We are here, love. You are safe now."

/Safer than I could keep you./

Gently, he placed Haldir's body on the ground, and stretched out beside his lover. He placed his head on Haldir's shoulder, looking up to watch Haldir's face.

The younger elf looked peaceful, as if he were only sleeping.

"Where are you now, my love? Are you waiting for me?"

/I hope so. Please wait for me. I am coming. Wait for me./

He closed his eyes as a sob surfaced.

He leaned on one elbow and bestowed a gentle kiss on Haldir's lips. His hand involuntarily coming up to stroke his lover's face.

"Wait for me." He whispered. A small tear escaped from his eyes, rolling down his chin, and falling on Haldir's cheek.

/I love you, Haldir./

Haldir glanced around him, realizing he was no longer in Lothlorien. When he saw Vairye, he was sure.

"I want to go back. You can't do this. I am happy now! I am not going to die. I don't want to die. I…" Haldir's breath hitched, his speech cut, and tears formed in his eyes.

/I am not going to leave Glorfindel./

Glorfindel.

His lover's name made his heart squeeze painfully. His resolve returned and he stood straighter. He looked the Valar in the eye.

"Take me back."

Vairye smiled at Haldir's brave words. Not many elves stood up to the Valar.

Haldir narrowed his eyes when he saw Vairye smile.

"You are going back, March Warden. We would not dream of keeping you here." She assured.

Haldir was taken aback.

"Then why…?"

/Why am I here then?/

"It was…necessary." Vairye seemed to choose her words very carefully. "There was…something that we needed to do."

Haldir was puzzled, growing curious. Then he remembered Glorfindel.

/He must be worried! What if…/

He had dreamt it once. He died, and Glorfindel followed.

"Rest assured, Haldir. We would not do that to you." Vairye laughed slightly. Even elves seemed irrational at times.

"When will I get back?" He wanted to return as soon as possible.

"When all is finished, and you are prepared."

/Prepared? Prepared for what?/

"All questions will be answered soon, Haldir. Be patient.

Haldir paced, growing impatient with each passing moment. He had no idea what was going on in Middle Earth, and Vairye had been gone for a while. He was all alone in the whiteness of…wherever he was.

"What is taking so long?" He asked no one in particular. He was worried about what the others might be thinking. Glorfindel would probably be worried out of his mind by now.

No one answered, and Haldir continued to pace.

Haldir was at the end of his patience. What was taking so long?

/What am I being prepared for? What could take so much time to prepare for?/

"I am sorry to keep you waiting." Vairye said as she walked towards Haldir. "The…decision took longer than was anticipated. We needed it to be unanimous and some were a little difficult to convince." She explained, though it only confused Haldir all the more.

"Decision? What decision?"

Vairye smiled at him, one of those smiles that told him she was not going to answer his question.

"Soon, Haldir, you will know."

Before he could ask anymore, he felt the ground beneath him disappear, and he began to fall.

He could feel the moment he returned. He was enveloped by a warmth that welcomed him.

Slowly, everything came into focus. 

Taste…

A bitter taste was in his mouth. He realized it must be because of his leaving. It tasted of death.

Smell…

Haldir could smell the air around him, the fragrance of flowers growing nearby, the grass…he wondered where he was. The last he remembered was being in bed with Glorfindel.

Touch…

Someone was holding him close, gently. He felt loved. Something wet fell on his cheeks. Rain? A forehead was rested against his.

Hearing…

He could hear whispering, somewhere above him. Whispers of loving words…

"... I love you so much."

Sight…

He opened his eyes, and saw his beloved...in so much despair.

"I love you, Haldir." Glorfindel whispered, before closing his eyes and leaning his forehead against Haldir's.

"I love you so much…"

His voice wavered, his emotions making his throat raw. 

/Wait for me. I will come to you, Haldir. Beloved Haldir. I love you…/

"I love you too."

Glorfindel was in so much pain, and the voice was so soft, he almost didn't hear it…

Almost.

But when he did…

His eyes opened abruptly. Glorfindel found himself staring deep into the March Warden's eyes.

The world stilled as the lovers gazed at each other. No words were said. Glorfindel held his breath, afraid that if he made a move, or a sound, this dream will end. 

Could it be…Can Haldir really have returned?

Glorfindel was afraid to believe…to hope.

Perhaps he had died with his lover, and they were finally together…

Yet they were still in lover's cove…there was still the pain lingering…

The seneschal was unsure…frightened…

But when Haldir smiled at him, a smile that brought the sun in his lover's eyes, time started once again.

"How…But…" Words were difficult to come by, and Glorfindel found he could not form a coherent thought.

/Haldir./

Tentatively, he reached out a hand to touch Haldir's face. Slowly, afraid that if he hurried, Haldir would disappear before his very eyes.

His fingers touched his lover's cheek, and he could feel the warmth radiating from the younger elf. When Haldir leaned into the touch, Glorfindel's mind finally allowed him to comprehend and accept that Haldir had been returned to him.

Glorfindel's reaction was automatic. He clutched Haldir to him, still fearing that his love would be taken away.

"Haldir." He kept saying the March Warden's name over and over, making this real, more concrete.

Haldir clutched Glorfindel just as tightly. Though he knew that his lover probably could not hear him, Haldir spoke to Glorfindel softly, reassuring his lover that he has returned.

"Glorfindel, I am here. I am here, love. Everything will be all right now. Don't cry. Please don't cry."

But Glorfindel could not stop crying. He stopped saying Haldir's name because his throat became too constricted, but he did not let go. He continued to hold on to Haldir as if the younger elf was the only thing keeping him sane on this earth.

Haldir could feel the depth of his lover's pain, and he felt remorse at having somehow caused it. He had not meant to, but that did not change the fact that right now, Glorfindel was in heartbreaking agony, and Haldir did not know how to stop it.

"Glorfindel, it's going to be all right. I am here now." So he continued to talk to the eldar, not knowing what else to do.

The two lovers held each other tight, lost in a haze of pain, suffering, relief, happiness all mingled and confused, so that they do not know which emotion they felt.

Slowly, they drifted back to Middle Earth.

Glorfindel was afraid to let go, but a part of him realized he was crushing his lover. Though he did not want them to part yet, he knew he needed to move. But when he tried to, Haldir's arms tightened around him.

He kept his tight hold around Haldir as well, his face buried against his lover's neck. He was afraid to raise himself, to look at Haldir and find out that this was not real.

"I am here, Glorfindel."

Haldir's words opened a dam and the tears came back. The March Warden's arms tightened around him as he sobbed. His lover whispered soothing words to him as the aftermath of everything that happened came crashing.

Haldir was really here.

"Don't do that to me again. Please. Don't ever do that again. I promise never to hurt you again, or push you away, or-"

"Glorfindel," Haldir gently interrupted his lover. He smiled at the seneschal, assuring him.

Glorfindel sobbed, and hugged Haldir close. "Oh Valar, I love you so much, Haldir!"

He was never going to let anything part them ever again. They had parted one too many times already.

It took a while before Glorfindel calmed down enough that Haldir was able to convince him that he would not disappear if the seneschal were to let go, just so they could lie in a more comfortable position. As soon as they settled, Glorfindel's arms closed around Haldir once again. The March Warden sighed.

"We should tell the others." He whispered to Glorfindel. They really should.

"I know." But the seneschal made no move to get up.

"It's alright. We know." Haldir and Glorfindel started at Erestor's voice. They turned to look, and saw that everyone was there. The other elves were a little teary eyed. The two did not know how long the others had been there. Haldir could feel himself blushing.

"We were worried about Glorfindel…so we followed after you were gone a while." Elrond supplied, as everyone seemed to suddenly realize the situation they were in and grew silent.

Haldir's blush grew deeper.

Glorfindel only smiled.

It was a difficult situation. There was awkwardness, but the tangible relief and happiness that Haldir was alive mixed with all other emotions radiating off the elves.

After a few more seconds of awkwardness, the others turned and left.

Erestor could sense the extreme happiness in Rumil and Orophin. All of them had been stunned when they heard Haldir's voice, none could believe it was really his, until they had ran towards the entrance of the cove and saw for themselves that it was really him, alive. Erestor knew it had taken great effort not to rush towards the March Warden, especially for Haldir's brothers. If it had not been for the delicate situation, they probably would have.

The advisor admired Haldir's brothers. Even though they had recently been in enormous pain, and would have liked to stay with their brother, the two had instead allowed Haldir and Glorfindel to be together on their own.

But for Orophin and Rumil, it was not a very difficult decision. They knew that now more than ever, Haldir needed to be with Glorfindel.

They were silent on the way back. Both still had tears rolling down their cheeks. But everyone knew they were tears of relief and happiness. 

Haldir was alive.

"We should go back." Haldir whispered to his lover. They had been in the cove for hours. His brothers had been kind enough to bring them some sheets to use as bed and cover, as well as a few pillows. But Haldir still thought it a good idea to go back to the talan.

"I know." Glorfindel whispered. But he was reluctant to leave. Haldir had been back for a few hours now. Yet fear still lingered within the seneschal. What if the magic was only brought by Lover's Cove?

Haldir sighed when Glorfindel made no move to get up. He started to, but Glorfindel held him back. When he looked in his lover's eyes, it was only then that Haldir realized Glorfindel was still afraid.

"Glorfindel…"

The seneschal looked away.

Haldir turned his lover's face back to him. Then he took the other's hand and placed it against his heart.

Glorfindel could feel the steady, strong rhythm of Haldir's heart.

He looked at Haldir. His lover smiled at him.

Haldir was reassuring him, letting Glorfindel know that he was really there.

Glorfindel closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

He opened them, and then stood up.

Offering a hand to Haldir, he smiled at the sparkle in his lover's eye.

"Let's go then." He said. 

Haldir smiled and took Glorfindel's offered hand.

As they walked back in silence, Haldir could feel that Glorfindel was still tense. The seneschal was gripping his hand very tightly.

He squeezed the hand holding him gently.

Glorfindel smiled.

It was all the reassurance he needed.

They continued on their way back to their talan.

Their home. 

Together. They were finally together.

This time, it would remain that way.

End

(except for the epilogue)

A/N: Too much crying here for my taste …but I had no idea how to do it. Ehehe.


End file.
